How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You, Forever; How to Make Someone Obsessed With You

by Scarlett Kennedy

  Here are some examples:

  Be superior, in comparison.

  Our brains are always comparing, no matter what. Something that is much superior in comparison to something previous to it, or side by side, will catch our attention. You'll be exotic. Meaning unusual, but in such an appealing way.

  What does this have to do with getting people to fall for me?

  Just be better (in comparison to people.) People try to do this all the time. So, if you can plan your efforts will come into place much faster.

  Some examples:

  -Have a friend that isn't as good looking as you. Basically, be the better looking friend. Whatever that means to you and/or your target, be more fit, taller, shorter, etc.

  -You're at an event, and you know what everyone else will be wearing. Black. Wear white. Wear gray. If you're a female, and all the girls will be wearing black tight dresses, wear a white dress, that flows like the wind. If you're a male, and all the other males are going to be wearing a black three piece suit, go in a polo. Just make sure, it's distinctive and you look good.

  -You can also apply this to your personality. If you know people are expected to be uptight at some social function, then be friendly. (still uptight, so you fit in, just a little.)

  -One I always get is, people expect me to be a snobby bitch, because of the way I look. However, I'm not. Unlike, other stunning women, I'm much better. And a keeper. It captures people's attention. (see: how receptive are you?)

  -If you are going somewhere you know there will be a certain race of people, be the only one who isn't that race. If I'm Asian and I go to a party in Barbados, then I'm bound to be exotic. Which is a good thing.

  -Do the opposite of what everyone else is doing.

  -If you're a female, most males are expecting you to seek a relationship. Don't talk of any kind of relations.

  -Also, red is an attention grabber. Wear red lipstick, red shirt.

  Make them feel.

  What memories stick out the most? Its most likely you remember the things that inspired the most emotions. Emotions are the essence of our memories. Everything else such as the images, conversations are secondary.

  What does this have to do with getting people to fall for me?

  People are most likely to fall for people that trigger and create emotions within their psyche. Emotions drive us, not logic.

  Some examples:

  -Shocking people. By doing the complete opposite.

  -Do something controversial. Have an unpopular opinion. Do, wear something against society's standards.

  -Make them laugh. Discover what leaves them bursting out in laugher.

  (See: what's so funny? In psychoanalysis book.)

  -Confuse people. Be unpredictable.

  -Make them sad.

  -Make them happy.

  -Make them feel guilty. Although I do advise against this. (because people will associate you with guilt.)

  -Make them feel alive.

  -Scare them.

  So many options! Think about this, what are some ways things, people, and advertisements have caught your eye?

  creating rapport

  Trust is the first step to penetrating through their psychological resistance to you. No one will do anything for you, or believe you if they don't trust you. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Trust is what births a relationship. Before any step on this list you're required to break down their walls, and get them to trust you.

  How to apply:

  Do NOT flirt with them. Seem friendly yet distant. People will automatically believe that you don't have any kind sort of romantic/sexual or suspicious intentions. People who are superior in status, beauty, and wealth, are much more apprehensive of people’s intentions. Hence, why you must do your homework on the person.

  By the same token, you can ignore them, or pay attention to someone they're close to. Of course this'll only work on people who are used to getting attention. For these types of people, You can bruise their ego a bit, by ignoring them.

  With people who aren't used to the attention, pay them more friendly attention, compared to the person that is used to attention.

  You can't seem too cold, or else they'll already assume your intentions. Which is, that you don't care for them. So you'll need to show some interest as well. But, the friendly kind of attention, in the beginning.

  Body language:

  Mimic their body language. For example, if someone is leaning in, lean in also. If their arms are crossed, cross your arms as well. The reason for this is because of neurons called mirror neurons. Mirror neurons mirror someone we feel we are close to. It is also responsible for our empathy.

  Have you ever observed that when you're out with a close friend, the two of you, drink your drinks at the same time. Or, you guys are both leaning in. Sometimes the two of you pick it up, but never thought there was any meaning to it. My best friend and I are like this. That's why this is happening, because our mirror neurons are mirroring each other. Mainly, each other's body language.

  There is also another technique that works wonders.

  You go into a room already expecting to have rapport. Particularly, when meeting new people. This is because when we are meeting new people, we're expecting to feel awkward. We care too much about what they'll think. But, with our dearest friends, we don't care. We already have set expectations that our meetings with our friends that things will go well, that we're going to have fun. That they'll love your conversations. Thus, in the beginning creating rapport this way works wonders.

  Just walk in, thinking "they'll love me." "We'll have an amazing time." Talk like you, and everyone in the room, already know each other. But, have your limits. Don't get too personal. You must keep the mystery alive.

  How to NOT mimic body language:

  Don't accurately mimic their body language. Give it a couple seconds until you do mimic their actions. They may pick up on it, and will feel as if you are being an idiot, or manipulative. If they are aware of what is going on.

  Example:

  If someone picks up their drink, pick up your drink, A few seconds after. Then you can change it up a bit, and pick up your fork or something relevant, if they pick up their drink again.

  Listening skills:

  When you’re a great listener, people will love you. Ask the person open ended questions, so they'll feel you're thoroughly interested. Interestingly, everyone's favorite subject is themselves. (see: are you listening? In starting the process section.)

  Timing on body language:

  You'll have to mimic their body language. But wait about ten seconds. Do something close to what they're doing. If they're crossing their arms, cross your legs. If they lean in. Lean in ten seconds later. If they pick up their glass, pick up their fork. Even if there isn't rapport in the beginning, you want to do this to build the rapport.

  Other additional ways to build rapport and trust:

  -if you're an authority figure.

  -if you're confident in what you're saying. Or at least, it seems so.

  -if everyone else is saying you're trustworthy. Refer to the chapter about social proof.

  -if everyone else likes you. Again, social proof.

  While you build a substantial amount of rapport, you'll want to have attractive body language.

  Attractive body language:

  -Leaning in, head tilted shows you're listening.,

  -feet pointed towards them, where your feet are pointed means you want to move towards them,

  -OPEN body language.

  -Eye brow partially raised, mouth slightly parted shows you're attracted.

  Unattractive body language:

  -Closed body language

  -Hunched back.

  -Head down.

  -Arms and legs crossed.

  To summarize:

  Building trust is an important step to having someone fall in love with you. Remember timing, and how to properly mimic someone's body language. And you'll be on yo
ur way to building trust and rapport.

  be a mystery

  Definition of mysterious:

  Not easy to comprehend, explain, or identify.

  You've heard this heaps of times. "Being mysterious works." But, why? Because our minds are always focused on finishing business. Our minds need certainty. Being mysterious gives people room to imagine things about you. We become confused when people are mysterious. When people are mysterious, our minds try to fill in the gaps by imagining things about the mystery. Basically, you've given them a puzzle to solve. Yet they don't know it. People grow overly attached to things they don't know about.

  When not to/ What not to do:

  If you're too mysterious, you'll seem snobby and uninterested in everyone. You'll still have to show a genuine interest in people.

  Behaviors/actions that'll make you mysterious:

  Be vague. Talk less:

  By saying less than required, you leave room for different types of interpretation, making it ambiguous. Consequently triggering their imagination, and curiosity.

  For example:

  When someone asks you: "What do you do?" what they truly expect from you is not just your position, but full details. This is what we're expected of people.

  An expected answer would be: "I'm a banker, I work for JP Morgan" or "I work for the marketing department for Saks fifth avenue". If you vaguely reply "business person" without providing additional details, you spark curiosity. However, the other person won't ask because they don't want to seem curious or too intrusive. As a result, they may also fear what your reaction may be, if they do inquire.

  Strategic absence:

  If you are always present, you become too familiar, thus becoming less scarce. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

  How to apply this:

  First, be present and get people to like you. Also associate yourself with wonderful things. Once they start enjoying your company, practice strategic absence.

  Sometimes, you won't even have to explain why you aren't around.

  Be unpredictable:

  Being unpredictable is about creating patterns people will get used to, and breaking the patterns. (once in a while, or people will think you're unstable, and potentially a nutcase.)

  For example: people think you're sweet and innocent, do something that is not so innocent.

  People think you're a nerd, do something foolish and dumb.

  You have a routine from 8-5. Go shopping at that time. Go sleep, something out of the routine.

  The entire point is, do something “out of character for you.”

  (Also see: play against your stereotype, imply a dark side.)

  Keep your intentions in the dark:

  If people don't know your intentions, they'll keep trying to ascertain. Everyone wants to know where they stand in a relationship. Are you guys friends? Friends with benefits? Exclusive? If you don't reveal your intentions, people will obsess over you.

  Let others brag for you.

  Everyone is quick to brag about their lives.

  A showoff isn't mysterious. They're innately revealing every small detail about their lives. You want to be a mysterious person? Let others do the boasting for you.

  Imply a dark side

  "I'm interested in people's darker side, the ones that aren't easy and well balanced. The cracks."

  -Noomi Rapace

  The reality is, most of us have and will use our willpower. We censor negative emotions like temper, envy, and our “inappropriate” desires. We don't let ourselves act on our most dangerous urges. Even though it can be a good thing, we're drawn to people who are this way. Most of us long to lose our inhibitions.

  A person with low inhibitions is, one or all the above:

  - has no verbal filters.

  - doesn't hesitate to take risks.

  - rebellious

  - pushes the limits.

  - gives into dangerous desires and temptations. Does not care about the consequences. They have the "Live for the moment" mentality. (See be in the present moment.)

  - fearless

  - spontaneous.

  A dark and thrilling person makes obsession much more potent than the person who is perfect.

  Be the forbidden:

  Everyone is curious about the forbidden. Most people are not verbal about it. Including the straight edge, and uptight people. Make your target feel that they are participating in something extraordinary and blood tingling. This is a chance to explore their shadow selves and sinister desires.

  Remember everyone feels like they have to play this role in society. They have to be the friendly person. Parts of ourselves, long to explore our dark side, without being well mannered. When you explore your dark side, you can be wild, freely express what you want to, and have absolutely no filter whatsoever.

  When to be dark:

  When you want to give your target uncertainty and inspire a sense of darkness.

  When you want to be unpredictable.

  When you want to be more desirable. (Being forbidden.) That’s why Adam and Eve could not resist the apple. It was forbidden.

  When not to be dark:

  When you have to be appropriate, and formal. For example, you don't want to be dark at a funeral. It is dark enough, as it is.

  Who this works on:

  -Everyone. It's mostly potent on women. Because they more pressures to be "a good woman." (Whatever that means.)

  -The nerd, and the innocent. Nerds, and the innocent, want to explore the dark side, outside of their minds.

  -The rescuer. The rescuer will want to change you, and rescue you, from your dark side.

  -The control freak. Once the control freak sees your dark side, they'll want to manage you more.

  Who this doesn't work on:

  -The person with the tainted heart. It'll still work with this person, but don't be too dark. They're tainted enough, they don't need to be more tainted. (see: the tough one, in the target psychology section.)

  Note:

  Don't be too dark. It'll scare people off. You'll produce the impression, you're the "criminal killer" dangerous kind of person. Not the fun, playful daring, exciting, dangerous.

  The core of your dark personality is your lifestyle and behaviors. Not, your looks. So there's no need to go and dye your hair black, purchase grungey clothing, and go gothic on us.

  social proof and becoming obsessed

  You examine the favorite person among your group, school or work. There isn't anything particularly special about them, but everyone seems to adore this person. Why? The answer lies within social proof.

  Social proof.

  Social proof is when people see that other people like you, and it automatically makes you attractive (think, the halo effect, as well). If everyone else loves it, then you should too? It adds much more value to you.

  Marketing uses social proof all the time. Through celebrities, being an "expert", the name of a brand like Gucci. That's also why there's a "like" button. It's shows it's liked by other people.

  'The crowds' social proof:

  This type of social proof is approval from large groups of other people. It's showing evidence that people, strangers give you their stamp of approval. Usually by these stranger's positive reactions to you. A common example, the opposite gender checking you out.

  What to do:

  To obtain this social proof, you must stand out. Find some way to grab people's attention. In a good way. Especially from the opposite gender. This adds much more scarcity to you. Your target will perceive your value to be much higher. (See: getting their attention, in starting process section.)

  'Friends' social proof:

  Get your targets friends to like you, and have many friends yourself who say lovely things about you. Don't brag about yourself, get his or her friends to brag for you.

  Or, having a large amount of friends increases your social proof. It shows people want to be around you.

  People like things that "resemb
le" them in some way. Your target's friends resemble them in some way. This is why you should get their friends to like you.

  Example:

  This guy I dated we'll call him shot gun. Shot gun wanted me to meet all his friends. When I did all of his friends thought I was stunning, and had my personality to match it. This made me 100% more attractive in his eyes. He also wanted to introduce me to his friends, and family, because he wanted approval from them, sort of like eye candy.

  Pick up artists, will always have an attractive girl by their side. Or, try to. This makes them attractive, even if they aren't. People unconsciously think "how did he get that hot female? There must be something special about him."

  the equal, superior, and inferior

  When I had received news my boyfriend died in a car accident, my life hit rock bottom. Five months later my best friend (the only person who knew about him.) Had committed suicide. Everyone had urged me to vent to them about how I had been feeling. The problem was they weren't friends. They were higher ups. They were my "superiors." I didn't feel comfortable sharing this deep painful side of myself to a superior. I just wanted a friend. I had none left. Everyone was playing the power game. No one was my equal. They were either superior or inferior to me. I just wanted an equal.

  Who do you feel more comfortable sharing your deepest self with? Someone who is superior to you, or your equal? You or anyone may not feel AS comfortable sharing an intimate version of yourself with a superior. Especially if it makes you feel inferior.