The Cowboy's Christmas Blessings

by Jill Kemerer

  She hoped he wouldn’t mind eating with her. The past week had been on the lonely side. Her mom and Steve had driven out of Rendezvous right after Thanksgiving dinner. Gretchen Sable, Judd’s aunt, had stopped by on Saturday to chat and play with the babies. She’d taken one look at Nicole and insisted on organizing her retired friends from church to come in for a few hours each morning, starting tomorrow, to help with the triplets. Knowing someone would be there to help out for a while each day had taken a huge weight off her shoulders.

  Nicole found the salt and pepper shakers in the cupboard and brought them over to the table. Had Judd forgotten about their arrangement? She checked her phone—6:05 p.m. She’d wait five more minutes. If he wasn’t here by then, she’d text him.

  She’d been looking forward to this meal far more than she cared to admit.

  It was understandable, she supposed. Yesterday, Eden and Gabby had babysat for her so she could get groceries, but other than that, Nicole had been alone, and the lack of adult conversation was getting to her.

  Meeting the babies’ needs every day was like running a marathon. Poor Eli had a runny nose, making him cranky, and Amelia had fussed a lot, too. Nicole was surprised they weren’t crying now.

  Knock knock. Anticipation added a bounce to her step as she went to the door and let Judd inside. He shook his hat free of snow and stomped his boots before entering.

  “Come in. The food is on the table.” Funny how the sight of him chased away her exhaustion. It was going to be nice to have someone to share a meal with again.

  “Oh, uh...” Judd frowned as he stared at the dining area.

  “What?” He wasn’t backing out or anything, was he? His cheeks were ruddy from the cold. The crinkles around his eyes made him look mature, attractive. A sudden flush of warmth flooded her cheeks. Her reaction was unwelcome, confusing. She wasn’t used to being affected by a man.

  “I don’t want to bother you.” He stood rigidly with his hat in his hands. “I could take a plate home.”

  Why would he think he’d bother her? She was the one who’d offered to cook.

  “It’s no bother.” She waved him over to the table. “Sit down before it gets cold.”

  He shifted from one foot to the other, still clutching the rim of his hat. Please, please don’t leave. She held her breath. Maybe what he’d meant was that he was bothered at the thought of eating with her. Did she make him uncomfortable?

  One of the babies let out a cry. She went over to the trio in their seats. Eli was reaching for a stuffed rattle, so she placed it in his hand. His sweet little face melted her. She smoothed his forehead before sitting at the table.

  Moments later, Judd took off his coat, hung it on a hook on the wall and joined her.

  “You didn’t need to do all this on account of me.” He sat and scooted his chair closer to the table.

  “I love to cook. I’ve missed it.” She folded her hands. “Should we pray?”

  He nodded. After the table prayer, Nicole dished out the food and they both dug in.

  He carefully cut a piece of the country-fried steak and popped it into his mouth. “Mmm...this is good. Really good. Wow.”

  “I haven’t been in the kitchen much since Aaron died.” The gravy could use a little salt. She shook some on it and shoved the shaker his way. “Mom was nice enough to cook so I could take care of the babies. But now that they’re sleeping through the night, I have more energy.”

  He chewed slowly, then took a drink of water. The silence pinged her nerves.

  “In fact, it felt great to prepare the meal on my own today. Living with Mom and Stella was a bit chaotic.” Chaotic was an understatement. She’d tried to avoid their tiffs and Mom’s giddy attitude concerning Steve, but the close quarters had made it impossible. “Gabby and Eden babysat for me yesterday so I could get groceries. I think I bought out the store.” Was she babbling? Why wasn’t he saying anything? “How was your Thanksgiving, by the way?”

  “Good.” He seemed to be enjoying the food, at least.

  She wasn’t used to quiet meals. Aaron had always launched into a full and very detailed description of his day. And Stella and Mom either gossiped or argued their way through suppers. Nicole took a small bite of the mashed potatoes and peeked at him. “How did you celebrate it?”

  “I ate at Aunt Gretchen’s and came home to check on a few heifers.”

  “Are they okay?” She had no idea what a heifer was but figured it was some sort of cow.

  He nodded, adding more gravy to his potatoes. “A dose of penicillin cured one. The other was fine.”

  “How did you know something was wrong?” She pictured a cow lying on its side, moaning. To say she didn’t know much about ranching or cattle was an understatement.

  “Gut instinct.” His deep blue eyes met hers. “I watch them every day. I can tell when something’s off.”

  “What are the signs? I mean, is it obvious when one is sick?” Spending every minute with the triplets had honed her gut instincts, too. She could tell when something wasn’t quite right with the babies.

  “They weren’t eating as much. The one I gave the penicillin to had runny eyes.”

  Eli started to fuss, so she checked on him. His face was red and he looked ready to wail. She tried to detect what was wrong. Probably miserable from his cold. As Nicole looked around for his Binky, Amelia joined the fussing. Eli’s pacifier peeked out from behind his neck.

  “Here you go, sweetie,” she said, putting it back into his mouth. He quieted down, but Amelia got louder. Nicole tried giving her a pacifier, too, but her baby girl wasn’t having it. Nicole didn’t want Judd’s meal to be ruined by a crying child, so she took Amelia out of the seat and sat with her tucked in her arm.

  “Sorry about that.” Nicole glanced over at Henry and Eli. They were content—for the moment. “What were you saying?”

  He watched Amelia, his expression softening. “What are their names again?”

  “This snuggle bunny is Amelia, and the two peanuts down there are Henry and Eli.”

  “How are you managing?”

  “Good. Managing good.” It wasn’t a lie, not really. For some reason, she couldn’t bear for him to think she wasn’t capable. No one would call her supermom, but she was doing the best she could. Getting the babies on a schedule had been the smartest thing she’d ever done, but it still felt like she was barely treading water most days.

  Cooking tonight had been the first time she’d felt like herself in over a year.

  “Are you getting ready for Christmas?” She picked at the food on her plate. Why had she mentioned Christmas? The holiday held no joy for her. Not after last year. She’d spent half of December in the ICU with Aaron. She’d prayed night and day for God to save him when his condition declined, but on Christmas Day she’d returned to their apartment a widow.

  “Not yet.” The twinkle in his eyes made him look younger. “I’ll get a tree soon.”

  A tree. The corn turned to rubber in her mouth. Two of her bakery coworkers had taken down her Christmas decorations the day before the funeral. After they’d left, she’d thrown every box of decorations in the dumpster.

  “I want to get Aunt Gretchen something special this year,” he said. “But I’m not the best gift giver.”

  Good, a distraction. Coming up with a gift for Gretchen would get her mind back to the present, where it belonged.

  “I love your aunt. I can’t tell you how many casseroles she’s brought over or how many times she’s stopped by to spend a few hours with me and the triplets since they were born. She’s even organizing some of the church ladies to help me out weekday mornings.”

  “Sounds like Aunt Gretch.” His grin revealed the slight gap between his two front teeth. Nicole was used to seeing his serious side—although his eyes often glimmered with humor—but she hadn’t been prepared for his fu
ll-on smile. The man was gorgeous. He gestured to her. “Do you have any ideas?”

  “Well, what does she like?” She ignored the wound-up sensation in her chest.

  “Um...” He lifted his shoulder in a helpless shrug. “I’ve gotten her sweaters, candles and chocolates. I don’t want to do the same old thing. She’s done so much for me, and she’s getting older.”

  A man who cared for his aunt was a good man indeed. What could he get Gretchen that would be meaningful?

  “What about perfume? They have nice sets with lotion this time of year.”

  He shook his head. “Done it.”

  “She likes tea.” Nicole shifted Amelia to her other arm. “What about a gift basket?”

  “Lois and Ada from church usually get her one.”

  Eli let out a cry, startling Henry, who also began crying. Amelia, meanwhile, sat content as could be in her arms. Nicole quickly sized up the situation. She’d have to put Amelia back in the seat to take care of the boys. As she lowered the girl, Amelia stiffened and began to cry, too.

  Well, this was great. All three babies wailing at once.

  A tap on her arm made her turn.

  “I’ll take her. You handle the boys.” Judd held his hands out for Amelia, and Nicole froze. This man—this strong, quiet cowboy—was willing to help her with the babies?

  “You don’t mind?” She lifted Amelia to him.

  “Not at all.” He cradled the baby in his arms. Amelia quieted instantly and stared up at him in fascination. Nicole didn’t waste any time taking Henry out of his seat and, holding him tightly, picked up Eli, too. Then she sat again, with a boy in each arm. Henry quieted right down, but Eli let out a few half-hearted squawks before relaxing. Her little guys needed some cuddle time.

  Across the table, Judd was smiling so tenderly down at Amelia that Nicole fought sudden tears.

  Thoughts of Aaron pierced her heart. She had to do something before she made a fool of herself. “I’ll be right back.”

  Carrying the boys, she went to their room to put a lid on her emotions.

  What if Aaron had lived? Would he have been a good daddy? What would her life be like?

  It wouldn’t be surrounded with uncertainty the way it was now.

  But it didn’t mean it would be perfect.

  She refused to create some fantasy where if Aaron had lived her life would be free of trouble. She knew better. Life was messy with or without him.

  And Judd was patiently taking care of Amelia out in the dining room, so she’d better stop dwelling on the past and get out there before he thought she was taking advantage of him.

  Nicole set Henry in his crib so she could change Eli’s diaper. Then she switched babies and made sure both were clean and fresh. Sweeping up both boys in her arms, she kissed each of their foreheads as she made her way back to the table.

  Judd was talking in a low, melodious voice to Amelia, his captive audience. He glanced up as Nicole approached, and his eyes darkened into something appreciative. The way he stared at her was...new. Not even Aaron had looked at her like that. It made her feel feminine and capable. Interesting.

  “You make it look easy.” His gaze swept to the boys.

  “Yeah, right.” She shook her head. “This house runs on coffee and pacifiers.”

  “Well, we’d better keep you stocked up on both.”

  A vision of Judd bringing her coffee and pacifiers every day lightened her heart. She’d been putting one foot in front of the other for so long, she hadn’t had time to dwell on her performance as a mom. The fact Judd thought she was doing a good job meant a lot to her.

  He shifted as if he was preparing to leave, but she wasn’t ready for him to go. Not yet. How could she prolong his stay?

  “Speaking of coffee. Do you have time for a decaf?” Had she hidden the desperation in her tone? She didn’t want to be alone again so soon.

  He gulped, looking like a caged animal. Then he glanced down at Amelia. “I guess.”

  After setting the boys back in their seats, she rounded the counter to start the coffee. He needed a Christmas gift idea for Gretchen. She could think about that—it was safe. Scooping the coffee grounds into the filter, she reviewed his aunt’s tastes.

  Before the babies were born, Nicole had visited Gretchen a few times. A framed picture of a two-story Victorian house, complete with white porch railings and intricate moldings, was mounted on her entry wall. Gretchen had told her about the lovely home she’d grown up in and how much she missed it.

  “Hey, Judd?” Nicole turned to face the dining area. A row of cabinets separated her from the table.

  “Yeah?”

  “I might have the perfect gift for your aunt.”

  “What is it?”

  “You know the Victorian house she grew up in?”

  “I do. I see it every time I go over there.” Amelia’s hand was wrapped around his finger. Once more, Nicole’s heart squeezed. He continued. “She has fond memories of her childhood.”

  “What if we made her a gingerbread house?”

  Confusion clouded his features. “What do you mean?”

  “A replica of her childhood home.” She filled the carafe with water and turned the machine on. Visions of drawing up plans for the house, baking the structure, assembling it and decorating it danced in her mind. For years her favorite part of November had been creating gingerbread houses for the bakery’s store window. Her boss, Delia Roth, had insisted on making elaborate scenes to bring holiday cheer to the community. Delia had shown Nicole all her secrets and had given her more responsibility as time went on.

  Yes, making a gingerbread house was one blast from her past she didn’t need to push away. She would truly enjoy making the house for Judd’s sweet aunt. If he’d let her.

  * * *

  “I don’t think so.” He shook his head. This evening had not gone as he’d expected, starting when he’d arrived. Instead of a wrapped plate with a here you go, she’d invited him in to the very picture of domesticity. Then she’d gone and served him the most delicious meal he’d eaten in a long time, including Thanksgiving dinner.

  Now here he was, a baby in his arms, watching beautiful Nicole Taylor pull mugs out of the cupboard as if he belonged here. He never should have agreed to coffee. Or to stay for dinner. And why in Wyoming had he picked up the baby?

  He checked Amelia, so warm and content in his arms. Holding her was sweeter than a fudge cake with chocolate frosting. He’d better not get used to it.

  “You don’t think it’s a good idea.” She turned to grab a carton of creamer out of the fridge.

  “It’s not that.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I’m no baker.”

  “Well, I am.” She rounded the counter and came over to set the cream and a bowl of sugar on the table. “I worked at a bakery after I got married. I loved it. I’m a certified baker and certified decorator.”

  “Uh...” He rubbed his chin. What now? He couldn’t ask her to make a gingerbread house. He had no idea how she was keeping up with three babies as it was. Her confidence in holding two babies at the same time was still blowing his mind. “I want the gift to come from me.”

  “It will,” she said. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from her big smile. “I’ll help you.”

  Help him? He could not spend even more time with her. “You’ve got your hands full.”

  “You do, too.” Her teasing tone relaxed the tension in his neck. His hands were full at the moment, in the best possible way. Amelia was precious. Who knew holding a baby could feel so nice?

  Nicole cocked her head to the side. “You helped me out. Let me help you.”

  Ahh...this was her way of repaying him for the cabin. She brought two steaming mugs of coffee to the table and set one in front of him before returning to her seat.

 
“Want me to take her?” she asked.

  He didn’t, but he also didn’t trust himself to drink a hot beverage while the little girl was in his arms, so he nodded. Nicole came over and took the baby from him. His eyes locked on her bare hands.

  No ring.

  His brain could not travel this road. She was a grieving widow. With three infants. Living on his property. And so much younger than him. Where was his head at?

  She gave Amelia a pacifier and placed her into the seat next to the boys. “If you get a copy of the photo for me, I can sketch the house’s dimensions and come up with a plan for the structure.” Her face glowed as she talked. Man, she was pretty.

  He pictured a replica of Aunt Gretchen’s childhood home. His aunt would love it. No, she’d more than love it. She’d probably blubber for an hour at his thoughtfulness.

  The gift would be special. Meaningful.

  Maybe he should take Nicole up on her offer.

  But he was already locked in to eating supper with the beautiful mom four nights a week.

  Could he handle all this together time?

  He’d been a bachelor his entire life. This eating together and talking about their day and having coffee and holding babies? It was all new. Foreign.

  And tempting.

  He glanced at Nicole, who had a dreamy expression on her face as she sipped her coffee.

  Maybe he was making a big deal out of nothing. If he agreed to make this gingerbread house with her, it would only be a day of his life. No harm could come from that, right?

  “Okay, I’m in.”

  * * *

  “Really?” Nicole set down the mug, her insides all aglow. “This is going to be so great. I’ll get the plans going, and we’ll bake the walls and roof first. Let me know what days would be good for you. Then I’ll pipe the decorative details on the house before we assemble it. It will have to firm up before we decorate it with the candies and such. Oh, and I know just the ones to make the house beautiful. I think we should go with a pale-pink-and-mint-green theme. Gretchen will love it.”

  She wished she had a pad of paper to write down her thoughts. Her notepads were in one of the boxes stacked against the wall. She knew herself, though—once an idea about a gingerbread house gelled, it would stay in her mind.