But when they reached the vast docking bay where she’d first realized what had happened, Baird gave her a long, tight hug and then stepped back. “Good bye, Lilenta.”
“No!” She clutched at his arm. “You have to come with me—you can’t stay here.”
“One of us has to.” He cupped her cheek gently. “Even if it was possible to get away with half the Scourge forces on our tail, a warrior honors his commitments. I swore to abide by the rules of krik-ka`re.”
“You shouldn’t have come.” Liv could feel the tears welling in her eyes though she tried to blink them back. “You shouldn’t have traded yourself for me. Not after what I did.”
“You didn’t know that using the Think-me would break our contract. And even if you did, I still would have come.”
“But why?”
“Because I love you, Lilenta. There is no life for me without you.” He leaned down to kiss her one more time and Liv felt the familiar flare of heat at the brush of his mouth against hers. “Don’t forget me.”
“Never.” She spoke the promise through numb lips and then Sylvan was there at her elbow, leading her away to a waiting shuttle.
“Take care of her, Brother. I charge you with her well being. See her safely back to Earth.” Baird gave his brother a significant look.
“I’ll see to Olivia—you take care of yourself. I’ll be back for you in three days. Just three days,” Sylvan told him. “Stay strong, Brother.”
Baird lifted his chin defiantly. “I will.”
“This is all very touching but the magnetic field has been disabled already for your female’s departure. It will not remain inactive forever.” Xairn nodded at the shuttle.
Baird nodded briefly. “I’m ready. Do your worst.”
“Baird, no!” Liv felt like someone was ripping her heart out of her chest. She tried to run back to him but Sylvan’s grip on her arm was unbreakable.
“Come, Olivia,” he murmured, tugging her toward the shuttle. “We have very little time. Don’t let Baird’s sacrifice be in vain.”
“But…but I don’t want him to sacrifice himself for me.” She was beginning to cry now, unable to help herself. “Please, I don’t want this.”
“But he wants it,” Sylvan said gently. “He needs it. Needs to assure himself of your safety. You must be brave for him—stay strong as he is doing for you.”
Olivia looked over her shoulder at Baird again as Sylvan folded her gently into shuttle’s the cockpit. He was standing straight and tall, his shoulders thrown back, his eyes blazing. There was no reluctance or fear in his posture, no regret in his stance. Only strength and determination. And love. He’s doing this because he loves me. Even though I resisted him. Even though I never… “Oh God, I never told him I loved him! Sylvan, please—please, I have to go back.”
“I’m afraid it’s too late.” Sylvan nodded at the guards who were leading Baird away. “We need to get out of here, Olivia. The Scourge have a twisted kind of honor but I wouldn’t want to trust it too far. If I fail to get you safely back to Earth, Baird’s sacrifice will have been for nothing.”
“Fine.” Liv blotted her eyes on the sleeve of Baird’s shirt, inhaling his warm, spicy scent and trying not to cry again. “But I’m not going back to Earth.”
Sylvan raised his eyebrows. “Oh? And where do you think you’re going?”
“Back with you—to the ship.”
“But you can’t—”
“I can and I will.” Baird was gone now, his broad back and shoulders disappearing into the gloom of the Scourge ship. Liv tore her eyes from where he had been and looked back at Sylvan. “I heard what they said—this krick-krack thing—”
“Krik-ka`re.”
“Right, whatever. Anyway, it only lasts three days and afterwards Baird is coming home. I want to be there to meet him when he does.”
“Olivia…” Sylvan’s tone was quiet and gentle. “What comes back to us will look like Baird but it won’t really be him. It will be a shell—empty…broken.”
“If he’s broken then I’ll fix him.” Liv crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.
“You can’t.” Sylvan’s normally impassive blue eyes were sad as he piloted the ship up and out to the air lock. “No one can.”
“Well I’ve got to try, at least!” Liv burst out. “Look, Sylvan—I’ve been a complete idiot up until now and it took having that…that thing rifling through my head to make me see clearly. I used my family and my career as an excuse—as a shield—because I was afraid.” She looked down at her hands—only her fingertips were visible past the long sleeves of the crimson uniform shirt. “I…I love Baird and I think I have for a long time. I just wouldn’t let myself see it until…” She shook her head, unable to say what they were both doubtless thinking. Until it was too late.
But it can’t be too late. I won’t let it be, Liv told herself fiercely. She clenched her hands into fists. He held out for six months before. He can do three days with no problem. Except this time he would have no shields. Liv couldn’t imagine letting the monstrous AllFather into your brain with no resistance. Just the thought made her skin crawl. And he did that for me. He’s doing it right now because he loves me. Even though he has no idea I love him back.
That made her want to cry again but she resisted the urge. She would stay as strong as Baird, would hold out and wait for him and in the end they would be together again. She believed that with all her heart.
I have to believe it. If I don’t, I’ll go crazy. She stared into the bleak vastness of space as Sylvan engaged the drive that would take them back to the Kindred ship. Somehow she would get through these three days without Baird and when he came back she would glue the pieces back together. No matter what she had to do, she was going to fix him.
* * *
“Ssso, your female is sssafely on her way.” The eyes of the AllFather glowed like coals, filled with an evil hunger that Baird had seen before.
“Yes.” He lifted his chin, refusing to look away. Less than a month before he’d sworn to himself that he would die before letting himself fall prisoner to the Scourge again. But things were different now. Worth it. No matter how bad the pain gets it’s worth it to know she’s safe. Gods, Olivia, love you so much…
“Your bravery isss most inspiring,” the AllFather hissed and Baird had an idea that there was a cruel smile hidden somewhere in the recesses of that black shadowy cloak—if the AllFather had a face and a mouth to smile with, that was. “I ssshall enjoy ssstripping it away, along with everything else.”
Baird gave him a steady stare. “Do your worst.”
“Oh, I will, Warrior. I will. Before I am done you will beg for death—but no sssuch release ssshall be granted you.”
Fear clawed at him but he refused to give in to it. “Like I said, do your worst.”
“And as I sssaid, I ssshall. And when I am finished, you will do your worst also—against your own kind.”
“What…” Baird cleared his throat. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“I like you, Warrior.” The AllFather made a dry hissing sound that might have been laughter. “I think I’ll keep you. Your abilities as a pilot will be very useful to me.”
Baird narrowed his eyes. “Forget it. I’ll never fly for you.”
“Oh, but you will. And very sssoon too. How do you like the idea of flying the vessel that attacks your brethren? Of firing the ssshots that wound and kill your comrades in arms?”
“Never. You can’t make me!” But Baird had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.
“Not without proper conditioning, of course.” The dry, hissing laughter again. “We must begin at once. After all, it takes time to ssstrip a mind completely. Essspecially one as ssstrong as yoursss.”
Twenty-Two
Liv was afraid that the three days until Baird’s return would drag horribly, filled with worry and guilt until the need to see him again drove her crazy. The suite seemed so empty without him. Th
e bed and bathing pool were both too big and even Bebo seemed downright mournful. Liv was glad that Baird had shown her where the little animal’s special food was kept because she didn’t want him to start thinking her toes looked like a good snack. But the second time he came snuffling around the living area where she was sitting on the couch—not on the live blanket which was folded and pushed out of the way—Liv started to have an idea of what was wrong.
“Here Bebo. Here boy,” she said softly, holding out her hand. It was the morning after Sylvan had brought her back from the Scourge ship and she’d barely slept a wink. All she could do was lie in the darkness and stare at the shadowy ceiling, thinking of Baird and what he was going through. She tried reaching out to him with her mind, hoping against hope that he could feel her love for him but she felt nothing in return and they shared no dreams in the few moments she managed to sleep. It seemed that whatever connection they’d once shared it was broken.
She missed having his arms around her, missed hearing his deep, rumbling laugh and feeling his warmth beside her at night. She knew now she would give anything to have him back. To have a second chance to love him and tell him she wanted to be with him forever. I’ll get a second chance, she told herself firmly. But the pitying look that Sylvan had given her when she had declared her intention to wait for Baird told her everything she needed to know.
“Bebo,” she called again, trying to push away the negative thoughts. “Here, boy.”
Slowly, reluctantly, the little zithcher made his way over to where she was sitting. After their first disastrous meeting they had called an uneasy truce but this was the first time Liv had ever actually tried to make friends with him. I didn’t like him and not just because he scared me. It was because he was alien, strange, frightening. Like the idea of giving up everything I knew to stay here with Baird. Carefully she reached out a hand and scratched the little teddy bear creature between his ears, just as she’d seen Baird do. Bebo’s bright blue fur was feathery and soft and after a moment he closed his large eyes and began to make contented humming sounds in the back of his throat.
“You’re not such a scary guy after all, are you?” Liv murmured, still scratching. “I’m sorry I didn’t take the time to get to know you before…when Baird was here.”
At the mention of his master’s name, the little animal opened his eyes and made a mournful questioning sound.
“I know.” Liv felt tears rise to her eyes again. “I miss him too. But he’ll be back. And then…then…well, I don’t know how I’ll help him but I will. I swear I will.” To her surprise, Bebo climbed up in the couch and then, with an inquiring look as if to make sure he was welcome, into her lap. Liv stroked him, letting her tears drop on his soft fur. Like everything else about the Kindred way of life, she’d refused to see the good in Baird’s pet until it was too late. Too late…too late…
A sudden rapping at the door to the suite startled her out of her mournful reverie. Carefully, she put Bebo back down on the floor and went to the door, dusting his feathery blue fur off her fingers. She really hoped it wasn’t Jillian—gossiping and girl talk were about the last thing she needed right now.
Her heart started pounding when she saw Sylvan standing there. “What?” she blurted. “Is it Baird? But it hasn’t been three days yet. I don’t—”
“That is not the reason I am here.” Sylvan looked mildly troubled which was as close to really upset as a cool and collected Tranq Kindred could get. He frowned at Liv. “You are some kind of medic on Earth, correct?”
“I’m a nurse, yes. Why?”
“There was a raid on the station we have on the far side of your moon and the influx of wounded is staggering. We need every pair of trained hands we can get.”
“I want to help but I don’t know anything about your medical technology,” Liv reminded him. “Or what kind of meds the Kindred can use. Or—”
“You can help with the triage at least and I’ll do my best to answer any questions as we go. Come on.” Sylvan grabbed her hand.
“Wait!” Liv looked at him fearfully. “How is this going to affect Baird? Will…will the Scourge still give him back?”
Sylvan looked grim. “I’m sorry Olivia but I don’t know. There’s nothing we can do for him now, though. We have wounded to care for and the longer we wait the more will die. Will you help me?”
Liv felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice cubes into her belly but she nodded anyway. “I’ll do my best even though I don’t know your techniques.”
“You can consider this on the job training.” Sylvan pulled her out the door.
* * *
So began the most frantic two days of Liv’s life. It was like nursing school all over again but in fast forward and there was no room for mistakes. Previously she’d only seen the leisure side of the Kindred ship. Now she saw the business side and their main business was war. The large med station where Sylvan had her working was constantly busy, the flow of patients in and out as steady as clockwork.
Liv was run off her feet as she assisted in various operations and learned the alien medical technology. Luckily, the Kindred anatomy was basically humanoid so it wasn’t like she was starting from scratch. And she was doing what she loved best—helping to save lives. If it hadn’t been for the constant worry at the back of her head for Baird, she would have been completely content. But no matter how busy she got or how frantic the pace, she couldn’t forget—didn’t want to forget—what he was going through and that she might not ever see him again. Still, she was grateful for the distraction. Even with Bebo to keep her company she knew she would have gone crazy cooped up in the suite with nothing to do but agonize over the situation.
It was at the end of the second day, or maybe the wee hours of the third, Liv had lost count, that a new patient was pushed in front of her. Or maybe floated was a better word since the Kindred used anti-grav technology in their stretchers.
“Gotta live one but he’s non-responsive,” the transport tech, who happened to be a Tranq, barked.
“Injuries?” Liv asked briskly, looking down at the new view-chart bracelet she was priming. Once she put it on him it would document all his treatment and meds automatically. It was one piece of technology she wished she could take back to Earth because it completely eliminated any confusion as to what had been done to the patient and when.
The tech shrugged. “None that we can see, actually, but as I said, he’s completely out of it. Word is he piloted a bunch of wounded here in a stolen Scourge ship and then blacked out.”
“He did, did h—” Liv lost her power of speech abruptly when she finally glanced up and got a look at her new patient’s face. Suddenly everything seemed to swim before her eyes and she felt weak. She stumbled and almost fell, only catching herself at the last minute by grabbing the edge of the floating stretcher. It can’t be him. What is he doing here?
“Hey, are you all right?” The transport tech came around the stretcher to take her arm. “I see you in here every time I come. How long have you been on your feet? You must be exhausted.”
She waved him off. “No, it’s not that. I just…” Is it really him? What if I’m so tired I’m hallucinating because I want to see him so much? The male on the stretcher certainly looked like Baird but when she leaned down close to him, she couldn’t smell the warm, spicy scent she’d come to associate with him. And though his eyes were open they weren’t the brilliant gold she remembered—more of a tarnished brass. Was it really Baird or another Beast Kindred who just looked like him? Liv hadn’t realized how much she depended on his scent to recognize him and as exhausted as she was, she didn’t feel like she could trust her eyes alone. She needed a second opinion. “Tech, I need Commander Sylvan here to look at this patient now.” she said, looking up from her examination.
The tech caught the urgency in her tone and went looking for Sylvan at once. He soon returned, dragging him by the arm.
“What’s this about? I was in the middle of a very delicate—
Baird!” Sylvan leaned over his half brother’s supine form, his eyes wide with surprise. “How did he get here?”
Liv repeated the transport tech’s story about Baird piloting a stolen ship and then collapsing. “Do you think he’s just in shock?” she asked hopefully.
“I don’t know.” Sylvan leaned down to shine a thin beam of light into Baird’s eyes. “The pupils are responsive but he doesn’t seem to be seeing me.” He looked up at the tech. “You’re sure about what you heard? He actually piloted a ship?”
The tech nodded. “Sure. Some of the other guys said they couldn’t have escaped without him—none of them knew how to fly but him.” He nodded at the silent Baird.
“That’s good, right?” Liv asked anxiously. “I mean, that’s great! He shouldn’t have been able to do that after what the…after what he went through. So he must be still all right—still in there, somewhere.”
“Maybe.” Sylvan looked skeptical. “I’ve never known anyone to withstand a Scourge krik-ka`re. But if anyone is strong enough, it would be Baird. Still…” He broke off shaking his head.
“Still what? What?” Liv demanded.
“He might have been acting on autopilot so to speak. I mean, flying a ship is so ingrained in him that he might not need the parts of his personality that make him the male we know in order to do it.” Sylvan sighed. “I’m sorry, Olivia—I just don’t know.”
“Well I do.” Liv leaned over the stretcher, staring earnestly into the tarnished brass eyes. It seemed as though Baird’s gaze focused on her but she couldn’t be sure. “Baird,” she said softly, stroking his cheek. “Baird, it’s me—your Lilenta. Come back to me—I miss you.” Was there a flicker of recognition in the depths of his eyes? Liv wasn’t sure but it was enough to make her hope.
“Olivia—” Sylvan began but she didn’t want to hear it.
Brides of the Kindred Volume One: Books 1-4 Page 33