by Jill Kemerer
Amelia started crying from her bouncy seat near the dining table, so Nicole picked her up and carried her over to the other boxes.
“That’s the last of them.” Judd set the final two on the floor, took off his coat and boots and joined her. He held out his index finger to Amelia, and she wrapped her tiny hand around it. She was still fussy, but at least she wasn’t crying.
Judd’s cheeks were red from the cold. There was an air of vigor and strength about the man that was way too appealing. Amelia held up her little arms for him to take her. Her baby girl sure liked Judd. It was hard not to.
With the scissors, Nicole opened the next box. “Oh, good!” She took out plastic baggies filled with candies shaped like silver stars, flat sugar discs and itty-bitty snowflake sprinkles. “We can add these to the house after we put it together next week.”
“I thought we were putting it together this Saturday.” He frowned.
“My in-laws will be here. If we attach the walls and roof on Monday and Tuesday, we can add the final decorations on Wednesday. Since Christmas Eve is Thursday, I figure you’ll want it ready before then.”
“Right.”
She opened the other boxes. Thankfully, the baking supplies and containers hadn’t been damaged. She lifted them out. “Just what I needed.”
“You sure you aren’t working too hard?”
“I’m glad to be working at all. It’s scary not having an income. It’s not that I’m broke, but—” she shrugged, dusting off her knees as she stood “—I’m in charge now, and I don’t have anyone to fall back on.”
“You have me.” He flushed. “And your friends.”
“I know, and I’m thankful. But it’s not the same as when Aaron was alive.” She was glad she’d been frugal as his salary had grown. She’d never gotten used to having many extras. “Well, supper’s ready. Let’s eat.”
They went to the table and sat down. The boys were kicking their legs in their bouncy seats and letting out little grunts. Her sweet boys.
Judd still held Amelia. He was talking to her in his low cowboy voice, and the baby stared at him with her mouth in an O. The sight was so dear, Nicole had to look away. Her children deserved to have a daddy who would love them.
A daddy? Where was her head at?
“Want me to say grace?” he asked. She nodded.
After the prayer, she bit into her baked chicken with too much force. Her in-laws were on their way into town tomorrow. She wasn’t sure how she’d handle seeing them.
Would Lance and Sherry treat her the way they always had? Would they accept her decision to do home baking and live out here in this cabin instead of in town? They’d always been supportive. But that was when Aaron had been alive. How would they react to her new life?
For a split second she didn’t want them to come. They were bound to remind her of everything she’d lost.
She washed down the bite of chicken with a drink of water.
Ready or not, she’d survive the visit. Then she’d only have one more big worry. Getting through Christmas.
She wished she could close her eyes and wake up to the day after Christmas. She’d never looked forward to getting through the holidays as much as she did this one. If she could make it through the one-year anniversary of Aaron’s death, she could make it through anything. Even her inconvenient feelings for Judd.
Chapter Ten
“You’re really tucked back here, aren’t you? We didn’t realize you were living so far out of town.” Sherry Taylor entered the cabin Saturday at noon, unwound her scarf and took off her coat. Aaron’s mother was a petite, trim woman with short brown hair and stylish clothes. Aaron’s father, Lance, was tall and fit with receding gray hair and sharp blue eyes. He hung up their coats and escorted Sherry to the living room, where she stopped in her tracks. “Wait—where’s your Christmas tree? You love Christmas. You always decorated Thanksgiving weekend.”
Nicole didn’t know what to say. It was true she’d always loved Christmas and decorated early. But everything felt different this year. Including seeing her in-laws.
“My hands have been full,” she said lightly. “Decorating hasn’t been on my mind.”
After a flight delay, Lance and Sherry had arrived in town late last night and called Nicole with their regrets that they’d have to wait until now to see her and the babies. They’d previously arranged to have breakfast with friends or they would have been here bright and early. It had given Nicole more time to finish unpacking the few remaining boxes. The cabin finally looked like home. She was proud of it.
“I like your place.” Lance stepped back and surveyed the room. “It seems up-to-date. Safe.”
“And cozy.” Sherry smiled when she glimpsed the babies in their bouncy seats. “Ah, there are my sweethearts. Nana has missed you so much.” She knelt to pick up Eli. “See, Lance, he looks just like Aaron as a baby.”
Sherry rose, holding Eli, and sidled up next to her husband. Sadness flashed in his eyes. “He sure does. This is Eli, right?”
“Yes,” Nicole said, trying to ignore the sudden pressure in her chest. “Henry’s hair is darker.”
Feeling oddly protective of Henry, Nicole scooped him up and joined them. Lance held out his hands to take the boy, and she felt a little better. She picked up Amelia while they talked in baby voices to the boys. It would have been comical if Nicole wasn’t so nervous.
After a few minutes, they all sat down. Sherry still cuddled Eli, Lance pretended to fly Henry while making airplane noises and Nicole kept Amelia on her lap.
“How are you doing? It’s got to be tough with your mom no longer around.” Sherry’s gray eyes gleamed with sympathy. “I’m sorry you’ve had to move and deal with all of this on your own.”
“I’m doing okay.” Nicole glanced at both of them, hoping they’d see a confident young mother. “I’ve had a lot of help.”
Sherry’s lips pursed and a slight frown marred her forehead. “Yes, we heard Judd Wilson has been quite attentive.”
What did she mean by attentive? The way she said it made it sound like an accusation. Nicole stiffened.
“We passed his house on the way in.” Lance kept his focus on Henry. “It’s big. Not sure why one guy needs that much space. Do you spend much time there?”
What were they implying?
“No, I don’t,” Nicole said. “I kind of have my hands full here with the triplets all the time.”
But she did have supper with him most nights. Was that bad?
“Oh, we know,” Sherry assured her. “It surprised us, I guess, to hear he’s taking you to church and that you went to the festival together.”
“There’s no reason for us both to drive into town on Sundays.” Nicole tried to melt the ice in her tone without quite succeeding. “And I baked cupcakes for the festival’s bake sale.”
“Right.” Lance nodded. “We want to make sure you aren’t rushing into anything.”
“Rushing? Well, the bake sales have been sudden, but I’m managing fine.”
“We meant with Judd,” Sherry said.
Nicole couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this mortified. What had the people of Rendezvous been telling her in-laws about her and Judd? Probably that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree as far as Nicole and her mother were concerned.
“I’m sure it’s all innocent.” Sherry scrunched her nose at Eli. “We know how devoted you were to Aaron. Maybe Judd has the wrong idea. It’s not your fault.”
“He doesn’t have the wrong idea. He’s been very kind to me.” She wanted to tell them he refused to take rent and that he was the reason she finally felt like she had a chance at making it on her own. But they might read the worst into it, and Judd didn’t deserve that. “I think maybe you’re the ones who have the wrong idea.”
Sherry’s face noticeably pinched as she gave L
ance a sidelong glance. “We know how difficult it is to be raising three babies on your own. Isn’t baking on top of that too much?”
“I enjoy baking.” Nicole shifted Amelia to her other arm. “Some of the ladies from church have been taking turns coming in for a few hours every weekday morning. It’s been great, so there’s no need to worry about me.” She needed to change the subject—and fast. “How is everyone? Alyssa’s pregnant again, right? How are Jaycee, Tom and their little ones doing? Fill me in.”
“They’re all good. Alyssa still has a few months to go before the baby’s due. Jaycee’s kiddos keep us really busy since she’s been on crutches. Of course, we’re all having a hard time picturing Christmas without Aaron.”
“I am, too,” Nicole said quietly. Now that she had so much help, it was getting easier to think about the holidays, but she couldn’t remember the last Christmas she hadn’t celebrated with Aaron. Even when they were younger, she’d spent part of the day with his family. This year would be completely new.
“It’s going to be hard on all of us.” Sherry’s voice cracked. “I hope it’s okay we’re having the babies’ presents shipped here. We couldn’t fit them in our suitcases.”
“Whatever is easiest. It’s kind of you.”
Lance cleared his throat. “We thought we could order a pizza tonight, if that’s all right with you.”
“I’m always up for pizza.” Nicole tried to lighten the somber mood with her cheeriest tone, but it didn’t quite work.
“So what are you doing about a Christmas tree?” Sherry asked.
She gulped. She was doing nothing about a Christmas tree. “Oh, I don’t need one.”
“Everyone needs a Christmas tree. I know it’s hard this year, but celebrating the holidays will get easier with time.” Sherry tsk-tsked. “Lance, why don’t you pick up an artificial tree in town when you get the pizza later?”
“I’ll do one better and go now.” He got to his feet. “Where should I put Henry?”
“I’ll take him.” Nicole waved him over and settled Henry on her lap with Amelia. “But it really isn’t necessary. I don’t need a tree.”
“Nonsense.” Sherry scoffed. “We might not be around to help much, but we can get a tree for you.”
Lance was already lacing up his boots. “I’ll get your lights and decorations out when I get back. Just point me in their direction.”
Nicole could still picture the dumpster where all of her Christmas items had ended up, and a dark cloud crossed over her heart. She couldn’t tell them she’d thrown them all away.
The garland, twinkle lights and snowmen on the fireplace mantel caught her eye. The display from her friends had been making the holiday season a little brighter. Maybe a tree wouldn’t be so bad. It would give Lance something to do. Her father-in-law liked to be busy.
“You might want to pick up a few boxes of cheap lights and bulbs,” Nicole said. “None of my decorations survived the move.”
“None of them?” Sherry gasped, shaking her head. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. You must have been devastated.”
Not even close. They were gone, and she was glad. She didn’t want the reminder of Christmases she’d never have again and couldn’t get back.
“You know, Sherry, whenever I think about what I’ve lost, I look at these adorable faces, and I count the three blessings I still have.”
“Aaron would have loved them. He would have enjoyed all this.” Sherry’s face paled as she got choked up. “He should be here helping his dad get the tree. It all feels so wrong.”
Nicole couldn’t help surveying her pretty cabin, the babies in her arms and the stack of bakery items on the counter. While she sympathized with Sherry’s grief, she’d done her best to pick up the pieces after Aaron had died. She was proud of how far she’d come. Her new life didn’t feel wrong at all. In fact, it felt right.
* * *
Judd shoved his phone into his jacket pocket and started his truck. He’d called his mom earlier. He hadn’t heard from his parents since finding out they’d bought the condo in Saint Thomas. After a brief conversation, she’d texted him several pictures of her and Dad laughing with a group of people at restaurants and the two of them hanging out on their new balcony. She’d even sent him a selfie on the beach.
Going on their merry way without a thought for him as usual. Feeling uncharacteristically lonely, he’d wanted to stop over at Nicole’s, but her in-laws were there and he wouldn’t intrude. So, he figured he’d do the next best thing. Stop in to visit Aunt Gretchen for a while.
As his truck rumbled down the drive leading to the highway, he kept an eye out on his land. The cattle were thriving. He still needed to inspect one of his remote pastures soon. The weather forecast was calling for milder weather, which would save him on hay since the cows would be able to graze. No matter what, the stacks of bales in the hay yard should keep his herd fed throughout the winter.
He took a left onto the highway toward town. Up ahead, a mule deer carcass sat by the side of the road. He’d have to deal with it later. Roadkill attracted predators like coyotes, and he didn’t want them anywhere near his cattle. Would the next person who owned his land protect it?
Why was estate planning so hard? He was tired of going round and round trying to make a decision.
Making a mental note to add moving the carcass to his list on the whiteboard in his ranch office, he turned on the radio. “The Christmas Song” played, and he pictured Nicole and the babies by a crackling fire. He could see himself there, too.
I’ve got to stop thinking about her.
The miles sped away until he reached town. Soon he parked behind a black truck in front of his aunt’s one-story brick house and strode up the walkway. After he rapped a few quick knocks, she opened the door.
“Judd, what a nice surprise. Come in!” She held the storm door open for him, and he took off his outerwear, then followed her down the hall.
Instrumental Christmas music filled the air, and her house smelled like cinnamon and other spices. The essence of the holiday season. When he reached her living room, he stopped cold.
There in one of her chairs was...Stu Miller. What was he doing here?
“Howdy, Judd.” Stu rose, the toothpick in his mouth bobbing, and came over to shake his hand.
Judd glanced at Aunt Gretchen to get an idea of what was going on. Maybe Stu had stopped by for something and she’d invited him to stay.
“I’ll get a pot of coffee on.” She beamed. “I made apple crumb cake earlier. Would you both like some?”
“I know I would.” Stu grinned, watching her walk away with a wistful expression on his face.
“Count me in.” Judd would just have to go with this, but the situation was bizarre. Aunt Gretchen never had men over that Judd knew of. Stu reclaimed the chair, and Judd sat on the couch. “What brings you over?”
Stu’s cheeks flushed. “Last week your aunt and I were talking about how we both like to do jigsaw puzzles this time of year.”
That was when Judd noticed a puzzle with part of the outline put together on the dining table adjacent to the living room.
“We got it started, and we’re taking a break,” Stu said. “These eyes don’t see small pieces as good as they used to.”
Aunt Gretchen bustled back in holding a tray filled with slices of cake, forks and napkins. She set the tray on the coffee table. “The coffee will be another minute.”
She beamed at Stu, who smiled wider than the open sky.
Was Judd interrupting something? Like a date?
He’d never imagined Aunt Gretchen dating.
“I don’t want to mess up your plans.” Judd started to rise.
“What? No. Sit.” She pointed to the couch. “I’ll be right back with the coffee.” She hurried back to the kitchen.
“You having any trouble with your pregnant
cows?” Stu leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
Judd wanted to be anywhere but here, but he’d make the best of it.
“No, they’re good. These temps are helping.”
“I always welcome a good thaw before winter comes to stay.” Stu discussed the forecast, and Judd relaxed, chiming in with questions about his ranch.
Aunt Gretchen came back and poured coffee for them all in mugs decorated with holly while Judd handed Stu a piece of cake.
“Okay, no more talking about cows, boys.” She sat back and sipped her coffee. “We’ve got Christmas coming up. Stu, what are your plans for the day?”
“Church first thing.” He sliced a fork into his piece of cake. “Dylan wants me to stop by Gabby’s for a bit in the afternoon. I got little Phoebe a plastic shopping cart with play food and everything. She sure is a cutie.”
“Phoebe will love it.” She smiled. “Judd and I always have dinner at five. You should join us. Shouldn’t he, Judd?” Her eyes were bright and sparkly. Judd couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her this happy.
His sweet aunt liked Stu Miller. Really liked him. And from the puppy-dog look on Stu’s face, the feeling was more than mutual.
“Uh, of course,” Judd stammered. “The more the merrier.”
But his heart wasn’t in it. What if Aunt Gretchen started to prefer Stu’s company to his? Would she make Christmas plans without Judd from now on? Get tired of their nightly phone calls?
His parents didn’t need him or want him around. Aunt Gretchen might get bored with him, too.
Things were changing. The crumb cake stuck to his throat.
He’d never been great with change. What if everyone moved forward without him?
He’d be alone.
He supposed he was used to it. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to be a loner anymore.