Shapes of Autumn (Boxed set, books 1 - 5)

by Veronica Blade

  “We’ll do everything we can,” she tossed over her shoulder and then vanished behind the double doors.

  A soft hand stroked my back and I turned around to see Winnie, her chin quivering. The warm smile that usually greeted us was absent from her face. “Oh, honey, I just heard about your mother. I’m so sorry.”

  “Thanks, Winnie.” I stooped and folded her into a hug, barely getting my arms around her thick middle. My mom loved Winnie and by now the hospital staff knew to always assign her to my mom anytime she had an appointment. I hoped today would be no different. “Always good to see you.”

  “You’re such a good boy.” Her mouth trembled before she gave my hand a quick squeeze. “I’ll go check on her and be back as soon as I can.” She swished away in her colorful scrubs, and I prayed this visit wouldn’t be the last time Winnie attended to my mom.

  Alone again, I paced the waiting room, unable to stand still. My mom couldn’t die. We’d had scares before due to her autoimmune disorder, but she’d always come through. She was a survivor and she’d get past this too. She had to. But what if she didn’t?

  Chapter THREE

  Autumn

  Since I didn’t know how long I’d be gone, I probably needed more than the emergency bag I kept in my car. I could morph into a ferocious bear and kill a werewolf, but I was still a girl. I wanted my stuff with me.

  After I’d overfilled a large suitcase, I stood at the front door of my empty house. I gazed forlornly at the tidy modern kitchen, then let my eyes follow the length of the house—the perfectly distressed wood floors, the sparse furniture, the soft pastel walls and white trim—my gaze ending at the staircase. I’d probably never again climb the steps to my room and lie on my purple comforter. My naked toes may never again glide through the white faux fur rug at the foot of my bed.

  On a long, deep inhale, I said a silent good-bye to the only real home I’d known. I dragged my luggage to the dining room and crammed it through the side window so that it dropped onto the driveway. I slithered through after my stuff, then opened the trunk as quietly as I could.

  After backtracking through the window, I locked up the house, exited out the front door, then headed to the hospital. I fervently hoped Favianne hadn’t already passed, that she’d wake up and Zack would get the chance to talk to her.

  By the time I got to the hospital and parked, over an hour had flown by. Tiny wisps of light on the horizon hinted that daylight would soon come. Cara met me in the emergency waiting room, her lips a grim line as she hugged me. “It doesn’t look good. Zack’s going to need you to be strong.”

  Tears pooled in my eyes and I sniffed as she released me. “That’s not going to be easy. What did the doctors say?”

  “Her organs are shutting down, one by one.” She let out a shuddering breath. “My sister has a do-not-resuscitate order. If her heart stops or her kidneys shut down, they can’t do CPR or hook her up to a machine.”

  Oh, God. Poor Cara, about to lose her only sister. I clutched her hand. “Did she ever wake up?”

  “No,” she whispered, her gaze lowering to the short, tan carpet.

  My body went slack and my tongue refused to budge. The automatic doors to the emergency rooms swung open and Zack emerged, his skin pallid. Was his mom gone? Abandoning Cara, I sped into Zack’s arms and buried my face in his neck.

  “So glad you’re finally here,” he said, holding me tightly.

  We stayed that way for what seemed like minutes, my arms wrapped around his waist and my cheek resting against his shoulder. He loosened his hold and I studied his red, swollen eyes, wishing I could take away his grief.

  “The doctor told us to say our good-byes, but how am I supposed to do that if she doesn’t wake up?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

  “You have to believe she knows you’re here, Zack.” What else could I say? I attempted to do the impossible and comfort him. “She knows you love her.”

  Zack pressed his forehead to mine, his lids drooping. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?”

  I cupped his cheeks. “I’m staying right here.”

  Zack watched Cara speaking to a man in a white lab coat. I listened in.

  “She doesn’t have long, a few hours at the most.” The man in the lab coat waited a beat and his voice softened. “I’m sorry, but with a DNR order, we’re limited in what we can do. Mrs. De Luca made it clear she didn’t want to be kept alive artificially. Her heart’s going to give up soon and when it does…”

  Zack inhaled sharply. This really was it. That wonderful, sweet woman would never again call me Tesora or gently scold Zack for being so stubborn, and she’d never again lecture me on sticking by him.

  Zack brushed his thumb across my skin to dry my cheek as if trying to erase my sadness. “I need to spend these last moments with her.”

  My heart was imploding on itself, but I somehow convinced my lips to form words. “Of course you do. I’ll check on Cara.” If people were going to stand vigil until the end, it should be her family.

  “She loves you too, Autumn. You should be in there with us.”

  “Give me a couple of minutes, okay?” Hopefully that would be enough time to compose myself.

  He slogged toward the door to the rooms and disappeared. Cara’s shoulders hunched as she stared at a wall and hugged her elbows. She looked like I felt. But if she kept that up in the waiting room and didn’t say good-bye to her sister, she’d probably regret it the rest of her life.

  “C’mon.” I curled my hand around hers.

  “I’m not sure I can.” Cara’s eyes glistened and her voice broke. “I can’t stand by and watch my sister die.”

  Even Cara knew it was the end. Icy fingers chilled my spine. “She’s not dead forever, just going somewhere else, a place where she’s healthy and no longer in pain.” I gave Cara’s hand a gentle tug and she let me lead her through the door.

  “This one.” She motioned toward a room ahead.

  Favianne’s scent wafted into the hallway and I slowed to let Cara pass me. Favianne always smelled like honey and soap. When she left us, she’d take even that with her. I blinked back tears, unable to persuade my feet to budge. I didn’t want to see Favianne in her last moments, didn’t want to remember her that way. And I sure as hell didn’t want to make Zack and Cara even sadder because I couldn’t hold it together.

  My cell vibrated in my back pocket and I drew it out to look at the screen. If I didn’t answer, my parents would worry. Or worse, they might come back, which would be bad if I’d already left town with Zack.

  “I need to get this. It’s my mom,” I told Cara with an apologetic scrunch of my nose, then power walked back into the waiting room. “Hey, Mom. How’s it going?”

  “Hi, sweetie. Thought I’d check in,” she replied.

  My mom never “checked in.” If she needed something, she’d text or e-mail or she’d show up. But she rarely called to chat and only if something was wrong.

  “How’s New Mexico treating you?” I asked, hoping to coax my mom into giving up whatever she needed to say.

  “Good. We’re all done here and getting ready to go to New Hampshire. We’re swinging by to pick you up in a couple of days.” Her tone sounded firm, as though I had no choice.

  But I did have choices—possibilities my parents probably hadn’t considered every time they made a hefty deposit into my account. I’d already turned eighteen and, thanks to them, I owned my Mustang outright. They’d given me a car and access to cash in case of an emergency, but in doing so, they’d also given me my freedom. She couldn’t force me into anything.

  “You got your way and you’ve been home alone for months now.” Her tone held an edge that made me regret answering my phone. “You’re coming with us, and we’re not taking no for an answer, sweetie.”

  “But you promised you were staying in New Mexico for a while.” Even as the words tumbled from my lips, I reminded myself to keep my expectations low. They’d been uprooting me my whole life. Why would they sett
le down now?

  “That was when we were trying to talk you into coming with us,” she answered. “You didn’t come, so your father is taking another job elsewhere. We’ll try to stay in the new place longer if you like.”

  The job couldn’t be the real reason they relocated so often. I had suspected that they weren’t my real parents and that I’d been adopted—because my real mom and dad would have never kept me ignorant of being a shape-shifter—so I’d poked through their things and eventually discovered they were indeed my real parents. Which meant they had to be shape-shifters too. And in all my eighteen years, they’d never bothered to tell me I wasn’t human.

  Old, festered fury over their deception ignited in my brain. But with Favianne on her deathbed, I wasn’t mentally equipped to go to war with my mom. “Well, have fun in New Hampshire,” I said in a curt tone.

  “Autumn, no. Not going to work this time. You can’t blackmail us again into letting you stay. We’re talking about the East Coast here. No way will we allow you to be so far away for that long. You’re coming with us,” she said with finality.

  Oh, my God. Worst timing ever. Keeping my voice low, I spoke clearly into my cell. “I’m eighteen, Mom, so you can’t make me.” Especially after the ridiculously large deposits they’d made into my account. Their desire to cover any emergency that might arise had inadvertently given me the wherewithal to keep me going for months. At least. But now was not the time to get into all that. “My boyfriend’s mom is in the hospital right now dying. I’m not leaving her. I’m not leaving him either.”

  “You have a boyfriend? And why are you whispering?”

  “Because I’m at the hospital in the waiting room. And, yes, I have a boyfriend.”

  A long moment ticked by before she asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?”

  Because my shape-shifter parents would freak over my boyfriend being a werewolf and my dating the enemy. They would never believe he wasn’t like other werewolves. “Would it have changed anything?”

  “Probably not. But it makes me wonder what else you’re not telling me,” she said.

  She was one to talk! Thinking of all the ways she and my dad had deceived me made my blood boil, energizing me for a battle of wits with my mom. Yep, it was time.

  Chapter FOUR

  Autumn

  “Hang on a second.” Not wanting anyone overhearing the conversation I was about to have with my mom—and being almost desperate to get away from the smell of sickness and cleaning chemicals that my shape-shifter nose picked up all too easily—I darted through the waiting room and sailed out the exit. Outside, the streetlamps lit up the parking lot, though in a few minutes, their job would be done for the day.

  I distanced myself from the building until I knew there was no one within earshot. “You mean am I keeping secrets? I don’t know, Mom, am I? You’re the expert on secrets.”

  “What? Where is this coming from, Autumn?” she asked, her words coming out cautiously.

  “You had eighteen years to tell me, yet you never did. Eighteen years, Mom!” I paced—more like stomped—around the parking lot, my free hand balled into a fist.

  “Tell you what?” she demanded.

  “Oh, my God, Mom! You’re still not going to tell me I’m a friggin’ shape-shifter?” I heard her gasp, but rage fueled me and I couldn’t stop now. “Oh, and thank you so much for leaving me to deal with hitting maturity all on my own and letting me think there was something horribly wrong with me. Thank you so much for letting me agonize over whether you guys lied about being my real parents and I’d been adopted, or that I wasn’t human.”

  As soon as I paused to get in enough air to fill my lungs—I so wasn’t finished yet— my mom cut in. “Autumn, calm down.”

  “Don’t you dare tell me to calm down. You’re not the one who was lied to. And let’s not forget all the time I wasted trying to prove which scenario was the correct one. I mean, I couldn’t believe you’d be so negligent and not tell me I’d be morphing into a furry animal at any moment. But, no, you guys really were that deceitful!” My voice had taken on a hint of hysteria.

  “Autumn, take a deep breath.”

  I did and it helped. But, crap, I did not need this right now. Zack was probably looking for me. Favianne might’ve already passed away and I hadn’t said good-bye. Instead of being where Zack needed me, I was outside on a warm summer morning with sweat trickling down my back, arguing with my mom about something I couldn’t change. I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to chill out. “Why, Mom? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She was silent a long moment, then sighed. “We wanted you to have a chance at a normal human life.”

  I clenched my teeth at the many ways I wasn’t raised normally at all. “Because relocating to a new neighborhood once or twice every year and having you guys obsessively hover over me is normal?”

  “We wanted you to be stress free for a while before you had to bear the burden of all the things that went with life as a shape-shifter.”

  Before the shape-shifter gene kicks in, we’re exactly like humans. And while I appreciated not being burdened as a child with what my future held, some werewolves and shape-shifters hit maturity as early as fourteen. My parents should have been preparing me since then.

  I scoffed. “That’s your excuse? Seriously?”

  “Sweetie, life as a shape-shifter… it’s dangerous. And we figured the more you knew, the more stressed you’d be and the sooner you’d hit shape-shifter maturity. And then everything would change.”

  “I’m a teenager, Mom. Stress is my middle name. I’d already hit maturity the first time you came back and you didn’t even notice.”

  She muttered a few choice curses. “Your father and I smoke to cover up our scent and no one suspects we’re not human. I guess the smell got all over everything, including you, and kept us from sniffing you out. I’m so sorry.”

  “But I scrubbed down the entire house and there’s been more than one werewolf around who had no idea I wasn’t human.”

  “You’ve seen werewolves?” she shrieked into the phone. “How many?”

  “Mom, I swear I’m not in danger. Just tell me why my scent is so light.”

  She waited a beat, probably wondering if she could believe I was safe. “I assume you haven’t turned carnivore. Meat brings out not only our animal side but our scent too. Now tell me about the werewolves.”

  Right… Zack hadn’t been able to detect me until I’d eaten that hamburger. “The werewolves aren’t a problem, I promise.”

  She huffed. “There are things you don’t know, important things we need to teach you. This is why you need to get here immediat—”

  I cut her off. “You mean things like, oh, werewolves hate us? And that if I get caught, I could be taken as a slave, or worse, murdered?”

  “Y-yes. Where did you learn all that?” she asked, her voice laced with worry.

  “From Zack. My boyfriend.”

  “If Zack is human,” she began slowly, as though she was trying to bend her mind around everything, “how does he know anything about us?”

  Mom was going to lose it when I told her the truth. She’d try ten times harder to get me to go to New Hampshire. Whatever. Although Zack and I had made a pact to split up when being together become too risky, I didn’t plan on sticking to that deal. I didn’t want to be without him, especially right now. He was about to need me more than ever. No way would I desert him. “Because he’s a werewolf,” I whispered.

  “A werewolf?” my mom shouted. “You must be joking. Please tell me you’re not hanging out with a werewolf.”

  “Can’t. Then I’d be a liar like you.” I ignored her sudden intake of air and glanced at the emergency room doors. “I have to go. Zack’s mom is dying and I need to be with him. I’m sorry. I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “Autumn, listen to me! Being with him puts you in grave danger. Get in your car, go home, get your things, and then leave. I can meet you in Vega
s or something.”

  “Mom, I’m staying and that’s final. I can’t leave him and his family. I can’t.” My voice broke and a sob escaped me. “I love them. I love her and Zack. I love him. Don’t you get it?”

  She was silent for a long moment. “Okay, I get it. How long does she have?”

  I whimpered in an effort to control my tears. “A few hours maybe. A day at the most. I’m outside arguing with you and she’s dying. I feel like the worst person in the world.”

  “You’re not,” she assured me. “But you can be compassionate while still being practical. As soon as you can, you need to pack your things and get the hell out of there. You’re not safe.”

  I swallowed. “I know. My car’s already loaded with my things, including the disposable phones you left for me. Zack’s packed too. We’re taking off as soon as…” I stopped, unable to say it.

  “As soon as she passes?”

  I squeezed my eyes shut and whispered, “Yes.”

  “Okay. We were prepared to come get you, but everything’s different with Zack in the picture. As much as I don’t want you away from us, your father and I aren’t in a position just yet to travel with a werewolf. I have a friend who owes me a favor, but you have to get to him without being followed. He’ll give you both refuge for a week or two until we get there in a few days, once we’re absolutely sure we won’t be leading any werewolves straight to you. You’ll be one hundred percent safe there with all the security he has in place. I’ll text you the address.”

  A safe place to land sounded pretty damn good considering Zack probably wouldn’t be in any kind of emotional shape to make sound decisions on where we should go. Until I knew he was back to being himself, I’d make the decisions for both of us. “Great. Send me the address and I’ll be there. I promise.”

  “Good. As soon as we hang up, shut off your phone and text me from one of the disposables. Then I’ll send you all the information.”

  “Okay. I gotta go.” I automatically focused on the glass double doors of the hospital. I needed to get back inside. “Zack’s probably looking for me.”