Forever with Me

by Trilina Pucci

  “Freeze. Don’t you fucking move back, scoot your gorgeous ass to the end of this bed and spread your legs. NOW!” he commands as he yanks open his fly and removes his pants. He grabs himself and pulls long strokes as he approaches me. Without stopping, he takes his left hand and grips around my waist, pulling my hips off the bed and thrusts inside of me in one motion.

  “Ahhhhh,” is all I can yell out, my body feels like it’s exploding and I can honestly say this is the closest I have ever been to an out of body experience. We stay like that for what feels like an eternity and then he begins to move punishingly slow and sensual. Every receptor in my body is lit like a Christmas tree.

  Cole makes love to me that way through the morning, and each time I’m caressed, cared for and worshipped. When we finally sleep, I dream of our life together and our babies, it’s the kind of dream that makes you keep your eyes closed long after you’ve woken.

  Waking, I realize that we’ve slept through the afternoon into the evening. Padding into the living room, I grab the delivered lunch. Thank God for concierge! I bring it back into the bedroom. Nudging Cole, I wake him gently, “Baby, you should wake up and eat.”

  “No, I want to sleep,” he pouts grumpily, rolling over and putting the pillow over his head.

  “Stop being adorable and wake the fuck up.”

  “If I open my eyes, Mia, those noodles aren’t the only thing that I am eating.”

  “Oh, my God! Cole, if you think threatening me with oral sex is a deterrent, then you really don’t know how amazing you are at it. Get up!”

  With an exaggerated groan, he opens his eyes and smiles dreamily. Wrapping both arms around my waist, he pulls me close to him and buries his face in my lap and mumbles, “food smells great.”

  I laugh and smack his back, “Eat this, you fool.” Playfully handing him the container of Lo-Mein we ordered earlier.

  Cole and I sit in bed enjoying our food and chatting about how jail is not as romantic as any of the television shows we watch. After finishing our meal, he lives up to his promise and makes me his dessert. Holding me tight we fall into our second slumber of the harrowing day. I don’t think he could have held me closer to him and I was happy for it. The reality of having him taken away from me has only cemented me to him more.

  Sitting at the island in the kitchen, I sip my coffee with a satisfied grin. Cole nuzzles my neck and kisses it, sending a delicious chill down my spine.

  “Thank you,” he winks with a smile and licks his lips.

  “Mmmm, anything for my gorgeous husband,” I reply sexily. I was more than happy to wake him up this morning with a reminder as to why women should always be on top. Reaching for me, he pulls me off my stool and flush to his body while he nips, sucks and kisses my neck more.

  “Cole!” I giggle.

  “What?” he asks lazily. “You taste incredible.”

  A loud throat clearing accompanied by a sound of disgust catches our joint attention. Cole grumbles something into my neck and releases me. Laughing, I turn and see Foster standing uncomfortably next to Alex, who is smiling, big and bright. A little too bright for her normal demeanor.

  “So, are you trying to traumatize us?” Alex motions back and forth between her and Foster. “Or are you just trying to make up for lost time? I hear time in the big house can be super hard on a relationship.”

  “Alex!” I yell, suppressing my smile. It was only an evening, but her humor could go south.

  “Fuck you, Alex, did you bring coffee? Mia always massacres it.”

  What! These two are treacherous friends and I’m glad they are both on my side. I jump off my stool and slap Cole’s arm and point my finger at him to let him know I heard him and he will pay. He responds back with a wink as Alex puts the coffee in front of him. She walked past to hug me and to throw her stuff on the couch.

  “Hey, do you have my phone?” Alex asks, looking up and I draw my brows together wondering why she is asking me until I realize she is looking past me at a very embarrassed Foster. Um, what in the world? Cole must be just as interested as I am in the answer because he comes to stand by me and gawk at Foster.

  We turn and look at each other and he waggles his eyebrows, looking back at Foster, “Do tell, Foster. Do you have Alex’s phone? Was it left in the back of the car or at your place?”

  I giggle, my eyes big, leaning closer toward Foster listening for his answer.

  “Back of the car,” Foster spits out through gritted teeth as he holds the phone out toward Alex. Narrowing his eyes as Alex approaches, I notice a glint in his eyes and watch as his grimace becomes a full-blown smile when she reaches to take it from his hand.

  “Don’t worry, grump, I’m sure nobody will believe that we are sleeping together.”

  I’m going to have a heart attack!

  “Uh, what, Alex! Seriously, you are incorrigible,” he turns to Cole. “I’ll be downstairs if needed.” Shaking his head as he walks away.

  “Sure, no problem,” Cole sounds just as amused as I am from their exchange. “Text me if you come across any additional information regarding our conversation earlier.”

  Foster nods as he leaves.

  I look at Alex. “Spill!”

  “What? What do you mean?” She feigns innocence, touching her hand to her chest mimicking shock and awe.

  “Don’t you dare! Alex, spill! Are you sleeping with Foster?”

  She looks between me and Cole. I can tell she’s debating whether to tell us a juicy story.

  “He won’t care,” I smile, motioning to Cole. “You’re always saying that Foster is too tightly wound and he should get laid, right?” I ask, looking at Cole.

  “I couldn’t care less what he does in his spare time so long as he does his job. Alex, are you what he’s doing in his spare time?” He questions laughingly and I join him.

  “A lady does not speak of such things,” she answers.

  I pinch Cole before he can say what I know he’s going to say.

  “Ow! Damn, woman! I wasn’t going to call her a woman of the night!”

  I just shake my head as Alex tosses a napkin toward us. No matter how hard we try to pull it out of her, it seems that whatever is happening between them is going to remain between them. After chatting for a bit, Cole excuses himself to his office to make calls and dive into damage control, leaving Alex and I to sit and talk.

  “How are you holding up?” she asks, concern etched on her face.

  “I mean, I think pretty well. We seem to be a magnet for trouble,” adding more melodrama than needed.

  “Stop it, you know that isn’t true. You two are stronger together and you will weather this storm. I’m sure you could use a break, though.”

  “I just want to chill with my husband and do normal stuff. I hate that Carter has still found ways to hurt me, even from the grave.” I close my eyes feeling the weight solidly landing on my shoulders.

  Reaching out to take my hand, Alex nods understandingly. “I get it. I wish I could help.”

  “You are, just by hanging out with me. I’m also thankful that you were able to make light of all of this and allow Cole to laugh.”

  “No worries, he’s my homie.”

  “Homie? Seriously, you are such a nerd.”

  “Whatevs, I’m down with the kids!” Only she could use a Twilight reference for real life!

  At that, we start laughing, the kind of laughter you only share with your best friend. The kind where you are doubled over for absolutely no reason at all. Taking deep breaths to try and calm ourselves, I stand to get something to drink in the kitchen.

  “You want something?”

  “Nah, I’m good. You know what I was thinking about? Do you remember that night at the Sigma Chi House when we ran into Carter? You were so creeped out after that, I wish we would’ve known what a monster he was then, it would have saved us some serious trouble!”

  “I was thinking about that night today, actually. In school, I never really had too many instances
with him. I didn’t really know him. When we met at the party, I honestly didn’t remember him.”

  “Totally! I remember he was such an asshole in college. Every girl that I knew that dated him said he was a douchebag.” She shivers as if the memory grosses her out.

  “Well, I guess karma is a bitch.”

  Silenced stretched between us and I regretted my callousness, but I just couldn’t get past my hatred for him.

  “I’m sorry, that probably sounded callous and cruel.”

  “No, I wasn’t thinking about that, I was thinking about that dorky friend he had that was always following him around. Do you remember that guy? Horrible acne, kind of heavy, super socially awkward? He got a boner every time you walked into a room?”

  I stood in between the two rooms, shaking my head. “I don’t. I really don’t remember much of anything other than studying,” I laugh, but I’m still stumped.

  “Hmm, anyway. Coke, grab me a Coke, please.”

  “K,” was all I said as I walked into the kitchen.

  “So, did you guys work out a game plan with the lawyers?” Alex yells to me.

  “Yeah, I mean, they pretty much think the case will either be thrown out or be dropped, because apparently, it is only really being pushed because of Carter’s folks,” I yell back, rummaging through the fridge for snacks.

  “Yuck! That makes me sick, as if they could bury their head anymore!”

  “Right!” I nod, coming back into the room with a Coke and some grapes in hand. “I know they believe that he was ‘sick’ but he attacked me and I just can’t feel bad for him!”

  Alex sits, staring at me shaking her head with a small smile.

  “What?!” I ask, feeling self-conscious.

  “Nothing, it’s just weird to be having this conversation, I mean like a year ago, you tried to off yourself, Mia. Now, though, you have had a cavalcade of effed up situations happen and you seem so strong, so solid. I’m just happy, impressed and really grateful to have you back, babe!”

  I smile back at her, understanding exactly what she means. A year ago, I was broken, so broken and unable to see past my pain. Not really understanding why I felt so damn alone and fragile. I couldn’t have known it then, but I needed Cole like I need him now. I didn’t know I was missing a piece until I lost him, and the absence of that piece almost shattered my life. I am glad that I could crawl out of the abyss on my own, because I’m stronger for it. But needing Cole and wanting Cole are intertwined and equal.

  “I’m happy to be back,” is all I can muster, feeling overwhelmed by the moment. Really, it’s the only truth that is needed. So many people stood by me and helped me put myself back together, but I know that I’ve never been more together than I am now.

  “Welp, now that that is out of the way, I have Sunday errands to run. I would love to hang out all day, but it’s my only day off this week and I need to do a thousand things before I go back tomorrow.” With that, Alex stands and goes for her purse.

  “Call me tomorrow. Maybe lunch later this week?”

  “Totally!” She smiles and waves over her shoulder.

  “Tell Foster we say ‘hello.’” Cole smiles as he passes her, Alex’s wave turns to the bird. I giggle. Turning back around to Cole, he’s gone. Well, I guess more work beckons.

  We tried to pretend we were just hanging out at home for the afternoon, but we were both tense from being locked away in our tower, hiding from the flashing bulbs and reality. I couldn’t help but notice that Cole had been hidden away in his office for most of the day and while I didn’t have my interview until next week (or ever, now with all the publicity, I wouldn’t be surprised if they passed on me), I was starting to run out of windows to look out of. Fuck this, I needed to get out of this house. How hard could that be, right?

  “Hey!” I said, popping my head into Cole’s office only to be greeted by a grumble. “Come on, let’s escape. You have to be running out of people to yell at and I’m crawling up the walls. Last time I watched Law and Order, criminals are only restricted from leaving the country. Let’s call Foster and sneak away!” I smile, knowing I’ve made the best proposal.

  The crack of his palms on the desk makes me jump and my eyes grow wide.

  “Jokes aren’t welcome. Why are you making light of this, of everything? What the fuck, Mia!”

  Looking at him, I don’t even understand what the hell is happening. What could he be mad about? I’ve barely spoken to him since Alex left.

  “What the hell, Cole, why are you yelling at me?”

  “Forget it, sorry, whatever, just forget it.” Obviously, something is going on that he doesn’t want me to know, which just serves to light a serious fire under my bum.

  “No, no, no. You started this shit with all the pounding and yelling. Don’t backtrack and act like nothing is going on. This is just as much my problem as it is yours and last time I checked, Cole Parker, there aren’t any secrets between us, so spill.” Boom. I cross my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes at him.

  Shaking his head, he rubs his chin that has a sexable amount of stubble. He levels his eyes at me, “Here’s some truth, Mia. When were you going to tell me you tried to kill yourself? Never? In the future? I mean, you would think that a truth of that size would be something I would know.”

  Oh Jesus, realization dawns on me that we have never had that conversation and he must have heard Alex and I talking. I uncross my arms and walk over to where he’s sitting and straddle his waist.

  “Cole,” I urge, putting my hands on the sides of his face. “Look at me, I’m fine. I guess it just didn’t come up because honestly I was just so caught up with how happy we are and I haven’t thought about that time in my life.”

  Grabbing my waist, he heaves me up and onto his desk and stands, backing away from me. Confused, I look at him, trying to look him in the eyes, all the while he avoids my face.

  “Cole. What are you doing? Let’s talk about this, let’s go somewhere and hide away and really talk about this.”

  “No. Foster will be here in five minutes, pack what you need and go with him. I can’t do this. I won’t.”

  Time literally feels like it’s stopping. “What are you talking about? You are what, exactly? Sending me away? Breaking up with me?” I yell as I jump off the desk and walk to get in his face.

  “I just need you safe, Mia, you don’t need this shit.

  None of it! It was my fault we went to the party in the first place. I’m the one who wanted to keep the wedding private because of a business deal that I wanted to close before my announcement. I was being a selfish ass and I ruined your whole life. And now, now I know that because of me, you almost took your life, too!” His voiced is laced with frantic energy and he wipes his hand through his hair with a look of panic. My instinct is to make him happy, to calm him. I can do that for him. I can give that to him, even if it breaks my heart. I mean we just started…

  “Okay. You’re right, I’ll go. Please Cole, please just calm down. You don’t need this stress. Will you call me later?”

  “Yes,” he breaths out, taking a long breath in. “I just need to know that I can make it all clean for you. I don’t ever want you to hate your life so much that you wouldn’t value it.”

  If ever I had an opportunity to make him understand, now was it. Slowly, I walk over to him, taking his hands and staring into his eyes. This was my home and I’ll be damned if his fear would cause us to separate.

  Considering my words carefully, I begin. “The day I did it was particularly difficult. I was struggling with just assimilating back into my life. School was a disaster and graduation seemingly grim. My days seemed to run together and I had been tuning people out for months. The depression was evident, but being inside was different. I didn’t see the sorrow, I just welcomed the silence. I was so tired of talking about it, so tired of hearing the sympathy in everyone’s voices. Everyone just seemed to look at me with pitiful eyes and I honestly just felt like I would never be able t
o feel what it was like for someone to really see me again. Like me, the real me, deep inside. I was afraid I’d never be seen again. It felt worse than what I considered death would be like, so I took a handful of pills, immediately panicked and puked, called Alex… and lived. Even after all of it, I wasn’t truly alive until a year later, until you looked at me again. I’m only alive because of you, Cole, please don’t make me go back to living without you.”

  He just stands, looking into my eyes, looking into my soul.

  “You aren’t crying,” he cocks his head to the side as if he’s trying to figure me out.

  “Nope, because I’m not fragile, so long as I’m with you,” I grin up at him.

  “That sounds very anti-feminist,” he says. God, I love that sideways grin.

  “I know how much power I have, I know I could make it through anything alone, but together… Cole, together, we are limitless. I’m truly frightened by the depth of my love for you, but I’m more afraid to live without it.”

  “Mia.” His lips move in a whisper as he pulls me into his arms. We stay like that for what seems like eons while he whispers regrets and wishes into my lips, my neck and any other part of me he can kiss. I listen and accept it all, giving back as much as I get. This is our real moment, the moment of our commitment to each other. Absolutely no man can, or will, ever put asunder. Cole and I commit in that room to never separate. As crazy as is seems, amid all the dramatic situations surrounding us, we found our path.

  Pulling us from our bubble is the constant buzzing from Cole’s phone. Looking down, he tips his head to the side and puts the phone to his ear, never letting go of me.