Remembrance

by Avery Kloss

  I had no idea ghosts brought people gifts, which I found amusing. As I sat to do my homework, I glanced at the ring several times, feeling as if it had always belonged to me, but that was impossible, of course.

  16

  After dinner and watching a TV show, I ventured upstairs to take a bath. I gathered my hair in a messy bun and secured it to the top of my head. I tossed in some bath salts and bubble bath, the scent of flowers teasing me. With a towel nearby, I stepped into the water, sighing with pleasure. Scrubbing myself clean, I leaned back to enjoy the moment.

  I had been ready to end it all just two days ago. Thinking of that night brought more questions than answers, and speaking to Maven had not helped. I thought about the Bad Bone Bar. Why was the place so dangerous? Being under twenty-one, I knew I could not drink there. I had no intention of sneaking alcohol, and, if I really wanted to, mom would let me have some wine.

  Getting out of the tub, I wrapped myself in a towel, glancing in the mirror. I saw not one hint of shadow beneath the eyes, my skin clear and pale. Returning to the bedroom, I tossed a white nightgown over my head, leaving the towel on the floor. Seeing something out of the corner of my eye, I stared at the nearly lifelike image of a woman.

  “Holy crap!” I jumped, startled.

  I recognized her, the spirit that strove to gain my attention since the moment I moved in, but this was different. She stood a few feet away, the ghostly mass clear as day. She smiled slightly, exposing pearly white teeth. The blueness of her eyes peered at me, while a small pink mouth remained closed. She waved then, her hand out before her.

  “W-what?”

  Suzie floated to the door, where she turned around and waited for me.

  “You want me to follow you?”

  She nodded.

  “This is totally wild,” I uttered, wondering if maybe I hadn’t completely lost my mind. I did as she asked, curious about what she wanted. I had never seen her like this before, so humanlike and communicative.

  In the hallway, I heard my mother downstairs on the phone, speaking to Clark, no doubt. I followed Suzie past the bathroom, the ghost floating into one of the bedrooms.

  “Where are you going?”

  She drifted through the closed French doors and waited for me on the balcony. For some reason, she wanted me to go outside. I had to open the door, a blast of cold air hitting me. The spirit floated in place, her hand waving, encouraging me to look down. Confused, I went to the railing, feeling a moment of panic, remembering what had happened here over the weekend.

  “What is it?”

  Nodding slightly, she waved again.

  “I don’t see anything.” The moon shone down through the branches, the night nearly cloudless. I shivered, the hair damp around the nape of my neck. “It’s cold. What is it you want me to see? What are you trying to show me?”

  Suzie continued to float, her hand indicating the backyard. I strived to understand her, to know what she wanted of me. Annoyed with myself, I glanced over the railing, leaning on it.

  “I still don’t see anything.” I lifted to my toes, bending over a good ways. “Where? What is it?”

  A sudden burst of cold air hit my back, the force propelling me over the railing, the sensation of falling once again a reality. The motion happened so quickly, I did not have time to react or scream. I hit the ground three seconds later, the impact painful. Stunned, I gasped, feeling as if I had broken my back, landing with my legs splayed at awkward angles. I glimpsed the ghost staring down at me, her blonde hair like a halo around her.

  Shouldn’t I be dead?

  From somewhere nearby, I perceived the sound of a bell, my mom having hung a wind chime by the kitchen window, although I did not recall it had bells on it. Cold from wearing almost nothing in the dead of winter, my legs fully exposed, I sensed some feeling in my hands and legs again, managing to right the leg that bent so strangely. Why didn't I feel any pain? I had clearly broken several bones, including my back.

  I really should be dead.

  Staring at the ghost, I mumbled, “You little bitch. You pushed me.”

  Shivering, I sat up and got to my feet, although it occurred to me that I should not be able to do this at all. I took a few steps, feeling perfectly fine. A prickly, vibrating sort of buzz raced through me then, sending a blast of warmth straight to the core. I stood upon soft, damp grass, with both legs perfectly straight. I squeezed my thighs up and down, not perceiving anything broken.

  “God, that’s crazy.”

  How would I get back into the house? Mom had locked all the doors. I tried the kitchen door, finding it locked.

  “This sucks.”

  Shivering, I wrapped my arms around my body, glaring at where the ghost stood, although she had disappeared.

  “If you weren’t already dead, I’d kill you.” I hurried around the house to the front door, where I knocked and rang the doorbell, praying mom would hear me. A light turned on a moment later, my mother appearing.

  “Brie? What in the heck are you doing outside, honey?”

  “I … um … thought I heard a noise.”

  “So you went out without any shoes or a coat?”

  “Yeah, it wasn’t so smart.” I stepped into the house, the wood beneath my feet having been sanded today. “Thanks, Mom.”

  She frowned, shaking her head. “You’re filthy. Did you roll in the dirt?”

  “I think … I might’ve slipped on the grass. I’m gonna go wash up. I was heading for bed.”

  “You have school tomorrow and you’re supposed to talk to your new therapist.”

  “I don’t really need to. I feel great.” And that certainly was the truth, the depression gone entirely. “Can you cancel for me? I don’t want to waste the woman’s time.” I headed for the stairs. “Thanks, Mom.”

  She stared after me, her expression dumbfounded.

  I discarded the nightgown, picking up the bath towel from earlier, wrapping it around myself. Smudges of dirt discolored my arms and legs, while parts of leaves stuck to my hair.

  “I need a shower.” I glanced around the room, finding it empty. “Where are you? Why’d you do that to me? You totally pushed me off the balcony. Why the heck am I not dead? How am I standing here?”

  I waited for an answer, but none came.

  While getting ready the next morning, I brushed out my hair, which felt longer. It fell past my breasts, nearly reaching my belly. Lifting the ends, I stared at the glossy strands, utterly perplexed as to how it had grown several inches overnight. Running late, I did not have time to ponder this change, hurrying to get dressed.

  With a backpack in hand, I arrived in the kitchen just as mom made coffee. She stood at the window before the sink, wearing a light pink bathrobe.

  “Coffee?”

  “Yes, please.” I slid onto a seat at the table, feeling rested and strangely happy.

  Mom poured a cup, adding milk and sugar. She left it on the table. “You do somethin’ with your hair?”

  “Not really. I had a shower last night.”

  She scratched her neck. “It looks longer. And, since when do you wear fake eyelashes?”

  I sipped the beverage. “I don’t.”

  “You sure got all dolled up for school. Is there a boy you’re trying to impress?”

  “No.” I made a face. “High school boys are … morons.”

  She sat across from me, her look inquisitive. “What’s going on with you?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Two baths a night and you traipse around in the dark outside.”

  “Went to check on something.” I shrugged, offering a vague grin. “Heard a noise.”

  “And when did you get married?” She eyed the gold band on my finger.

  “Oh, this,” I laughed. “I found it in my room. It must’ve belonged to someone who used to live here.”

  “It’s pretty. It fits you perfectly. That’s odd, considering how small your fingers are.”

  “Yeah, it’s weird, but
it works.” I finished the coffee. “I gotta get going.” Something crashed into the kitchen window, startling us. “What was that?”

  Mom got to her feet, leaning over the sink to peer out. “A bird. That’s what happens when you clean windows, I guess. Poor thing.”

  “I want to see.” I rushed to the door, going out without a jacket. A pile of feathers lay on the ground a few feet away. “Oh, no. It’s dead!”

  Mom stood at the door. “It broke its neck on impact.”

  I knelt beside the small bundle of grey, reaching out to touch it. “Why’d you do that?”

  “It could be diseased. Don’t touch it, Brie.”

  The wings of the creature moved. “It’s not dead.”

  “Just leave it alone. Come back inside. You’ll get sick out there.”

  I sat back on my heels, as the bird suddenly burst into flight, a few feathers drifting down around me. “It’s fine. It was just stunned, is all.” I glanced at the trees, where several birds sat, all of them on the same branch. Each bird turned in my direction. “There are a bunch of birds out here.”

  Mom frowned, eyeing them warily. “Please come inside. Now.”

  “Okay.” I headed for the door, although I glanced at the birds one last time, the branch swaying gently in the wind. “Bye, birdies. Please be careful.”

  “In, now.” Mom closed the door, locking it.

  I laughed, “You don’t really think they’re gonna break in, do you?”

  “No, but … I saw this movie once about birds who attacked. It scared the bejesus outta me.”

  “They’re not going to attack.”

  She waved a hand through the air. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve workmen showing up in a half an hour, and you need to go to school.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  17

  From the looks I received, you would think I had shown up at school naked. I headed for the locker, but felt eyes on me. People stared as I went by. My locker mate, a boy who played football, gave me a double take.

  “You do somethin’ with your hair?”

  Turning the knob on the combination lock, I pulled it down. “No.” I shoved a few books inside, but kept the Psychology one.

  “You’re the chick from Colorado, right?”

  I side-eyed him. “Yes.”

  “I’m Matt.” He offered a grin.

  “We’ve met before. Brie.” He had never given me the time of day, barely acknowledging my existence. I closed the locker, a chorus of voices resonating, as the hallway filled with students. “See you around, Matt.”

  He gazed steadily, his look considering. “Yeah.”

  In Psychology, Mrs. Sherman stared at me when I first entered the room and in Chemistry, Mr. Podesto stopped by the table we worked at, my partner and I performing a lab. He seemed perplexed for a moment, and then he shook it off, continuing his stroll to the other tables. In Spanish class, Mr. Lopez smiled at me, his look beaming with approval. Mr. Montgomery ignored me completely in US Government, droning on about the dangers of gerrymandering.

  While in the bathroom before lunch, I washed my hands and stared at myself in the mirror, wondering what I had done to garner so much attention. Despite the stark florescent light, my skin appeared flawless, my eyes bluer, with thick, black lashes. I leaned in to have a closer look, wondering if perhaps I had forgotten to remove mascara from the night before. I did not wear any today. I hadn’t been bothered with makeup, not caring.

  I had to admit; I looked way too good.

  What the heck?

  It struck me then, this great sea change everyone seemed to notice. Perhaps, it was that I wasn’t walking around hiding behind my hair, trying to avoid people. This is what it looked like to not be suicidal, I supposed. Normally, I was a depressed basket case. That had to be it. Satisfied I had figured it out, I strolled from the bathroom and headed for the line at the counter, where I took a tray. I joined Tara and Steffy at a table a minute later.

  “Hey.” I slid onto a seat.

  Tara twisted a strand of hair around a finger. “What’d you do to yourself?”

  “I’ve been sleeping so much better.” I tossed a baby carrot into my mouth. “What’s up?”

  “Nothing at all,” murmured Steffy. “Where’d you get your extensions? They look so real.”

  “No extensions.”

  “Come on,” she snorted. “Please.”

  I shrugged, chewing on lettuce. “Try it. It’s my hair.” I didn’t actually think she would grab a bunch of hair, but she did, pulling. “Ouch!” I swatted her hand away. “Rip it all out, why don't you?”

  A slightly annoyed look appeared on her face. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but … it’s weird.”

  “I … I’ve been dealing with some … feeling low issues. I feel better now.”

  “Well, whatever you’re doing, I want some,” said Tara. “You look great.”

  “Thanks.” I sipped juice from a box.

  “Did you do your Algebra?” asked Steffy.

  “I did.”

  “I couldn’t figure out questions ten and thirteen. It’s driving me nuts. Can I … see what you did?”

  “Do you have it on you now?”

  “No.”

  “Stop by my locker after lunch. I’ll show you the equation. It’s pretty easy.”

  “For you, maybe,” she muttered, bunching up a paper napkin and tossing it on the tray. “I’m gonna hit the bathroom real quick. I’ll be back.”

  I spied Maven a few tables away, the girl staring at me. I waved, smiling.

  “You shouldn’t encourage her.”

  I glanced at Tara. “She’s a friend.”

  “I would really rethink that.”

  “She might be a little quirky, but that’s okay. I don’t mind quirky. I’m pretty weird myself.” I finished the juice box, leaving it on the tray.

  “Well, you can do what you like. It’s your reputation.”

  “I’m sure I’ll survive it.” I got to my feet. “Gotta go. See ya later.” Tossing the contents of the tray into the garbage, I left it on the counter upon a large stack. I ventured over to Maven, who eyed my approach, her look inscrutable. “Hi.”

  “Hi, Brie.” She wore a bulky sweater, which hid her slight frame.

  I sat across from her, resting my elbows on the table. Per usual, no one else occupied the same space, people avoiding the girl at all costs. “I saw our little ghost the other night.”

  “Suzie?”

  “Yep.”

  “I told you your house is haunted.”

  “It sure is.” I wasn’t certain I wanted to reveal the balcony incident, choosing my words carefully. “She’s getting bolder.”

  “How so?”

  “She gave me a present.”

  “What?”

  I held out my hand. The ring around my finger glowed a deep yellow. “This.”

  “Right.” She did not believe me in the least, her expression bland.

  “She did. It fits perfect.” I gazed at it. “You should try it on.”

  “Why? I don’t need your stupid jewelry.” I grasped her hand, my fingers closing around it. “Hey, stop!”

  The impulse to touch her perplexed me, but I could not help myself. I held her tightly, not letting go. She managed to pull free a moment later, rubbing her arm, a look of indignation deepening her frown.

  “I didn’t ask you to touch me, you freak.”

  “Sorry about that.”

  She sat very still then, the frown diminishing, replaced by a look of confusion.

  “You don’t have to be a stranger, you know,” I said. “You can come over to my house, if you want.”

  Jumping to her feet, she knocked over a small milk carton, the fluid pouring over the table. “I gotta go!” She grabbed her things, hurrying away.

  Exasperated, I rolled my eyes. “What’s up with people today?” I mumbled under my breath.

  For once, I enjoyed the afternoon classes, working on an abstract p
ainting in art and then reading about E.M. Forrester in English. I had already read a “Room With A View” a few years earlier, loving it. The movie was one of mom’s favorites as well. I turned in the Algebra homework in last period, taking notes while Mr. Gardner went over some arithmetic sequences. I managed to finish half of the homework for tomorrow while he spoke, scribbling away in a notebook.

  By the last bell, I ventured into the hallway and down the steps to my locker, where I pulled out the books I needed. With a weighted backpack, I strolled from the school, stepping out into bright sunlight. A host of cars formed a line to leave, while a bus drove by. I cut around the side of the building, heading home through the trees, which I preferred to the sidewalk.

  Later, as I sat before the TV with mom, the doorbell rang. I glanced at her. “Are you expecting anyone?”

  “No.”

  “I’ll get it.” In the foyer, the house smelled of new wood, the floors recently sanded, but not yet stained. I saw Maven through one of the side windows, standing outside. Opening the door, I grinned. “Well, that was fast.” I had invited her over, but I never really expected her to show up.

  Her eyes wide with alarm, she appeared almost panicked. “What’d you do to me?”

  “What do you mean?” I stood aside. “Come on in. It’s cold out there.”

  “When you touched me. What did you do?”

  I had no idea what she was talking about.

  “You did something.”

  “Look, I'm sorry I grabbed your hand. I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal outta it.”

  “Because … you did something.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t know, but I feel … different.”

  “Bad different or good different?”

  “A lotta crap’s gone down in my life. I don’t want to get into the details, but … things haven’t been good for me.”