Everything in the woman's brain is connected. Everything in men's brains has various compartments.
Men have more gray matter, and women have more white matter. Meaning women process things much faster than men do.
Men are more likely to fall in love if they feel protective over you. This is an instinct in men.
Since men are more visual, you can communicate with them visually. Women are more kinesthetic.
Man example: I can't wait to be in your arms tonight. (Visual.)
Woman: it'll feel good to have you in my arms tonight. (Feeling.)
Note: not every male/female thinks visually/kinesthetic.
Men are competitive. If you want to use this against a male, be suggestive of having other options. As in, partners.
Women: men are hunters innately. If you want him to commit to you, don't bring it up, or even hint at it at all. Be independent.
Men are fixers.
Men will fall in love with someone who is intriguing... not perfect.
How to take advantage of this knowledge:
We are all narcissistic by nature. This means we want people to mirror the similar gender traits onto us. If you can show the opposite gender you have the similar psychology, and understand it, they fall in love.
target type: the nerd
Description:
Nerds intellectualize everything. They are analytical. They are constantly analyzing everything.
What is missing in their lives:
An adventure. A chance to experience things through their senses, not logic.
Their motivations:
To be superior with all their knowledge.
Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves:
To get out of their mental prisons, out of their heads. And, into the world. All they lack are the resources.
Idealized selves:
A mixture of an intellectual, sensual, and adventurous spirit. The genuine meaning of sensual is experiencing everything through your senses.
Their psychology/Possible psychological reasons:
Their intellect often makes up their self-esteem. It makes them feel superior to most people. If they are lacking in another department of their lives such as looks or friendships, they compensate with their intellect. They're stuck in mental prisons. Analyzing everything, intellectualizing everything. Their brains are over working.
How to get them to obsess over you:
They may feel superior however; they need to get out of their own heads. They long for it. You want to appear less smart than them intellectually, because you'll be a threat to their superiority. Take them on an adventure. Bring them out of their mind and into their bodies. Into the moment. Be spontaneous. And, be irrational. Be emotional. Act on your impulses, and emotions. (Don't over do it, though.) Never explain to them why you have such desires. Just be impulsive, and all caught up in your desires, that you won't have the time to explain why you have them. If you explain why, you're bringing them back to their logical mental prison. Because, it'll help them analyze you. Which is what you want them to escape from. Give them an experience that pertains to all five of their senses.
Be more dominant, and the leader, when it comes to experiences.
What not to do. How to get them to hate you:
Show off your intellect. Whatever their niche is, don't be smarter. Do not show you know more. Don't even show you know a thing or two. Although, you can challenge them. The difference between challenging someone's ego, versus threatening is their ego is that challenging someone's ego requires questioning their authority, in a fun playful way. Threatening someone's ego involves making him or her feel inferior, angry and making him or her feel like his or her knowledge is not valid.
Matching archetype:
The innocent, sexual and adventurous.
How you can tell:
They usually have the label of the "nerd, or scholar" already. Stereotypically a nerd is someone who has an interest in: science, physics, math, computers, and technology. While that is true, you must watch someone's language. If they have an innate curiosity. And, always asks why, how, what, where, and when. They need to know things and analyze things, and they think or read into things too deeply. They're the intellect. They like reading. Learning. Possibly writing. And, have a knack for soaking up information.
An example:
I had an ex boyfriend who was the prime example of intellect. He has been in love with me since I was 15. Now I'm in my twenties. We are the same age, but when we first met, I was so irrational. I went by all my impulsive desires. Definitely not as intelligent as him. At the time. So that made him feel superior. I brought him out of his mental prison. Introduced him to the world of drugs. Took his virginity. Drove fast cars with him, took him on unpredictable, dangerous, adventures. Talk about experiencing through senses eh? I wanted him to experience something different. Something out of his own mind. A different world. My world.
target type: the control freak
Description
Someone who wants to dominate everything. It is the obsessive and compulsive desire to control everything every thing.
Possible psychological reasons:
-It is usually based on fear.
-They lost control of something in their lives.
-They never had control in their life.
-Growing up, they were surrounded by were control freaks.
-Some accident came up, and they had lots of uncertainty. So, now they're driven by certainty.
-They feel powerless.
What is missing in their lives:
A sense of security. Control freaks try to gain a sense of security by attempting to control everything. Little do they know, the more they try to control, the less security they gain.
Their motivations:
To have certainty, by controlling everything. Or, at least trying to.
Idealized selves:
To either be in control of everything, or completely lose all control. This could be their suppressed self as well.
How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:
A control freak has dominant feelings of wanting control. So if you can evoke that feeling within them... you're good to go. It's all about creating and putting them on an emotional roller coaster. One minute they feel like you're under their control. Next minute, they can't control you. They'll grow attached and will continue to chase you, as long as they are under the impression that there is a chance they can control you.
Here's what you can do:
Appear as someone they can control. Mainly, the innocent type. As they begin to believe they can control you, trigger their inner control freak. First, realize what they were trying to control. Did they try to stop you from going out? Tried to stop you from doing certain activities? Start doing those doings. Go out more often. Do the activities they thought you wouldn't do anymore. For example, when I got a celebrity's husband to obsess over me, I could see he was a control freak because the first words he said to me were "if you're late tomorrow, I'm going to keep bothering you for the rest of the seminar." The seminar or course was one year. I was late almost everyday. The next day, I gave him the hope that he could control me. By being early. I saw the sparkle in his eyes. When he got used to it, I started coming late everyday. This grew his need to control me much stronger than if I stayed under his control. It's small things like that, that hint at being a potential control freak.
What to avoid:
-Being the other control freak.
-Avoid being too uncontrollable.
-Also avoid being too under control.
-To summarize two extremes aren't good.
How to get them to hate you:
Be boring. Be completely under their control. Lose all control. So they can't control you anymore.
How you can tell:
They're always trying to "help" you.
They need to know certain things that aren't necessary for them to know
.
Like:
Where are you going?
With who?
Why are you going?
What time are you coming home? (Even if they don't live with you.)
They ask you questions and try to make it seem like they're concerned for you, truthfully they're concerned about not being able to control you.
Ex. you're going out now? I think you should go to bed, Hun. It's really late, aren't you tired?
-They need excessive information about your past.
An example:
A guy I dated Palmer. I went on a one-week vacation to Asia. He called me every single minute. "To talk, and make sure I was safe." When we first started dating, I played the innocent, adventurous, intelligent type. He felt safe and secure because he felt I could be controlled, and manipulated easily. As time went on, and his security grew, I changed it up. I would wake up in the middle of the night, walk over to my neighbor’s house, we would drive his Porsche over to an empty highway, and speed all night.
One night I left my place at around 2AM to walk over to my neighbor’s. Just when Palmer had fallen asleep.
I got back at 4AM, and just like a lame cliché movie, he's sitting at the kitchen table, in the dark. He had confronted me that he knew I was leaving almost every night. He didn't know what I was doing. He assumed I was "cheating" on him. Yes, with a beautiful Porsche that satisfied me much more than Palmer did. The pain and suffering he was in, due to his beliefs of me cheating made me feel guilty. So I broke, and showed him what I REALLY did in the middle of the night.
He wanted to "help" me. I refused. He grew weaker and weaker for me. Eventually I told him I wanted to change, I didn't want to be this kind of person anymore. I stayed with that good girl routine for a while, until I went back to speeding in that beautiful Porsche all night long. He became even more attached. Eventually it backfired on me. And, he became way too controlling. So I ended things. It was fun while it lasted.
He wanted to control me, and change me into what he thought was the perfect girl. He was on an emotional roller coaster. He was angry, sad, disappointed. Then he was happy when I became that perfect under control girl. I gave him hope. Then crushed it. What he didn't realize was that, me being uncontrollable was making him become more obsessed with me. Due to his strong need for control.
target type: the innocent one
I personally prefer the innocent ones. The virginal. Pure kind. They're the easiest to manipulate and I enjoy overwhelming them with the power I hold over them. I enjoy being their first. I find pleasure in protecting the innocent, yet adding a touch of corruption in their lives. (Yes, I fit into the rescuer category.)
Description:
The innocent is someone who has uncorrupted eyes. They haven't experienced the weight of the world, and they see everything in a bright, naive light. Or, they have no bias towards the world. Their tastes are much like the pushover.
Their psychology/ Possible psychological causes:
Innocent people feel inferior. They feel they don't have enough knowledge and experience; therefore they want to be lead. They don't want to be treated like children because many people treat them like children. Getting like a child often makes the person on the receiving end appear inferior, and spineless. Even if they're grown adults. They're curious just like a child. They find their innocence a liability; it takes away from their lives. People associate sweet, nice and innocence with weakness. Innocent people are aware of this, and don't want to be seen this way, anymore.
I know because I look younger than my actual age and people treat me this way. I'm in my early twenties, and people have asked me "what grade are you in, and what high school are you going to?" They want to get out of that, and explore. I wanted to. Innocents want to possibly explore corruption. A dark side. The more people taunt them about being innocent, the more rebellious and dark they want to be. It’s seductive to them. It gets them curious.
Why? Because the more you tell someone not to be or do something, they think about it even more. Even consider planning out how they're going to accomplish the things you specifically ordered them not to do. (Reverse psychology.)
How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:
Have some kind of dark side, and some life experience.
You need to create some rapport and have some of their qualities. Specifically curious, playful and childlike. However, when it comes down to it, you must be the one leading, since they are the innocent ones. Innocents are innately followers. They want to be lead.
Matching archetype:
Play the charismatic leader and teacher. Who will teach them things about life, and lead them to experiences they only dream of.
What to avoid:
Being the innocent one. Avoid being the one who is too corrupted. Basically, avoid extremes. Being too innocent will repulse them, because you would not fulfill their void. Their void being the desire to escape their innocence. Being too corrupt, will frighten them, and leave them tainted. Having a balance of both will make them obsessed.
How to get them to hate you:
It would be hard for someone who is innocent and has fallen for you. Someone who has taken away their innocence, even slightly cannot be forgotten. The only way would be to abstain. You were their first. Memories will haunt them. Specifically memories that took their innocence away.
For the innocent one to hate you, you'd have to treat them like a child, like the others.
How you can tell:
They may be a little "ignorant" or not know what you are talking about.
More submissive nature.
Naive, vulnerable.
What is missing in their lives:
Experience. Corruption, the dark side. Knowledge of how life works.
Their motivations:
To gain as much experience, knowledge, and adventure as they can.
Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves:
To explore their dark, rebellious, wild desires.
To show everyone how much of a bad person they may be. This could mean rebellion, not playing their role assigned to them (the good girl, good guy).
Idealized selves:
Their idealized selves are leaders. They aren't shy, but can be aggressive. They get what they want, and when they want it. They can have the best of both worlds by having their innocent qualities, with a mixture of dark, daring qualities. The innocent's idealized self can show off their experience and knowledge of the world. They've finally escaped their inferior innocence.
An example:
In university, my business classes bore me. I wasn't exactly there because I expected to work in the corporate world for the rest of my life. University was a back up plan. So, I slacked off. Despite having higher marks than anyone in the class. In one of the classes, I had to pair up with another student. No one wanted to team up with me knowing how hard I worked at slacking off. So, I was left with a girl named Ray. She sat with her head hung low, playing with her thumbs as she avoided eye contact with anyone. Ignoring her awkward nervous gestures, I sat next to her and introduced myself. During our project together, she was intelligent, curious yet naive. She hadn't even experimented with pot yet. She had no experience, only the yearning for it. She had the dreams, but no resources to achieve them. I knew right there and then, we were meant to be in each other's lives. I've always been drawn to the innocent type. I never strategically planned to make her obsessed with me. If two people naturally fit each other's target types, and ideal lover criteria, it comes naturally, it is the best of both worlds.
I was the first person to give her a chance to try pot. I gave her experiences that were beyond her. From typical college parties, to fancy parties, to getting stranded in stranger's houses and abandoned houses. These were the experiences she was craving, taught her a few things about life, and gave her the chance to explore her dark side.
The most ironic and cliché part of the entire experience with Ray w
as that the student became better than the teacher. Eventually she knew more about drugs, and discovered more sneaky ways we could do things. She learned how to pick locks, knew how to speak to the police if we ever got caught doing something illegal, and everything in between. Parts of me were turned off that our roles had switched in this relationship. Eventually, I didn't care, and accepted this fact. I loved Ray for who she was, and didn't attempt to obtain anything from her, like everyone else. She was my best friend. We stayed the best of friends, until she committed suicide in 2013.
target type: the pushover
Description: Pushovers are the ones who are "too nice." They're the ones who are effortlessly persuaded, and appear to have no backbone.
What is missing in their lives:
-The chance to explore their dark, untamed, sinister side. The best way is for a person to enable the "nice person" is to be dark themselves. You can also lure them into spontaneous, daring, dark adventures.
-The chance to lose their manners, and be the "bad, reckless, aggressive cocky person" for once.
(See: imply a dark side chapter, in starting the process.")
Their motivations:
-Showing they're the "good person."
-Serving others.
-Be the protector, the hero.
Deepest darkest desires/ Potential suppressed parts of themselves:
-To delve into the dark side.
-To be free of their manners, their kindness and heroism.
How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You, Forever; How to Make Someone Obsessed With You Page 3