One Desire

by Rice, Rachel E.

  Turning on the shower and stepping in, I stayed under the warmth of the water until it became quiet. Then I slipped on my black dress, and my damp panties, I left hanging on the shower door. Not hearing voices, I walked slowly out of the bathroom to the bedroom to retrieve my dignity. I caught sight of Brandon strutting from the kitchen with two cups of coffee.

  “Here princess you need this. And I need a drink.” He walked to the bar and poured himself a shot of bourbon and then another and another. I stared at him. His drinking five years ago was bad but now it was worse.

  “What’s wrong with you and your wife?” I asked him. He opened his mouth to say something and I cut him off. “No. On second thought, I don’t want to know. I’m getting out of your crazy life.”

  “I’m crazy because of you,” he said finishing off the bourbon and pouring another. He came closer to me and his body touched mine. I could feel his manhood rise and I pulled away.

  “Don’t put that on me,” I said trying to put distance between us. I wanted him and needed him too bad. I needed the heat of his embrace and for him to tell me that he loved me.

  “I asked you to wait for me, and you left,” he said.

  “You said you were coming back,” I shouted. I remained in that place until after your marriage, until after you fucked Angela that night, and then I came to my senses and took my stupid ass home.”

  “I left Angela on our honeymoon night and rushed to be with you. I told her the night of our honeymoon that it was a mistake and we should get an annulment. I know this sounds terrible, but you don’t know the circumstances under which we both agreed to this marriage.”

  “No, I don’t and I don’t think it concerns me anymore. That is your burden to bear. Telling me makes me more ashamed of myself if that’s possible,” I said trying not to accept responsibility for something that I had a party to as well.

  Brandon held my face in his hands, “You have nothing to be ashamed of princess.” I could do nothing but ease out a small smile with tears following. He kissed each tear traveling straight to my mouth.

  “There is nothing you can say,” I said. I needed him to say something to change my mind. Make me believe him.

  “My marriage wasn’t a marriage. It was an arrangement between two young spoiled rich kids plotting to get their inheritance, thinking that wealth would solve all our problems. I don’t want to go into details but if you ask me, I will tell you everything.”

  “Everything?” I questioned. His face changed. His glance wandered. I knew he was holding on to the biggest secret of all. I wondered what his mother meant when she caught us in bed and asked Brandon if he told me. “I don’t think I’m ready for this. I have to get my mind ready for my first day on the job. I need time,” I admitted.

  I headed for the door and he stopped me. “Give me a moment to explain to you what happened that Saturday night.” I glanced at his arm holding mine.

  “I’m waiting for your explanation,” I said hoping to believe and forgive him.

  “When I discovered that you had gone home and didn’t want to talk to me, I was crazy. Angela found me with my mother’s direction and insistence. I laid out drunk on the floor for days. I hadn’t eaten or taking a bath. I was a mess. She became angry and jealous, then she encouraged me to drink some more. I stayed drunk for months. We weren’t going to consummate the marriage.” He paused long and then he said. “But in my drunken haze we slept together. We had a contract and she wouldn’t let me out of it.”

  “I’m not proud of this. I didn’t think my life would get this complicated and I didn’t think I would meet a girl and fall in love with her. I never knew I could love anyone the way I love you and still be in love.”

  I held my breath when he said that they were not supposed to consummate the marriage. I exhaled when he said they did. I couldn’t breathe when he said that he loved me. He put his arms around me and I became limp. Not because I was so attracted to him, which I was, but because at that moment I hated him. I hated him because I loved him so much and to hear that he slept with Angela. I fell hard into the softness of Brandon’s arms. I could have stayed in my fairytale world until someone woke me.

  Everything in the room was circling and my feet were unsteady. “Sit down,” Brandon said and before I could open my mouth, he picked me up in his strong arms and placed me on the bed. “I know what’s wrong, you haven’t eaten. Let me call for breakfast.”

  “No.” I protested. “I have something to do today.”

  “I know you have a job,” Brandon said sitting down on the edge of the bed. “You don’t have to work. I’ll take care of you. I will get you an apartment…”

  “Wait a minute. You’re proposing that I become your mistress?”

  “No. That’s not what I want,” he said.

  “What do you want?”

  “I don’t know but I do know that I want you with me under any circumstances. I will get a divorce from Angela but it takes time. When I try to leave her she tells my family that she’s pregnant.”

  “Well is she?”

  “If she is it’s not for me. I haven’t slept with her in five years.”

  “Oh god, I can’t handle this. This is not the kind of life I wished for myself. Sneaking around to be with someone I love.”

  “You said that you love me, and that you would be with me even if I married,” he said.

  “That was five years ago, I’m a woman now. Of course I love you, is there any doubt? But I’m not going to spend my life dodging Angela. She will never give you any peace or a divorce,” I shouted. I stepped from the bed. My words must have rang true and he recognized the truth.

  “I can’t stop you from going on with your life and I won’t prevent you from having a life. I’m the one to blame. I admit, I can’t see a future for us as long as Angela is in the picture,” Brandon said. His eyes lowered and turned to a dark hue of blue. He stared through me as if he was somewhere far away. “I won’t bother you again,” he said to me.

  He had given up without a fight. I wanted him to say that he would never give in to Angela and that we would be together one day. He stood watching me walk through the door. I was in a daze and when I arrived in the lobby Brandon’s limo parked was parked in front of his hotel.

  I stood in line waiting for a cab. My mind was cloudy and it was raining. I saw and heard only the raindrops.

  “Tyler. Tyler. I’ll take you home.” Spencer’s hand set on my shoulder. “Come with me.” I followed him like a sheep. Not knowing or caring about anything. Brandon had let me slip out of his hands once again. I wanted to be in his arms but what was I to do? He had made me a proposition that I couldn’t agree to. Unlike Angela, sophistication, deceit and blackmail didn’t appeal to me.

  I had no training on how to be a mistress. I would probably fuck that up. I had no training on how to act when dodging the wife. I had no training on how to sleep with a man and not give my complete heart to him.

  Without saying a word to Spencer of where I was going, he stopped in front of Chris’s loft. “Anything I can do?” Spencer said reaching for my hand helping me out of the limo.

  “Thank you. You have done enough,” I said regretting the acid mixed in with my words. It wasn’t Spencer’s fault. It was my fault and it was Brandon’s.

  We’ve managed to fuck up our own young lives and we had years to go. Who knows how much damage we can do to each other? I wondered.

  Chapter 14

  When I opened the door to the loft, all lights were off. The lights coming from the sheer cream curtains hanging across the patio doors couldn’t hide the light streaming in from the New York streets and skyline. A note was held on the refrigerator door by a magnet.

  Gone with Patrick to the Hamptons. Be back on Friday. Enjoy.

  Love Chris

  Grateful for the time alone, however, I couldn’t keep putting Chris out of her own home. Dropping my dress on the floor, my panties now dry, I threw on a robe. I thought of calling my father. He
sitating, a call came in instead on my phone.

  “Tyler, Angela returned after you left and we had a quarrel,” Brandon said.

  “How does that concern me?”

  “I’m calling to warn you.” I remained silent. “I don’t know what she’s capable of doing,” he said in a shaky voice.

  “I think if she wanted to do something she would have when I was lying in your bed,” I said to him.

  “You don’t know her. I want you to be safe so I’m going to have Spencer pick you up every morning for your job and take you home.”

  “I don’t stay at Chris’s every week. Only when she’s at Patrick’s apartment,” I said to him.

  “Then he will take you wherever you need to go.”

  “I don’t know Brandon,” I said, unsure of what I wanted.

  “Tyler, I never contacted you in all those years because I didn’t want to expose you to Angela’s vicious behavior.

  “I can take care of myself,” I said.

  “You’re not equipped to deal with a woman like that,” he said.

  “I’ve changed and you don’t know me anymore. Besides one night with me doesn’t make you an expert on me,” I said to him.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry I disturbed you. I won’t do that anymore. Goodbye Tyler.”

  The way he pronounced my name, so lovingly and warm couldn’t cover the coolness in his voice when he said that he wouldn’t bother me again. I ached. This whole situation sucked big time.

  How could I be so casual with him? I should have been warmer, I thought. But how could I? I was in a catch twenty-two. If I dared get close to him, I would agree to anything he wanted. I couldn’t look into his blue eyes without a feeling of warmth and sexual desires running rampant throughout me. I wanted what he had given me before. I wanted him.

  I wanted his gentle kisses over my breasts and body. I wanted the ease with which he entered me and the pleasure I received when we had our intense orgasms together, where we could enjoy the excitement and sexual relief when our bodies were one.

  I want him. He is my one desire.

  ***

  I ate, watched television, and fell asleep. When I woke it was to the buzz of my smartphone. I reached over and answered expecting my father to call checking whether I was ok. He still thought of me as a little girl even though I had grown up.

  “Wake up Tyler,” Chris said breathless.

  “Have you seen the morning papers?” She didn’t wait for me to reply. “On the front page is a picture of you and Brandon in bed.”

  “You must be kidding,” I said.

  “I assure you this is serious stuff. How did anyone get a picture of you and Brandon together?”

  “No one did,” I said.

  “The story is too long for me to read it to you over the phone.”

  “I have to get ready for work.” I tried to downplay the news. I was worried that my father and my employer would find out. I made a large sigh and jumped to the floor. I had to continue even if I wanted to hide and stay in the bed. But showing up was the hardest thing anyone could do my father once said. So I had to show up.

  “Chris, just read the headlines. I have to take a shower.” I wanted to know how damaging this would be to my reputation. I hadn’t developed a reputation yet and before I could, I had ruined it. I didn’t blame Angela any more than I blamed myself. How could I sleep with Brandon even when he confessed that he was going to marry the next day?

  “I warn you Tyler, you aren’t going to like this. But here it goes: “Tyler Burns, home wreaker, seductress, caught naked in Brandon Charles’s bed that he shared with his beautiful and trusting wife, Angela. Angela Charles a socialite and contributor to many social causes concerning children, stated: ‘that woman must have lured my devoted husband into marital infidelity.’

  With tears in her eyes, Angela Charles confessed that she was unable to have children after a number of miscarriages, and Brandon must have been desperate to sleep with a stripper.”

  “Oh my God,” I murmured.

  “My God indeed. She fights dirty, Tyler,” Chris said. I could hear the pain she felt for me but I couldn’t feel any pain. I was stunned and angry. Words caught in my throat. I got up and walked to the shower.

  “Are you there? Are you there, Tyler?”

  “I have to go,” I said.

  My phone began buzzing. I had spent too much time on the phone and all I needed now was to be late for work. I stumbled into the shower. I wanted to hide but I didn’t know where. Why should I? I asked myself. I didn’t do anything wrong. How had my life turned into a soap opera and I find myself the main character.

  I lumbered out of the shower, dried my hair and hurried and put on clothes. I sat on the bed with everything in place staring at the brick wall. Finally I stood and decided to face my fears.

  After I passed the mirror to give myself a once over I realized that I had completely forgot to put on makeup and my blouse was a bright orange. I picked up my black leather purse and reached for my lip gloss and mascara. That was all I had time for. I had to be at the bank by eight a.m. Walking to the door remembering to lock it, was automatic. I couldn’t remember anything at this time. I scurried into the elevator, press the button, it eased to a stop and I opened the door on to the street. “Of all the days not to have a cab,” I mumbled. Then I saw Brandon’s limo parked and when Spencer saw me he angled the car in front of me.

  “I’m not getting in there Spencer. I have time to wait for a cab and I’m doing just that.”

  “What time do you have to be at the bank?”

  “Eight o’clock.”

  “Well it’s nine now. If you want to be there at ten, then stand there and wait on a cab.”

  “Oh no, not nine,” I said with my eye twitching and my brow furrowed. I didn’t wait for Spencer to open the door. I hurried into the limo and then I checked my smartphone. It was as Spencer had said. Now it was ten past nine. “Can you go any faster?” I asked terrified of the consequences.

  “We’re in New York traffic and look at what I’m driving. I’ll get you there soon. I’ve been waiting for you since seven.”

  “I’m sorry. I just had some terrible news.”

  “I know. I was reading the papers while waiting for you. You have made the headlines again. This should be devastating to Mr. Charles.”

  “Mr. Charles has nothing to worry about. It’s me, Spencer. I probably won’t have a job or be able to get one because of him.”

  “Here’s the bank,” Spencer said.

  Thanking Spencer on the run, I waved my hand behind me. I rushed up the stairs and then remembered that I left my bag in the limo. What could go wrong today? “Everything,” I said answering my confused, upset, deranged mind.

  Out of breath and panting on my way to my office, I paused to compose myself, the bank had been opened for a half an hour when in saunters me. The bank crowded, and today was my training day. I stood looking around and all eyes shuttled in my direction. Everyone knew, I thought. Someone must have buzzed Jordan to notify him when I showed. He opened his office and gestured for me to come in. I walked slowly to his door and he greeted me.

  “Well Ms. Burns, what do you have to say?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You must have more to say than that?”

  “I’m sorry that my name appeared in the papers.”

  “I’m not talking about that. Every beautiful young girl in the five boroughs have been caught by Angela in Brandon Charles’s bed. Those who know them personally, know what is true, and what’s not true. I’m only concerned with the bottom line. My bottom line is whether you’re going to be an asset to my bank. That’s all I’m concerned about for now. Now take fifteen minutes in the lounge to get yourself together. When you’re ready, your mentor will show you around and introduce you to anyone who is important in the bank besides me. And don’t forget their names.”

  He smiled and I felt better. He was giving me a chance. That’s more than what
I got dealing with Brandon.

  The lounge was empty and I sat and closed my eyes for a moment. I glanced into the mirror. Desperation written over my face had my eyes dark and sunken. My makeup was in my purse and I would be all day with dry lips.

  When I walked out of the lounge all eyes were closing in on me. A voice from behind came to me and said, “Don’t worry about them. They must have read the morning papers.” I turned and a woman about thirty-five held out her hand. “I’m Vivian Lambert and I’m your mentor. The only person you have to worry about is Mr. Longworth and he doesn’t care as long as his bottom line is met.”

  I gave an incredulous glance. My eyebrows raised. “We’ll talk later. He has too much money to care what anyone thinks of him. He got his money the hard way.” She paused. “He inherited it,” Vivian said giving out a hearty deep laugh.

  What I cared about was keeping my job to help my father. Then I can get an apartment and get on with my life, such as it is without Brandon.

  Chapter 15

  My day ended at seven o’clock that evening. I saw the lights on in Jordan’s office. The security guard smiled at me, showed me to the door, where he locked the door behind me. When I stepped out on the sidewalk I saw Spencer parked near the curb in front of the bank. I walked to the car and he stepped out, reached for the handle, and opened the door. “Please don’t do that again,” I said feeling uneasy. When I turned to enter the car, my eyes glanced upward and standing peering out of the large window I could see Jordan’s eyes looking down on me.

  Once I entered the car I said, “Don’t pick me up again. I can get myself to work.

  “I don’t think Mr. Charles would like that at all,” he said handing me my purse and then putting the car in drive and pulling from the curve.

  “I don’t care what he likes. I could lose my job. And you can tell him for me that I don’t want to see him again.”

  “Mr. Charles…” I cut him off.

  “Whenever I see you and that won’t be for a long time. Don’t call him Mr. Charles in my presence,” I said to Spencer.