I Am Gamer

by Gabriel L Rathweg

  What did that mean? It took my sleep and booze addled brain a minute but than I got it, the witch wasn’t dead. Just then my Danger Sense flared to life and I dove forward just as something hard and sharp sliced into my backside. My leap was just in time and I flew over the fire landing in a role and coming up on the balls of my feet in a fighter’s stance.

  “Hello lover boy.” The Skudakumooch hissed licking glistening red blood from her filth encrusted talons.

  I reached behind me with one hand feeling a trickle of blood across the small of my back. The fur blanket sat bisected on either side of the monster. Phew, good thing that bear had thick hide. Thanks to that the slice across my back wasn’t super deep.

  “You and I have unfinished business.” She said her sibilant scratchy voice like nails on a chalkboard to my ears.

  TRACK 43 – BAD ROMANCE – LADY GAGA

  I studied the evil bitch by the light of the fire as she sucked my blood from her talons. She was just as hideous as before if not more so. Her skin was wrinkled and papery thin. It was the color of ash, a light gray that let her veins pulsing with glowing green blood show through. Her eyes were black chips of obsidian surrounding glowing red pupils. The hair that was left on her head, strings barely covering her balding scalp, looked like brown green dreadlocks covered in filth and detritus.

  The little clothing she wore hung over her emaciated and desiccated form. I felt like I was looking at the Crypt Keepers older uglier sister. I shuddered and took a deep breath getting my shit together. So what she didn’t die the first time. She would die this time.

  “You’re right you ugly bitch we do have unfinished business.” I said grinning. “Not only did you pick the wrong guy to fight with but the wrong place as well. You’re surrounded by my people.”

  She began chuckling softly and slowly at first but then she tossed her head back and began cackling at the top of her lungs. It was like the nails on the chalkboard thing times ten. If nails on a chalkboard were a laugh and the Nanny was doing it. Then just as quickly as she started she stopped and snapped her head back down locking eyes with me. Her glare was fierce and sly at the same time.

  “Oh you stupid little human…” She hissed then a huge smile broke out over her skeleton face. “What makes you think I’m alone?”

  Shouts, screams, and roars began coursing through the night all around us. From our yurt I could see most of our tiny village and by the torches still burning from the festival light was cast all around. Big and small figures streaked around launching into yurts causing the screams and roars. I processed all this information in less than a second just as the Ghost-Witch leapt at me over the fire.

  I dodged to the right rolling as both her clawed hands missed me slicing the air in the space I had been. Popping up to my feet just in time to see Moon Flower burst out of the entranceway to our yurt both my Ka-Bar and Fowler in her hands. She didn’t even hesitate as she took the scene in and tossed the Ka-Bar to me.

  “Go help the rest of the tribe!” I called, catching the knife in the air and dropping into my Nepalese Gurka fighting stance.

  She hesitated for a moment looking between me and the witch. Then more screams and roars punctuated the night.

  “Kill the ugly hag.” She said, nodding at me and then running off to help the rest of the villagers.

  “Die!” The witch screamed jumping at me again.

  I activated Imbue Flame and my knife erupted with fire. I blocked the first strike and dodged the second. We fought back and forth moving around the fire. The Skudakumooch was fast, strong, and cunning as fuck I’ll give her that. It took all of my new bodies strength, athleticism, and meager skills to block her rapid attacks. But I was no slouch either though. I accepted cuts here and there and struck out with my knife scoring hits of my own. We continued our fight neither of us gaining the upper hand.

  After a particularly vicious exchange, where we both scored deep hits on the other, we jumped back and faced off a few feet in between us. My health was down to less than half. I didn’t need to check my screens I just innately knew. My MP was also getting low, almost less than a third. It was time to end this.

  “Things aren’t like they were before. Now all my people have weapons imbued with fire magic. They aren’t scared of you anymore. The monsters like you, those from this old world, all of your days are numbered. Humans are top of the food chain now mother fucker.” I said mocking the Ghost-Witch.

  “You will die human. We will kill you. You will never win.” She hissed.

  “Yeah but you won’t be around to see it.” I replied. “Now Freak!”

  My tiger had gotten into position around behind the witch and attacked on my command. He pounced on the monster. His half ton of weight smashing her down to the ground as his two inch long claws and his massive fangs tore into her. I didn’t hesitate and flew forward dropping down, my flaming blade leading the way. Using my weight I pushed down parting her head from her body once again.

  The screams had changed from ones of panic to those of anger and rage. The roars had also become different now sounding like the last cries of dying monsters.

  My Danger Sense had gone quiet as I made the rounds of the camp. The Skudakumooch had brought a couple dozen Teihiihan and Wendigo along for the attack. At first they had surprised the sleeping tribesman and there were losses. But, with the new magical hatchets and kukris the tide had quickly shifted and The People fought back killing all of the attacking monsters.

  The air stank of burning monster. We had thrown all the Teihiihan, Wendigo, and the Skudakumooch’s body especially, into one large burning pile of corpses.

  “One of my kin will revenge me.” The witch hissed.

  “Saves me the work of finding them hope they come quick.” I said grinning at the Ghost-Witch’s severed head. Then I tossed it, still shrieking at me, on the fire pit to join her already burning body.

  After making sure all the monsters were dead and burning we retrieved our dead. Bringing them to the Chief’s yurt where the whole tribe had gathered. Moon Flower dropped off Winston’s back, where she had been fighting from during the battle, and we hugged as I came up. After our embrace I looked around at the bodies lying in rows. Almost half the tribe had been hurt in some way and a third had been killed, that included the Jicarilla.

  Twenty bodies were arranged in positions of rest while their family and friends cried and mourned them. Chief Running Hawk stood up tall and began addressing The People.

  “Tonight was supposed to be a night of celebration. Instead it has become a night of loss.” He paused for a moment as all eyes turned to him. “We have suffered the death of too many of our kin. Since the Great Suffering it has been loss after loss. Yet we survive. We survive and we grow stronger. We learn from our loss each time and it makes us stronger. Our strength comes from our loss, our unity, and our determination.”

  The People had stopped sobbing yet tears still flowed here and there. They stood tall and listened to the Chief with rapt attention. I was no exception. He gestured at me as he continued.

  “With this man’s help, our new War Shaman, we were able to defeat and destroy monsters of legend. Monsters that have hunted us and killed us for generations we killed them instead, wielding weapons made by our new Shaman.” He roared, holding up a Fiery Hatchet in one hand and a Fiery Kukri in the other. The crowd cheered as he raised his weapons. He waited for it to quiet down before continuing. “With our War Shaman’s help we also know who caused the Great Suffering and it is now our duty to avenge our people and all the others who have died. Tonight we mourn and bury our dead. Tomorrow we stand up strong and get to work.”

  Quiet answered him but I could sense the mood and hardened resolve had replaced sadness and sorrow. With nods of determination and approval The People turned to the task before them. No one wanted to have to lay their friends and loved one to rest but it needed to be done. The Chief and his family joined in the grave task with the people placing the bodies of the dead t
ribesmen on the funeral pyre. I didn’t hold back either. I was one of The People now and I would mourn with them.

  We were done quickly and everyone went to turn in for the night except for the guards the Chief and I had decided to start posting from now on. Moon Flower and I were laying in our yurt together covered in dirt and grime, blood and viscera, but too tired to care. This night we both really were too exhausted both mentally and physically to fool around. I was just about to drift off to sleep when I noticed my periphery blinking. I knew it would bug me but I decided to check my messages before I fell asleep.

  EXPERIENCE ASSESSED… 400 EXPERIENCE GAINED… 200 EXPERIENCE GAINED BY FIANCE… 250 EXPERIENCE GAINED FOR EACH PET… WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEVEL UP YOURSELF, FIANCE, AND PETS… Y/N?

  “Well fuck yes I would.” I said, a little too loudly.

  TRACK 44 – D’YER MAK’ER – LED ZEPPLIN

  Moon Flower woke up at my outburst and glared at me as she elbowed me in the side to emphasis her point. As soon as I caught my breath and explained what was going on she woke up fully and joined me. She had yet to experience a level up and when I assured her it was awesome she was all on board. I clicked yes as screen after screen appeared.

  LEVEL 3 GAINED… PLUS 12 ATTRIBUTE POINTS… ASSIGN ATTRIBUTE POINTS NOW…

  I did so moving on to the next screen.

  PLUS 10 + 7(CONSTITUTION BONUS) HP… PLUS 10 + 7(WISDOM BONUS) MP… HP AND MP RESTORED TO MAX…

  Dismissing the screen the next prompt appeared

  NAME – Winston ‘Triumph’ Wrath– Mount

  PET CLASS – War Stallion – Purple – Legendary

  LEVEL – 2

  EXPERIENCE – 245/500

  HIT POINTS – 20/20

  WEAPONS – Hooves x 4, Bite x 1

  ARMOR – Natural Hide

  The Mount is the secondary animal companion to the Jack-of-all-Trades. The class only allows up to three animal companions and the mount is the second of the three. By receiving a portion of his master’s experience the mount will level up and gain skills of its own along with its master.

  New blinking words appeared as the window went opaque.

  SKILL CHOICE: 2 POINTS AVAILABLE FOR DISTRIBUTION.

  LEATHER ARMORED HIDE (Level – 1) – 1 Point needed for upgrade

  The skin of the familiar gains natural toughness allowing it to shrug off most normal blows off as if wearing a suit of leather armor.

  DOUBLE TAP (Level – 1) – 1 Point needed for upgrade

  The hooves of the War Horse are weapons of their own. By using momentum and transferring the power to its feet for a strike the power of the blow is tripled if connected.

  Next up was Moon Flower.

  FIANCE LEVEL 2 GAINED… PLUS 12 ATTRIBUTE POINTS… ASSIGN POINTS NOW…

  I glanced at Moon Flower who was looking into the air at her own screen.

  “Do you want to assign your points?” I asked her.

  “You’re damn right I do.” She replied.

  FIANCE PLUS 10 + 3(CONSTITUTION BONUS) HP… PLUS 10 + 3(WISDOM BONUS) MP… HP AND MP RESTORED TO MAX…

  I watched as her body glowed with a weak blue light then it disappeared. She looked at me with wide eyes and an expression of wonder. I chuckled at her as she stared at her body like it was brand new and then looked over my character sheets.

  NAME – Lawrence ‘Law’ Wrath

  RACE – Half Human

  ALIGNMENT – Neutral Good

  CLASS – Jack of all Trades

  TITLES EARNED – War Shaman, Master Sculptor

  EXPERIENCE – 775/2500

  LEVEL – 3

  HIT POINTS – 37/37

  MAGIC POINTS – 37/37

  FEATURES

  HEIGHT – 6’5”, WEIGHT – 275 lbs, HAIR COLOR – Black, EYE COLOR – Amber, SKIN COLOR – Bronze

  ATTRIBUTES

  STRENGTH – 7

  DEXTERITY – 7

  CONSTITUTION – 7

  INTELLIGENCE – 7

  WISDOM – 7

  CHARISMA – 7

  COMPANIONS

  Fiancé – Moon Flower – Level 2 – EXP – 201/500

  ANIMAL COMPANIONS

  Mount – Winston ‘Triumph’ Wrath – Level 2 – EXP – 320/500

  Skills: Furry Armored Hide (Level 1), Furious Roar (Level 1)

  Familiar - Westley ‘Freak’ Wrath – Level 2 – EXP – 245/500

  Skills: Leather Armored Hide (Level 1), Double Kick (Level 1)

  Next, I closed it and looked over Moon Flowers.

  NAME – Moon Flower

  RACE – Human

  ALIGNMENT – Neutral Good

  CLASS – Fiancé

  EXPERIENCE – 201/500

  Level – 2

  HIT POINTS – 23/23

  MAGIC POINTS – 23/23

  The Companions to Jack-of-all-Trades are their own entities but gain bonuses from being a companion. The Fiancé class lets both fiancés share skills and all other aspects of life. The amount increases with level. Class gets own experience and upgrades different than Jack-of-all-Trades.

  I dismissed the window and looked over at my fiancé. She was still amazed by the level up and was still looking over her body.

  “Goodnight babe.” I said, rolling over and closing my eyes.

  “What do you mean goodnight? I feel great. So great in fact…” Her voice trailed off and I felt her hands roaming over me and settling on my second brain. She began stroking me and kissing my neck.

  “Well if you insist.” I said, grinning and rolling over then pouncing on Moon Flower.

  Sometimes once is enough and after a wild and energetic first round we were both spent and quickly passed out. As usual I woke up before dawn dressed and snuck out of the tent while Moon Flower slept. It was cold outside. There was a chill wind blowing adding tot the temperature drop.

  Honestly, it was pretty damn invigorating and without coffee… god what I wouldn’t do for a hot fresh cup black as tar in my hands right now. I felt like Bob Saget in Half Baked, I’d totally suck some… nah not really. My new body was amazing and it woke pretty quickly. As a matter of fact as soon as I opened my eyes I was wide awake. I had never been a morning person but I was quickly becoming a convert.

  It was quite peaceful and no one was around so you had solitude. It was the perfect time to think. That’s what I had been doing. Last night was a wake up call. I had been treating this too much like a game. Now people had died, my people had died because of me. They would be here right now if I had gotten serious. Well that was all going to change. It was time to focus and start doing the things that needed to be done.

  There was no time like the present. I strode off purposefully towards our resource area. The pyre was on the far side of the area and I said a silent prayer as I passed by it on my way to the wood collection area. There were over a hundred clean and stripped trees and piles upon piles of planks. Good there was enough for my plan.

  I accessed my Total Recall skill and began reviewing videos of Roman Castras, or forts. They were the best engineers of their time and now I was going to make us a Roman Legionnaire Fort. The first part was the ditch and wall. The sun was up now and the rest of the tribe would be waking soon.

  I left the resource area and met up with everyone at breakfast. The mood was somber as I had expected it to be. I went over the plans for a fort with Walking Coyote and Dusk and Dawn. Again they didn’t really get the concept but I told them I’d show them. Then turning to the Chief I moved on to the next task we needed to complete.

  “Hawk, we need to go to the Jicarilla village. We need to ask the Chieftess’s permission to let Shadow Bear build with stone.” I said.

  Chief Running Hawk looked at me while he finished chewing his food.

  “That is true we do need to go not only for that but to tell of the loss of their tribesmen.” He replied somberly.

  “Of course we need to do that as well.” I did a mental face palm and continued. “We should head out today. How lon
g is the trip Shadow Bear?”

  “It will take two days there and two days back barring no interruptions.” He replied.

  “I’m going to show them what to do while we’re gone.” I said chewing on a piece of smoked elk.

  “Who is coming and who is staying?” Night Star asked.

  “I haven’t decided yet but I think a smaller group is better but big enough that we can setup watches and stuff.” I replied.

  “Just the elites I think.” Moon Flower chimed in. “We can move faster. We will be there and back quicker.”

  “That sounds good.” I said, nodding at my fiancé. “Let’s go after breakfast. Everyone meet up here with your gear when you’re done.”

  TRACK 45 – GRENADE (PASSION PIT REMIX) – BRUNO MARS, PASSION PIT

  I decided to combine the young and the old workers and put Walking Coyote in charge of them all with Dusk and Dawn as his seconds in command. I rolled the Jicarilla in there as well since we had lost so many people.

  Earlier I had placed sticks around the village at key points and pointed these out to them as I explained what I wanted done. We’d be gone for a couple days and I hoped they’d have the ditch dug around the whole village by then. Next I showed them how I wanted the new wood trees split and carved for the palisade. When I was done with that I headed to meet up with the others so we could head out.

  “Damn Winston!” I called as I saw my horse. He had grown another six inches and put even more muscle on since his level up.

  He whinnied in response and I patted his head. Freak was napping at the Chief’s yurt as well and I slapped his side on my way by. Everyone had already arrived and were wearing all there gear. Moon Flower gave me a kiss and a slap on the ass as I arrived. That brought out some grins at my expense, good we all needed to smile a bit.