Driven (A Jenny Watkins Mystery Book 1)

by Becky Durfee

  Jenny put the note down for a second as she laughed and wiped away a small tear. With a deep, invigorating breath she continued.

  I have also left you some money, and I want to be very clear about what I want you to do with it. I know you are a very generous and giving young woman, but I want you to keep most of this for yourself. Don’t worry, I have already left plenty to charity. That’s taken care of. This money is specifically for you so you can live the life you were meant to lead.

  I want you to pursue your gift. Give answers to people, just like you did for me. Enrich lives. Do what only you can do. While I firmly believe that teaching is an admirable profession, you weren’t meant to be a teacher. You were chosen for something more. Be that person that you were chosen to be.

  You have given me more than anyone ever has, with the possible exception of Steve. In return, I hope I have made you realize that no one can tell you no. And now money is no object, so you can truly go and live the life you were meant to lead.

  I love you with all my heart, and I take comfort in knowing I’ll see you again someday. No hurry on that. Get old first.

  Until we meet again,

  Elanor

  Jenny held the letter close to her chest for several moments until she found the strength to read it again. The second time the letter was just as impactful as the first, if not more so.

  This letter had just changed her entire life.

  When Jenny arrived home, she was able to face Greg with a new outlook. She was no longer stuck in the marriage, forced to stay due to financial obligations. She only needed to stay with Greg if she wanted to, and that was going to be difficult to determine.

  Aware that she had taken a vow, she did feel that she should make every effort to help her marriage survive. Upon seeing Greg working very hard on his hands and knees in the formal living room, she felt a sense of guilt for the way things had been unfolding. He was working hard for them; she had to at least give him that much.

  “Hey,” she said softly.

  “Hey.”

  She sat on the floor near where he was working. “Have you thought any more about that counselor?”

  Greg sat back on his knees. “I’m just not sure we can afford it.”

  Jenny curled her legs into her chest. “The way I see it, we can’t afford not to.”

  Greg and Jenny looked at each other silently for a moment, and then she continued.

  “Elanor has left me some money. I’d like to use that to pay for counseling.”

  “How much money?”

  “I’m not sure yet,” Jenny confessed, “but it’s a lot. I got an advance of a hundred thousand dollars, and the lawyer called that a small portion.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “The check is in my purse. I’ll deposit it tomorrow when the banks are open.”

  Jenny could see the wheels turning in Greg’s head. Before he got ahead of himself, she decided to speak her peace. “I don’t want to work on this renovation anymore,” she said softly. “I will help with paint schemes and wall hangings, but I don’t want to rip up floors and replace pipes. I figure we can use some of Elanor’s money to hire a competent person to come in here and help you on my behalf. In fact, one of the guys at Larrabee homes said he’d be willing to help if we needed it, and that was before he knew he’d get paid.”

  Greg didn’t say anything, so Jenny kept talking. “And I’d like to resign my post at Evansdale Elementary. There are still a few weeks before school starts, and I know there were more applicants than positions. Somebody else will be delighted to have my job instead of being a daily sub.”

  Greg looked confused. “Then what will you do? If you don’t work here and you don’t teach…”

  “I want to be a full-time psychic.”

  Greg’s expression changed instantly. “You know I don’t like you disappearing all the time.”

  “I know,” Jenny said sympathetically. “That’s one of the things we’re going to have to work through. But I am going to be a psychic. The question is whether we’re going to stay married while I do it.”

  Greg remained quiet for an eternity. “I guess we’ll need to see a counselor, then.”

  Chapter 22

  The next day Jenny received a phone call from the funeral director, inviting her to come by and pick up Elanor and Steve’s ashes. Jenny obliged, meeting with him later that afternoon.

  The funeral director opened the box on his desk, presenting Jenny with the wooden urn inside. “It’s an avian urn,” he explained. “Once the ashes are scattered, the urn itself becomes a bird house. That’s designed to represent the continuation of life.”

  Jenny smiled as he delicately placed the urn back into the decorative box. Providing a family of birds with a home seemed characteristically Elanor.

  He slid the box across the desk to Jenny. “Thank you,” she said graciously. “And thank you for the beautiful service.”

  The director smiled. “It’s the least I can do for such an iconic woman.”

  After an overly-cordial goodbye to the funeral director, Jenny carried the box containing the urn uneasily out the door. She arrived at her car, grimacing, unsure exactly where to put the box. The trunk seemed cruel, but the passenger compartment seemed creepy. “Okay, lovebirds,” she whispered, “I’ll put you in the back seat. But no hanky panky back there, got it?” She placed the box on the floor of the car, wedged safely between the front and back seats.

  She climbed into the front of her car and spoke more freely. “Alright, guys, you need to be quick about this. I’m not going to drive around like this forever. I’m giving you a week, and if you don’t show me the way, I’m winging it. You got that?” She looked around the car in every direction, making sure if Elanor and Steve were there she’d have sent a glance their way. She started her car and headed home.

  The following morning, Jenny was in the middle of her bowl of cereal when a sudden urge made her realize breakfast needed to wait. She didn’t even bother to tell Greg she was leaving; she simply collected her purse and headed out the door.

  Realizing this was most likely her last contact from Steve, Jenny savored the moment. She would miss his presence in her life almost as much as she would miss Elanor. She allowed herself to be driven to Lake Wimsat, a path she would soon be able to recognize without assistance.

  Once in the park, she headed down the windy main road, past the facilities maintenance building, to a small parking lot that could have easily gone unnoticed. Aware this was her destination, she pulled the car into one of the slots.

  Stepping out of the car, she looked in the direction of the lake, noting this area was even more overgrown than the area behind the facilities maintenance building. “Seriously?” she complained to herself as she pulled her boots out of the trunk. Once her boots were on and the urn was tucked safely under her arm, Jenny headed out into the thick brush.

  After what seemed like an eternal hike through vines and pricker bushes, Jenny finally arrived at a large, flat rock that jutted out into the water. She remembered Elanor had once described this place, but the description hadn’t done it justice. Jenny was awed by the beauty that surrounded her, instantly understanding why this had been Elanor and Steve’s favorite place in the world. She was glad this was going to be their final resting place. Together. Just as it should have been.

  Jenny took a seat on the rock, unwilling to bid her final farewell just yet. She placed the urn next to her, pretending for a moment that Steve and Elanor were young and very much alive, sitting with her in a moment of comfortable silence that only the closest of friends could enjoy. They could have been friends, the three of them, had the stars lined up differently. Unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be.

  “Oh, Elanor, I could use you now,” Jenny said out loud as she considered the prospect of her failing marriage. No longer bound by financial chains, the choice was hers as to whether she wanted to stay or go. She was grateful that Greg had agreed to go to counseling, but she was
smart enough to know that counseling could only be effective if both people involved genuinely wanted the marriage to work. She wasn’t sure if that was true for her. Part of her wanted to cut her losses and go.

  She heeded Elanor’s advice and tried to picture Greg with another woman. She envisioned him looking longingly into her eyes, whoever she was, making promises similar to the ones he had made to Jenny in the beginning. She felt frighteningly unmoved, but she was fully aware that may have been because this was only a theoretical relationship. Perhaps if the real thing had been flaunted in her face she’d have felt much differently. Unfortunately, that was one of those things she wouldn’t be able to discover until it was too late.

  Switching gears she tried to determine whether she’d be interested in Greg if she’d met him at this point in her life. Did he have the qualities she was currently looking for? She didn’t think so. Did Zack have those qualities? She didn’t really think so either, but she at least enjoyed his company. She couldn’t even say that about Greg anymore. She did believe there was a man out there who was much better suited for her than either of those two, but was she fooling herself? Did the perfect man really exist?

  “I want a Steve,” she declared.

  Lying back on the rock with her fingers interlaced over her stomach, Jenny spent her final moments with Elanor staring up at the sky considering the pros and cons of divorce. Jenny sighed out of frustration. The only way for her to know the correct solution would be to choose an option and then determine if she regretted it later. The safer option was to stay married; she could always file for divorce down the road. If she filed for divorce, that was final. Greg would probably never agree to take her back if she took that step. Staying married was definitely the safer route.

  But was it the route that would make her the happiest?

  Jenny turned her head toward the urn and repeated, “Miss Elanor, I really do need you. I wish you were still here. Will you give me a sign, at least? A little help? Something? Anything?” She waited for a moment for something to happen, but nothing did.

  With a sigh Jenny sat up, realizing she was selfishly keeping Elanor and Steve from being together in their final resting place. They’d been waiting for decades; she didn’t need to make them wait any longer.

  She stood up carefully, picking up the urn and admiring it. “Well, you two,” she whispered softly. “I wish you an eternity of happiness. Godspeed, my friends, until we meet again.” She tilted the urn, and the ashes flew like dust into the gentle breeze. Jenny watched until she couldn’t see any remnants of the ashes left.

  And just like that, they were gone.

  In an effort to sidetrack herself from her sadness, Jenny directed her attention to what was now just a beautiful wooden bird house. “We’ll have to find a nice place for you,” she said thoughtfully. Then she added, “Dear God, I’m talking to a bird house.”

  With a sigh she headed back through the jungle to her car, where once again she exchanged her boots for her flip flops. As she got into the car, she realized this chapter of her life was now over. However, she was hopeful the future would be brighter than the past.

  Jenny got home and fixed herself some lunch, eager to busy her mind with other things. After making herself a sandwich, she headed to the folding chair in the living room, balancing a plate on her lap. She noticed the issue of Choices on the floor next to the chair, so she picked it up and opened to a random page. There, staring her in the face, was an article entitled, “Fear Is Not A Reason.”

  Fear is not a reason.

  She could hear the words as if Elanor’s own voice had said them. Fear is an excuse, Elanor would say if she could. Jenny wondered if Elanor was actually hovering nearby, wishing those words into Jenny’s brain. Jenny had asked for a sign, after all. Perhaps this was it.

  At that moment Jenny decided she would make educated decisions about her future, not at all motivated by fear or baggage. From that point on, Jenny would make conscious, deliberate choices.

  Two months later:

  Jenny sat at the edge of Lake Wimsat with her easel and paints, recreating the beautiful scene of the water surrounded by autumn’s foliage. She had indeed surrendered her teaching job to a grateful college graduate who had previously accepted the fact that she’d been overlooked by all the school districts. Jenny had regarded that as a happy ending for everyone concerned.

  By this time Jenny had been made aware of the amount of money Elanor had left her; she would undoubtedly be comfortable for the rest of her life. She had received another installment of her bequest, and she decided to use part of it to give some tokens of appreciation to Susan and Zack. She knew that without their support, she never would have been able to give Elanor her answers. She found it only fitting to show them her gratitude by sharing some of Elanor’s generosity.

  She had set up college funds for each of Susan’s children. Unless the kids decided to go somewhere ridiculously upscale, Jenny’s trust should have adequately covered all of their expenses. Susan was moved to tears when Jenny gave her the gift, although she did joke that she’d been doing this for thirty years and had made only a fraction of what Jenny managed to pull in with her very first experience. The two women vowed to keep in touch, and they had since gotten together several times.

  Jenny presented Zack with a new boat, aptly named the Elanor O’dell. She had paid for a docking space at Lake Wimsat so Zack could enjoy the same peace and beauty Elanor and Steve used to enjoy. Zack had jumped up and down like a child when he saw the boat, a reaction which still invoked a smile in Jenny every time she thought about it.

  She and Greg had several counseling sessions under their belt, but she wasn’t horribly optimistic about their future. She realized that most of the reasons to stay in the marriage were fear-based, and she now knew that fear was not a reason to stay.

  She had also been seeing a counselor of her own, separate from the marriage counselor, to get a handle on her inadequacy issues. She was continuing to make breakthroughs and progress, but she understood she had a long way to go. Just as Elanor had made discoveries until the end, Jenny realized self-reflection was a never-ending process.

  As Jenny sat back in her folding chair—the one that had served as their living room set until the furniture came in—she admired her half-completed painting. She’d changed the colors of some of the trees, putting in reds where yellows had been. She was giving herself permission to do such things lately and discovering she was usually happy with the result. This painting was no exception; she liked how it looked so far.

  At that moment a strange wave hit Jenny. It had been a while since she’d experienced it, but she immediately knew what it was.

  Contact.

  To be continued in Betrayed.