Bluegrass King (The Americana Series Book 17)

by Janet Dailey

  'Because of your promise to your father,' he stated rather than asked.

  'Yes,' she whispered. There was a funny ache in her throat and she had to look away from his solemn face.

  'I don't see what the problem is,' Barrett shrugged. 'You can't possibly be breaking your promise by looking at a horse, unless you intend to buy one.'

  His mocking rejoinder didn't succeed in raising a smile to erase her expression of helpless dismay. 'Please, take me home.'

  'Dani, what are you going to do? Lock yourself in a room?' he asked in a gentle kind of exasperation. 'Horses are everywhere. You can't spend the rest of your life avoiding their existence, whether it's a stable nag or a blooded stallion.'

  'I know that's true,' Dani admitted, staring at her tightly Clenched hands. 'But—Keeneland,' she sighed helplessly.

  'Answer me honestly,' instructed Barrett firmly. 'Do you want to go?'

  'That's beside the point,' she sighed again.

  'It is the point,' he corrected. 'If you want to go, I'll take you. If you don't want to go, I'll take you home.'

  'It isn't fair,' Dani protested. 'I want to go, but I won't break my promise to Lew.'

  'Then I'm taking you to the sale.' His mouth closed in a grim line, ending any further discussion on the subject as he started the car and reversed out of the lot.

  Secretly Dani was glad the decision had been taken out of her hands. Attending the Keeneland sale was a dream come true. She soothed the pricks of her conscience with Barrett's argument that looking at horses wasn't breaking her promise.

  There was no longer any artificial sparkle to her smile as she and Barrett were whisked through the crowds of tourists outside the sales pavilion and into the select semi-circle of money green seats. The noise, the scattered conversation on the merits of this yearling over another the rustling pages in the catalogue, the raised dais of the auctioneer, his spotters stationed strategically around the arena, the electric excitement that crackled through the air, all these things Dani took in instantly,

  Minutes later the auction began as the first colt was led into the roped enclosure beneath the auctioneer's stand, identified only by the number on his sleek hip. For the first few horses, Dani listened attentively to the singsong chant exhorting the buyers to go higher with their bids, and strained her eyes to catch sight of the bidders as they made their almost imperceptible signs, a flick of a finger, a bob of the head, the movement of a programme.

  Slowly her mind began to shut out the murmurs of the crowd, the chant of the auctioneer, and the cries of the spotters. Not even the pressure of Barrett's shoulder against hers was noticed as she hypnotically studied the yearlings being led in, sold, and led out.

  It was impossible to remain immune to the almost perfection of these prize horses, bred strictly for speed and beauty, the long, gracefully curved necks that swung up and down in cadence with the stride, propelling the horse forward, and the long, slender legs to increase the stride were the basic characteristics of the breed. But her father had taught Dani to look for the straight walk, the wide throat, muscular shoulders and haunches, and flat knees. As the hammer fell with the sale of the last horse, she leaned against the green back cushion, watching the milling crowds of buyers slowly exiting the arena.

  'Are you sorry you came?' Barrett spoke for the first time since they had entered the sales pavilion.

  She swallowed the tight lump in her throat. 'Yes, I am.' Her cinnamon-coloured eyes were misted over when she turned her gaze to him. The expression on his strong features showed no surprise at her answer.

  'Why?' he asked, showing no inclination to move from his seat as his bland gaze swept over the taut lines of her face.

  But Dani refused to answer, hunching instead a little deeper in her seat, cold arms of misery closing around her. Visions of those magnificent specimens of young Thoroughbreds danced in her head, bringing back haunting memories when racehorses had been such a vital part of her life.

  'Have you finally realized that you have to live your own life?' he demanded. 'Not the one your father wants you to live? Or Marshall?'

  'There's nothing wrong with being a model,' she dodged.

  'Absolutely not, as long as that's what you want to be.'

  'Why wouldn't I want to be a model?' she demanded with a defiant ring.

  'That's something you'll have to decide for yourself,' Barrett replied calmly, rising to his feet and drawing her with him. 'Meanwhile I'll take you home.'

  But Dani wasn't ready to let the subject be dropped. 'I suppose you still think I looked better when I ran around dressed like a boy with my hair cropped short and couldn't discuss anything except horses!'

  His fingers bit into her upper arm as he spun her around w face him, 'When will you stop degrading the girl that you used to be? There was nothing wrong with you. You were simply slower to mature owing to your background. In time, you would have awakened on your own to the feminine side of your nature.'

  'So what are you saying?' Pain bit into her words as Dani remembered that slowly growing awareness she had felt about the way she dressed long before her father had ever pushed her out to become a woman. She could even admit that the antagonism Barrett had aroused in the past had been a defense mechanism to keep from falling under his spell. 'Are you saying I should go back to the track? Back to being a groom and an exercise boy?'

  'I want you to do what you want to do, not what someone else tells you that you should do.' He released her arm and turned away.

  'Why?' Dani asked in a beseeching kind of a whisper.

  'Why what?' A brow lifted in enquiry.

  'Why do you care?'

  'Because I don't want to see you make a mistake and end up being unhappy,' Barrett said quietly.

  'Is that why you've been seeing me? All those times,' she murmured, 'you were trying to protect me like a big brother.'

  There was an almost imperceptible movement of his head back and a cool aloofness stole into his eyes. 'Yes, that's basically right. You needed an anchor, some link with your past. I imagine I provided that for you.'

  'I think your little sister has grown up now,' Dani said numbly, knowing he couldn't have made it plainer the way he regarded her.

  'Have you?' returned Barrett, studying her thoroughly.

  'At least I see things more clearly,' she stated, turning away so he couldn't see the bitter lines around her mouth.

  The long drive back to Louisville was accomplished in silence. Dani didn't give Barrett a chance to accompany her to her apartment door as she burst quickly out of the car, thanked him for the day and told him quite firmly not to bother to come in. At the building entrance she didn't even turn around to wave.

  The shrill ring of the telephone greeted her as she entered her apartment. Wearily, rubbing her aching head, she slumped on the couch beside the telephone and answered it.

  'Danielle! My God! Where have you been?' Marshall's angry voice sounded in the receiver.

  Not until that moment did Dani remember that Marshall had planned to come over this afternoon. 'I'm sorry, Marshall,' she answered insincerely. 'I should have let you know I would be gone.'

  'I've been phoning all over town trying to find out where you were. Where were you?' he demanded.

  She ignored the outraged tone of his voice and the question. 'Are you busy right now?' she asked instead. 'I'd like to come over.'

  'Now?' Her request had plainly caught him by surprise. 'Is something wrong?'

  'I'm not ill or hurt, if that's what you are thinking,' Dani laughed bitterly. 'I want to talk to you, and I'd prefer to do it tonight.' By morning her resolve might weaken.

  'I'll be there in five minutes,'

  Chapter Ten

  'YOU'VE got to be crazy!' Marshall exclaimed when Dani broke the news to him. 'You're just beginning to achieve some success. You can't mean to quit now!'

  'I can and I am,' she said emphatically.

  'But why, for heaven's sake?'

  'That doesn't concern
you.' She sat down at the table and opened her chequebook, glad she had saved the money she had earned. Combined with the nest egg her father had given her, she had more than enough to pay back the money Marshall had expended. 'How much do I owe you?'

  'You owe me a damned sight more than money!' His face darkened in anger.

  'No, I don't. The only strings attached to you and me are monetary—a point you made yourself,' Dani reminded him firmly.

  'At least you can tell me why you've suddenly decided that you're going to throw away everything I've given you!'

  'It hasn't been sudden, Marshall, although it must seem that way.' A heavy sigh punctuated her statement. 'It's been building up subconsciously for quite a while. And today I realized this wasn't the way I wanted to live for the rest of my life. Oh, I admit that at first I found the newness of being a model and going to fancy parties exciting, rather like playing "dress-up". Lately I haven't enjoyed a minute of it.'

  It was half-truths, all of it. But Dani was honest enough with herself to realize that it was Barrett King who had given her the majority of impetus to her decision. As long as she remained a model and a companion of Marshall's, Barrett would continue to see her, carrying on the big brother act that tore at the heart that loved him.

  'I'm grateful for the help and support you gave me, Marshall,' she went on quietly.

  'Oh, Danielle,' he moaned, his anger evaporating as he stared intently into her eyes, 'I can't let you go that simply. I want to marry you. You and I make a perfect team. We're perfect partners for one another.'

  'You make it sound like a business merger.' A sad smile curved her mouth.

  'I love you,' he hurried to assure her of that. 'We can take this town, this country by storm. Everyone will look at us and say "what a perfect couple".'

  She could tell he meant every word that he said and she found that she felt a little bit sorry for him. 'What you don't understand, Marshall, is that I don't want that kind of a marriage. I don't want it to be a public thing, but a very private one with a home and babies.' A discovery she had realized only that moment, dark auburn-haired babies with green eyes. 'Would you want children?'

  There was a puckering frown of hesitation between the dark brows before Marshall answered. 'If that was what you wanted,' he nodded.

  'You always make the right answers,' she sighed, 'but it wouldn't work. I'm still a country girl, in spite of all the clothes and jewellery and make-up.'

  Instinctively Dani knew that Marshall's feelings for her were only superficial. He was too interested in himself and his career to ever really fall in love. But he continued to argue the point, only accepting the cheque from Dani when she remained adamant in her stand.

  When she finally persuaded him to leave, his last words to her were, 'I'm still going to get you to change your mind. John has a contract coming up for a fashion layout in a large magazine. You'll be in it.'

  Dani smiled, 'Goodbye, Marshall.' And she closed the door.

  What he didn't know, and she purposely hadn't told him, was that she wouldn't be here tomorrow to listen to his attempts, or any other day. First she was going to fly to New York where her father was. If he still didn't want her with him, then she would find somewhere else to go and something else to do. But she owed it to Lew to let him know that she didn't intend to keep the promise any more. Horses were in her blood just as they were in his, and becoming a social butterfly hadn't changed it.

  While Barrett was letting her know that his feelings towards her were of a strictly brotherly kind, he had managed to make her understand that she couldn't keep that promise. With one hand he had taken away the hopes of realizing one love and handed back her love of horses with the other.

  The next morning, Dani bought suitcases and an airline ticket, closed her account at the bank and packed. It didn't matter that she might never have an opportunity to wear such beautiful clothes again. Never once did she allow herself to shed the tears that burned in her eyes. Her movements were silent and without haste as she ignored the ringing of the telephone and the doorbell. Not that there was any chance that Marshall could change her mind. She simply couldn't see any point in continuing the argument.

  Hours later she stepped from the taxi cab that had taken her from the airport in New York to the Belmont race-track. Smoothing the wrinkles from the skirt of her yellow gold dress, Dani instructed the driver to help her place her baggage in one of the public lockers, paid him his fare and went in search of her father. She had taken particular care in her dress, wanting Lew to know that she had made the transformation from a tomboy into a young woman.

  Her gaze eagerly searched the rows of stalls, the sounds and scents welcoming her back. She saw several familiar faces, people she had met at other race-tracks. When she waved to them, they all waved back, but she could tell they didn't recognize her, a discovery that brought a wry smile to her face.

  At the far end of a row of stalls, a sleek, mouse-grey horse stretched its neck towards her and whickered softly. Dani quickened her steps, her smile now one of pure gladness.

  'Nappy!' she crooned softly as the stable pony affectionately butted his head against her shoulder. 'You didn't forget me, did you, old boy?' Her arms wrapped themselves around the grulla's neck, hugging him quickly before she remembered that she didn't want to soil the dress. She stepped back to fondle the horse's head.

  'Is there something I can help you with, miss?' a voice asked behind her.

  She turned slowly, her misty gaze tenderly wandering over the stocky man who had addressed her. 'Hello, Lew,' she said softly. At his vaguely bewildered expression clouded by recognition and uncertainty, she teased in a voice choked with emotion, 'Don't you recognize me?'

  'Dani?' he questioned, his confused look giving way to glad amazement. 'Is it really you?'

  'Yes,' she nodded eagerly.

  'What are you doing here in New York?' Her father took one step forward, his arms reaching out to embrace her. Then he stopped, brushing a hand in front of his eyes as if he just remembered something. The happiness, the elation was gone from his voice when next he spoke, replaced by a controlled interest. 'You look wonderful! Every bit as lovely as I knew you would.'

  Dani knew what was wrong. The promise. For a moment her head tilted down, her eyes studying the ground near her father's feet. Then proudly she met his gaze.

  'I did what you wanted me to do, Lew,' she said with quiet determination in her voice. 'I've worn the latest fashions. I've attended the fanciest parties. I've eaten in the best restaurants. I've grown up, I'm a woman now.' She paused, unable to explain that falling in love with Barrett and suffering the pain of unrequited love had contributed more to her maturity than all of the other things. 'I've come back. I can't keep that promise, Lew. Horses and racing are in my blood just as they are in yours. And if you don't want me to be with you, then I'll find some other trainer to hire me.'

  He blinked once, then twice, a tight smile curving his mouth. 'Welcome home, Dani,' he said gruffly, and held out his arms to her. Some minutes later he spoke again, still holding her tightly. 'I missed you so much, girl.'

  Self-consciously Dani wiped the damp tears from her face. 'I missed you, too,' she sighed. 'And you never were a failure at anything.'

  'How did you know where I was?' His hand affectionately ruffled her hair before he reluctantly held her away from him.

  Her gaze fell beneath the warmth of his. 'Barrett King mentioned that he'd seen you here a couple of weeks ago,' she replied, wondering if the quiver in her voice when she spoke his name had betrayed her.

  'He kept in touch with me,' Lew explained. 'Sent me clippings from the paper about you being at this party or that concert. I kept telling myself you were happy and I'd done the right thing, but it bothered me you being out there alone. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself when I sent you away. It took me a while to realize I had either to give up and die or fight back. The first didn't appeal to me, so I fought back. If Barrett hadn't been keeping an eye on you,
I think I would have come and got you.'

  'He…He was very kind.' Dani swallowed back the bitterness. It wasn't Barrett's fault that she had fallen in love with him. He certainly had never given her any encouragement. 'I wish you'd come for me, Lew.' Before I fell in love with Barrett, she added to herself, all the while knowing that it was probably inevitable anyway.

  'Are you sure you want to come back with me?' he asked hesitantly, lifting her chin to gaze anxiously into her face. 'I've been doing better, but I'm still one step away from the poor-house. I mean, you're used to better things and a better way of life now.'

  'But I wasn't happy,' she smiled lightly.

  He stared at her for a long moment. 'Well then,' he breathed deeply, a twinkle forming in his brown eyes, 'if you intend to feed those nags tonight, I think you ought to change into something more suitable.'

  'Yes, sir,' she agreed gaily, snapping him a mock salute. 'I left my luggage at the public lockers. I'll go change right now!'

  Returning to the routine of the racing stables was like putting on an old coat and finding it was still warm and comfortable. There were moments when Dani could almost believe that nothing had changed. Nothing around her had changed, but she had. True, she had gone back to wearing denim jeans and knit tops, but the schooling she had received from Giorgio and Marshall had taught her to choose colours and styles that would complement her face and figure. So now her curves were more attractively displayed and there was always a light application of make-up on her face.

  She was quieter, not nearly as outspoken as she once had been—partly because of her own private heartache over Barrett, something she still wasn't able to confide to her father. Yet being back with horses, exposed to the excitement of race-days, lavishing care and attention on these blooded animals, Dani was almost able to convince herself that some day she would forget Barrett. Not soon, but in time.

  Yet she dreaded the day when she would meet him again. And it was inevitable that she would, since his life was linked with horses and the track. Her only hope was that she would see him first and give herself time to prepare a suitably friendly but aloof attitude. She didn't try to convince herself that it would be easy. Even the casual mention of his name by her father sent her heart skipping beats and her mind conjuring up visions of his tanned face and the thick hair that captured the fire of the sun. Mostly it was his level green gaze, looking at her in that personal, thorough way that she found the hardest to forget and the impish twinkle that could coax a smile.