Traci Tyne Hilton - Mitzi Neuhaus 03 - Buyer's Remorse

by Traci Tyne Hilton

  “Maybe one of the Baptists would let you split a room? Where would we find the Baptists at this hour?” she asked. Then she noticed the sidewalks were fairly crowded with men in ski jackets wandering around in groups of three. “Do you think that’s them? The missionaries?”

  “I do.”

  “But what are they doing? No one else is out.”

  “Maybe they’re caroling,” Alonzo said.

  “I bet they are! Oh they are hysterical. Let’s pull over and see if we can find someone to bunk you with.”

  Alonzo didn’t pull over. “Let’s just eat.”

  The diner he picked was full of ruddy-cheeked men and women. Mitzy smiled at a lady wearing a stocking cap and a winter coat. “Here for the convention?” she asked.

  The woman perked up and nudged the man next to her.

  Alonzo leaned over and whispered in Mitzy’s ear, “Don’t tell them why we are here, please. They will think we are crazy.”

  Mitzy brushed him away like a fly.

  “Hi!” The woman in the hat said, “I’m Heather. This is my husband Bill. Our daughter Jenny and her husband Ben are meeting us here.” She fiddled with some pamphlets in her hand while she spoke.

  “I’m Mitzy Neuhaus and this is my fiancé, Alonzo.”

  Heather’s jaw dropped. “You are not! Jenny’s going to die. Our Ben is Ben! Your Ben, I mean, our son-in-law used to work for you! You’re famous!”

  Mitzy struggled to smile. “I’m not famous. But…you said Jenny and Ben are here?”

  “Yes, they should be here any minute.” She stepped a little closer to Mitzy, “We’re on mission here and they came too. I think it will be good for the kids. I mean, Bill’s a pastor, has been for a hundred years,” she laughed, “but sometimes I wonder if the kids are fully fired up for Jesus. I was so disappointed when Ben went into business for himself. You were a good influence.”

  Mitzy relaxed, thankful that the solution to their troubles had fallen into her lap. Bill and Heather would help them. “Alonzo and I are in kind of a tight spot. Maybe you could help us.”

  Alonzo, next to Mitzy, dropped his forehead into his hand.

  Before long Mitzy, Alonzo, Ben, Jenny, and Jenny’s parents were seated at a table waiting for their meals. Bill had a wicked grin on his face, the kind you see when a pastor has a scheme in mind.

  “Sure, you could bunk with us, Alonzo. But we’re in the wrong hotel. And it would just be silly, wouldn’t it? I mean, you’re a grown man, Mitzy, you’re an adult. Why spend the night apart?”

  Ben choked on his water.

  Bill had that look in his eye. No one dared answer his question. “Are you madly in love? Of course you are! Or you wouldn’t be here, randomly for some reason you aren’t willing to share, completely unprepared. Something brought you here together and I can only guess it is love.”

  Jenny flushed red. “Dad, please,” she begged.

  Heather had a twinkle in her eye. She seemed to know what Bill was thinking. Mitzy had no idea what they were up to and was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

  “Really, we can’t…we can’t share a room. I thought you all would understand.”

  “Oh, we understand,” Heather said with a silly grin.

  Bill made a display of checking his watch. “Heath, when we were caroling at the businesses yesterday afternoon did we, or did we not stop in at the county clerk’s office?”

  “Oh we did, Bill.”

  “Oh no,” Ben said.

  “Oh yes. Eat a hearty breakfast friends, and we can get you two to the clerk’s office as soon as it opens. You can be on your honeymoon before lunch!”

  Alonzo blushed bright red but hadn’t said anything yet. He took a very slow drink of water, “Sir, I don’t think—”

  “Do you love her?” Bill asked

  “Well yes, of course.”

  “Does she love you?”

  “I should say so,” Mitzy piped up.

  “So what’s the problem? You two don’t strike me as people who would want to make a big show of it. Just you and a couple of friends to witness and the Lord before you. What could be better?”

  “And if I remember right, you’ve been engaged for ages,” Heather said.

  Mitzy let a small sigh escape. It sounded peaceful and like it would solve at least one unsolvable problem. Or two. She blushed at the thought.

  Alonzo turned to Mitzy, “You know what?” he asked. “This would also solve the problem of how to keep you safe once we get home.”

  Jenny made some kind of sarcastic sounding snort from across the table. Ben put his hand on her knee.

  “Yes, but don’t we have to wait like a month for a marriage license?” Mitzy asked.

  “Not in Idaho,” Heather said. “We can walk right in and marry you now.” She looked at Mitzy’s leather suit jacket and turtleneck sweater, both brown. “But we might want to stop on the way and find something to wear.”

  “Let’s not waste time on clothes,” Mitzy said with a grin. She felt a little dizzy.

  Alonzo cleared his throat and turned to Mitzy, “You deserve better than a rushed ceremony in a clerk’s office. Are you sure you want to do this now?”

  Mitzy nodded.

  “Well then let’s eat, everyone. We’ve got a wedding to get to!” Bill said with a big grin.

  Everyone but Jenny ate as fast as they could. She picked at her quiche.

  “Aren’t you hungry?” Ben asked. He reached over and took a forkful of her breakfast.

  Jenny pushed her plate to Ben. “You can have it.”

  “You’ve got to eat.” Ben frowned. “You’ve got a big day ahead.”

  “Is that so?” Jenny asked. She sniffed and gave Mitzy the evil eye.

  “I’d say. Have you forgotten how crazy weddings can get?”

  Jenny slammed her fork down and turned away from Ben.

  “What?” Ben ate another bite of her breakfast. “What was that about?”

  “I’ve got a big day ahead because Mitzy is getting married? That’s why I’ve got a big day ahead? Oh joy.”

  “Uh oh.” Alonzo said. He looked at his watch.

  Heather leaned across the table and reached for her daughter’s hand. “Baby girl, what’s wrong?”

  “Mitzy is! Mitzy is what’s wrong!” Jenny yanked her hand away from her mom, “Every time I think we are going to have something special it turns into Mitzy’s special time.”

  “Huh?” Ben said.

  “We’re supposed to be here having a romantic winter ski trip while my parents go preaching. But what are we doing instead? We’re having a wedding for Mitzy. And why? Lord only knows. Probably because someone is trying to kill her and now we’re all in danger.”

  “Oh sweetie, that’s not it at all,” Heather soothed.

  “Oh yeah? Have you already forgotten the cake testing? And the kidnapping? And Ben being gone all those days before the wedding? Have you? He promised we’d never have to have anything to do with her again. So what are we doing? We’re the witnesses to her wedding! Lovely!”

  Mitzy looked at her watch too. Not that she wanted to miss a dramatic tantrum on the day of her wedding but she wanted to get going. She licked her lips and blushed.

  “Mitzy is not getting married to keep someone from killing her,” Ben said.

  “Well…” Alonzo started.

  “That’s enough out of you, young lady.” Bill had switched from his pastor voice to his dad voice. “You will get up right now and come with us to the clerk’s office for the wedding and I don’t want to hear another word about it.” Bill stood up and collected the checks. He took his daughter by the arm and marched her to the front of the restaurant.

  Jenny looked over her shoulder and shot Mitzy a pained look.

  Heather took Mitzy’s arm and patted it. “She’ll perk up. It’s just low blood sugar.”

  Mitzy smiled and shook her head a little. Mothers never saw the worst in their kids.

  The group broke up into their cars
and drove to the clerk’s office.

  On the way Heather pulled into a florist and bought Mitzy a bouquet of white roses and holly.

  Tears stung Mitzy’s eyes. “They are beautiful,” she said quietly. “My poor mom.”

  “Mothers have survived elopements before,” Heather said with a smile. “Let this wedding be for you and Alonzo. You can always have a party back home for your parents.”

  Mitzy lifted the roses up and smelled the delicate fragrance. “Yes. This is best.” On the road, with death smashing in the fender of her car, she had let her heart pray to God the words she couldn’t think of. And God had heard her prayers, all of them right then. He had answered her prayers by letting her live. Alonzo had lived too. And God delivered a pastor to them so they could get married right this minute. She was sorry her mom and dad would miss it, but yes, mothers had survived elopements before.

  She walked into the clerk’s office with the white roses in her arms. Alonzo stood up at the desk with the Pastor Bill and Ben and Jenny. He held out his hand to her and she took it.

  Alonzo and Mitzy were married, sincerely, completely, and devoutly married, with a few simple words and a prayer of thanksgiving.

  After a truly breathtaking kiss, Mitzy let go of Alonzo and looked around. Ben was grinning, ear to ear. Jenny was looking out the window, avoiding eye contact with Mitzy.

  “That’s it,” Mitzy whispered.

  Alonzo pulled Mitzy to him one more time. “You’re not getting out of my sight again, you know that, right?” He kissed her before she could respond.

  The door to the county clerk’s office opened with a whine. A man in a denim and shearling jacket stepped in. He had a truck stop hat pulled low over his head. “Mornin’,” he said; he didn’t smile. He took long slow steps into the room and stopped in front of Alonzo and Mitzy, one hand in his coat pocket.

  “I wondered when you’d get here,” Jenny said.

  “Do you know him?” Ben asked, looking from his wife to the big man in the trucker hat.

  “Sure I do. He’s the bad guy, isn’t he?” She stepped right up to him, “I’ve been expecting him since we got here.”

  “Jenny!” Heather said, shocked. “Don’t be rude.”

  Jenny looked him up and down and shook her head in disgust. “Do you really think we are going to let you come in here, in the middle of the wedding and, what, ‘get us’?” She rolled her eyes. “You may be some kind of red neck thug perpetrating various and sundry nefarious crimes, but you have no right to interrupt—” He grabbed her by the neck and pulled her to his chest. He pressed his palm over her mouth.

  “She talks too much,” he said. “I figger she’s got about five minutes before she needs to breathe. Hand me all your cell phones and I’ll be leaving.”

  Mitzy held Alonzo’s hand in hers and squeezed his fingers. She watched her friends. Ben had gone pale like he was going to faint, Heather hovered near her daughter, her hands fluttering in front of her like she wanted to pull Jenny to safety. Bill had quietly slipped to the side, and gotten himself behind the man in the hat. Alonzo stepped forward. “This room is full of cameras,” he said.

  “You’re not from around here, are you?” the man replied with a slow drawl. “Just give me your phones. A good friend asked me to get them and this seemed like the right time. I thought the wedding would never be over.” He caught Mitzy’s eye, “Don’t even think of screaming or pretending you don’t have a phone.”

  Mitzy shut her mouth. She tried to watch Bill without being obvious. “We’ll give you our phones. No biggy. Just let poor Jenny breathe.”

  The man grinned, “Whatever,” he said. He dropped his hand from her mouth, but reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife instead. He put it up to her neck. “That better?”

  Mitzy pulled her phone out of her pocket. Heather and Ben did the same thing. They each put them on the floor and gave them a push across the linoleum.

  “Two more,” the man said.

  Alonzo took his phone out of the pocket of his pants. He crouched down, inch by inch, and put it on the floor, but not before he took a picture. He stood up and put his foot on the phone. “Who wants these?”

  The man laughed. “Someone important. Hey Joe!” he called out.

  “What’s that?” A voice from the back answered.

  “Just me, man. Getting something for our friend.”

  Joe showed his face in the banker style window that he had stood in to record the wedding. “Hey now!” he said, his face ashen. His eyebrow twitched as he looked out.

  “Don’t worry. Our friend needs their phones. If I get them all no one gets hurt.”

  “Give the man your phones and get out of here. I don’t want any trouble in my office.” He looked at the small group again and then closed the shutter to his window.

  “Ain’t small towns great?” The man with the knife said. “Everybody knows each other. Two more phones.”

  Mitzy watched as Bill quietly picked up the upholstered waiting room chair. He moved away from the man with the knife one more step and then brought the chair down on his head.

  The man crumpled to the floor, sliding his knife across Jenny’s collarbone. She screamed as it slit her skin. Ben ran to her. He caught her in his arms, but she pushed him away. She turned around and kicked the man. “I told you not to come in here and ruin this beautiful day!” she screamed.

  “Run!” Bill called out.

  Jenny kept kicking him. “I want to tell him how I feel! I have had it with you people and your knives and your kidnapping. Grow up!” She kicked him, over and over. Her face was red and her hair flew around her face as she kicked him again.

  “Run, I said!” Bill hollered. He grabbed Alonzo by the arm and both men ran. Ben was trying to grab Jenny but she was flailing, her arms flying with each kick she delivered.

  “Baby, we’ve got to get out of here!” he cried.

  Mitzy reached down and collected the cell phones. She handed one to Jenny. “Why don’t you just call the cops?”

  Jenny took the phone and gave him one more kick. Then she turned to Mitzy, “As for you, this is the last time, really the last time, that you get to come along with your drama and your crime and ruin my fun!” Jenny stalked out with her phone to her ear.

  Ben looked from the man on the ground to Mitzy. “I told you she was still mad!”

  “Joe?” Mitzy called out. The man on the ground looked like he was down for a little while.

  Joe stuck his head out his window again. “Yes ma’am?” He looked down at his friend on the ground. His upper lip began to twitch.

  “How much do you need to keep this all quiet? This guy knows who I am, I think. But he doesn’t know the other ones. How much to keep their names away from him?”

  Joe’s thin lips made a tiny smile. “Well now…”

  The man on the ground shifted his legs.

  “I don’t have time for this,” Mitzy said. She pulled out her wallet and tossed a hundred dollar bill into the window at Joe. “Please, he knows who I am. That’s enough.”

  Joe picked the money up with two fingers and smiled at it.

  Mitzy grabbed the handle of the heavy wood door, and pulled it. It groaned in her hand and for a moment she thought the sound came from the man on the floor.

  She ran to Alonzo’s pickup and jumped in the open door that was waiting for her. Everyone else was already gone. Alonzo drove off without a word. At the first stop light he leaned over and kissed her. “Happy wedding.”

  “Happy wedding. Now what?” Mitzy knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to keep driving until they were back at the police station in Portland and the cops had seen their photos. But for the moment, since they had just gotten married, she supposed she’d ask Alonzo his opinion.

  “Well…” He nudged her with his elbow.

  She blushed again. “Where did Heather and Bill go? And why didn’t you wait for me?”

  “They went back to the church that’s hosting their conve
ntion. Strength in numbers. They invited us to come too. And I didn’t wait for you because Bill is a very persuasive man. But I did have the get-away car all ready. That’s not too bad.”

  “No, that’s not too bad. Listen, I gave the last of my cash to Joe, so he wouldn’t tell that guy who the people with us were. I hope he won’t. But you never can tell.”

  “I don’t think the knife guy was the farmer.”

  “Neither do I. He kept talking about their mutual ‘friend.’ I think that was our ‘farmer.’ I don’t think we should stay the night here.”

  “What about the Miata?”

  “Let’s lay low with the Baptists today, maybe crash in one of the rooms at the church and then drive through the night,” Mitzy said.

  “Now that is a romantic honeymoon.”

  “I’ve got the pictures on the camera. Getting run off the road and held up at knife point—”

  “That was just Jenny,” Alonzo said.

  “One of us getting held up is enough. I’d say the guy running this business is feeling the pressure from someone, and not just us. We need to get out of here.”

  “Okay then. We’ll let the insurance adjuster fax over the info. We’ll hook up with the Baptists, get a little rest and then get out of here.”

  Mitzy let her hand rest on Alonzo’s knee, “I’m glad we’re married,” she said.

  “Me too. Now I don’t have to let you out of my sight.”

  Mitzy closed her eyes and leaned her head back for a moment. It had been a long 24 hours.

  The truck stopped and Mitzy opened her eyes. They were at a church called First Baptist. Alonzo got out of the car and then opened the door for Mitzy. He helped her down. She yawned. She hadn’t realized how tired she was.

  “You did drive all night,” Alonzo said.

  “Do you really think they’ll give us a place to take a nap?” she asked.

  “Bill and Heather promised. They said they’ve got a group stationed here all day with food and hot drinks. If nothing else we can stretch out on a pew. What could be wrong with that idea?” He opened the tall glass doors to the church and let Mitzy in.