Racing the Dark

by Alaya Dawn Johnson

  Looking around her for the final time, she had a strange, hazy glimpse of glowing lanterns, angry faces, and one brave woman daring to stop them. Then she stood up and with a few painful, powerful strokes heaved herself off of the ground and into the night sky.

  She didn't dare spend too long in the air-Kai seemed to be holding onto consciousness by sheer force of will. His breathing was shallow and she knew the air and the wind that was battering them at such a high altitude could only make things worse. The effort of carrying both her and his weight was also ripping open her healing back. She managed to make it to the city, landing less than gracefully on a low roof in the northeast. They both lay there panting for a few moments before Lana forced herself to sit up again. They still wouldn't be safe unless she could somehow conceal her identity. She shoved her own exhaustion away and began rifling through Kai's bag for something she could use as a cloak. To her surprise, she found a real one with a blue silk lining, so long that she knew Kai must have bought it for her. She smiled and put it on, carefully arranging the folds so it disguised the shape of her wings. Then she reached over and shook him by the shoulders.

  "Kai, you have to wake up. Just a little longer and then you can rest, okay?"

  He opened his eyes and smiled. "You're crazy, keika."

  Lana almost started crying again. "You too," she said softly. "Now put your arm over my shoulder."

  They were in luck-she had apparently landed on top of a theater and the production was letting out right at that moment. Many of the people below her were wearing outfits so outlandish she felt sure that the two of them would simply blend into the crowd. They climbed down a ladder set into the wall and then Lana half-carried Kai as she walked as nonchalantly as she could through the crowd.

  She stopped in front of two men lolling on the side of the theater and smoking something whose smell she didn't recognize. They looked at her raised cloak with the barest flicker of curiosity.

  "I'm sorry, but my friend here is a little drunk and, um ... I was wondering if you could tell me where the nearest inn would be?"

  "Up the street, to the left," one of them said. "It has a red door. You can't miss it."

  Lana thanked them and walked with Kai as quickly as she could-his legs were barely moving beneath him. The inn was just as easy to find as the men had said and the proprietor seemed as disinclined as anybody else in this neighborhood to think there was something strange about having a hunchback and a nearalbino as guests. Lana fished into Kai's pocket and pulled out a hundred-kala coin that seemed to satisfy the proprietor quite nicely, since he led them to a room in back that was much quieter and a bit larger than the others.

  "I'll have a maid bring bedding," he said.

  Lana took a ten-kala coin from Kai's pocket and handed it to the man. "Make sure she brings the softest sleeping mats ... some food and amant weed wouldn't be amiss either."

  The man looked at her a little bemusedly and then nodded before shutting the door behind him. Lana set Kai against a wall and then poured some water from the pitcher on the table. He revived enough to drink half of it and then leaned back against the wall. His skin felt dangerously cold and he had begun shivering. She waited impatiently until she heard someone knock at her door. Two maids entered, one carrying some of the fluffiest bedding she had ever seen and the other bearing a huge tray of food.

  "Is that real?" the younger maid asked after she had set down the food, pointing to Lana's back.

  Lana nodded. "I've had it since I was born."

  "Does it hurt?" she asked, ignoring the other one's efforts to drag her out of the room.

  "Not anymore."

  "Oh? Well, good night, then. Just let me know if you want anything else." She closed the door behind her and Lana heard the two girls arguing as they walked back down the hall.

  Lana allowed herself a small smile and then locked the door after them. She took off his shoes and then half-dragged Kai to the sleeping mat. Part of her wanted to take off his clothes, but she didn't quite have the nerve. Instead she pulled the thick down quilt over him and adjusted his head on the pillow. Just before she turned to the food, he gripped her hand. Her heartbeat skitteredshe had assumed he was asleep.

  "Will you come home with me?" he asked. His iris-less eyes rippled the way they had the first time he looked at her. "My father is dead-I must go home and be his successor. But will you come with me?"

  "To the water shrine?" she asked, stupidly. Was it possible that they had only kissed just this afternoon? That he had nearly killed himself to save her life? "Why?"

  "I can protect you. So long as you're there with me, that death will never be able to touch you. You and your mother will be safe. I ... I want to be with you, keika. Please come?"

  Lana's thoughts seemed to have collapsed in on themselves. Safe forever? It must be a dream, but here Kai was offering it to her. And yet, to be so deeply in his debt, so beholden to him? They had only known each other for five days. But more than anything, she wanted to stay alive, and Kai was probably the only one who could help. Safety, he said, and ...

  "I'll go with you," she said, burying her face in the crook of his shoulder. "Of course I'll go."

  Three weeks after they first boarded the ship to the water shrine, Lana once again awoke without Kai's familiar heat beside her. She was nearly drowned in the folds of the hammock, and once again wondered how he had managed to get up without disturbing her. She pulled up the blankets and attempted to fall asleep again, but her mind wandered back to Kai, her almost-lover, who had grown progressively more introspective and withdrawn as they neared his home. Maybe it was just grief over his father, but something there was haunting him. The same thing, perhaps, that made him refuse to take their relationship beyond a certain level of intimacy. She felt frustrated, but too nervous to demand answers-what if he reconsidered his offer? What if he took away her only chance at peace and safety? How could she go on as she had before, when she knew how much better it could be?

  She tumbled out of the hammock and climbed up the hatch to the deck. Kai was standing near the prow, leaning over the railing. His hair was wild in the wind-midnight black and streaked with starlight. Her breath caught, as it always did, at his changeable, inhuman beauty. The water was choppy tonight, but she navigated the deck easily on her bare feet. She didn't think she had made any noise that could be heard over the ocean, but Kai spoke when she was a few feet away.

  "I need to ask you a question," he said. His voice was tense.

  "Okay," she said, worried but trying not to show it. She joined him at the railing, but he didn't turn to face her.

  "The death has been chasing you for months. How well do you know it?"

  Lana was confused by the question. "Know? I don't ... I mean, it's a spirit."

  She caught the edge of his smile. "And you can't know spirits?"

  "Oh" She looked out at the sea, grateful that the night hid her blush. "Well, then ..." She thought of its inscrutable silences, sudden violence, bizarre moments that might have approached affection, and shook her head. "Not very well."

  "So you wouldn't know if someone had weakened its bonds." It was a statement that almost sounded like an accusation.

  "Weakened them? How would I know anything about that? I'm just an herb witch."

  He turned to look at her now, and she was surprised by how weary he seemed. His eyes were nearly black. "The death that follows you? It's no pale manifestation of the great spirit, and even that would be surprising for an herb-witch. No, it's a full-fledged projection. Do you understand? The actual death spirit, the one bound by rock and bone in the heart of a dead volcano on the inner islands, has projected itself to chase you for your mother's death. Do you think that's normal? Do you think, even with such an ancient and powerful geas, most people are taken past the gates by the Great Spirit itself?"

  You are chased by more than you know. Others had told her that, over the course of this torturous journey, but she had been too distraught to pay much a
ttention. A projection? She had always imagined that it was one of the lesser death spirits, a reflection of a reflection of a ghost of the true manifestation.

  "What are you saying?" Her voice was quiet, but it shook.

  "Fire or death," he said softly. "You weakened its bonds, didn't you?" He sounded resigned, not angry.

  "I-" Something occurred to her. "All this time? When you invited me and you ... all this time?"

  "Yes"

  How could he be so calm? She laughed, but it was desperate and a little hysterical. "You've thought I did something that could kill millions of innocent people and you wanted me anyway?"

  She couldn't read his face. "I thought ... maybe it wasn't deliberate."

  "And if it was?"

  "Even so."

  She slapped him, hard. He must have seen the blow coming, but he didn't stop it. "Even if I wanted to, I don't know how to weaken a great Binding. And I would never, ever want to."

  He didn't say anything, but she could hear his question anyway: then why was the great spirit itself floating just beyond the ship?

  He took her hand, quickly, before she could pull away, and touched his fingertips to her palm. "I apologize," he said.

  "Kai ... it really didn't matter?"

  He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. "No."

  They arrived a week later. The water shrine was a short but sprawling structure dominating an island at least the same size as her childhood home. On the opposite harbor she saw the famous blue marble arch-the spirit gate. Guarding that gate was the guardian's main task: to prevent the lesser spirits from escaping the islands. The shrine itself was largely made out of the same blue marble, although it looked as though many additions had been made with whatever stone had been available at the time. A small boat awaited them in the harborless waters nearby, and they lowered themselves into it with a rope thrown over the edge of the ship. The death hovered over them until it seemed to hit a wall right on the boundary of the shrine. So Kai had told her the exact truth when he offered her total protection. As long as she stayed here in this beautiful place, she and everyone she loved would always be safe from the death. Certainly, Kai was more than a match for it. Kai paddled the boat slowly around the edge of the island until he reached a part of the shrine that was built over the water. A few other boats were moored inside and Kai pulled alongside with a deft maneuver. The splashing water echoed delicately on the stone, but she heard no other sounds coming from the temple. Was there no one to come and meet him in his own home? He stepped lightly out of the boat and then held out his hand. Lana took it, unable to keep a smile from spreading across her face.

  After all this time, she was finally safe.

  13

  Al WAS SILENT as he led her through a long corridor. The blue-veined marble walls stopped abruptly where the ceiling should be. Instead, jets of water sprayed like arches overhead. Water from the jets misted around them, but somehow neither she nor Kai got wet. Beside her she felt a rush of air and then a brief giggle, like that of a young girl, echo off the stones. Footprints of water appeared and then vanished almost immediately, running far ahead of them down the hall. She froze and turned to Kai.

  "What was that?" she asked.

  "Just a sprite. I suppose they're going to tell my father I've returned." His voice was tense, distant.

  "I thought your father was dead."

  He started walking again. "He is."

  Lana felt like clicking her tongue in annoyance-he was always this closed off-but she refrained. Kai was clearly disturbed, but she didn't know enough about him to understand why. A few uncomfortable minutes later, Lana, still unbalanced by her wings, slipped on the damp floor and went careening into the wall. Instead of smashing against hard stone like she had expected, she was actually cushioned by the strange film of water rushing, impossibly, along the side. It spread from the wall in the shape of two long-fingered hands and pushed her gently upright. Kai's hands replaced the ones that had already receded into the water, and she wondered at how similar they felt. She shivered at his touch on her arms and looked into his eyes.

  "I'm sorry," he said. "I wasn't thinking. Here." He waved his hand and suddenly the area around her feet cleared entirely of water, bone dry under her sandals.

  Lana smiled tentatively and wished that he would hold her closer, but he just turned away again and they continued their journey through the hall. She heard more giggles and the sound of running footsteps passing them, but Kai ignored it and eventually she did too. At the end of the hall was an archway festooned with small animal sculptures that she was half-convinced turned their heads to stare at her as she passed through. Kai stopped her just before the path abruptly ended. They stood before a large, dimly lit room filled entirely with water that lapped delicately against the walls. She was about to ask Kai how they could get across when the blue feather in his hair glowed briefly and the water receded a few inches, revealing a series of irregularly shaped stones that led to the other end of the chamber.

  Without any warning, Kai picked her up by the waist and jumped lightly to the first stone. She squirmed half-heartedly, laughing. She loved being this close to him.

  "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" she said, pounding on his back.

  "Would you rather I toss you in?" he said, and for the first time in a week she heard genuine laughter in his tone.

  When he was about to jump from the middle stone, a wobbly, glowing glob detached itself from the water and floated up to her face. She nearly choked, but Kai's lack of reaction told her that this thing-whatever it was-couldn't be dangerous. It paused a few inches from her eyes, and she stared back helplessly, feeling uncomfortable at something that felt oddly like an appraisal. Inside its filmy skin she could see dozens of strange whirling objects, but nothing even resembling eyes or a mouth. Eventually it broke her gaze and dropped down to Kai. The thing wrapped itself around his head for a few moments and glowed very brightly before meandering back underneath the water.

  "What ... what was that?" Lana asked, desperately trying to keep her tone even.

  "An old friend," he said. "Well, perhaps it isn't so bad to be back at home, after all."

  An old friend? The gulf separating their lives suddenly yawned into a chasm.

  The dark room with the rocks led to a large pond, its clear, smooth surface reflecting the green plants surrounding it and the bright blue of the sky above. Kai stepped onto a wooden bridge that spanned the lake and gestured for her to follow him. Lana paused at the top of the bridge and looked down at the glassy surface of the water. For a brief moment, she didn't realize she was staring at her own reflection-she hadn't seen herself since she had left Akua. She was much thinner. Her cheekbones were more sharply defined and her eyes held a certain wariness that she didn't recognize. And her wings ...

  "Great Kai," she whispered.

  Kai put a hand on her shoulder, but didn't say anything. She was grateful for his touch-it grounded her, made her remember who she was. She barely recognized that stranger reflected in the water. She took a shaky breath and looked back up at him. His eyes looked turbulent, filled with sadness and pity and other emotions she didn't quite understand. Her breath caught.

  "Just wait here for a bit," he said.

  Before she could ask him what he was planning, he smiled and tumbled backwards in an impossibly graceful dive into the water. She leaned over the bridge and called his name a little frantically before she realized how ludicrous her fear was. Kai was as much a part of the water as he was human. His skin looked subtly different when he surfaced moments later, slick and oily-almost like a seal. He splashed water playfully at her but she noticed that no drops ever landed on her wings.

  "Hey, stop that!" she shouted, following him around to the other side of the bridge. His mood was infectious, and she laughed even as he lobbed more water in her direction. His attacks took the strangest forms-delicate flowers, stars, fish that swam through the air toward her face with their mouths ope
n. His rapid, easy movements in the water filled her with envy. How long had it been since she dove? Unthinking, she unstrapped her sandals and flexed her legs for her familiar dive into the water.

  She looked down at Kai and smiled, wondering why he suddenly looked so worried.

  "Lana, what are you-"

  He actually launched himself out of the water, landing on top of her with enough force to almost bowl her over the other side of the bridge. She landed on her back, her wings squashed beneath her and the healing skin on her back pulled painfully taut.

  "What were you doing?" he shouted, his voice shaking.

  "I just wanted to dive ..."

  "Lana ... you can't dive anymore. If you do and I'm not around, you'll drown. Promise me you won't ever try that again."

  "But, Kai-"

  "Promise me!"

  His eyes resembled a fast-moving current, and in their depths she imagined she saw that first mandagah fish, opening its dying mouth over and over again as though it would devour her as well as its tainted jewel. She closed her eyes and wished that his words weren't true, that she would be able to dive again. She had known the depth of her sacrifice the second the wind spirit uttered the words "dark angel." Yet to hear it put so plainly ... there could be no more denial.

  "I promise," she said.

  He touched her wet cheek softly, collecting her tears on his fingers. When her face was dry, he put his hand to his mouth. One by one, he let the gathered tears dissolve on his tongue as his own eyes danced like the sea in a hurricane.

  I'm a part of him now, she thought, overwhelmed-like a tiny piece of driftwood tossed on the top of a vast, stormy ocean.

  Eventually they reached a drier part of the vast complex. The water in this area confined itself to a few small ponds with bridges and a stream that ran through all of the rooms. He led her up a small flight of stairs and then entered a room whose only door seemed to be an archway of roots covered by thick, hanging vines. He pushed his way through and she saw that it was some kind of sleeping chamber. There was no roof to speak of, but tall green plants shaded the sun's harsh glare. Nestled between the massive roots of one tree was a bed covered with fresh white sheets. Spaces had been carved in the walls where she could place her belongings.