Hate Struck: (Maddison High School Book 1)

by Nikki Ashton

  That face was pretty, shrouded with blonde hair, and had the most fucking perfect cock sucking lips I had ever seen.

  “Sarah.”

  7

  Sarah

  For a moment before I opened my eyes, I didn’t feel the pain in my chest or see the pictures in my head. The relief however was short-lived. Images swam behind my closed eyelids of a man with a gun and my dad lying in his own blood. Then they mixed with those of a predatory man with cold, grey eyes. Vivid pictures that reminded me of the pain which was still deep inside of me; the pain that I didn’t think would ever go away.

  It constantly thudded against my chest like a battering ram, beating a rhythm that worked its way into my head and stomach. Anxiety was my companion every minute of every day and I could barely remember the last time I’d felt any peace. I didn’t have a perfect relationship with my parents, what teenager did, but it was good. We were a little family who enjoyed spending time together, when I didn’t have better things to do with my friends, or that was the way I looked at it then. Now I’d give anything to be able to go to the supermarket with Mum and Dad and then call at MacDonald’s on the way home just because Dad found the whole food shopping thing stressful. I’d gladly go to the garden centre with them, just because it would mean he was still here, and Mum and I weren’t heartbroken and drifting through each day because it was all we had the energy to do.

  Mum watched me like a hawk through breakfast, just as she’d done the night before, checking on me every five minutes while I tried to do my homework; just as she did every night since she’d found out what happened to me. In the end I feigned tiredness and went to bed, pulling the duvet over my head to lay in the dark and try not to think about Joshua Mills and what he’d done. The only way I could do that was to think about the man who killed my dad with his brains blown out. Images of a man who’d eventually shot himself in the head were preferable to those of a man with a charming smile and a kind word, but they were what got me through some of my darkest moments in the last year.

  Eventually I’d fallen asleep, but my night had been disturbed by nightmares and fear.

  “Mum,” I said, breathing out a sigh. “Stop watching me like I’m a fine piece of china about to break into a thousand pieces.”

  “So, talk to me then. Tell me what you’re thinking about. You look anxious.”

  She looked as tired as I felt, with grey and puffy bags under her eyes, and a dullness to her normally bright, clear skin.

  “I didn’t sleep well.” I shook my head. “I never sleep well.”

  Mum sat back in her chair and nodded. “I know. But you have to stop worrying about what he may or may not do to other people, it’s not your responsibility.”

  “I wish I didn’t, but I can’t help it.”

  Mum’s eyes studied me thoughtfully as she waited for me to continue.

  “I need to try and get on with my life, Mum,” I explained as the knife I’d been holding to butter my toast bit into the palm of my hand, pinching against my skin. I dropped it with a clatter to the plate as tears pooled at my lashes. “I mean it, Mum. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to be worrying and thinking about him every single day, but I can’t stop.” As my breathing sped up, I pushed my chair back from the table to try and get some space. Claustrophobia enveloped me in a tight grip. “I-I w-wish he was d-dead, but he isn’t. He’s still there in the town I should be living in. He’s probably laughing and chatting with the people I used to call my friends. He might even be doing the same to one of them.” My stuttered words mixed with sobs of destruction and I pulled at the neck of my t-shirt to try and get cool air onto my heated skin.

  “Sarah, calm your breathing sweetheart, you’re going to make yourself ill.” Mum pushed out of her chair and crouched in front of me. Her pale grey eyes looked intently into mine as she cradled my face and breathed in and out slowly, silently begging me to copy her. “Please, Sarah, breathe, just like Eleanor taught you.”

  “Miriam has to keep an eye on him, Mum, she has to.”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll tell her.” She wiped the tears from my cheeks with her thumbs, her own eyes reflecting the fear in mine.

  “Promise,” I sobbed. “Promise.”

  “I promise, sweetheart. I’ll call her today.” She pulled me close and breathed in, her nose buried in my hair. We held one another for a few seconds before she pushed me to arm’s length and met my gaze. “Okay, I want to see you breathing steady.”

  I stared at her and forced myself to mimic her breathing pattern until slowly my lungs calmed down and fell into their normal steady pace. Eventually the huge flock of birds stopped beating their wings against my rib cage. Mum smiled gently.

  “Why don’t you go back to bed and I’ll call school for you?”

  “No,” I replied shaking my head. “I want to go; I have to go. I have my A-Levels in a couple of months, I can’t afford to miss anymore school.”

  “I know, sweetheart, but you’ve not slept properly.”

  “I’ll be fine.” I got up from my chair, forcing Mum to stand, and picked up my plate with my half-eaten toast on it. “He’s ruined my life enough. No more. I’m going to school.”

  Mum sighed and shook her head as she placed her hands on my shoulders. “Sarah.”

  “Don’t try and stop me. I just want to be a normal teenager again.”

  Her lips parted and a quiet gasp escaped them because we both knew I’d never be a normal teenager ever again. Too much had happened, my heart was carrying too many scars and my soul was too blackened.

  “At any point you can’t handle it, you call me, and I’ll come and get you.” Mum’s eyes were steely, and her hands gripped me tight. “Okay?”

  I gave her a single nod and hoped that I was doing the right thing.

  As I emptied my books into my locker, I knew someone was watching me. I felt it in the way my spine shivered, and my scalp pricked. I didn’t turn around because I also knew it was going to be someone who I didn’t want watching me. I felt that too.

  I tried to regulate my breathing. Never show any fear, my dad had told me when I was around five or six and I’d been scared by dogs. He’d taken me to a rescue centre to try and help me overcome it. When we’d walked into the exercise yard and there were about ten or fifteen dogs all running around, I froze.

  “You can do this sweetheart,” he’d said as he gripped my hand. “Just don’t ever show your fear, because as soon as you do, they’ll see your weakness and try to dominate you.”

  I’d left the centre that day, not exactly in love with dogs but I wasn’t scared any longer. Remembering Dad’s life lesson, I straightened my spine, pushed my shoulders back and slammed the locker door closed. I was determined to get through the day.

  I hadn’t gone more than a couple of steps when I felt something hit my back. It wasn’t hard and didn’t hurt me, but it had definitely been aimed with precision. I decided to ignore it and continued down the corridor, but as soon as I did, I felt it again. I should have ignored it but instead I let my pissed-off mood get the better of me and whirled around.

  “What?” I snapped before I even registered who I was facing.

  Adman’s handsome face smirked at me as he held up a piece of balled up paper and waved it in front of me.

  “Morning,” he said and tossed the paper at me.

  I flapped around to try and catch it, as if it might explode if it hit the floor. I batted it into the air a couple of times before I caught it. Adam hissed out a laugh as I slapped it against his chest.

  “You really aren’t coordinated, are you?” he said with a smirk.

  “And you couldn’t say good morning like any normal person,” I retorted as my chest tightened; my heart thudding to a fast beat.

  Adam shrugged. “Maybe I’m not normal.”

  With a swift glance over his shoulder, I noticed his usual entourage were nowhere in sight, but while it was strange, I wasn’t about to make it a conversation starter. I needed to g
et away from him. My palms had started to sweat, and I could feel a pulse tick beneath my eye.

  He had to have seen how he affected me. It was so hard to hide my fear from him, because when he looked at me with his blue orbs, I felt as though he was looking right inside my head and was able to read all the thoughts that were swirling around in it.

  “What do you want because I need to get to my French class?”

  My gaze searched around, desperately hoping that Alannah would appear to save me, even though she was probably as much afraid of him as I was. I couldn’t see her, so I had to face Adam alone as he stepped closer and his eyes considered me, slowly raking over me, as if memorising everything about me.

  “Wanted to give you a…” He paused and then gave me a smile that barely upturned his lips. “A friendly warning.”

  With his head tilted to one side, he watched me carefully as a short gasp left my lips. “W-warning? What, you want to warn me again to keep away from you?”

  “No, I want to warn you about the company that you keep. It can make or break your time here.” He dropped the paper onto the floor and then folded his arms over his broad chest. His biceps, with the hint of a pale blue vein in each one, bulged against the sleeve of his white t-shirt.

  “There’s nothing wrong with Alannah,” I said, trying to stand with my back straight. “She’s sweet and nice, and—”

  “Please don’t let Alannah fool you into thinking she’s sweet and innocent, Sarah. Because I promise you, she’s not. And she’s not the one I’m talking about.”

  He rubbed the pad of his finger around the outline of his open mouth and there was laughter in his eyes as the tip of his tongue followed the same path.

  I frowned. “Who then?”

  “Amber. The girl you had lunch with yesterday. Let’s just say she has a reputation.”

  Amber hadn’t told me anything about her and Adam, but I wasn’t stupid. I’d seen how anxious he’d made her seem. My guess was they’d had some sort of relationship and after hearing what Alannah said about him, I was pretty sure it had been a sexual one. My other guess was that he was the one thing all the girls sitting alone in the dining room had in common.

  “I’m not worried about anyone’s reputation,” I spat back, hoping that I sounded more confident than I felt – after all, hadn’t I been the subject of the whispered comments in the corridors of my old school?

  “Maybe not,” Adam replied and leaned closer to my ear. “But this is me telling you to keep away from her.”

  His words were hissed with sharpness and I felt his breath ghosting over my heated skin.

  “You can’t—”

  He put a finger against my lips. “Let me be clear, Sarah.” He said my name like it was a curse and his eyes filled with disdain. “I’m telling you not to befriend Amber or anyone else who you think looks like they might need a friend. They’re sad and lonely for a reason and that’s usually because they deserve it.”

  I desperately wanted to run from this boy who had me tied up in knots, but I was so struck by fear, hatred and a sick sense of yearning that I was rooted to the spot. My hand went to the strap of my backpack and I clutched it tight, wincing when my nails dug into my palm around it.

  “Alannah I’ll let go,” he continued, “seeing as Miss Daniels set that one up. Plus, I wouldn’t want you to be totally alone in this big bad school now, would I?”

  I drew in a breath and held it as I waited for him to continue, but he didn’t say another word. He smiled and sauntered away. It was only when he reached a junction in the corridor that I noticed the other three boys of his gang leaning against the wall and waiting for him. Then I realised that most of my peers were stood still and watching our interaction. When my eyes met those of two girls and a boy huddled next to an empty water cooler, they quickly looked away to watch Adam as he high-fived each one of his boys in turn and then, without a backward glance, walked out of sight leaving me gasping for breath.

  8

  Adam

  My first class after lunch was History and I was glad of the peace because none of the lads had taken it as an A-Level. I needed a break from the constant talking shit and crap jokes, not to mention the size of their fucking egos. I guess that was my own fault though because as I’d earned my place in Frankie’s inner circle, I’d introduced the three of them. Over time we’d got rid of a few people so that now it was just us four who everybody listened to. It helped that we were all pretty hard and didn’t care who started a fight, just so long as we finished it.

  I threw my bag down onto the floor and dragged my chair from under the desk, sinking down on it and relaxing back as though I was soaking up the sun on some fucking fancy beach in the Caribbean. My legs stretched out and I tapped my pen on the desk as everyone continued to file in.

  Some of the girls cast glances my way, one or two even smiled as they probably considered whether to come and sit in the empty seat next to me. I soon made sure that didn’t happen by the look I returned; my piercing, ‘I don’t want you near me’ look. And it fucking worked because they all diverted away from me.

  “Okay, okay,” our teacher, Mr Raymond, shouted. “Settle down and grab your seats. It’s nothing unusual I’m asking you to do, so less of a song and dance about it would be appreciated.”

  Chairs scraped across the floor and voices started to die down as one by one everyone settled.

  “We are going to continue to discuss Napoleon today, so please turn to chapter six of your textbook and read today’s assignment from the board.”

  Mr Raymond paused to allow the groans to echo around the room. I was sure I was the only one who didn’t join in. I liked reading about the little French fella and his ambition from an early age.

  “Complain all you like, people,” Mr Raymond shouted over the top of the noise. “But his ideas underpin a lot of our modern world.”

  “Woah who’d have thought a geezer with an eye patch would be such a Billy Big Bollocks.” Danny Roberts the class idiot laughed at his own joke and slapped a big hand on the back of his best friend, Cameron.

  “That was Nelson, you brain dead idiot,” I groaned.

  The whole class, apart from Danny, laughed and Mr Raymond shushed everyone.

  “You’re quite correct, Adam. However, if you could refrain from the name calling, that would be much appreciated.”

  I saluted my teacher and turned to Danny. “No offence meant, but I’ve got to say it how I see it.”

  The class erupted into laughter again and just as Mr Raymond moved to his desk the door creaked open. The noise of laughter dropped, followed by hissed whispers. I looked over to see what had caused the sudden change in the room.

  “Well fuck me,” I muttered as Sarah edged through the door and looked warily around at my classmates.

  “Can I help you?” Mr Raymond asked.

  “I think this may be my class,” she replied tentatively.

  “And who might you be?” Mr Raymond asked as he looked down at the register on his desk.

  “Sarah,” she said. “Sarah Danes. I’m supposed to be in History.”

  “Well, Miss Danes, you’re in the right place. Please take a seat.”

  She looked around and was about to head for a chair right in front of Mr Raymond’s desk with no one either side of it, when I kicked out the chair next to me and grinned.

  “I have a seat here, next to me, Mr Raymond.”

  Sarah’s eyes went wide and she took a little breath, her head turned to our teacher who nodded towards me.

  “Take a seat next to Adam, he’ll tell you which chapter you need to go to. We’re talking about the great Napoleon Bonaparte today.”

  “I can sit there,” Sarah said and pointed to the empty desk.

  Mr Raymond started to flick through some papers. “Go and sit with Adam, you’ll need someone to help you catch up.” He turned and flashed a smile at everyone. “Okay, Monsieur Bonaparte.”

  Sarah opened her mouth to protest, but Mr Ra
ymond waved her along. Her eyes searched the room for another empty spot, but there was only the one next to me. With a swallow, she walked slowly towards me. I couldn’t help but notice that today she was wearing a tight pair of jeans, instead of the baggy shapeless ones she’d worn the day before. I was surprised I hadn’t noticed earlier in the day when I’d made her squirm. I did notice now though, thanks to the baggy hoody which hung off her shoulder and stopped above her jeans, that she had a tight arse and trim waist.

  “Nice to see you again.” I smirked as she finally reached the empty desk.

  She didn’t answer, but her lips moved, and I was sure I heard her singing. Before I could make out what it was, Mr Raymond addressed the class and whatever he said caused another bout of shouting and talking.

  I kicked the back of the seat of the kid in front of me.

  “Hey, Eddie, what did he say?”

  Edward Stokes, the class nerd, sighed and turned around. “We have to get into pairs and write Napoleon’s victory speech for the Battle of Austerlitz.” He turned back around and shook his head when Shannon Harper dragged her chair up next to him.

  “Really?” he said. “You have no clue about history. Why are you even in this class?”

  “Because,” she hissed, “I got thrown off geology and need three A-Levels to get into Liverpool, so you better make this speech a good one.”

  “Well she’s a charm,” Sarah muttered.