Toni L.P. Kelner - Laura Fleming 06 - Death of a Damn Yankee

by Toni L. P. Kelner

  Though I was glad my explanation had gone over so well, I didn’t have any illusions that my next conversation would go as smoothly. I also knew I couldn’t put it off, so after Aunt Nora refused my offer of help cleaning up, I hunted Linwood down and asked if he’d come outside with me for a minute. Richard and I had agreed that there were things that needed to be said to him, and since he was my cousin, I ought to be the one to say them.

  Linwood didn’t look thrilled, but he followed me out to a quiet corner of the backyard, lit up a cigarette, and said, “I suppose you’re waiting for me to thank you for catching Marshall Saunders’s real killer and getting me off the hook.”

  “Don’t bother,” I said. “We both know I did it for your mama, not for you.”

  “That’s what I figured. So what do you want?”

  “I want to talk about the fires.”

  “What about them?”

  “You set them, didn’t you?”

  “Are you crazy? You know it was Floyd Cabiniss who set them—you proved it yourself!”

  “I’m not talking about the fire that killed Marshall Saunders, Linwood, or the fire at the home place. I know Floyd set those. I’m talking about the one in the old Woolworth’s building, and Drew Wiley’s chicken coop, and all the others. You set those fires.”

  “You’re full of shit!” he said, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes.

  “Then why were you the first on the scene for two of the fires? Why weren’t you at home when any of them were set? How did you go through all those cans of gasoline when your lawn hasn’t been mowed in months? Why have you been spending so much time driving around Byerly if you weren’t looking for other places to burn down?”

  I was nervous about that last question because I figured Linwood would realize that we’d been keeping tabs on him, but either he didn’t care or he already knew.

  “You can’t prove anything,” he said.

  “I don’t have to prove anything. I know I’m right. Linwood, it’s got to stop.”

  “What are you going to do? Tell Mama? Or Sue?”

  “Why bother? They already know, whether either of them will admit it or not.”

  He didn’t answer me, just furiously sucked on his cigarette.

  “What I am going to do is keep my ears open. If there’s one more fire set in Byerly, or anywhere near Byerly, I’ll find out about it. And then I’m going to tell Junior. She suspected you of being the arsonist all along, but she knows you didn’t kill Marshall, and if the fires stop, she won’t investigate any further. But if the fires start up again…”

  “There ain’t going to be any more fires,” he said, looking down at the ground.

  “I’m sorry, Linwood, but your just saying that isn’t good enough. I’ve read a little about people who set fires. It’s a compulsion. People don’t stop just because they want to.”

  He sneered. “Since when are you a head-shrinker?”

  “I don’t have to be a psychiatrist to know that Alton Brown couldn’t stop gambling on a bet, or that Augustus wouldn’t have quit smoking pot without his support group. You’re in the same boat.”

  “Are you saying you don’t think I’m man enough to quit?”

  “Of course you’re man enough—you’re a Burnette,” I said firmly. “But you can’t quit alone. You need help.”

  “Don’t you start talking about Reverend Glass. Mama’s been after me to go see him, and I’m not going to do it.”

  “That’s fine, but there are other people who can help. I wrote down a list of counselors for you.” With the help of some phone calls that afternoon, I’d found the names of several psychologists and psychiatrists, plus a group session. “Most of these are in Hickory, but there’s one in Statesville if you’d rather go somewhere farther from Byerly.” I knew that getting psychological help was considered a sign of weakness by some folks, so I thought it would be easier if Linwood didn’t have to worry about seeing anybody he knew.

  He took the list from me, but said, “How the hell am I supposed to get time off to drive all the way to Statesville? Not to mention paying for it.”

  “You just tell Burt Walters when you need the time off. Either take it as sick time, or make it up later. I’ve already set it up with him, but don’t worry. He doesn’t know why.” Burt had been curious when I talked to him, but he was still so happy about the mill staying in the family that he was willing to stay blissfully ignorant. “As for paying, your insurance from the mill should pay for part of it. When that runs out, just have them send me the bills.”

  “Are you serious?”

  I nodded. Knowing how tight Linwood and Sue’s finances were, I’d worried about that part. It was Richard who’d said that we’d take care of it, and if I hadn’t known before, I’d have known then that he was the perfect husband. As for Linwood, putting my money where my mouth was probably convinced him that I meant what I said quicker than anything else could have.

  Linwood looked at the list. “I guess this might be a good idea.”

  I hated to antagonize him again, but I said, “That’s not all I want you to do.”

  “What else?” he said suspiciously.

  “You’ve got to pay back all those people whose buildings you burned down just as soon as you can swing it. If you send it in cash, they won’t know where it came from, but they’ve got to be paid back.”

  “None of them buildings were worth more than two cents.”

  “Then send them two cents. No matter how much they were worth, it’s not right that the owners should be out the money.”

  He nodded, but still sounded hostile when he asked, “What else?”

  I took a deep breath, knowing that this was going to be the hardest piece for Linwood to swallow. “I think you should start being nicer to Caleb.”

  “The hell—”

  Raising my voice enough to talk over him, I said, “Caleb loves your mama, Linwood, and anybody with two eyes can see how much happier she is with him around. It’s not right for you to come between them. How would you have liked it if Aunt Edna had tried to keep you and Sue apart? A lot of women would have. They’d have said it was Sue’s fault she got pregnant and done their best to make sure you never saw her again. Sue’s own mother was all for her having an abortion, but Aunt Edna talked her out of it. She welcomed Sue into the family and helped throw you a nice wedding, and has never said a word against Sue. Isn’t that right?”

  “That’s different,” he muttered.

  “Why?”

  “Because I didn’t have a wife—Mama had a husband.”

  “Linwood, your father has been dead for four years,” I said gently. “That’s a decent interval for a widow to wait in anybody’s book. Aunt Edna was so lonely before she started seeing Caleb. You know she needs somebody in her life.”

  “But I don’t need another daddy!” he said defiantly, as if daring me to argue the point.

  I knew better than to even try. “Caleb doesn’t want to be your father. He just wants to be Aunt Edna’s husband. He treats her well, and they love each other. I don’t think you could pick a better man for her. Do you want her to spend the rest of her life alone?”

  He thought about it, but finally said grudgingly, “I guess not.”

  “Well, she will if you make her choose between you and Caleb. If it comes to that, even if it breaks her heart, she’ll choose you. Caleb knows it, too, which is one reason he’s been working so hard to get you to like him. He doesn’t want to lose her any more than you do.”

  Linwood didn’t say anything for a long while, and I wished I knew what he was thinking, but I’d said as much as I could safely say. The decision had to be his. Maybe if he still wasn’t convinced, whatever counselor he ended up with would be able to do what I hadn’t been able to.

  “I’ll have to think on it,” was all he would say. Then he hesitated for a couple of seconds, as if there was something else he wanted to tell me, but what came out was, “You want a beer?”

  I said, “
That sounds good.” Heck, getting offered a beer from Linwood was as good as getting a hug from anybody else.

  Chapter 38

  Richard and I headed back for Boston the next day, after an enthusiastic send-off from the whole family. Thaddeous was probably the happiest—now that Michelle had a job lined up, she would be able to move down in just a few weeks. It looked as if she was going to replace Miss Hunsucker, who’d suddenly handed in her resignation the day before. It seemed that she was one of Max Wilder’s many conquests at the mill, which explained how his credentials had passed muster. When he left town without saying a word to her, she realized how she’d been used by him and decided she was too humiliated to work at the mill anymore. I was sorry for the woman, but I was also glad that Michelle was going to be in a position where she could really make a difference at the mill. If anybody could drag Burt Walters into the twentieth century before it ended, it was Michelle.

  Despite all the fond farewells, and knowing that things were going to be all right in Byerly, I still found myself brooding on the plane. Richard being Richard, he noticed it almost before I did.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I’m not sure. Maybe I’m just worried about whether or not we did the right thing.”

  “How so? Linwood is going to be in therapy, Marshall’s death is avenged, the mill is safe, the family feud has ended, and Michelle has a job so she and Thaddeous can be together. As you-know-who said, ‘All’s well that ends well.’ ”

  “Did I really have the right to interfere so much?”

  “Burt Walters asked you to interfere, and so did Aunt Edna.”

  “They didn’t ask me to let Linwood get away with arson, or to let Max Wilder get away with what he did,” I pointed out. “They certainly didn’t ask me to get Floyd Cabiniss killed.”

  “Cabiniss got himself killed,” Richard said. “As for the rest, they did just what you wanted Aunt Maggie to do. They trusted you to do the right thing. Which you did.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “The important question is, are you sure?”

  I considered it. “I think so. I just keep worrying about how awful it would have been if something had gone wrong. And there’s still so much that can go wrong. What if Max Wilder graduates to something more dangerous than monkey-wrenching and con games? What if Linwood goes back to setting fires and somebody gets hurt? What if Burt runs the mill into the ground, and everybody loses their jobs and their pensions—”

  “Laura, you’re borrowing trouble. None of those things is going to happen.”

  “Probably not,” I agreed, “but they could.”

  “Is there anything you could have done differently? Or did you do everything you could think of to protect your family?”

  “I guess I did,” I said doubtfully. “It just seems like I’ve taken on a lot of responsibility.”

  “I don’t have as much family as you do, so it’s hard for me to judge, but isn’t taking responsibility part and parcel of being in a family? Maybe even the most important part.”

  “I guess you’re right.” I’d done a lot for the family before, from finding out who’d murdered Paw to helping Aunt Maggie when she needed to clear her conscience, but it had always been at somebody else’s request, and I’d mentally laid the responsibility for any consequences on them. Maybe it was time to accept a few consequences myself. And more responsibility, too.

  “Richard,” I said, “would you like a larger family?”

  He took my hand in his. “Are you asking what I think you’re asking?”

  I nodded. “I want to have a baby. If you want to, I mean.”

  The kisses he gave me were answer enough, even without a quote from Shakespeare.

  All the way back to Boston, we daydreamed about what it would be like to have a child, but I couldn’t help wondering how my family was going to react. They’d accepted my marrying a Northerner, but what would they say when they found out that a Burnette was going to give birth to a damn Yankee?

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Toni L.P. Kelner is the author of the Laura Fleming mysteries and the “Where are they now?” series. She has also co-edited, with Charlaine Harris, a series of New York Times bestselling fantasy-mystery anthologies, including Many Bloody Returns; Wolfsbane & Mistletoe; Death’s Excellent Vacation; and the forthcoming Games Creatures Play. Her short stories have been nominated for the Anthony, the Macavity, and the Derringer, and she has won the Agatha Award. Under her pseudonym Leigh Perry, she writes the Family Skeleton mysteries.

  ALSO BY TONI L. P. KELNER

  SKELETON FAMILY MYSTERIES

  (writing as Leigh Perry)

  A Skeleton in the Family

  LAURA FLEMING MYSTERIES

  Down Home Murder*

  Dead Ringer*

  Trouble Looking for a Place to Happen*

  Country Comes to Town*

  Tight as a Tick*

  Death of a Damn Yankee*

  Mad as the Dickens*

  Wed and Buried*

  ANTHOLOGIES CO-EDITED WITH CHARLAINE HARRIS

  Many Bloody Returns

  Wolfsband and Mistletoe

  Death’s Excellent Vacation

  Home Improvement: Undead Edition

  An Apple for the Creature

  Games Creatures Play (forthcoming from Ace)

  “WHERE ARE THEY NOW?” SERIES

  Curse of the Kissing Cousin (originally published as Without Mercy)

  Who Killed the Pinup Queen?

  Blast from the Past

  *available as a Jabberwocky ebook

  THANK YOU FOR READING

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