"Hey," I breathed as his hands began to massage the tender parts of my upper body, "I didn't tease you with words." I grunted, now getting frustrated with how I was no longer the one in control.
"I'm not you." He laughed, pulling my shirt over my head completely, his eyes immediately running over the exposed parts of my body.
"I'm not being the first undressed!" I laughed, trying to hide my embarrassment and self-consciousness. I flipped him back over, and laughed at how big the tent in his pants was. I'd admit I was a bit nervous, but .. hey, isn't everybody?
I put my teeth on the hem of his smirfs, and began to pull them down slowly. I wasn't sure if I'd done it right, but I heard that it was a turn on for men, so I did it the only way I thought I could. I made sure to pull my head up to pull the cloth over his erection, as not to disturb him more, and to tease him a bit. I smirked slightly when his hips bucked lightly as my face past his penis.
"Oh, jeez, c'mon already!" He flipped me back over, his smirk condescending, yet trusting. I really wanted to know if I was doing okay; to be able to read minds, if only for a moment. Was I going too far with the teasing? Or was I not doing it enough? Was I pretty enough for him? Or too pretty?
"Chill out." I giggled, hoping that it didn't sound as nervous as I felt. I wasn't absolutely sure it was nerves that were constricting my stomach, but I knew some of it was something a lot different.
"Mmm." He mocked me, and began to kiss and grope at my breasts. It was an odd sensation, that I hadn't felt before; my dad never really went into pleasure, he just did it, and got it over with. We were basically fuck buddies, but ... grossly as such; illegally; unwillingly in one party.
A moan passed my slightly open lips, and a small smile came to my face. He was trying to make me feel good too. It wasn't just me. That was a new sensation as well.
He slowly brought his lips from my now erected nipples down toward my stomach, leaving little butterfly kisses all over my abdomen, and lower; until he got to the hemline of my pants. Oh God, this is really happening.
I felt the button of my pants being undone, then heard the weird “Zzzzzz” noise the zipper made. I heard them fall to the floor, and then I felt a hand massaging my lower regions. My eyes widened slightly, and then closed. Wow, this is a bit weird …
I grabbed Justan’s chin, pulling him up to kiss me, discovering that he wasn’t massaging it; he was kissing it! Ew!
I pushed him away quickly and looked at him as if he were insane.
“What?” He laughed, seeming nervous.
“You …” I couldn’t think of any words to voice how I felt, or what I thought. Odd. Weird. Gross…? “It …” Different. New. Disturbing…. ? “Kissed …” Wow, I felt really stupid at that moment. No words; no sentences; word vomit moment. “Ewe…” All he did was chuckle at me, and pull me into his embrace; causing me to feel his erection again. Wow…. I almost sighed, but held it in alright.
“You’ve never had someone do that to you before?” I slowly shook my head, trying to think of all the men I was forced with ... Not one had put their mouth near my …. Err …. “Well, new experiences are good,” he laughed softly, then brought his lips to my ear, “if you get to make me feel good, then I get to make you feel good.” My breath caught, only making him laugh again; in my ear this time.
I turned and decided to finally look at him. He was naked, exposed, this was my chance. My eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. He was effin’ hot! Not to be superficial .. But ... Dayum. His abs, I’d taken in; all his muscles, I got; his biceps, triceps, whatever-the-hell-you-call-them-ceps, I caught sight of. But … he had nice legs, although hairy, but I’d prefer he didn’t shave them .. That’d be kinda … weird. He was strong everywhere, had muscle everywhere, and he was nicely equipped, if you catch my drift. I heard him laughing again, pulling me out of yet another drool fest; only this time, I had the guts to actually say something.
“What? You can look but I can’t?” I laughed back, it coming out as a husky-type laugh, it was actually pretty creepy too. He shook his head, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips.
“Have at it.” I grinned at him, ideas of what that sentence gave me permission to without him even realizing it running through my head. So, I brought my face down, and just took him in my mouth; just like that. No games, no hesitation, just straight forward and blunt.
I heard him gasp in surprise, and then his hips shifted. So, I picked my head back up off of his.
“What? Oh, you meant have at looking … No touching?” I laughed at the look on his face. He didn’t think that I had no idea what sex was did he? Did he think that I was completely innocent besides what I had no choice to give away? Psssh, hell no.
I decided to take advantage of his shocked state, and begin. So, I went back down on him, and began to slowly bob my head, waiting for him to respond.
It didn’t take long before his hips gave a light buck into my mouth. That’s all I needed to actually start moving my head farther down, taking the base of his member in my hand and massaging that. How did women fit the whole thing in their mouths? Maybe I just wasn’t good enough.
I heard Justan mumble something, and my eyebrows knitted in confusion, so I decided to actually suck on it. Isn’t that what you were supposed to do? Eh, who knew, not me is for sure. Then, I caught what he’d said. It was my name. Was he telling me to stop? Was I doing good? Ugh, it was so confusing for me, so I just continued, blocking all of his noises and sounds out of my head. I was waiting for him to ejaculate himself. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to actually swallow that stuff or not, so I concentrated on that, and that alone.
After a while, it didn’t seem very long to me, he bucked wildly into my mouth. It was very strange, I thought I was hurting him for a second, and then realized that he was about to .. Err… yeah. So, I just let him take care of the rest, letting him do his thing, then I took my mouth off of it and made a face. He laughed again, and said something breathlessly, but I didn’t catch it, I was still ignoring all sound.
“Hmm?”
“Swallow it.” My eyes widened and I could feel the horrified look on my face. “It’s not that bad, just do it.” I gave him a face, as if to say, ‘Yeah, and you would know, right?’; but I did as I was told nonetheless. Of course, he was right, it wasn’t all that bad, kinda gross to think that it was little babies going into my stomach, but it was just really, really salty.
“See?”
“Yeah, yeah.” I muttered, trying to shift the sheets so that he wouldn’t make me lick it up or anything. Would he do that to me though? Would he torture me that way? When I looked into his face, it looked a bit hazy, and his eyes seemed a little glazed over. What the hell was that?
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’ve just never done that before … Well .. Sort of … but not .… Umm …” I couldn’t really find words to describe what that was. I have done it; but I was in tears, and I didn’t want to, and I spit that gunk out after it was over too.
“Did you not want to?” He sounded tired, and really careless; as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
“Yeah, I kinda did. That’s what’s got me though …” He smirked and hugged me, then started kissing me, slowly pushing me on my back. I had no objections, just let him do whatever it was he wanted as I thought about what I just did. I was almost completely lost in my thoughts, until I felt a cold wind touch my “warmth”; followed by something wet. That’s when I realized that Justan wasn’t kissing me. Ew! That’s - My thoughts were interrupted by a moan that bubbled out of my throat.
What the hell was that? It felt tremendously good, but what was it that he was doing to me? Was he going to bite me or something?
I continued to hear moans escape my lips, but I didn’t really feel my voice box being used. Sort of like an out of body experience. I could feel it all, but I was basically watching it all happen, not really registering it; just feeling it.
I felt my back arch, and I finally seemed to be in
my own body. I was overwhelmed by this great feeling. It’s difficult to explain. It was sort of like my muscles in my pants’ line tightening; but it wasn’t a painful tight, it was a pleasurable tighten. Like I said, it’s hard to explain. I heard Justan’s name come out of my mouth, and it confused me. Why was I saying his name? Impulse?
A sigh left my lips at nearly the same time one left Justan’s. He came up and kissed me, beginning to touch me again. Were we going to start all over? I was actually getting tired.
I felt a bulge hit my thigh as he spread my legs and put himself between them; that answered my question. We were actually going to do it. No more foreplay.
“You ready?” I sent him an odd look. Why would he ask me that, I wasn’t a virgin. I smiled softly at him after I decided to just roll with it, and nodded. He slowly entered my body, and just sat there. Why wouldn’t he move? Was he going to do that thing my dad did?
A picture of him passed my vision, and I trembled. What the hell was that?
Slowly, Justan moved out, then back in. Was he going to do it?
Another clip of my dad passed, but this time, I was beneath him.
He was making a rhythm now, in and out, in and out.
Then, a vision of my dad the first night he took my innocence stayed glued in my mind as Justan kept his pace. Slow and steady.
My dad laid me down on his bed. The one him and my mom used to share. What was I doing in here? I wasn’t allowed in here.
I just closed my eyes, thinking he had kissed me earlier for nothing, it was just a slip up; he mistook me for mom. It had been a whole month since she’d passed away, and he was coping well. I was about to fall into my dreams, when I felt a hand touching me.
My eyes shot open, and I saw my dad, without a shirt on, starting to take mine off.
“Hey! No! Stop!” I didn’t want him to touch me that way! Mom always told me my virginity was a gift; it was a gift for the man that would eventually have my heart. That wasn’t my dad! He had my mom’s heart; besides, that was disgusting! I tried to thrash and kick, but a knife was pulled from somewhere and held to my throat.
“Quit moving, don’t make another noise; or I’ll kill you. Then, you can leave me all alone, just like your mother did.” My breath stopped, and I froze completely. He was serious; he was going to kill me. So, I just sat there, like a stiff board, watching him take my clothes off; then his own. He wasn’t as old and wrinkly as I had pictured him to be without a shirt, but seeing his genitals was just a little too much for me.
Without any warning, something was shoved into me.Ouch!A tear sprang from my eye, but I stayed still nonetheless. And he just sat there. Was that how it was done? It was just shoved in there and pow, that’s it?
My silent question was answered as I felt him shift, and then he was moving; slowly, but he was still moving, and all hell did it hurt. My tears from the pain were slowly decreasing, and it didn’t hurt as bad, it actually started to feel a bit good. That thought made me feel disgust of myself.
Suddenly, a sharp pain hit my insides, and I saw my dad’s face; pure bliss. He’d just shoved his peeter into my body! Crapola did that hurt! More tears came, this time pouring out of my eyes; still, I kept quiet, biting my lip to keep my sobs from being heard. I really didn’t want to die, not just yet.
“Oh,” my “dad” panted, “suck it up!” His pace quickened, and the pain increased every time he went in, every time he sped up, a wave of pain and shock coursed through my lower regions.
After what felt like forever, my body was burning, and my “dad” was getting dressed.
“You stay in here until you’re all cleaned up. Then come out and make me dinner.” I just nodded my head, my wide eyes not leaving the same spot on the ceiling that they were on throughout all my torture. For hours, I just lay there, pain still running through my body. What had he just done to me?
My eyes widened once I was back in reality, and Justan’s pace wasn’t slow and steady. No, it was quick, as quick as his short breaths; he was panting, and I was … moaning? I had zoned out into my thoughts so far, that I hadn’t realized that we were actually having sex, that I was crying, and that Justan’s eyes were closed, and he was obviously enjoying himself.
Deciding I wanted to push the memories from my mind, I turned him over; his eyes opened and he looked at me curiously, before noticing my tears. His face conveyed worry, and I just rolled my eyes; I began to move my hips. He grunted, and grabbed at my waste. I just continued to move, slowly at first, before his hands trailed down to my hips and the moved me. It felt amazing; nothing like my dad, far from it actually. And it was my choice. That thought made my adrenaline pulse; then it made its way through my body.
I felt something wet gush into my body, but I wasn’t finished, I could almost feel it; almost feel that bliss that I’ve been waiting for, for so long.
I continued to buck my hips, until a wave coursed through my body. This time, it wasn’t pain, but pure pleasure. A loud moan left my mouth; it took me a minute to realize that moan was Justan’s name. I looked down to see a smiling Justan. Oh, he was so gorgeous. I smiled back, and slid off of him, lying down next to him.
It took not 5 seconds for him to pull my body against his own, and that’s how we slept. I was in his arms, and we had just made love to each other. This was all going so perfect.
“I love you.”
“So I’ve heard.” My giggle rang through the room, and Justan hugged me to his body before nuzzling into my hair and falling asleep. I was on the edge of my subconscious, when a thought passed my head, right before I gave into the hazy dreams.
Matt.
Chapter 52
My eyes fluttered open, and I rolled over with a sigh, not needing any time to remember last night. It was the first time in my life I'd had sex and it didn't involve sad tears, chains, bounds, or incest. It was perfect.
When I landed on just the cool mattress, and not Justan's chest, my eyes shot open completely and I looked around, confused. Where'd he go? My heart dropped when the thought of him leaving because he'd gotten what he wanted crossed my mind.
Maybe he had some stuff to do and didn't want to wake you up. My eyes narrowed, and I rolled back over to look at the clock. 12:14, it glowed, not 3 seconds later, it was 12:15. I looked for the little dot to tell me it was A.M., but it wasn't there.
Why do you always have to be right? I got up and rolled out of the bed and began to put clean clothes on; I needed a shower, but I figured I could get one later. Secretly, I was glad that Tiffany was right; it meant that he might actually care.
You're welcome. Smug, as always, was her response.
I laughed lightly, pulling a hair bow from my bag and tying my hair up loosely. Then began to walk down the halls, my stomach growling; it was time for brunch. I decided when I got to the stairs, that I wasn't going to risk tripping, so I just slid down the banister, laughing once I hit the bottom with my butt.
"Oh! What? Who's hurt?"
"Clair!" I rushed up and hugged her. "Oh my! I owe you a birthday party! You're sixteen!" My eyebrows knitted but my smile stayed. "But you've been sixteen, so it's got to be special." My smile widened, and my eyebrows let up.
"Are you .. okay? Feeling sick?" The back of her cold hand touched my forehead, and I didn't even flinch!
"Just the opposite!" I squealed, a giggle in my voice.
Claireese just stared at me for a long moment before her mouth opened into an "0" shape, and her face turned red. "Oh! Oh gosh, okay!" I laughed and hugged her. "So he took your ...."
"Nope," I chirped, her comment cheering me up just that much more, "but he is the first I've willingly been with!" Her eyes widened, but my smile just grew. Nothing, nobody could wipe that goofy grin off my face.
"You mean, you were .... By who?!" Her sentence changed when she caught my head nod. My grin remained.
"My dad, and I couldn't tell you how many of his friends!" She was slack jawed for a while before I decided to push her mouth shut
; my cheeks were staring to hurt. "But don't you see? That makes it just that much more special! I chose to do it. My own choice!" I beamed, my smile growing; if possible. I felt like the Cheshire cat; poor guy, had to smile like that all the time.
"Oh...kay...." She was taking it all in. "So, what are you doing down here then?"
"Well, I woke up, and he wasn't there so -"
"Oh! I was supposed to give you this." Now she was grinning as she gave me a little stick-it note.
"Lil', I had to go with my mom to meet up with someone. Behave yourself,
Justan." I giggled slightly, and looked back up at Clair; who was eying me curiously, her head tilted slightly to the left.
"What?"
"What'd you say you were doing down here?"
"Oh, yeah! Umm, well, I -" my stomach made a gurgling noise -" that's why." I laughed as Clair giggled. I smiled at her, and she gave me a bewildered expression before walking toward the kitchen, me following quickly behind her.
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