Lovers at Heart

by Melissa Foster

  By midafternoon temperatures had risen, and they took a walk along the beach.

  “I’ve never been a hand holder,” Treat said, holding up their interlaced fingers.

  Max smiled. “I guess we’ve got a world of firsts between us then, because I’ve never been a masseuse or ever in my entire life had anyone give me a foot massage.”

  “Really? You’ve never had a foot massage? Well, sweetness, I’ll be sure to take care of that from now on.”

  They came to a short jetty of rocks. The tide was beginning to come in and they walked to the end and watched as it rolled in, rising along the edge of the enormous rocks.

  Treat looked out over the water with his brows drawn together. Max had been watching his face go from placid to contemplative throughout the morning, and she was dying to ask about Thailand, but she knew that if she brought it up, he’d tell her that he would change his life for her without ever looking back. She knew in her heart that he’d canceled the Thailand deal because of their relationship, and the thought of him giving up the aspects of his career that brought him such joy scared her to death. She couldn’t shake the prickly reminder that being the impetus for such a major change was not a good thing. He’ll eventually get bored and blame me for everything he never had a chance to accomplish.

  The thought weighed heavily on Max’s mind all afternoon. They ate dinner at the Bookstore Restaurant by the harbor, and despite the cozy atmosphere and the beautiful evening, Max was too sidetracked to eat.

  “Are you all right?” Treat asked.

  “Just tired.” She feigned a smile.

  “That would be my fault for keeping you up so late the last two nights. I’ll let you sleep tonight.”

  Why did he continually have to be so generous? She reached for his hand and opened her mouth to ask him about the call, but before she could say a word, he spoke.

  “Max, I thought maybe we should talk about what we want to do after this week is up.”

  She swallowed hard against the dull pain in the pit of her stomach. Now was her chance to let him off the hook. She clenched her napkin in her fists beneath the table. “I’ll be swamped at work, and I’m sure you will be, too.”

  “Never too swamped to spend time with you,” he said.

  She’d finally let herself love him, and now she was realizing that it had been the wrong thing to do. He’d never be happy in one place with a girl like her. He needed the excitement of chasing down resorts and handling tough negotiations. He was a mover and a shaker, while she was a homebody. Maybe she could go with him? Follow his career? Chaz had already said she could telecommute. But would she resent him if she did? Would she be happy traveling all over the world?

  “Max? What am I feeling here?”

  Aren’t guys supposed to hate talking about their feelings? Figures that I’d get the one who is just freaking perfect.

  “Nothing, just tired,” she lied.

  Treat paid the bill and they drove back to the bungalow. Max was silent even though Treat kept looking at her like a sad puppy wanting to know what he’d done wrong.

  They sat together under thick blankets on the back deck, watching the night sky bloom above the bay. Max wished she could freeze the evening right then and there and never have to make another decision.

  “Are you ready to talk to me yet?” Treat asked.

  Max’s head rested against his chest, and she desperately wanted to tell him no, she didn’t want to talk about it at all. They’d go back to their normal lives and either it would work out between them or it wouldn’t. She wanted to tell him to go through with the acquisition of the Thailand resort, not to put his life on hold for her—but she wanted to hold on to him for dear life and never let him go, equally as much. Instead, she said, “There isn’t much to talk about.”

  “Did I do something today that made you sad?”

  She touched his cheek. “No. You’re so good to me.”

  He looked out at the water, his dark eyes stuck in a serious gaze. “Are you worried that when we’re apart something will happen? That I’ll do something?”

  “Nope. Not at all.” And she wasn’t. Max had no worries about Treat being with other women. He’d had a chance for a guaranteed tryst with the beautiful blonde, and he’d turned her down flat. Women were the least of her worries. Lack of trust would have been easier to deal with than what was looming over her like a waiting storm. Being the reason he gave up what he loved versus holding on to him forever was a tug-of-war that had no winner.

  He pulled her close, and she closed her eyes, allowing herself once again to play with thoughts of spending every night with him, or being there for him when he returned from work. Work. What did someone like him do, anyway?

  “Tell me something about what you do. I know you own resorts, but what does that really mean?”

  “I don’t want to bore you,” he answered. “It sounds more glamorous than it is.”

  She sat up. “I’m serious. I don’t really know what you do. I would like to understand it.”

  He let out a sigh and then smiled. That flicker of excitement she’d seen back at her apartment appeared in his eyes again. “Well, I don’t have a set of things that I do on any given day. I have staff that take care of the resorts, and I have managers who oversee the staff, so I spend most of my time working on what comes next.”

  “What comes next?”

  “New acquisitions, mergers, researching areas, distributors, running business valuations. I plan, scheme, analyze.” He leaned forward with a burst of enthusiasm. “I’ve been doing this for twelve years and I swear it never gets old. There’s always something new to think about—and then there are renovations, social events. I have to keep a pretty heavy social calendar to maintain the relationships. It’s a crazy, fantastic life. It’s been a dream, really, a very good dream.”

  He looked at Max and must have read the worry in her eyes, because when he sat back, the excitement dissipated. “It’s been fun, and I’m set for life now. I don’t need to keep doing more. This is what I did before I found you, Max.” His voice turned serious. “You have to remember, I was filling my days with work and my nights with whatever I could that held no chance for permanence. I was running from my life, Max, not living it.” He put his hand on her leg and squeezed. “What I do has always been exciting and fulfilling, but now that I’m ready to really live my life, now that I do have you by my side, I want more. I want the house, you as my wife, and maybe even children one day. I want the dream that I’ve spent so many years running from.”

  Max didn’t hear anything after It’s a crazy, fantastic life. It’s been a dream, really, a very good dream. Max knew what she had to do.

  SOMETHING HAD BEEN off with Max all day. Treat had known it the moment he’d seen her sitting at the kitchen table, fidgeting with her food rather than eating, and the frown she tried so hard to hide made her look like her life was crumbling around her. She hadn’t shaken the darkness that lay behind her eyes all day. And now he could feel the tension in her body as she leaned against him. Every breath she took was short, riddled with stress.

  He felt the change in her when she’d asked about his work. He’d been afraid to give her a truthful answer. He knew his enthusiasm for his work was intimidating, and yet he’d promised to always be honest, so he was. And now Max looked even more conflicted than she had before.

  Treat wanted to take her in his arms and promise her the world that he knew he could give her, but something told him that she also saw his own turmoil. He had no concerns about Max, but Thailand was riding his nerves. He’d worked so hard for that acquisition, and truth be told, he would give up everything to be with Max, but one last foray into negotiations would be a sweet sendoff. It was the three months of international travel to corner the market that caused him concern. There was no way he could expect Max to pick up her life and go with him. He’d never ask her to—because if she did, she might hate him for it later. It was an unfair request.

  As
he sat with her now, he wrestled with the decision. He’d only just gotten her back in his life, and these last few days were not enough. He wanted a lifetime with her. He wanted everything he’d told her that he wanted, and if giving up acquisitions were what it would take, he’d do it.

  “What do you want, Max?”

  Max fidgeted with the edge of his sweater.

  “Max? How about you? Do you want all those things?”

  She shrugged, and that little movement tugged his heartstrings as hard as the day he’d seen her wearing the same outfit she’d had on the night before, when he thought she’d been with Justin.

  “Max?” His chest tightened, and his hurt was slowly turning toward something else that he tried to suppress. If she didn’t want all those things, then what were they doing together? Why had they revealed their souls to each other?

  She looked up at him, and he asked her again, “What is it that you want? With me, where do you envision this going?”

  Max pulled away. “I guess maybe we’re moving a little fast.”

  Her words sent a swift kick to his gut. “A little fast? I thought you felt the same connection that I did. I thought you wanted this just as much as I do.”

  “I…I do, but—”

  “But? Max, we can move slower. I never meant to push you. Just tell me what you want and I’ll follow your lead.” This can’t be happening. Could he be such a fool to have fallen in love with someone who couldn’t love him back? That couldn’t be. He felt her love for him in everything she did and said up until that very second. And still, even now, her eyes told a different story than her words.

  “It’s cold. Do you mind if we go inside?” Max picked up a blanket and escaped into the bungalow.

  I’M DOING THE right thing. I am. I have to do this. The pain of the reality of what she had to do felt like she was peeling her skin back with a paring knife, then slowly tearing it away from her bones.

  Treat followed her inside and she knew he was mad. Of course he was. She hated her goddamned self. How could he not? She was breaking both their hearts in order to save his happiness.

  “Talk to me sweetness, please. Don’t shut me out like this.”

  I feel like I’m bipolar, taking both of us on a roller coaster ride to hell. “What we have is great, better than great, but we don’t even know each other.” Just tell him the truth!

  “I know everything I need to know about you, and what I don’t know, I’ll learn.”

  “Treat, you’re a smart man. You know there’s more to a relationship than what we have.”

  “You’re right. I am smart. I know that love like ours is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and that even if we have to take it slow, even if we can’t move to the next step until ten years from now, that’s enough for me.”

  The anguish and anger in his eyes almost broke her resolve. She had to be strong. He’d give up everything for her, and no matter how much she loved him, her love would never make up for the release of the things that really got his juices flowing. That was like a death sentence for a relationship.

  “What’re you worried about, Max? Just tell me. Whatever it is, I can fix it. We can fix it. We can work on it. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

  “I know you will, and that’s the problem.” Max collapsed onto the couch and crossed her arms to keep them from trembling.

  Treat sat beside her with a sigh. He put his hand on her leg and tenderly touched her cheek. She froze beneath his touch, desperately trying to rebuild those walls that had kept her safe for so long. Damn it. Why is it so hard?

  “Are you saying I give too much? I don’t understand. Am I smothering you?”

  Max shook her head. If she opened her mouth, a flood of tears would follow.

  “Sweetness,” he whispered. “I can stop giving. I can turn into a mean bastard if you want.”

  His joke made her smile despite the way her heart was twisting and turning, like two giant hands were wringing it dry.

  “You can’t give up everything for me. I don’t want you to.” She closed her eyes with her admission.

  “Max, look at me. Please.”

  She opened her eyes, and he touched her cheek again. She leaned into it, craving his caress. Why had she said anything at all? Why hadn’t she left well enough alone? Just let him go back to work—wherever that was—and her go back to Colorado, and just let life unfold? Why did she need to define everything and put it into its place?

  “If we—” He turned away.

  Max had never met anyone like Treat. His eyes were damp again, like they’d been the night before, when he’d thought about how that man had hurt her. He was more empathetic and loving than any man she’d ever met.

  “I can’t even say if,” he continued. “When we’re together, neither of us has to give up everything. My businesses can run without me on site all the time, and if you want to continue working, I’ll live—we’ll live—wherever you want to live. We can have several houses, if that’s what you want, anywhere in the world that you want.”

  Max pushed away from his kindness and paced in front of the fireplace. “I don’t want you to buy me stuff. I’m not materialistic.”

  “I know you’re not. That’s not what I’m saying.”

  “I just don’t want you to give up everything for me. You’ll hate me for it.”

  He came to her side and pulled her close. Max tried to pull away, but he held her too tight. Leaning against him again, with his arms around her, refusing to let her go, she could almost believe that she should let her worries go.

  “Family knows no boundaries, Max. That’s something my father ingrained in my head. I hope that you will be my family one day. I could never hate you, and I’d do anything for you,” he said as he stroked her hair.

  Oh God. His family would never forgive me! I can’t take their successful real estate mogul brother and make him a one-house, one-family man.

  Max didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. She wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and erase the anxious evening that had found them. So she was relieved when he took her hand and led her upstairs.

  Treat didn’t try to make love to her. He ran a warm bath for her so that she could relax, while he read in the bedroom. Twenty minutes later, she curled up beside him and within minutes he was asleep.

  Max’s heart wouldn’t settle down. Every time she closed her eyes she saw his, dancing with excitement when he told her about how much he loved his work. The look in his eyes when he told her he wanted to live a simple family life was filled with happiness—but how long would it be before he realized he’d made a mistake? She’d missed the signs back in college. The way her boyfriend had suddenly started drinking more, going out to bars more. He’d lost interest in talking with her. She’d never miss those signs again, but she didn’t want to recognize them in Treat and know she was the cause of them.

  What she was contemplating would break his heart, just like he’d broken hers when he’d left town after the film festival, but what choice did she have? Could she risk his happiness just so she could be with the man she loved? If she got up from the bed. Oh God, leave Treat? If she packed her things and drove to the airport. Tears filled her eyes just thinking about it. If she left a note explaining why she’d left. What would I say? Would she really be saving him from a lifetime of resentment or would she crush his heart beyond repair?

  Max stepped quietly from the bed. She went to the window and stared into the reflection of the moon on the water. She needed a guidebook, or a mother who could tell her the right way to handle this. Since she didn’t have either, she had to make a choice. Was she selfish if she wanted nothing more than to be with him? No matter what he had to give up?

  Max felt like a thief as she gathered her belongings and went silently into the night.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  TREAT’S ARM FELL on an empty sheet. He opened his eyes and listened for Max. The house was too silent. He went to the window and looked down on the empty de
ck, then went into the bathroom, wondering if she’d gone for a walk. As he took the toothpaste from the basket beside the sink, he realized her things were gone.

  “Max?” he called into the empty house. He ran down the stairs, his heart thundering in his chest. He tried to deny the wrenching in his gut. She can’t be gone. She wouldn’t do that to me—to us. He tore open the door and raced to the empty spot in the driveway where her car had been.

  “No!” he yelled into the crisp morning air.

  Treat stumbled back into the house. She can’t be gone.

  He reached for his phone, and a handwritten note stopped his heart. He picked it up with a trembling hand.

  Dear Treat,

  When I read your letters back at my apartment, I knew how much you loved me, and how much I loved you became crystal clear. Being here with you these past few days has only solidified that in my heart and in my mind. But I’ve been where we are now, where one person has to give up something big to make the relationship work, and in the end, the very love that drives people together can turn to resentment. Once the honeymoon stage runs out and real life comes in with deadlines and pressures and late nights when all you want to do is be left alone, you can’t help but lose the feelings that drove you together. And then the resentment creeps in.

  I didn’t mean to listen to you on the phone, but I overheard you saying you were giving up acquisitions—the very thing that gets your juices flowing. I can’t be the one to cause that, and I’m not sure I can travel the world like you do. I like to travel, and I love you, but not having a home and moving around so much would make my need for organization go overboard. And I’m sure it would eventually drive you crazy.