Swim Deep

by BETH KERY

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” he said quickly, walking toward me even though his gaze was glued again to the road that led to South Twin.

  “Ready to head back?” I asked, turning toward the house.

  “Wait.”

  My feet froze at the terseness of his tone. He gave me a brief apologetic glance, informing me he’d been aware of how sharp he’d sounded. He came to me and put one arm around my shoulder, hugging me against him.

  “Let’s wait for them to pass.”

  “All right,” I agreed uneasily.

  I stared up at his stoic profile. I wanted to ask him if he was upset at the idea that the Madasters had been living next to us the entire time we’d been there… to inquire about how he was feeling about the fact that his one time father-in-law and apparent enemy had become so incapacitated that he was wheelchair bound, and now was headed to the hospital with a possible serious injury.

  But he seemed so preoccupied, so far away from me. I couldn’t bring myself to do it at that moment.

  The ambulance approached us silently. I had the fleeting impression that perhaps Madaster’s wounds weren’t as bad as we’d worried, because while the vehicle traveled with good speed, it was nowhere near as fast as it had when it had arrived.

  After it passed, Evan grabbed my hand and we walked into the center of the road. We stood side by side, Evan staring fixedly into the rear windows of the ambulance.

  Wes and Valeria were on the front porch waiting for us when we returned to the house. I thought they were holding hands when we first broke the tree line onto the circular drive, but couldn’t decide for certain as we got closer. Maybe it’d been a trick of the fading light. Storm clouds darkened the eastern sky.

  “How is he?” Evan asked Wes.

  “He’ll need a few stitches, but it’s his heart I was concerned about. I was about to leave, to follow the ambulance to the hospital.”

  “Does he have heart problems?” I wondered.

  “He’s had a few minor heart attacks in the past few years,” Wes said, looking uneasy.

  “Did he seem upset?” Evan asked.

  I found myself studying his profile and intent expression.

  “He seemed wound up. Tense. He wasn’t saying much by the time I got there, but that may have been because of his heart. His pulse was thready.” Wes looked distinctly uneasy. “I probably shouldn’t say anything else. Patient confidentiality and all.”

  “Did he say why he punched through that window?” I asked.

  “Anna is worried that he did it because she and Valeria were in the boathouse,” Evan said. “I told her that Noah has no right to be upset about that. The court documents clearly allocated that property and all its contents to the North Twin. Anna had every right to be in there.”

  “Maybe Noah hasn’t read through the details carefully yet,” Wes said diplomatically.

  “Since you’re still acting as his physician, and apparently you two are so close, maybe you’d be kind enough to tell him,” Evan said.

  I glanced at Evan, trying to read his expression, but found little to go on. Wes, on the other hand, seemed determined not to meet Evan’s stare.

  “I’m heading over to the hospital now. I’ll mention it to Noah, if he’s in any state to hear it.” He turned to Valeria. “I guess we should get going.”

  I volunteered to walk them out to the car, which was parked on the entry drive. On the way, Valeria told me that she’d report for work the following day at noon. She asked for the entry code for the garage. I hesitated. I felt very unsettled by the events of the afternoon. The thought had occurred to me that Valeria’s employment might be cast in doubt by the events of the last half hour. I wasn’t at all certain Evan would want to stay at Les Jumeaux, given the fact that his ex-in-laws were living next door.

  “Can I text you the code this evening? I’ve only used it a few times myself, and with everything going on, I can’t think of it at the moment.”

  I saw the flicker of uncertainty on her face. I’d never been a good liar. I realized she was probably wondering if I’d reverted back to my hostility toward the idea of Evan hiring her. I felt I owed her some kind of explanation. Or warning? As Wes got into the driver’s seat, I grabbed by Valeria by the elbow, halting her.

  “Listen, I just want to be honest with you about something,” I said quietly, trying to keep the conversation muted from Wes, who sat in the car waiting.

  “Is something wrong?” Valeria asked.

  “I don’t know for sure. It’s just that you’ve told me all about your family, and how you and your brothers look out for everyone. I know how important getting a new job is for you. I thought maybe… maybe you shouldn’t tell the other places you interviewed with that you’re unavailable just yet.”

  Valeria looked stunned. “So you’ve decided you don’t want me for the job, after all?”

  “No, it’s not that,” I said in a rush, hating this whole situation. I wasn’t used to being in a position where my opinion made the difference in the finances and well-being of an entire family. “I think you’d work out perfectly, to be honest. If we end up staying at Les Jumeaux, that is.”

  “You’re leaving?”

  “I don’t know,” I whispered, glancing at Wes’s shadow in the driver’s seat of the car. “This whole thing with Madaster might have thrown a wrench in things. Evan hadn’t realized they were living at the South Twin. These houses are so large, they’re completely separated by the landscape, and with Madaster being unable to go outside… Well, we just hadn’t realized they were here. Wes was just telling Evan the news that they’d retired here when Madaster… did what he did,” I said, grimacing at the unpleasant memory of that bloody fist of rage.

  “It’s uncomfortable.” I tried to explain. “Evan and Noah Madaster don’t get along at all. I’m not sure Evan will want to live here, knowing the Madasters are just next door.”

  “Oh, I see,” Valeria murmured.

  “I tell you what,” I said. “I call you just as soon as I speak to Evan. I promise. I wouldn’t have brought it up, but I thought it’d be better to keep you in the loop instead of surprising you with news that Evan and I might be leaving Les Jumeaux, after all. I didn’t want you to cancel with another job opportunity, at least until I can check with Evan.”

  Chapter Seven

  Evan was in the kitchen when I returned, pouring some red wine into two glasses. He handed one to me silently when I approached. I took a sip from the heavy crystal goblet and sighed.

  “What a weird day,” I said.

  “Are you all right?”

  I nodded. “Are you?”

  He gave a small smile. “I’m not the one who saw a man punch his hand through a window.”

  “No. But you did find out that your former in-laws have been living next to us since we arrived. Evan… did you know they were there?” His expression flattened. “I mean… did you even suspect it?”

  “Of course not.”

  The silence that followed seemed to swell and pulse against my eardrums. Evan took a sip of his wine and waved in the direction of the two deep leather chairs situated in front of the fireplace. We sat and set down our glasses on the table between us. I reached for his hand.

  “Do you want to leave Les Jumeaux?” I asked.

  He started slightly, as though he’d been surprised by what I thought was the most obvious unspoken question at that moment.

  “Do you?” he asked.

  I gave a little gasp of disbelief. “I don’t see how my opinion matters one way or another.”

  “Of course it does. Would it bother you? Knowing they live in the South Twin?”

  “I don’t know them, Evan. It would bother me if it bothered you. Does it? You’ve said yourself you don’t like Noah Madaster. You’ve been in a court battle with him over your
inheritance of the North Twin, and just got your rights to the property earlier this year.”

  His gaze sharpened on me. “Did I tell you that? About gaining rights to the property earlier this year?”

  I paused with my mouth hanging open. I’d been caught.

  “No. Wes only told me earlier today. Up at the overlook, while you were interviewing Valeria.”

  God, had that unsettling conversation with Wes only occurred hours ago? It seemed like weeks, so much had happened since then: Learning about Evan’s plan to hire Valeria, discovering the treasures of the boathouse, witnessing Noah Madaster punching his fist through a pane of glass in a fit of rage, finding out the Madasters were our neighbors…

  . . . Wes telling me how Lake Tahoe had swallowed up Elizabeth’s body, keeping her, and all of her secrets, for an eternity.

  The image that had haunted me for so many nights in a row—the menacing, wet figure of a woman hovering over me, opening her mouth to speak—suddenly leapt into my mind’s eye. The nightmare took on a whole new level of horror. I shivered.

  Why was Elizabeth haunting me?

  She’s haunting you because your insecurity is allowing her to do so, I told myself with frustrated annoyance. I didn’t believe in ghosts. (Did I?) But I was becoming irritatingly familiar with my lack of confidence when it came to my husband.

  “Anna? What else did Wes tell you?”

  I turned at the sound of Evan’s voice. He’d sat forward in his chair and was giving me a narrow-eyed stare. I swallowed thickly, willing away that cold, nauseated feeling that had come over me at the mere memory of that nightmare-woman.

  Elizabeth. May as well call that ghost created by your own unconscious mind what it is. She’s not real. But your insecurity is. Had Wes’s admission that her body had never been found somehow made the elusive threat of Elizabeth worse in my mind?

  “Here.”

  I blinked at Evan’s terse tone, and realized he held out my wineglass for me. I took it and drank, eager for the chance to distract myself.

  “Thanks,” I said hoarsely, setting down the glass. I took in Evan’s sharp stare, and knew he was still waiting. He was concerned, but still expected an answer.

  “Wes told me Elizabeth’s body was never found.”

  Evan didn’t move a muscle. I had the horrible thought that his handsome, compelling face appeared frozen in that moment. Lifeless.

  “I’m so sorry, Evan. That must have been awful.”

  It still must be.

  For a few seconds, I was panicked he wasn’t going to say anything, that this moment of me gazing at his frozen grief would stretch on forever. But then he nodded and leaned back in his chair, staring at the empty fireplace.

  “She was supposed to meet me out for lunch in San Francisco the day she disappeared,” he said finally. “We’d been living in San Francisco for several weeks at the time.”

  “You weren’t living here, at Les Jumeaux?”

  “No. Elizabeth had been ill. She’d had a recent hospitalization. Work required me to be in San Francisco a lot during that time period. Although she was much improved after her hospitalization, I still didn’t want her far away from me.

  “It was the oddest thing,” Evan continued, sounding distracted. “There was security video footage from our condo building of Elizabeth leaving for our lunch meeting. After she disappeared, it was reviewed by the police. But she never arrived at the restaurant. Instead, the surveillance video here at Les Jumeaux showed her getting on her boat four or five hours after that. She’d driven here instead of meeting me.”

  “Why did she do that?” I asked, breathless over the fact that he was talking openly to me about a topic that usually was taboo between us.

  He blinked and focused on my face. He’d been so lost in his thoughts, it was like he’d forgotten our conversation. Forgotten my presence.

  “I don’t know for certain. I called when she didn’t arrive at the restaurant, but she wouldn’t answer her cell.”

  “Was that common? For her to just change her mind like that? Take off without telling anyone?”

  “She was fiercely independent… or at least she liked to believe she was. She wanted to be in control of her own destiny so much. So yes. Because of that, Elizabeth could be very erratic at times.”

  I thought it was a strange thing to say. He must have noticed my confused expression.

  “Elizabeth was trying to decide what she wanted in her life during that time period. Things had been rocky in our marriage. We’d become estranged. Elizabeth was trying to decide about her future. About who she wanted in it.” He picked up his wineglass and took a swallow.

  “And then she came to Tahoe and disappeared,” I said. I was trying to absorb the fact that he and Elizabeth had been estranged, wondering where that piece of crucial information fit into the whole equation.

  There had been a hint of wistfulness in his tone when he spoke of her. Despite the fact that Elizabeth and he hadn’t been getting along, Evan clearly had hoped she would choose him to be part of her future.

  Evan’s gaze sharpened on me. He set down his wineglass so hard, the crystal rang.

  “This is why I didn’t want to discuss it with you.”

  “What?” I asked, taken aback by his blazing stare.

  “You’re as white a ghost,” he said, standing abruptly. “Let me get you some water.”

  “I don’t need water,” I protested, flying up from my chair as well. I grabbed his forearm, halting him. “Evan, I’m fine. Why do you always treat me like I’m so fragile, when clearly I’m not? Was Elizabeth delicate? Is that why you always jump to that conclusion?”

  He winced. “Why are we even talking about Elizabeth?”

  “Because we just found out that her parents are living next to us,” I replied just as heatedly. “Because I’m trying to figure out why you would want to stay here, given everything you found out today! And the only thing you seem concerned about is that I’m going to shatter like a piece of dropped china.”

  His mouth pressed into a flat line. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my choppy breathing.

  “Why would you want to live here, knowing they’re next door?” I asked, forcing my voice into a calm, even tone. He was keeping things from me. I understood that instinctively, but imagined that he did so because he didn’t want to burden me. Hurt me.

  Or maybe I just wished that.

  “We won’t ever see them, Anna. Madaster is in a wheelchair. He can’t even leave the house… unless it’s by ambulance.”

  “That’s not an answer, Evan.”

  He raked his fingers through his thick hair. For a few brief seconds, he looked alarmingly distraught. But then he dropped his hands to his sides and gave a little bark of exasperation.

  “Something was taken from me, Anna. Maybe things won’t ever be the same.” He gave me quick, fierce glance. “I don’t want them to be the same. I want a whole new chapter. But I don’t want to run away from this place, either.” He turned to me, grasping my elbows and pulling me into his body. “I want to stay, but I’ll go if it’s what you want.”

  “I’m not sure what I want.”

  “Maybe I’m wrong, but I had the impression you were coming to love it here. That you’d fallen under the spell of this place.”

  “It’s true,” I admitted uneasily. “It’s the most beautiful place in the world. I wake up here every morning freshly amazed that I actually live here.”

  “Would it really bother you that much? To stay? The residences are completely separate. There’s no connection, like there used to be. I made sure of that. You understand that, don’t you? Madaster can’t touch you.”

  I gasped in surprise. “Touch me? You make it sound like he’d want to hurt me.”

  “I just mean that you won’t ever have to deal with them. You won’t ever have t
o lay eyes on him. This is our home. I hate the idea of him running us off it.”

  He looked so intent… so desperate for me to understand. But I sensed he wasn’t giving me all the pieces to completely comprehend. Maybe it wasn’t intentional, on his part? He was just so caught up in the private world of his own memories and motivations, he didn’t even realize he left me alone in the dark half of the time.

  “I don’t understand how you can do it, Evan,” I said bluntly.

  “Do what?”

  “Live in this house. Exist in a place where your wife… the woman you loved disappeared.”

  His hands tightened on my upper arms. I looked up at his shadowed face as he loomed over me, the ache in my chest amplifying.

  “Do you know, when I looked at you the first time, I was shocked to the core? And you’re talking to a man who doesn’t surprise easily. Not anymore. I was stunned to see something so wholly new. So fresh. Honest. Rare.”

  His deep voice vibrated with emotion. Rarely had I heard him speak this way. I stared up at him, speechless.

  “I loved Elizabeth once, that’s true. I used to think she was the most perfect thing in existence. But the years matter, Anna. Maybe you’re too young to understand that yet. My point is, she’s gone. And I’ve fallen in love with you. God, can’t you feel that?”

  Light flickered around us. His question roared in my brain alongside crashing thunder. Distantly, I realized that the kitchen had grown dark. The storm had crept up on us silently, but arrived with a fury. Its power was nothing compared to the man who held me.

  “Yes,” I admitted honestly. “I can feel how much you love me.”

  He swooped down and captured my mouth with his. Thunder crashed around us. I clutched at his shoulders, surrendering to the heat. To the truth.

  I realized in some distant part of my brain that this was the reason he didn’t feel the need to tell me the miniscule details of his thoughts: This inescapable attraction between us, this magnetic draw. It was so big, so overwhelming, so obvious, it trumped everything else.

  He put his forearm under my thighs. My feet left the floor. Our kiss continued, voracious and desperate, even as he threaded me through the obstacles in the kitchen and carried me up the stairs.