I Can Do Better All By Myself

by E. N. Joy

  “No, I said look at me.”

  Unique opened her eyes to see Lorain staring at her with an intense look on her face. “Don’t you ever let people make you feel as though you need to walk around with your head down, not as long as you are serving the mighty God that you do; the all-forgiving God. The great and merciful God. Do you hear me?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Unique nodded, feeling as though she’d just been scolded by her mother. A slight smile spread across her lips as she realized she was being scolded by her mother; her real mother; a mother whose veins pumped the same as hers. The DNA test they’d taken had proven it.

  “What? What are you smiling about?” Lorain asked, now with a smile on her face matching her daughter’s.

  “Nothing,” Unique replied.

  “Good, then sit back and let me finish teaching you how to apply makeup. If you are going to start selling Mary Kay products, then you need to know how to apply it correctly,” Lorain instructed. “Now don’t blink your eyes.” She swiveled the mascara brush around the bottle and prepared to apply it to Unique’s lashes.

  With her eyes looking straight ahead, Unique spoke as Lorain repeated strokes on each of her eyelashes. “Do black women really buy this stuff?”

  “All women buy this stuff: black, white, Latino, Asian. You’re going to be surprised at just how diverse both the women and men who actually use this product are. Just wait until you build up your clientele. And just think, you already have a few of mine lined up, the ones that didn’t find another rep while I was going through my ... you know... situation.”

  “Yeah, I know. Pretty much the same situation that caused me to be jobless in the first place,” Unique sighed. “I sure did love working with Sister Tamarra.” Unique shrugged. “Who knows, she just might give me a second chance one day.”

  “But in the meantime, you are going to be your own boss, Miss Mary Kay Representative.”

  “Thanks for doing this for me.” Unique was grateful.

  “Not a problem. I mean, I wasn’t doing anything with the stuff. I was going to start up my business again when everything got back on track, but now that I have to prepare for a new baby in the house ...” Lorain’s eyes lit up at the thought. “God is so good. And He’s definitely a God of second chances. This is a second chance to be the mother to your child that I wasn’t to you.” Lorain began to tear up.

  “It’s a second chance for me too; to finally do something right. I’m going to sell this Mary Kay, save up every dime I earn, then after the baby is born, I’m going to get me and my three boys a place of our own. Nothing is going to stop me this time—nothing!” Unique was adamant.

  “Now that’s what I’m talking about. You break that curse of lack in Jesus’ name,” Lorain declared.

  “Amen to that,” Unique concurred as she and Lorain high-fived.

  Both of these women may have thought they had the master plan at getting their lives back on track and in order. But was that the Master’s plan?

  Chapter Nine

  “I know that typically board meetings are closed to congregation members not holding a position on the board,” Margie started, “but I asked Mother Doreen to join us for a reason. Now if all of the new and old business has been discussed, I’m going to ask her to join us in the conference room now.”

  There were a couple of mumbles and nods from the other seven persons in the room, all board members of the New Day Temple of Faith Board of Directors.

  “Okay, then,” Margie said when no one brought forth any other subject matter to be discussed. “I’ll let Mother Doreen know it’s okay to come in now.”

  She went and opened the conference-room door, then entered the lobby area outside of her office where Mother Doreen had been waiting for the last fifteen minutes. The board meetings usually ran no longer than an hour, so Margie had asked Mother Doreen to arrive toward the end. That’s exactly what Mother Doreen had done.

  “Good evening, Mother Doreen. I’m glad you could make it,” Margie greeted the olive-colored woman with salt-and-pepper, ear-length hair.

  “So am I.” The shorter woman standing under five feet tall stood and greeted her pastor in return.

  “Well, for the past couple of days, I’ve been thinking and praying, of course, about the Singles’ Ministry and having you start it back up again, Mother Doreen.”

  “Uh-huh.” Mother Doreen nodded her attentiveness to what Margie was saying.

  “And so I wanted to discuss this matter with the board. And since the ministry was your vision, I wanted to include you as well. Is that okay?”

  “Certainly,” Mother Doreen replied, eager to hear the verdict.

  “Then shall we?” Margie held out her hand for Mother Doreen to lead the way. A few seconds later, the two joined the others in the conference room.

  “Good evening, Mother Doreen,” Sister Perrin, one of the board members, greeted. “It’s so good to have you back at New Day. How is that sister of yours doing? You know we prayed for her the entire time you were there.”

  “She’s doing quite well,” Mother Doreen replied. “I spoke with her this morning, and she was enjoying her grandbaby, my great-niece.”

  “That’s good to hear,” Sister Perrin smiled. “We know you were down there doing God’s work, but we missed you,” the heavyset woman smiled.

  “And I missed my church family as well. It’s good to be back indeed.” Mother Doreen looked at Margie. “And to be rooming with the pastor temporarily is an added treat.”

  “I’m sure it is,” another board member agreed. “Getting to step in that constant overflow of anointing from Pastor is truly favor indeed.”

  “Oh, gosh now, y’all cut it out,” Margie jokingly blushed. There were chuckles throughout the room. “But seriously, Mother Doreen, could you have a seat?”

  “Yes, Pastor.” Mother Doreen found an empty seat next to Sister Perrin.

  After she was seated comfortably, Margie began. “I’ve asked Mother Doreen here concerning matters regarding New Day’s Singles’ Ministry.”

  There were immediate sighs and even some eye rolling. Noticing the board members’ reaction to just the mention of the ministry made Mother Doreen doubtful that things would go the way she’d wanted.

  “I know there have been issues in the past regarding the ministry,” Margie continued, “but the Singles’ Ministry was a vision from God given to Mother Doreen. And we know that if God gives us a vision, then He also gives us provision. I believe the provision is what the ministry was lacking, which explains why it began to function out of order.”

  “Those women are why it started to function out of order,” a male board member begged to differ. “My niece, Joy, was part of that ministry for a minute there. She said she wanted to quit after only a couple of meetings. That’s when she realized that most of the women in the group weren’t there for the same reasons she was there, which was to get support and learn how to live as a single Christian. They were there because they thought the group could help them find a man. She didn’t quit though. The only reason why she stayed a member was because she said the meetings were more interesting and entertaining than anything on television Friday night.”

  “I bet,” Sister Perrin stated.

  “Pardon me, if I may,” Mother Doreen requested with the raising of her hand.

  “Go right ahead,” Margie insisted.

  Mother Doreen cleared her throat. “When I walked into this room, I had no idea I would be having to defend the Singles’ Ministry itself.”

  “No blame on you, Mother Doreen. We know you had no idea the ministry would become such a joke when you left it,” Sister Perrin told her. “You are a mighty woman of God. That fact not even the devil himself can dispute. We know had you still been running things, it would have maintained order. You would have stopped at nothing to see God’s vision through, for we know that you are not one to walk in disobedience.”

  “Well, amen to that,” Margie agreed behind a couple of other Ame
ns.

  “Thank you, Sister Perrin. I’m glad you feel that way.” Mother Doreen looked around the room. “I’m glad most of you feel that way, because if you truly believe that, then you will have no qualms about me taking over the ministry once again and leading it under the direction of the Holy Spirit.”

  “Well,” “uh,” “but,” “um,” were just a few of the murmurs that could be heard from the board members.

  “Sounds that way to me too,” Margie smiled in support of Mother Doreen.

  Sister Perrin noticed the evil eye a couple of members gave her who were not in support of the reinstatement of the ministry. It was kind of like one of those thanks-a-lot looks. When she’d made those compliments about Mother Doreen, she was just speaking the truth from her heart, not realizing she was making the case for Mother Doreen. She had her own opinions about the Singles’ Ministry, and they weren’t all that good.

  She herself was a single woman who wanted no part of the ministry. Once, she had planned on joining and even came out to attend one of the meetings. She was running late and the meeting was already in full swing by the time she entered the church. She could hear one of New Day’s former members ranting and raving about her ex-husband who had cheated on her, resulting in a child being born outside of the marriage. All the other members were ooohing and ahhhing and throwing in their two cents.

  Standing outside of the room, Sister Perrin turned on her heels and exited the church just as quickly as she had come, without anyone ever knowing that she was there. She remembered thinking, I could have stayed home and watched Basketball Wives for all this. So needless to say, she was not in support of the ministry itself, but she was in support of Mother Doreen.

  “Look,” Sister Perrin started, “some of us may not be in support of the Singles’ Ministry itself, but I believe we’ve all just made it clear that we support Mother Doreen. We know our sister in Christ to be a woman who clearly hears from the Lord. So if God gave her this vision ...” Sister Perrin looked at Margie, “... and if Pastor believed in the vision enough to allow it to get off the ground in the first place, then I say the same way we serve a God of second chances, then perhaps we should give the ministry a second chance as well.”

  Surprisingly, there were hand claps in support of Sister Perrin’s statement. She smiled proudly.

  “Wow, Sister Perrin,” Margie stated, “I’m going to have to get you to speak during women’s month.” Next, she turned to face Mother Doreen. “Well, Mother Doreen, it sounds like the board is in favor of the Singles’ Ministry’s reinstatement.”

  “Yes, thank you, Jesus,” Mother Doreen responded, raising holy hands.

  “Then I guess this is just confirmation of what God already told me,” Margie stated. “Because I’d already made up my mind that I would reinstate the ministry; well, God made up my mind for me. I was just hoping for the support of the board as well.”

  “Thank you, Pastor,” Mother Doreen said smiling broadly. “Your support means a lot to me.”

  “You’re welcome, Mother Doreen,” Margie smiled. “And please just let me know if there is anything you need from me.”

  “Well, actually, Pastor, there is that one other thing we discussed,” Mother Doreen reminded her pastor.

  Margie thought for a moment but came up empty. “I’m sorry, Mother Doreen. Will you enlighten me?”

  “Well, Pastor, not only did I come to you asking that you consider reinstating the Singles’ Ministry, but I also asked that you consider showing other members your support of the ministry by joining it yourself.”

  “Okay, now you’re pushing it,” Sister Perrin blurted out without thinking. “What would it look like having our pastor be a part of a group like that? She’ll seem desperate. It’s bad enough she’s single in the first place, but to be single and desperate on top of that.” Sister Perrin shook her head, adamantly against the idea of her pastor joining the Singles’ Ministry. “No way, Jose.”

  “Although I value your opinion, Sister Perrin,” Mother Doreen told her, “this is about Pastor and her opinion; what she wants to do.”

  Every eyeball in the room was honed in on Margie. “Well, I kind of didn’t take that one to the Lord, Mother Doreen,” she admitted. “But you already know how I feel about joining the ministry. I kind of agree with Sister Perrin.” Margie looked at Sister Perrin. “But that statement about it being bad enough that I’m single—I’m not quite sure I get that.”

  Now every eye in the room zoomed in on Sister Perrin for an explanation.

  “Well, uh, Pastor, I was just saying,” Sister Perrin stammered. “You know, congregation members talk all the time about your status as a single woman.”

  “Is that so?” This was news to Margie. “What exactly does the congregation say all the time about my status as a single woman?” she mocked.

  “Well, uh ...” Sister Perrin’s eyes darted from one board member to the next, begging someone to help her out. No one volunteered. She was on her own. “Well, that uh—and know that this ain’t me saying it—I’m just repeating some of the things I’ve heard.”

  “And what have you heard?” Margie inquired again.

  “Well, that perhaps you’re, you know, maybe one of those undercover ...” Sister Perrin cleared her throat. “... that you’re possibly gay. Some members say that even if you’re not gay, being single puts you in the same position that it does with some of the male pastors.”

  “And what position is that?” Margie probed.

  “Well, you know how some male pastors are tempted by their female congregation members. I guess some folks are afraid that by you being single, you’ll indulge in the same temptations with your male congregation members.”

  Now every eyeball rolled back in Margie’s direction. Mother Doreen and the board members were expecting some type of reaction from their pastor, but instead, all they got was a, “Humph, is that so?”

  “Yes, it is so,” the only male board member vouched. Heck, Sister Perrin had already said the worst parts. He couldn’t see how cosigning would hurt him any. “But even though some folks frown upon a single pastor, whether male or female, and they have no right to do so, I just don’t feel broadcasting that you are single by joining the Singles’ Ministry is a good idea, Pastor.”

  A thick sheet of silence floated across the room until Mother Doreen sliced through it with her voice. “Well, Pastor, again, I’m just going to ask you to pray on it.”

  “And I will, Mother Doreen,” Margie assured her. “In the meantime, I want you to pray about God’s agenda for the Singles’ Ministry. Put it in writing, and then at next month’s board meeting, have something to present to me. If we all agree that everything is decent and in order, then we’ll move on with determining a startup date for the Singles’ Ministry. How’s that sound?”

  “Sounds good to me,” Mother Doreen said, although she’d lost some of her enthusiasm. She was ready to dive back into the duties of the leader of the Singles’ Ministry right away. A month was too much idle time. She needed to keep busy now; right away. She needed some hands-on assignments to be involved in. As the saying went, idle hands were the devil’s playground. Well, hopefully, Mother Doreen had been doing a little warming up just in case, because the devil was ready to play. And it wasn’t going to be some friendly game of school yard dodge ball either. Nope ... the devil was ready to play hardball!

  Chapter Ten

  Paige sat in the courtroom next to Tamarra feeling all kinds of ways. She felt scared. She felt hurt. And then when she saw Blake being escorted into the courtroom, donned in jailhouse garb and wearing handcuffs, she felt guilty.

  “Oh my God,” she gasped at the sight of her husband. “He looks so ... so ...” Paige couldn’t even find the words to describe the man looking like a complete stranger in the courtroom. But then Tamarra reminded her that just a few nights ago, he’d also been a stranger in her bedroom; someone she didn’t know and had never met before. Because the man she married would not hav
e been doing those god-awful things to her.

  “He looks bad,” Tamarra finished Paige’s sentence in a whisper. “But not as bad as you looked with that busted-up lip and black eye he gave you.”

  The reminder stung Paige enough to shift the pity back to herself. “Yeah, you’re right about that.” Paige touched her eye. “Even with all this Mary Kay makeup that I bought from Sister Lorain months ago piled on my face, you can still see the bruises.” That’s why Paige had yet to return to work. Mentally, she wanted to get back to work to keep her mind off of the rape, but physically, she couldn’t do it. She worked with the public. All it would take was for one person to complain about her job performance and her job could be at stake. She’d worked too hard and put in too many hours to jeopardize her livelihood, especially since there was a chance it would soon be her only income.

  “Your Honor,” the bailiff started, bringing order to the court, “this is the case of the State of Ohio versus Blake Dickenson.”

  The judged flipped through a few papers, and then said to Blake, “Mr. Dickenson, you’ve been charged with assault and battery, rape and domestic violence. How do you plea?”

  “Dannnnnngggggg,” could be heard from someone sitting behind Paige and Tamarra. When they both turned around, there sat a young man approximately twenty-five sitting next to a girl about that same age. He wore a white T-shirt that was so big that it could have doubled for a dress had he been a female. “Dude ’bout to get some time,” he said to the girl sitting next to him. “’Cause remember that time I had to go upside your head when you was runnin’ off at the mouth? Shooooottttt, they wanted to give me like three years for that. Thank goodness you ain’t show up in court to testify against me, ’else I’d be dude’s cell mate.”

  Paige and Tamarra turned their attention back to the proceedings at hand. Even though Paige was trying to focus on what was going on, she just kept hearing the words from the young man behind her play over and over again in her head. Was it possible that the judge could lock up Blake and throw away the key? Could a man who’d once had it all now risk losing everything—and it all be Paige’s fault?