Catch All The Girlfriends! 2

by KJ Harlow

  “That the best you got?” The bird-kin taunted. She heaved, engaging in a tug-o-war with the wild girlfriend. Her arms strained against the vines until the Ila couldn’t hold her any longer. The vines slithered back towards her hands.

  “Alright Soph, finish her off. Dagger Wing!”

  “Hehehehe…” Sophie threw her arms out again. In a blink, they had formed into long, polished, sharp blades. In three heartbeats, she had closed the distance between them and thwacked her blades on either side of the Ila. The blades disappeared and Soph withdrew her arms, leaping back a few feet.

  The grass/ground-type sat down, crossed her legs and closed her eyes, tranquil smile still on her face.

  Wild Ila fainted!

  Soph has gained 421 EXP!

  “Has… she really fainted?”

  “Yeah, they’re all like that. You can’t wake them up,” Spence said, looking to the ceiling of the glasshouse. “Come on, let’s keep going.” Vara tailed him with Moxie not too far behind.

  “Hey, since when were we with beefcake bozo?” Soph asked, hands on hips.

  “Since I decided we were going to help him catch an OP girlfriend so we could get his dad’s money so I could get a new GF-wiki,” Yoshi murmured, keeping an eye on Spence up ahead.

  “O… P?” came a voice from behind them.

  Yoshi and Soph spun around. There was no one there but the fainted Ila. Then she spoke again, sounding each word out slowly.

  “What does OP mean?”

  “Wait, you haven’t fainted yet?”

  “I had,” she said slowly. “But the Earth revived me.”

  Yoshi and Soph exchanged a look. “OP means ‘overpowered’. There’s a really powerful girlfriend in here by the name of Scardino. My friend is trying to catch her.”

  The Ila opened her eyes. Her irises were the darkest green Yoshi had ever seen. “She is dear to us; you will not succeed.”

  She cradled his perplexed gaze in her steady, impenetrable stare.

  Soph advanced towards her, rolling her right sleeve up. “Do you want to faint again? Because I can make you–”

  “Wait.” Yoshi snapped his hand onto his girlfriend’s wrist. Soph shut up and became still. He took a step towards the treant.

  “Why won’t we succeed?” For the longest time, she said nothing. Then she raised an arm, pointing directly at him. Soph tensed, taking a half step in front of her master.

  “Her story is broken; it begins on that tree. Her heart is broken; the pieces will guide you.”

  “Story? Broken heart? Wait…” Yoshi put his hand on the wild grass-type’s shoulder.

  “Are you nuts?” Soph hissed. “Don’t go touching a wild girlfriend.” Yoshi waved her away. He gave the Ila a gentle shake. No response.

  “Come on,” Yoshi said, stepping away from the grass-type. “Let’s see what the hell she was talking about.”

  Yoshi walked past his bewildered girlfriend, who hadn’t taken her eyes off the Ila. She begrudgingly followed her trainer.

  “Which tree was she pointing at?” Yoshi was standing in the middle of the path, looking along the imaginary line that the Ila had pointed from.

  Soph plucked a stray feather out of her chestnut brown hair and let it float to the ground. She put her hands on her hips and slowly scanned each tree.

  “Why don’t you get a bit closer? You can’t see anything standing–”

  “Shut up, I think I found something.” The bird-kin jogged over to a set of trees with smooth wood. She rested her hand on it then glanced at Yoshi triumphantly. “My bird vision beats your pathetic normal eyes.”

  “Serious? What does it say?” Yoshi jogged over and eyed the spot that she was pointing at. Someone had scratched seven, mildly disconcerting words into the tree. The words were gouged deep into the bark nearly an inch thick. Gray sap had bled from the grooves a long time ago and crystallized before it could ooze to the bottom.

  I can’t believe it. This isn’t happening.

  “Is that all it says?” Yoshi asked. Soph was already bouncing around amongst the other trees, looking them up and down.

  “That’s it. That Ila was slow but you’re even slower,” Yoshi’s flying-type sighed. “Are we going to keep going or what?” Yoshi kept staring at the words, trying to piece them together. Wait… pieces…

  Her heart is broken; the pieces will guide you.

  “Hold on.” Yoshi threaded his fingers into his remaining three rings and disengaged them from his belt. “Starry, Flick, Crystal.” His other three girlfriends appeared and looked either at Yoshi or their new surrounds.

  “This place is called the Abandoned Glasshouse. Have a look at this tree.” Yoshi showed the words on the tree to his newly called-out girlfriends. “I want you to look for more instances of words like these as we move deeper inside. I don’t know how, but they’re meant to point us to where Scardino is. She’s an OP girlfriend who apparently lives here.”

  “So we’re just meant to look for words carved onto trees?” Flick asked.

  “I’m… not sure,” Yoshi said, shaking his head. “That’s probably our best bet. We’ll move slowly and make sure we check every tree. If you see wild girlfriends, attack at will. Crystal and Flick, you have to be careful, there are heaps of grass-types here. Escape if you have to.”

  I wanna be the very best…

  Yoshi pulled his phone out. “Spence. Hey, yeah, I’m still back here. Listen, did you ever notice weird sentences carved into the trees around here?”

  “So this is everything so far?”

  Now that they were further in, it was much harder to find some space that wasn’t overrun by wild plants. Yoshi, his four girlfriends, as well as Spence, Vara and Moxie were standing in a circle, looking at the ground.

  “So this is everything so far?” Yoshi said, arms crossed.

  “Mm-hm.” Crystal murmured. She had been the designated scribe. She tossed the pointy rock she had used as a writing utensil from hand to hand absent-mindedly, reading over what she had written in the dirt.

  “It’s a bit creepy,” Flick said, turning a shade of blue-green while hugging herself.

  x48 I can’t believe it. This isn’t happening.

  x38 I’m so sorry, I didn’t care as much as I should have.

  x34 I will destroy everything.

  x25 I guess it was too good to be true.

  x19 I can wait.

  x12 I still have our Glasshouse.

  x5 I will wait.

  “Dude, this is crazy.” Spence scoffed. “It’s probably some nutcase that’s just come in here and scratched these words everywhere.”

  “Would a nutcase write, ‘I can’t believe it. This isn’t happening.’ 48 times?”

  “Err, yeah!”

  Yoshi was silent. Once they started paying attention, the words appeared everywhere. They were mostly on trees, but some were gouged in the ground.

  “What type of girlfriend did you say Scardino was again?”

  Spence clucked in annoyance, pulling out his GF-wiki. He scrolled to her listing and passed it over to Yoshi. A reptile woman stared back at him with red eyes and teeth built to rip meat from bone. She had green scales and frills down her back, muscular arms and legs and pitch-black, two-inch claws jutting out form the ends of her fingers and toes.

  Name: Scardino

  Entry #: 110

  Species: Dino

  Type: Grass/Dragon

  Nature: Fierce

  Rarity: **

  Scardinos are revered for their strength. Able to rip a man apart with her bare hands, she is a girlfriend who is difficult to control at first. However, once you have earned her trust, she will be by your side until the end of time.

  “And where did you see her?”

  “Can’t remember. It was somewhere deep inside this place. Tall grass, thick trees. Was following another trainer, then she appears out of nowhere.”

  “You said that she’s had her heart broken, is that right?” Vara asked. Yoshi looked
up at Spence’s grass-type starter and nodded. “Then she’s been grieving. These statements are proof of that.What happened to her lover?”

  Yoshi shrugged. “By the sounds of it, he abandoned her.”

  “And now she’s running around this Glasshouse.” Spence said. “I’ll catch her and look after her. I’m a good trainer, just ask these two.” Vara and Moxie ignored him, staring at the statements etched in the ground.

  “There’s still one problem, we don’t know where she is,” Yoshi said.

  “Yeah, she’s a wild girlfriend. She’s going to wander around. That’s what we have to do too. You know what?” Spence broke the circle, grabbing the hands of Vara and Moxie. “I’ll give you a call when I find her.”

  Vara whipped her head back, braids wrapping around her shoulders. She mouthed ‘sorry’ and turned back.

  “There’s a pattern.”

  Yoshi, Starry, Flick, and Soph looked at Crystal. The unflappable rock-type had been staring at the statements and hadn’t moved a muscle.

  “What do you see, Crystal?”

  The rock-type walked around the circle until she stood side-on. “They’re all quite scattered, but each statement seems to have been written in a particular area of the Glasshouse.” She squatted and pointed at the first statement. “This first one was closest to the entrance but it fanned out over a wide area. The second one was deeper and spread out over a smaller space. From there, the number of instances of the statement decreases and the space they appear in also shrinks.”

  “Crystal’s right.” Starry said. “As she progresses through her grieving, she seems to move through each stage quicker. She also seems to move deeper into the Glasshouse. The ‘I will waits’ were clustered really closely together. They were all scratched on the sides of some really big trees over there.”

  “Where?” Yoshi asked.

  She led them away from the glade and towards the trees. Here, they grew thick and close together, so much so that when Yoshi looked up, he couldn’t see the ceiling of the glasshouse.

  “Over here.” Starry straddled a fallen log and pushed some ferns aside.

  Three trees grew closely together, their trunks twisting and merging further up, winding to infinity. There was a circular break in the glass ceiling, designed to give just enough space for the gigantic, braided trees space to grow. Whoever planted these, they knew they were going to grow like this.

  Starry wasn’t kidding, they were enormous. Yoshi spent the next 10 minutes walking around the perimeter, his hand trailing along the bark. All along the side, spaced out he saw three words: I will wait. He knocked the wood. It was thick, but there was an unmistakable hollow sound from the inside.

  “We’re missing something…” Yoshi rested his head against the trunk.

  “Bossman, we got company.”

  “Not now Soph.”

  Wild Lifee appeared!

  8

  The Tree Cottage

  NAME: Lifee

  LEVEL: 15

  HP: 54/54

  “Hello,” the Lifee said softly. She watched on as Yoshi’s girlfriends zapped back into their rings one by one. “Are you here to battle?”

  Yoshi didn’t say anything. Ankle-length foliage dress, patchwork poncho. Was she another grass-type? Those contrasted starkly with her neon-green skin that seemed to glow in the semi-darkness. She tilted her head in curiosity, her bell-shaped, brunette hair bobbing to the side. He picked his ring. If in doubt…

  “Starry, go!”

  The interstellar-type reappeared and took guard.

  The Lifee hummed. “Battle it is then.”

  “Starry, Siren Song!”

  The star mistress clasped her hands to her heart and closed her eyes. The notes floated out of her mouth and swirled through the air. It could have been the height of the glasshouse, the dampness of the air, or the thickness of the flora in this area, but the song didn’t seem to resonate as much as in the Caverns.

  Nevertheless, the Lifee flinched and crouched down, hands clasped over her head. Her HP dropped to 36/54.

  She took a moment to compose herself then stood back up. She was trying to look angry, but her small, apple-like face made her look adorable instead. She put both hands to her side as if she were about to throw a giant frisbee and spun instead.

  Wild Lifee used Nettle Sting!

  A volley of inch-long, thin, cone-like projectiles whistled through the air towards Starry. She held her hands up in futility but all that did was expose her hands to her pain.

  Starry’s Defence fell!

  NAME: Serenette (Starry)

  LEVEL: 21

  HP: 40/72

  “Starry, are you OK?”

  Most of the projectiles had struck her and fallen to the ground. The remaining ones she gingerly picked out of her skin. She looked at her trainer and waved off his concern.

  “Starry, Siren Song again!”

  The interstellar-type cleared her throat and began her requiem anew. Knowing that the acoustics were bad, she upped her volume. The Lifee fell to her knees, tears in the corner of her eyes.

  Critical Hit!

  For a second, Yoshi thought that she had knocked her out. Her HP bar was virtually empty; she was lying on her side, eyes barely open.

  Yoshi pulled an empty ring out of his belt, pointing it at the wild girlfriend. The crystal glowed for a moment before a blue beam shot out, striking the Lifee. Her form flickered, disintegrated and flew towards his fist.

  Come on…

  It flashed once, twice, three times before the light faded.

  You have caught Lifee!

  Lifee’s details will be added to the GF-wiki.

  Error! Cannot locate GF-wiki!

  “Good work, Starry,” Yoshi said, walking up to his girlfriend. “Know much about this girlfriend?” She shook her head. There was blood dribbling down her skin where the Nettle Sting had punctured her skin.

  “Can I freshen up?”

  “Sure.” Yoshi unlocked her ring from his belt. He got down on one knee, took his girlfriend’s left hand in his right and laid the ring in the middle of his left palm.

  Starry gasped. “Are you proposing?”

  He winked. “Just practicing.”

  He kissed the back of her hand and slid the ring onto her finger. She disappeared inside and the ring fell into his palm.

  “That was the gayest thing I’ve seen in my life, dude.”

  Spence was leaning against the giant, entwined tree, amusement and disgust etched on his face at the same time.

  “How is marrying a girlfriend gay?” Yoshi shot back.

  “You know what I mean,” Spence grunted. “Why would you even consider locking yourself to one girlfriend for the rest of your life right now?” He pushed himself off and walked towards him. “Once you do that, you’re done. She becomes your wife, you have a son and she won’t let you have loads of irresponsible sex with every girlfriend you see anymore.

  Yoshi stood up and put Starry’s ring into his belt. “Find your OP girlfriend?”

  “Nah. Leveled up Moxie and got some EXP into Vara.”

  “Hey, I caught a Lifee, can you show me her GF-wiki entry?”

  “What the Frank happened to yours?”

  Yoshi took a breath. Think about the reward, Yosh. He gave a quick and dirty rundown of the events of the Celeste Caverns. By the end, Spence’s eyebrows were so far up they were in danger of disappearing into his blond hair.

  “So Tozuck managed to get into the pants of an OP huh? Once I get that Scardino, that’ll be me too.”

  Yoshi grunted. He had chosen to leave out the details of the cave bat menage-a-trois with Suzy and her mother. Probably for the best.

  He scrolled through his GF-wiki. “Alright, let me find… here it is.”

  Name: Lifee

  Entry #: 74

  Species: Leaf Maiden

  Type: Grass/Poison

  Nature: Playful

  Rarity: *

  Whereever there are trees
, there are Lifee. Leading a largely hedonistic lifestyle, they are known to be community builders and maintainers of harmony. The poison they secrete is used to deter intruders to their homes.

  ‘Community builders’, huh? Yoshi pulled out his fifth ring and inspected it:

  NAME: Lifee (Arlif)

  LEVEL: 15

  HP: 2/61

  Sheesh, no wonder I couldn’t see anything in her HP bar.

  He took a Potion out and released her at the same time. The Lifee stumbled and Yoshi caught her with one arm.

  “Here.” Yoshi offered the healing agent to her. She clasped the bottle by its neck and downed it.

  NAME: Lifee (Arlif)

  NATURE: Playful

  TYPE: Grass/Poison

  ACC.: NIL

  LEVEL: 15

  HP: 32/61

  - ATTACK: 17

  - DEFENCE: 14

  - SPCL ATTACK: 15

  - SPCL DEFENCE: 15

  - SPEED: 15

  MOVESET:

  Nettle Sting 24/25 PP (Fires poison barbs in one direction that secrete a venom of varying efficacy. 40% chance of Poison.)

  Shoulder Charge 30/30 PP (Ram foes with your shoulder)

  She sighed and raised her face to Yoshi. “Are you nice?”

  “Errr… I’d like to think so.”

  Lifee stood up, a lot steadier now. “You’re nice.”

  “Thanks.” He took the empty potion bottle from her, “Arlif – that’s your preferred name? May I call you that?”

  She shrugged, her poncho rising and falling. “Can I call you Potionguy?”

  “Uhh… sure. Listen, would you say you know the girlfriends in the Glasshouse pretty well?”

  “Mmhmm!” she said, nodding happily.

  Yoshi exchanged a look with Spence. “Cool. Have you met a girlfriend called Scardino?”

  Arlif’s smile faded. She took a couple steps back, eyes darting between Yoshi and Spence. “What do you want to do with her?”

  “We want to ca–hrngh!”

  “Dude, I told you not to stand behind me. I can’t control my leg twitch.” Yoshi didn’t know what he was more surprised by: his ability to land a kick square in Spence’s stomach blind, or the majestic bullshit of a lie he just pulled out of nowhere. Arlif snorted, doing her best to smother her laughter.