Shapes of Autumn (Boxed set, books 1 - 5)

by Veronica Blade

  “Oh.” It was slightly alarming to be so relieved. And disconcerting to discover how precarious our relationship truly was. Realizing those things did not give me a good feeling at all. Sure, I was still one of the most popular girls in school. But popularity was a façade, an illusion. It was all about who was the better actor and who was more convincing, not who was the better person. Greg was proof of that. Me? I was the same insecure girl who just last week so easily believed that the boy I loved didn’t like me back.

  What was I doing with Zack anyway? Trying to keep a werewolf who could never truly be mine. And through all our kissing, playing and cuddling, he couldn’t even verbally express his feelings for me. What if they weren’t strong enough? What if the only thing that carried our relationship forward was physical attraction? Something that shallow could only be temporary. I needed more.

  “Autumn, what’s wrong?” Zack asked.

  “Just not looking forward to our breakup, I guess.” I smiled even though I didn’t feel it.

  “Don’t worry. We’ll make it fun. You could slap me and make a scene.” He grinned then, noting my expression, lifted my chin to look into my eyes. “It’ll be okay. We’ll just have to get through each day, then we’ll be together again at night.”

  Right. We’d still have our nights. He wouldn’t say something like that if he didn’t really care about me, right?

  Gina tapped Zack on the shoulder. “How about a dance?”

  I couldn’t believe she had the balls to ask knowing Zack would say no. Her only purpose had to be to piss me off. It worked.

  He seemed to consider her offer then turned to me, a questioning look in his eye. She could break us up too, Zack told me silently.

  I realized Gina was perfect — just as perfect as Alura. Gina would enjoy it, that’s for sure. It’s your call. I left them standing there, returning to Maya and Trevor.

  “Sure,” I heard him answer to Gina. The contents of my stomach churned.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I glanced over my shoulder and watched Zack lead Gina to the dance floor. Seeing them together was like being buried six feet under and slowly running out of air.

  Maya’s eyes narrowed. “Why is Zack dancing with that whore?”

  “He likes to dance. Besides, they have a science project they’re doing together.” I shrugged, making an effort to get the words through my constricted throat. I wasn’t sure if what I’d said was still true, but it was the best I could come up with.

  Maya glanced at me, then Zack. Trevor did the same. She rose unexpectedly, marched to them and cut in on their dance. Gina could’ve made a scene but, thankfully, she had enough sense to see that fighting with Maya over someone else’s boyfriend would’ve made her the talk of the school for days. Gina held her head high, smiled and casually walked away. I laughed and looked at Trevor.

  “Maya’s amazing, isn’t she?” He grinned.

  “Yes, she is.”

  † † †

  Trevor and Maya went inside for the after-prom party, but Zack and I lingered in the limo. He dragged me onto his lap, then pushed a button and the divider rolled up to block the driver’s view.

  “This is our last weekend in public as a couple.”

  “Yeah…,” I said. “And I’d like to enjoy this time together, so can we not talk about the end, even if it’s only pretend?”

  “We don’t have to talk at all.” With his hands at my waist, he gently pressed his thumbs against my hips to coax me backward, until I lay horizontally along the seat. His eyes roamed my face, slowly, like we had all the time in the world. “It’s like… you’re too perfect to touch.”

  I made an extra effort to force my lungs to work. Breathe. “But you’d better touch me or I’m going to be super pissed off.”

  Zack laughed softly, scooting to the edge of the seat at my side. “The first time I saw you…” He moved a lock of dark hair off my shoulder and trailed a fingertip along my collarbone to my shoulder. “I thought you were super pretty. But I also thought you were totally stuck up. You can’t imagine my annoyance when I couldn’t stop staring at you. It was frustrating being drawn to someone I didn’t like.”

  That’s why he had always seemed to be scowling at me.

  “A couple times, I picked up your scent and followed you, just out of curiosity.” He held each side of my waist and took a long slow breath. “I didn’t think you could get any prettier but, I swear, you have since you’ve started maturing into a shape-shifter.” His voice quieted. “Everything about you makes me want you more.”

  It was difficult to determine which would lead to trouble faster — his words or his touch or the way he was looking at me. A hum worked its way through me, building. If he didn’t kiss me soon…

  Lowering his lips to mine, his inquisitive tongue brought the hum to a purr. He kissed me deeper. Caught up in Zack, I hadn’t realized he’d shifted his full weight onto me.

  “Maybe we should have the driver drop us off at your house,” he said between kisses on my neck.

  Zack had made it clear multiple times that my place was the riskiest place for us to be. Apparently he no longer possessed clarity of thinking. It was up to me now to keep us strong.

  Reluctantly, I pushed my palms against his chest. “We should go inside, don’t you think?”

  “No.” He stared at me a moment longer, then nodded. “Yes.”

  I chuckled as I straightened his tie and checked his suit. After making sure my dress wasn’t askew, I let him usher me out of the limo.

  John and a few of his friends had saved up all semester for an after-prom party, knowing they would never be invited anywhere by the popular crowd. One of their dads owned a packaging plant and agreed to let them use it, providing they paid for a cleaning crew. The most important requirement, though, was that they not allow any alcohol on the premises. They happily agreed and handed over their meager savings. The boys had spent their Saturday moving things around and preparing. John deejayed and Janine took turns with the other party masterminds, making sure no rules were broken.

  The place was jammed with people. And it was louder than the gymnasium, if that was possible.

  As Zack and I entered the huge warehouse, my eyes found Gina right away in her bright red gown. What was she doing there? Shouldn’t she be at an A-lister party? Searching the crowd, I found Alura too. I tried telling myself it was a good thing; it would give Zack and I more fuel for our imminent public quarrel. Still, it bothered me to have them there. Gina for obvious reasons and Alura because she was exactly the kind of girl he needed — beautiful, sweet and the same species as him. Unlike me.

  “Zack, I’d better not catch you dancing with anyone but Autumn,” Maya warned, appearing at our sides and giving him the evil eye. “Do you hear me? I still haven’t forgiven you for dancing with that slut earlier.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he answered solemnly, a smile teasing the corner of his mouth. “I’ll get started on that right away.”

  As he led me to the dance floor, I caught Gina staring at us. She looked way too smug. Whatever her scheme of revenge against me, it was already in motion. It had to be. And it wouldn’t be long before I knew all about it. Once Zack and I “broke up,” she’d be even smugger. Just great. I reminded myself again that our fight wouldn’t be real and he’d still be mine.

  Thinking about the impending doom wasn’t helping my mood. I needed a distraction. After a quick check around the room and seeing that Alura was too far away to sense the energy from our silent exchange, I asked Zack, What did you mean earlier tonight when you asked Alura if she’d been assigned yet?

  He raised my arm over my head and twirled me. Every newly matured female werewolf gets assigned to a pack and a mate, once they finish orientation.

  So if she’s been a werewolf for any length of time, she’s engaged or married? I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Alura was still at the other end of the room.

  Yeah. If she were married, she wouldn’t be allowed
to leave her husband or the pack for more than a few days at a time. He held me a little closer and pressed his lips to my forehead.

  A fast song kicked up so we took a break from the dance floor to get refreshments. I spied Alura heading our way.

  “Great party, huh?” She smiled.

  As much as I didn’t want to like her, I couldn’t help it. There was something so genuinely nice about her. Exactly the opposite of Gina.

  “Yeah, John really pulled it off,” I said.

  Zack slung an arm around my waist. “What brings you here? I thought maybe you’d go to one of the cooler parties.”

  She grinned. “I thought this was the cool party. You guys are here, right?”

  “You should sit with us.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. What was I thinking? I glanced at Maya who was looking at me like I’d lost my mind for bringing in a fifth wheel — and a hot one at that. But I already knew hanging out with another werewolf was the worst idea ever.

  Alura accepted, choosing a seat on the other side of Zack. Maya quickly warmed up to her, asking where she was from and how long she planned to stick around. Soon, we were all talking like old friends, but I hadn’t forgotten that Alura might be the catalyst to end my ideal life with Zack.

  I wondered how our new relationship would weather the outside interferences once we were “single.” Would Alura view him as a prospect? I knew she was engaged, but she seemed too casual about being away from her fiancé who had been assigned to her. Maybe she didn’t love him. How easy would it be for her to fall for someone else?

  “You ready for another dance?” I asked Zack.

  “Absolutely.” He grinned. As soon as we got to the center of the room, the tempo changed and everyone slowed. “Perfect timing.” He flattened me against him and buried his face in my hair.

  I concentrated on the feel of his arms flexing around me, the warmth of his body, his musky scent, and the way he held me close on the dance floor with his cheek against mine. Everyone else fell away and it was just Zack and me. Peace settled over me and for the first time since we’d left Zack’s house earlier that evening, I forgot about shape-shifters, werewolves or ex-friends plotting revenge. I was just a girl, dancing at prom with the boy I loved.

  † † †

  In the early hours of morning, long after prom ended, we dropped Maya off, then me. I said good night to Trevor, gave Zack a quick kiss, and climbed out of the limo. I intended to go to their house shortly, but I had to dress down first. Sneaking into Zack’s room later would give me practice using his bedroom window so I wouldn’t get caught doing it after we “broke up.”

  After changing into some sleep shorts and a tank, I sprinted over to Zack’s. Under the cover of a bush close to his room, I watched Mac and Cara’s window. Likely, they were asleep, but that’s what I’d thought before and been spotted. No shadows moved beyond the curtain, no whispers, and I could hear their steady breathing.

  Even if one of them woke, it didn’t matter. I had no intention of anyone knowing I was there. After shifting into a raccoon, I crept the several feet to the window. I waited on the ledge, my tiny paw scratching on the glass.

  Zack lifted the window and I squeezed through the opening, shifting as soon as I hit the floor. I stepped into his arms and laid my head on his shoulder. Running his hand over my hair, he rubbed his chin against my cheek. You always take too long to get here.

  The way he touched me made me feel so… loved. I had a powerful urge to tell him I loved him. But I restrained myself.

  I was thinking… Zack said, leading me to the bed. Maybe you should start eating meat again. If you’re satisfied, it might be easier to kill a werewolf without eating him.

  I crawled under the covers. So… you think if I weren’t denying myself, I’d have more control?

  Maybe. He scooted onto the bed and snuggled up against me. It’s something to consider.

  The meat thing is intense. I don’t want to deal with that craziness every single day. I turned on my side to face him. Using your logic, though, maybe we need to make out more so you have better control. You’ve been slipping lately, not that I’m complaining. I rolled over on top of him and snickered.

  You’re not very helpful. He suppressed a laugh and pushed me off.

  I giggled quietly, taking my usual position with my head on his chest. So what’s with the werewolves arranging marriages? Kinda behind the times, aren’t they?

  Yeah. They’re technologically advanced, but King Mortimer has been ruling forever and hasn’t changed much over the centuries. Neither have his subjects. Women are still property with almost no rights and they’re told who to marry.

  A thousand years of that crap. I don’t understand why the women don’t rise up against the system. I turned over and faced the other way, taking his arm with me and slinging it over my waist.

  The majority of werewolves have been around for centuries, Zack replied. The newly turned ones are outnumbered and much weaker. They don’t stand a chance. And the rare born werewolf like Alura would be raised to think just like them and wouldn’t know any different.

  Why do you think Alura was born and not turned?

  Because she mentioned Renzo being her uncle. I guess that doesn’t necessarily guarantee anything though. Zack scooted closer against my back, making me grateful to the guy who invented spooning. He deserved a medal. If you think about it, werewolves aren’t that different than humans. People had slavery less than a hundred and fifty years ago and women only got the right to vote in the last century, right?

  There goes any hope I had of shape-shifters being seen as equal any time soon, I said.

  I’m glad I wasn’t exposed to their way of thinking. Although it’d be a lot easier if I was more like them. Both of us would be safer. He softened the sting of the words with a kiss at the nape of my neck.

  It’s fascinating how you talk about werewolves as they and them, like you’re not one of them.

  I’ll never be one of them.

  No, you won’t. Maybe one day when the women are free, shape-shifters will be too. My lids closed against my will.

  Thank you for tonight, Autumn. I had a great time.

  † † †

  Feather-light kisses rained down, caressing my cheek, my forehead and lips. I squeezed closer to the warmth, wrapping it around me along with the comforter.

  Autumn, time to wake up.

  I tried to quiet the voice in my head, but it wouldn’t obey.

  Autumn!

  Opening my eyes, I saw Zack. “Good morning,” I whispered.

  Time to go. The sun will come up any minute. He yanked at my covers.

  Blanket thievery. Brutal. I blinked and sat up, nodding.

  We’ll meet later, okay? It’s our last official day as a couple, he said. I definitely want some time alone with you before the big fight.

  See you soon. I planted a quick kiss on his nose and hopped out of bed to make tracks for home.

  My entire house needed a good scrubbing and I was desperate to do laundry. As I gathered my dirty clothes, my thoughts drifted to Gina. She’d tried to hook up with Zack before the dance, and he’d made it clear he wasn’t interested. By now, she had to accept nothing would happen between them. But maybe she wasn’t trying to snag him. Maybe she just wanted to cause enough friction so we’d eventually break up.

  When the public breakup happens and she realizes her wish has come true, will she still hold a grudge against me? And how hard would she pursue him now that he was supposedly single? She didn’t stand a chance of winning him over, but I’d want to smack Gina as she tried.

  Zack’s reactions to me yesterday proved his control wasn’t always perfect. I wondered again how far he’d gone with Gina when they’d dated weeks ago. Could she have tempted him to go as far as she’d hinted? I couldn’t think about the answer without wanting to pluck out my own eyeballs.

  Autumn?

  Zack, where are you?

  We can hea
r each other a block away. Cool.

  I smiled to myself. Yeah, pretty handy. What’s up?

  We need to arm wrestle, but it has to be in private. Your house is perfect.

  Lip wrestling sounded like so much more fun. Sure. When?

  I’m running some errands for my mom, then I’ll stop by. Do me a favor and have some real clothes on when I get there?

  I chuckled. See you soon.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Our palms locked against each other, elbows braced on the table as we mentally prepared ourselves for battle.

  “One…,” Zack said. “Two… three.”

  I drove my hand toward his. As if frozen in time, neither arm moved. He put more force behind his push, nudging my arm backward and I matched it.

  “Are you going to cry uncle?” he asked, after several moments of a standstill.

  “Ha! You’re just trying to distract me so you can avoid a beating.”

  Zack chuckled, which opened the door for me to gain on him. My arm budged an inch in my favor. “It was nice seeing Alura last night,” he said. “And Gina.”

  I lost my inch of momentum and ended up at our starting point. “You’re a shark, just like your mom.”

  “Yep.” His muscles strained against my arm. “I don’t think either of us will win this one.”

  Though my energy waned, more power simmered just below the surface. Maybe he’d give up before I did. Or not. “Shall we call it a draw?”

  Zack nodded and released his grip. “The older we get, the stronger we are.”

  “Yeah. So?” I tilted my head, wondering where he was going with it.

  “I wonder if we inherit our parents’ strength. You know, if the parents were ancient, would you be stronger than a shape-shifter with younger, weaker parents?”

  That made sense. Food for thought anyway. “You never read anything about that in your books?”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  I mashed my lips together as I contemplated this new theory. Abruptly, he stood and tugged on my hand, one side of his mouth curving up mischievously. He slowly brought my arm up to drape over his shoulder then clamped onto my hips and yanked me against him.