Fostering Hope (Silver Lining Book 1)

by Amanda Perry

  Taking Greyson’s tiny hand, I shake it up and down. “Deal.”

  “Parker, we need to talk about a visit to the doctor,” Maggie insists gently. “Would you rather do that here or alone?”

  “Alone, please,” I whisper, taking a few deep breaths.

  She nods and hops off her stool. “Let’s go into the office down the hall. We can get some privacy there.”

  I follow her down the hall without a word. My stomach twists and my head spins. Horrifying memories of my last doctor’s visit flashes through my head. A full-blown panic attack hits me hard, and there’s no way for me to stop it. Turning on my heel, I take off in a sprint, trying to outrun the terror.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  LOCHLAN

  Watching mom walk down the hall with Parker, I can’t stop the anger that rolls through me. The girl puts on a show for us, and my family is too dense to see through her facade. My parents seem excited to be accepted by her, and my brothers think with the wrong heads. The idiots are all too fucking old for her as it is. All of them except Austyn. He probably has a thing for her. It would make sense, and he’s a better fit for her than any of us older guys. She’s too young for us... them.

  Damn it, something about this girl pisses me off to no end. I can’t figure out how to get past her bull shit. I’ve always taken pride in my ability to see people for who they truly are, but I can’t figure Parker out. Every time I’m around her, I try to analyze her actions a little more only to be miffed further. She even has Greyson wrapped around her finger. He’s always on my side when it comes to people, but he must be taken in by her pretty face and smile.

  “Parker!”

  At the sound of Mom shouting and the front door opening, the guys and I jump to our feet and race toward the commotion.

  Getting to Mom first, I take her by the hand and spin her to face me. “What’s wrong?” My eyes roam over her face and body, ensuring she isn’t hurt in some way. If that girl hurt her, there’ll be hell to pay.

  Tears fill her eyes and she points to the door. “She ran. I don’t think she remembers we have the front gate, but she ran off before we made it to the office. I don’t know what happened.”

  Turning to my brothers I hold my hand up. “All of you stay here, I’ll get her.”

  “Oh boy,” Austyn mutters and bites his lip nervously. “Just be gentle with her, Loch. Maybe she’s not running because she wants out.”

  “Right.” I roll my eyes, cursing Parker for putting my brother through this. I knew he probably fell for her and now she wants to leave like everyone else when they find out what my family is all about.

  Racing down the drive, I push myself to catch up to her before she tries to climb the front gate. “Parker, stop!”

  She spins around and presses her back against the gate. Her hands ball into fists and her eyes shut tight. For a second, I assume she’s pissed off about not getting out, readying to try and start a physical fight, but then I notice the shaking. Her whole body vibrates with the force of her shakes. Tears leak from the sides of her closed eyes. Her breathing comes in short bursts, and if she keeps it up, she’s going to pass out.

  “What the hell?” I mutter, slowing drastically and taking measured steps up to her. “Parker?”

  “It hurts.” She gasps for air, her eyes still shut tight, her fists now pressed into her chest. “I can’t. I can’t breathe. Make it stop, please.”

  “Hurts? What hurts?” I turn and point to my dads, gesturing for them to come down the drive and help me. When I turn back around I find Parker sinking to the ground. I rush forward and put an arm around her, helping her sit.

  Dad reaches me before Pop does and kneels down in front of us. “What happened?”

  “I have no idea. She was like this when I got to her.” I keep my arm around Parker in case she falls to the side. “If she keeps hyperventilating, she’s going to pass out.”

  “Parker,” Dad addresses her softly. “Can you hear me? It’s Collin.”

  Pop clearly overheard my briefing about Parker to dad. He kneels next to him. “Should we call an ambulance?”

  Parker whimpers and grips my arm almost painfully, her nails digging into my skin causing me to grit my teeth against the sting. She shakes her head furiously, whispering “no” over and over again.

  Turning to my dads, I shake my head. “No ambulance.”

  “Parker, I’m going to pick you up and bring you back to the house. All I need you to do is hold onto me,” I murmur quietly to her.

  She doesn’t respond verbally, rather she takes a fists full of my shirt and buries her head against my chest. The walk back to the house takes longer than usual; I don’t want to jostle her too badly if she really is hurt somehow. Her whole body slowly relaxes into me before we make it all the way up the drive. Her fast breathing evens out, while her grip on my shirt loosens. I’d bet money she either passed out or fell asleep from exhaustion.

  I don’t know what put her in such a state of panic, but my internal alarms sound off big time. No one freaks out this badly without a damn good reason, and I plan to find out what the fuck it is.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  My head feels full of cotton, and my eyes burn behind the lids. It takes a moment to remember what happened and why I feel like a semi rolled over my head. Lochlan’s whisper-shouting startles me to full consciousness. He’s arguing with someone. My previous panic attack floods my memory, and I cringe.

  “She said no fucking hospital,” Lochlan growls lowly. “We can’t just go against her wishes like that.”

  “I know what she said, son, but we can’t risk her health,” Collin whispers from some place nearby.

  “She’s been asleep for hours, Loch,” Jack chimes in quietly. “We need to take her in if she doesn’t wake up on her own soon.”

  The idea of being taken to a hospital pushes me to open my eyes and sit up. “Don’t take me there, please.” My voice shakes, and my eyes water. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Just don’t take me to a doctor.”

  Searching around the room I find Collin, Jack, Lochlan, Maggie, and Duncan gathered around my bed watching me. Maggie sits down on the side of my bed, setting a hand on my blanket covered leg.

  “Honey, you were out for a long time. We just want to be sure it has nothing to do with the pool incident.” Her tone is gentle, but I won’t budge. “I know sometimes doctors can be scary, but our family practitioner is really quite nice.”

  Before she can even finish, I’m shaking my head viciously. “You can send me back if you want to. Call Rebecca and tell her I’m too much trouble. I’d rather you do that than take me to a doctor.”

  “This isn’t a normal fear,” Lochlan grits out, stepping closer to me. My cheeks heat as I remember being held by him. I felt safe and secure in his arms. It was not at all what I expected his touch to evoke from me. “What’s got you so scared of doctors?”

  A sharp pang of anxiety hits my chest and my back straightens. “It’s nothing,” I murmur, clenching my fists. “I just don’t want to go.”

  His eyes narrow on me as he eyes me. “Bull shit.” He crosses his arms, instantly becoming ten times more intimidating.

  “Leave her alone, Lochlan,” Duncan interrupts, stepping between us.

  The two of them appear ready to go head to head. Guilt washes over me; I don’t want to be the reason for these brothers fighting. Fortunately, Jack pushes between the two of them before words or blows can be exchanged.

  “Alright, boys,” he sighs, rubbing his forehead. “Let’s let Maggie and Parker chat while we go downstairs. The others probably want an update on Parker anyway.”

  “But—” Duncan tries to protest, only to be cut off by a simple glare from Collin. He hangs his head with resignation. “Fine, I’ll call Declan and let him know he doesn’t need to come home. He hasn’t stopped texting me since he left for work anyway.”

  Lochlan doesn’t say a word. He simply stomps out of my room ahead of Jack, Collin, and Duncan.
When the guys clear the room, Maggie turns her attention back to me. “Will you talk with me about it, Parker?”

  “I can’t,” I whisper, hanging my head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  She takes a breath, ready to argue I’m sure, but luck happens to be on my side for once. Austyn rounds the corner, poking his head in the door. “Ma! Greyson colored Kit with finger paint again. She’s purple and gre—” His eyes pop wide when he makes eye contact with his mom. “Oh, I did that interrupting a serious moment thing again? Crap, I’m amazingly good at that.”

  “No, it’s okay,” Maggie huffs, getting to her feet. “I’ll go find Greyson and hose off Kit.” She turns back to me before leaving the room. “Get some rest. We can talk later, dear.”

  She couldn’t be more wrong. I won’t tell her what she wants to know. The last authority figure I spoke to about it laughed at me and called me an idiot. I won’t go through that humiliation again. After Maggie leaves, Austyn stands awkwardly at the entrance of my room. He rocks back and forth on his feet a few times, stuffing his hands into his pockets and chewing on his upper lip.

  I find his curiosity adorable, and I can’t help the giggles erupting. “You’re ridiculous.” I grin, patting the side of my bed. “Come in.”

  He smiles wide and rushes into the room, closing the door behind him. He climbs onto the bed, dropping down onto his back. I let out a dramatic sigh as I lay on my back beside him. We both stay silent, staring at the ceiling together for a long time.

  Austyn finally breaks the tension with a soft whisper. “Is it bad?”

  At first I nod, then shrug. “It could be worse, I guess. It’s embarrassing, though.”

  “Secrets suck, huh?” He grumbles, fiddling with a thumb ring on his right hand. “They just eat at you until it’s all you think about.”

  “Sounds like you’ve got some experience with secrets,” I muse, turning my head slightly to watch him better.

  He simply nods, his eyes sad.

  “Wanna talk about it?” I offer, rolling to my side and propping my head on my hand.

  He mimics my position and raises a challenging brow. “Do you?”

  “Touché,” I huff, half grinning.

  He squints, and his eyes roam over my face a few times. Suddenly, he’s on his feet pacing my room. I watch him wide-eyed for a few minutes. He doesn’t say anything for a long time and neither do I. He clearly needs to sort some things out, and I can appreciate it.

  “Maybe I could talk to you,” he suggests, still pacing. He pushes his hands through his hair, messing up the perfectly done style. “I mean, you aren’t my parents or brothers. You don’t know me like they do. Your opinion isn’t as scary, no offense.”

  “None taken.” I shrug, completely understanding him.

  It’s easier to talk to someone who doesn’t have such a huge impact on your life. Maggie could easily make my life hell or even send me away if she doesn’t like what I say. Austyn has no say in my life or where I end up and vice versa. He isn’t family or even a friend, my opinion doesn’t truly matter to him. I’m good at keeping secrets for people as long as they’re not immoral or illegal. If he wants to talk to me, I’ll listen and not repeat the things I learn. I wonder if he’d do the same for me.

  After another minute of pacing, Austyn comes back and drops down onto my bed with a loud huff. “You’ll keep a secret?”

  “Yeah, of course,” I promise then chuckle. “Who would I tell, Austyn? I do school online, and I have no family or friends.”

  “Ouch,” he mutters, rubbing his cheek. “This just took a sad turn.”

  I bark out a laugh and shake my head. “Not sad, just true. Now, what do you need to say? You’re like a balloon being blown up too big. You’re ready to explode.”

  “Did you just call me fat?” He gasps, feigning hurt.

  My eyes roll. “Yes, yes I did.”

  “I’m gay,” he admits, his theoretical balloon clearly bursting. His cheeks turn bright red, and his body freezes. “I mean, I didn’t mean to say it like that. It’s just, I’ve never said it out loud before. I always wanted to, but I didn’t know who to tell.”

  Sitting up, I cross my legs and chew on my thumb nail. “What about your brothers?”

  “My brothers are all super into girls and whatever. I can’t disappoint them. They’re the only family I know…” he falters, his voice wobbling. He sits up and rubs his temples. “What if they hate me for it? They always want to talk girls with me and each other. They’re constantly trying to set me up with the little sisters of the chicks they date.”

  Snorting, I raise a brow at him. “I’ve only known your brothers for a few days, but I can’t see them hating you for liking dudes, and if they do, then fuck them.”

  “Watch your damned mouth, lady,” he gasps in an overly dramatic fashion, lightening the mood. We laugh together at his theatrics. The fun doesn’t last more than a moment as we sober up quickly. When Austyn doesn’t say anything, I decide to offer a little advice. “Look, Austyn, I don’t know your family that well, but they seem pretty okay. From what I’ve heard, family is supposed to accept you. The good, the bad, and the crazy parts of you.”

  “I don’t want to risk losing the relationships I have with them,” he whispers, dropping his head into his hands.

  I set my hand on the top of his head as his shoulders shake silently. “You’ll never know what they think until you tell them. Just sit on it for a while longer. When the time feels right, tell them. Until then, I’ll keep your secret.”

  He sniffs and takes a deep breath then raises his head. “I’ll think on it. Thanks, Parker, I have a feeling you and I are going to be good friends.”

  “Why, because I don’t care that we’re both into dudes?” I joke, wiggling my brows up and down.

  He bursts into laughter, holding his stomach. “I can’t with you.”

  “Yeah, you can.”

  Austyn really is a nice guy. I have a good feeling about him. He seems totally genuine and sweet. Part of me would like to talk to him about my problems and issues, but the idea of talking to someone about it gives me a stomach ache.

  Austyn pats my knee and smiles gently. “I’m a good listener if you ever want to talk to me about anything, Starshine.”

  “Thanks, Buttercup.” I grin, smiling easily with the knowledge I have a friend I can talk to.

  He bites his upper lip. “Can I give you an awkward hug?”

  Laughing, I lean forward and wrap my arms around him.

  My door swings open, and Dominic rushes in with Declan and Talen close behind him. Dominic stops dead in his tracks when his eyes land on me and Austyn. Declan manages to stop before running into Dominic’s back, but Talen’s attention is on me and Austyn. He crashes right into his brother, knocking him forward a few feet.

  “Way to go, Grace.” I snort, raising my eyebrows at Talen.

  His eyes narrow on Austyn, then on me. What’s his deal? All three of them, actually. They’re watching us like they walked in on an X-rated show. Turning to Austyn, I quickly realize he won’t be any help in figuring out their strange behavior. A mischievous grin spreads across his lips. He hops off my bed, pats my shoulder, and heads for the door.

  “It’s been fun, Starshine,” he calls over his shoulder as he passes his brothers. “We’ll do it again sometime soon.”

  Chuckling, I nod to his retreating back. “Sounds good, Buttercup.”

  Talen growls quietly and follows Austyn out of the room, shouting for him to wait up. Dominic and Declan continue to watch me, and it makes me uncomfortable after a few minutes. “Did you two need something?”

  “Oh!” Dominic snaps out of his odd trance and shakes his head. “Yeah, we heard you were awake. We wanted to be sure you’re okay.”

  Shuddering at the reminder of how close I came to going to a doctor, I watch them closely. “I’m fine. Hungry, but fine.” If they try to suggest taking me in, I’m out of here.

  Declan strolls over to
me and holds out a hand. “I know just the thing to make you feel all better.”

  Hesitantly, I place my hand in his and allow him to pull me from the bed. He guides me to the hall and down the stairs, never letting my hand go. Why does holding his hand do funny things to my body? Dominic follows us laughing quietly. When we make our way to the kitchen, we find everyone gathered around the island. I’m beginning to realize the kitchen is the meeting place for this family.

  Sliding onto a stool, I sit silently and watch as they go about their daily lives as a family. A small smile graces my lips. The idea of sticking around here for a few months comes to mind. I could really learn to like it here with this family.

  “Hello, gorgeous.” Talen smirks as he slides onto the stool next to mine. "How are you?” Whatever issue he had with Auystn seems resolved as Talen is back to his lively self and Austyn is all smiles on the other side of the room with Jack.

  I giggle at Talen. An honest to God, thirteen year old girl at a boy band concert giggle comes from my mouth. Wishing I could smack myself in the forehead. I wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

  “Well?” Talen brings me back from my inner scolding and I blink up at him.

  “Erm, I’m doin’ fine, I guess.”

  Declan scoffs from across the island. “You almost died twice today, you’re not fine. Eat this sandwich. It’ll help you feel better.”

  “That’s a bit of an exaggeration.” I roll my eyes while taking a large bite of the turkey sandwich. “I fell in a pool and then I went mental for a second. Hardly life threatening issues.”

  “Actually”—Duncan points to me, his expression serious—“the pool thing is serious and could have been life threatening. If Greyson hadn’t seen you fall in, it could have been much worse.”

  “It’s the damned dog’s fault,” I growl, crossing my arms. “He tried to kill me.”

  “Pup didn’t try to kill you, he wanted to meet you.” Duncan tries to reason, a soft smile gracing his lips. “You should go introduce yourself to him and Kit.”