That’s just how it is.
But -
“Okay, we’re here.” I heard the driver’s door open and close before my door was suddenly opened; I barely had my seat belt off before I was pulled out. Ouch.
“Are you okay?” Justan’s jaw as clenched, and his chocolate brown hair was covering the rest of his face so that I couldn’t see it.
“Fine, lets go.” My chest began to ache as if someone had put very heavy lifting weights on me. What did I do?
Chill, maybe a thought he had upset him. I kept trying to think about what I could have done; also trying to listen to Tiffany, and just “chill”.
As his pace quickened, so did mine; although it was insanely difficult with a broken leg. Yet again, I whimpered as I stumbled on the dead weight of my unusable appendage. Justan stopped and turned to me; I could see his face now, it was in a soft expression, before he pulled it into a cold mask.
I was lifted into his arms as he continued to the swings. My breathing and heartbeat accelerated as I felt his warm, sweet smelling breath his my face. My eyes fixed on his lips and I got light headed from the want for a second.
Just go for it.
I can’t…
Sure you can. I could hear a smile in that head voice of mine. Who did she remind me of? It was somebody I knew once, but who?
I bowed my head slightly, and laid on his shoulder. With a content sigh, I closed my eyes.
Not long after I’d decided to just relax, something shifted, and I was moving oddly.
I looked up, and Justan’s face was right there, staring into mine. My breathing stuttered, and my eyes went slightly wide.
“Why do you do that?” His breath his my face like a hot summer breeze; and boy, oh boy did that feel good.
“Do what?” I decided to put my head back on his shoulder after coming to the conclusion that we were swinging.
“Why do you stop breathing sometimes?” He was so naïve and innocent sometimes, it was cute. My breath caught again, and my stomach attempted not to fall out my butt.
“What?”
“Why do you do that; just stop breathing?” Why did I do it? What could I tell him? ‘Oh, you’re just so amazingly beautiful, it makes my heart stutter, and then I can’t breath.’ No.
Yes; just be honest.
I thought you didn’t like him.
I think Matt is cooler, but that’s just my opinion, we aren’t the same person; besides, you like him, and you know it too, you admitted it.
“You.”
“Huh?”
“You’re the reason why.” I couldn’t believe I was telling him that, but what did I have to loose?
“What did I do?” So naïve…
“You make me nervous.”
“So you stop breathing?”
“Sometimes.”
“And others?” Oh God, don’t make me say it ….
“My heart speeds up so fast that it hurts.” I didn’t realize it was true until it came out of my mouth; it did hurt sometimes.
“Oh, so what do you think would happen if I did .. This …” He lifted my face back up off his shoulder, and planted his lips right on top of mine.
Chapter 49
My lungs pushed a content sigh out of my body. I’d have to say that day at the park had to have been the best day I’ve ever had at a park; ever. After making out, willingly, with Justan, we went for a walk. I laughed so much I tripped; after that, my leg began to throb so we went back to the swings at the park, and Justan got some cotton candy. Boy, that was fun. Then he decided that we should head back home to clean all of the fluffy mess off.
“You okay?” I twisted my head to see Justan staring intently at the road, as if he were nervous.
“Yeah. My leg is throbbing a bit, but it was beyond worth it.” I smiled brightly at him until he looked at me and back to the road with a smile of his own.
Now do you regret being honest?
Thank you.
Huh?
Thank you. For making me realize who it was that I really cared about, and who Tracie cared about. I see now that Matt was my way to hold onto her.
No. You’ve had her all along. You just didn’t see it.
Huh?
Do I remind you of anybody?
My eyebrows knitted and my nose scrunched. Who the hell did she remind me of? Then a person who I would have never guessed crossed my mind. She was harsh, criticizing, sarcastic; but at the same time, loving, gentle, and understanding. But it couldn’t have been her.
Tracie …
Bingo.
My eyes widened and my breath stopped all together.
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah.” My answer was breathless. This couldn’t have been what I was thinking.
“Then what’s the matter?”
“Thinking.” His jaw audibly tightened along with his hands on the steering wheel.
“What about this time?”
“Tiffany.”
“Oh. Okay.” He relaxed, and let me alone; that made me happy that he would respect me enough to do that for me, just let me talk to her alone.
It’s not what you’re thinking. I’m not Tracie, I’m Tiffany.
Then, how -
When your mom died, you felt completely alone, and hurt. So your psyche made something, or someone in this case, that was like something that was important to you, that was comforting, to help cope with that; me. Just so happens, my attitude was formed from your memories of your best friend, who also passed away tragically.
This is confusing.
Tell me about it.
So, for the rest of the ride, I sat and digested all the new information. What I got was that I had a friend when I was younger (Tracie) who was my “chosen friend” and also who became my best friend. She cared about Matt, and I cared about Justan. When I finally showed interest for Matt, she died.
Then, I began to grow up, caring for Justan, and Matt nearly fell out of the picture completely. That was, until my mom interfered (I guess she wanted me to have options); I saw Matt more, andJeremie Justan less. Then, my mom died.
Later on, Justan came back into my life, followed by Matt. I figured out that the only reason I was hanging onto Matt so strongly was because he had that familiar air about him that reminded me of Tracie. Now that I knew that I didn’t necessarily need her, I knew that I wanted Justan more.
Then, it turned out my mind subconsciously made a person in my head that kept me reminded of Tracie, even though I didn’t remember who she was when I was conscience; Tiffany.
Okay, not so confusing; but what was with my loved ones dieing whenever I got close to Matt? That was weird, now that I had thought about it.
“We’re here.” Justan’s voice wasn’t a whisper, but it wasn’t his normal volume, which worried me.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” Still with the mumbling like voice.
“What’s the matter?”
“Are you thinking about Matt?” That’s not an answer .. But okay….
“No.”
“Then who are you thinking about?” Wow, this is weird.
“My mom.” I choked up slightly before closing my eyes and breathing deeply.
“Oh! I’m sorry, don’t cry.” He didn’t seem to say anything about my mom, or how he missed her too; he just hugged me to his body tightly.
“It’s fine.” I sighed, melting into his embrace; I’d figure it all out later.
Chapter 50
“It was Professor Plum in the Hall with the Revolver.” Justan’s deadpan voice made the suspense pretty much die, but my adrenaline still pumped as he picked up the Confidential File and glanced over the cards. As he spread the cards out on the game board, my heart dropped to my stomach. He won again!
“Okay! That is the twelfth time in a row! You have to be cheating!” I shouted, shoving out of my chair and walking up to him.
“No darling, he’s just really good at this game.” Daneese muttered, laying her
cards down and watching me with amusement.
“But he did this with chess too!” Justan just smirked up at me as he sat in his chair, the same amusement playing in his eyes as Daneese’s. “Do you read minds or something?” I glared playfully at him.
“No,” he laughed, standing up and pinching my nose softly.
“He’s just really smart, just like his father.” Justan tensed and Daneese went quiet all the sudden, as if she had said the wrong thing and hadn’t meant to.
His dad; where was that guy? I knew that I’d met him before; a long time ago.
“I don’t care how smart he is! Even if I have to search him, I’m going to find out how he cheats!” His dad would have to wait, now wasn’t the time; I was having fun!
I began to move my hands over him like I’ve seen cops do; all the tenseness left the room, and amusement replaced it again.
I touched on his hip as I got lower in my (innocent) search and he grunted. I looked up into his face, and saw a warning that said if I kept it up, I’d get something that I didn’t want. But, I was pretty sure I knew what that something was; I was also pretty sure that I wanted that something. It had been almost a week and a half since the park, and I missed physical contact.
So, I continued to trail my hands, my movements no longer innocent, but sultry and seductive. Another grunt came from him as I touched his thigh, slowly moving inwards.
Faintly, I heard the scrape of a chair, and then heels clinking on the tile floor exiting the “game” room.
My hand continued to trail in, testing my limits, before I began to move up also. I heard a growl like sound, before being pulled up into a rough, sensual kiss. So rough, actually, that I had to back up. Slowly, I began to feel something against the back of my legs; before I felt myself being full out laid on the table, the Clue board game toppling to the floor.
By now, my breaths were short and quick. My hands moved up his chest, and my fingers worked rapidly, fiddling with the buttons on his nice, black button up shirt. It wasn’t going to be so nice if it irritated me too much more.
Justan’s lips trailed from my own, leaving a tingly line of kisses down my jaw and to my neck. My breaths quickened even more, and my legs wrapped around his midsection.
“Are you sure,” he kissed my neck again, making a very much known feeling in the pit of my stomach, causing me to moan, “You want to do this?” He continued to attack that one spot.
“In here,” I panted, a moan seeping in along with my breaths, “no. Your room,” another moan came out along with my last word, “yes.”
Quickly, I was lifted off the table, and my lips were the target of his kissing attack once again. I could’ve walked, considering my leg was better, but I guess that was how people who both care about each other did it; the girl was carried.
By the time we were in his room, I’d heard many doors open, a few hoots, hollers, and even a couple wolf whistles. I was gently set on the bed with one last, lingering kiss before I heard the door close, and a click that followed.
I sat up quickly, and my eyes shot open. What’s he going to do to me? Weren’t we talking about the same thing downstairs? When he turned around, my jaw slacked slightly. Somehow, I had accomplished in opening his shirt, and I was far from disappointed.
His laughed stopped my drool fest, and I looked back up to his face, remembering that he locked the door. “What?” he laughed again. My eyes darted quickly to the door and back; his eyes followed mine.
“Would you rather someone walk in on us?” Yes. He quickly caught on.
“Oh! Oh, no, no, no! I wouldn’t hurt you Lil! That is not why I locked the door.” He was cradling my body to his in an instant. I felt his erected … err … member, and thought about the door again. My dad would always lock the door so I couldn’t get out or leave.
“What he did to you was wrong.” His jaw tightened, and his muscles flexed, trying not to crush me. “If you don’t want to do this anymore, say so now.” That brought me back.
I quickly turned in his lap, my knees then on either side of his crossed legs.
“I want this,” I muttered breathlessly before attacking his lips.
Chapter 51
My body seemed to move on its own as my lips covered every surface of skin I saw. His lips, his cheeks, his jaw, neck, chest, lower, and lower.
After many moans and grunts later, I kissed the bridge of his jeans. He had a happy trail! It was adorable.
“Wait!” He sat up quickly, much to my dismay. I was really excited, ready for this. The first time in my life I’ve ever had the choice to have sex.
“What?” I groaned, impatience coursing through me.
“Whoa, okay. Are you positive that you want to do this… Let alone, that?”
“What?” I smiled up at him mischievously. I wanted to hear him say it, I wanted to hear what he thought I was going to do …
“Umm,” he cleared his throat, “what do you call it?” I just looked at him with a coy smirk and shook my head. “Blowjob.” He coughed. I giggled, rolling my eyes and going back to what I was doing.
“Nugh…don’t...you…shouldn’t…ungh.” His “deep sighs”, as some people call them, sounded a bit odd as he tried to protest me pulling his pants down over the tent in his boxers.
“Hmm,” I decided I’d tease him, like those girls did on those porn movies my dad would make me watch; I did have experience, so I couldn’t be that bad.
I moved my body up, making sure to grind it against his erection as I did so, before kissing him, shoving my tongue in his mouth without permission. This only caused Justan to grab my hips and shove them roughly against his own. Man, did that feel good; a very loud moan moved from my lungs and into his mouth, causing him to grunt. Did he like it? Or was that just a disappointed grunt? I was really afraid that I wasn't good enough for him, that he'd had better; my thoughts caused me to try harder to please him.
I slid my body back down his, though mine was still clothed completely, and his pants were missing, and half his shirt (it was unbuttoned and laying around him). I made sure to run my hands softly along his skin, feeling him tremble beneath me made me grin. My fingers passed every ridge and crevice of his toned stomach; abs, oh yeah.
"Will ya stop it?" He panted. He was out of breath? Oh wow, will he last through the whole thing? I laughed at Tiffany, hoping, deep down, that she'd go away for the moment, just give me that bit of privacy. Okay, okay, I can take a hint, sheesh!
"Stop what?" I murmured, kissing the brim of his boxers; smirfs. He wore smirf boxers!
"That!" It was hilarious; I was actually getting what I wanted, the way I wanted it to be given to me.
"Umm, nah, I think I won't, I'm having too much fun." I giggled into his lower abdomen, causing him to chuckle. Ticklish?
I moved my hands up his sides, pretending to be serious, making him shiver beneath my touch; right before I began to wiggle my fingers, and tickle him.
"Oh no! Hahahahaha! Oh God; don't do that! You're going to ruin the whole moment!" He laughed, and I mean actually laughed; for the very first time. I brought my face up to his ear, hearing his pants in mine, this was fun.
"But I just love your laugh, it's adorable." I heard that same playful growl I heard in the "game" room, before I was flipped over, and thrown out of my control over him.
"And I have yet to hear you laugh that much." He grinned mischievously at me, moving his hands down my sides, following the curves I'd acquired while living with him. Oh boy. My insides shivered before my outs as his hands moved up my shirt after reaching my hips.
"I'm gonna show you." He growled again. Man, did I love the sound of that, it was an actual turn on; who would've thought?
"Mmm." Was all I could get out without making a noise that showed him he was winning; he wasn't going to win.
His soft, cool hands moved slowly from my stomach to my back, trailing up to my bra. What the hell is he doing? I heard the faint click that my bra strap often made, and my eyes bulg
ed slightly.
"What," he laughed, his sweet, hot breath hitting my face, causing that want to hit me again, "you thought I was the only one going to loose clothes here?" His laughed intoxicated me, filling me with want, causing heat to crash in my lower abdomen. My head moved from side to side weakly.
"Awe, what's the matter? Can't keep up?" He laughed again, causing my head to spin slightly; I wanted him, right then, right there.
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