Be your target’s equal. Or, at least act like their equal, their friend. People are more likely to feel comfortable around you, if they feel like you're an equal. If you act superior, they'll feel threatened and intimidated. If you're inferior they've already conquered you. So be their equal. If you're they're equal, they'll never suspect you of any malicious or manipulative intentions.
Who this works on:
Power hungry people.
Rich person
People kiss their asses. People trying way too hard to impress them. An equal impresses them. An equal is rare to them.
Person who is insecure. Depending on what their insecurity is. People who are insecure may feel threatened if you play superior (although sometimes, it would aid.) So there is only one way to soothe their ego, which is be their equal.
Who this doesn't work on:
The innocent. They want someone who is superior to them.
When to be their equal:
-When you are trying to establish trust, and knowledge about your target.
-In the beginning, when you want to make it seem like you're "the friend." Thus, they don't become suspicious of you.
-When you want to be sympathetic.
When to be superior:
-When you want to be cold.
-When you want to establish authority. (sometimes, further into the relationship with the rich person, indirectly playing the superior, will work.)
-When your target is the innocent. (See innocent target psychology.)
-Submissive target
-If your target is a follower, not a leader.
-If you want to make them feel inferior.
When to be inferior:
-When you want to make your target feel superior.
-Target is power hungry.
-Want to get insider information.
single minded attention
Christian Grey. He's a stalker. He's a creep. And, has more advanced ways of stalking and creeping out Anastasia Steele, due to his wealth. (His version of impressing her.) Yet, women find this attractive. That's because this trait he has taps into a collective unconscious desire: the need for single minded attention. Christian Grey is a prime example of someone who provides single minded attention. Although, its not just him. There's Ryan Gosling from stupid crazy love. There's tons of articles about his techniques he's used in the movie to get laid. Again, he gives Emma Stone the single minded attention she deeply craves. It's not just women. It's men who crave this attention as well.
Explanation:
This stems from our childhood. We want all the attention to ourselves, which is a very human thing. We all still have this desire. Dormant or not. However, most of us, have either suppressed it or fantasize about having all of the attention to ourselves. People that can provide this need, we fall in love with. Provided, they fit other things in our ideal lover criteria. Concurrently, we live in a society that is all about "me me me."
How to take advantage of this:
Make your target feel as if they're the only ones in your eyes. The cold hard truth is most people don't want to hear about that hot girl or guy, or your ex. Or, your recent hookup. Or, about the fun times you had with friends. There are very few people that genuinely care about your well being, and want to hear about your life. Usually, a substantial amount of people make it seem like they care because it benefits them. And, if it doesn't benefit them physically (they gain reward, money, sex, a meal. these things are physical.) It will benefit them psychologically. Either it'll make them look like such a great person, or it'll make them unique. Because not many people will listen or pay attention to you, "because they're genuinely interested" these days. It'll make them feel like they stand out.
What not to do:
No one is completely selfless or selfish. Numerous people are more selfish than selfless. So, make them feel like they're the only ones in the world. You do this by allowing them to talk about themselves. You should discuss other people in your life, because the person you're trying to seduce would think you have no life. So, talk about your friends, that's fine. But, don't talk about other girls or men romantically. It is a threat to their ego. You don't want to threaten people's egos because it triggers the emotion, hate.
The key thing is, don't become an overly smooth talker. Don't compare them to other people. Even if it is a good comparison because it means you had someone else on your mind. They may not consciously realize that, they may even take it as a compliment but truly, you are also making it about the other person as well. Which we do not want to do. You want to show that your attention is focused on your target.
I'll give you an example, there was one guy I dated. We'll call him Italy. So, every time we went out, he would always talk about other girls. I wasn't interested in him. But, the fact that he has been trying to win me over for years, and he thinks bringing up other women will make that happen. Wrong. I dropped him like a hot potato.
Who this works on/ what circumstances:
Anyone who has a low self esteem/attention seeker:
People with low self esteem will seek external validation. They don’t give themselves any positive attention, that’s where you can fill the void.
The power seeker:
Anyone who is a power seeker loves the validation single minded attention, it makes them feel powerful.
Who it doesn't work on:
People who are already the stars of the show. In this case, you can do the complete opposite. Ironically, most people aren't the stars of the show. And, stars of the show get all the attention so much that it feeds their self esteem, it is the only thing they rely on. So, they need it too. But they're so used to getting their way.
If you want to get a star obsessed with you, just do the complete opposite. In fact, ignore them. Act like they don't exist. Don't act like you're intimidated and look down the whole time. But keep your head up and look around like you're bored and you're waiting for the next interesting thing to happen.
Remember, don't do this to someone who isn't used to the attention at all. You'll have to start very slow, because some people who aren’t used to it, may be cynical. And if you're too overt, you'll just seem manipulative and you desperately want something out of them.
make your target feel insecure
Why do we always return to people who make us feel insecure, and like absolute filth? Compared to the person who treats us like we're gods?
Because we want to impress the people who make us feel insecure. When they soothe our insecurities, a voice says "see, THEY DO CARE." Then, it happens again, and we're back in the duplicate cycle. Once you make someone insecure, they are hoping you make them feel confident again.
What to do about this?
1) Discover what they're insecure about.
2) Link their insecurities to you. Example: if they're afraid of abandonment, hint at abandoning them.
3) Soothe their insecurities. Example: after you hint at abandonment, give them hope again, by showing them you're always around.
How can you discover someone's insecurities?
You will be able to see it in their reactions to things. Their body language when you discuss certain things. If they get defensive about something (it'll show in their tone, body language) then you know it is something they fear or will get them angry.
Most people will not admit their fears. Unless they are very honest. Which is quite rare. It will come out in their unconscious behavior. You can also tell by what they "joke" about. Most jokes aren't jokes. They are an indicator of what our unconscious resonates with and believes, and potentially suppressed sides.
Here are two examples:
One guy who has been after me for a year now. We will call him redneck. He always "jokes" about me ditching him. One day we were watching a basketball game together. I complimented his long hair, and he explained he needed to cut it in two weeks.
"So I guess that'll motivate you to see me for the next two weeks" says redneck. See? He
didn't even to tell me. You can just read it from his unconscious behavior.
Here is what I did/do:
When he jokes about that abandonment. I don't try to reassure him that I'll see him. (Plus that makes me scarce). I just look at him with passionate eyes, and smile gently. I see in his reaction and he starts fidgeting and he'll start babbling. (An indicator that he is incredibly nervous. Most people need to fill in the silence.)
I pull back which makes him even more nervous. Then I finally add the cherry on top and soothe his anxiety by telling him I am happy to SEE him. (The reason why I tell him I am happy to see him is because I already messed with his insecurity about abandoning him. And, not SEEING him anymore. So I erased his fears by telling him I was happy to be there.)
I also used his specific language on him which were see.
See what I did there?
I specifically used the word "see" because using their words, means speaking their language.
Second example:
Youngin.
I noticed one of his fears: Not being cared for.
This is how I found out: we went to see a movie, and I got him sick. Apparently. He informed me the next day that he blames me for being sick. That night we spoke on the phone, and these were my exact words "I'm sorry, kind of." In a very cold tone. He got emotional about it, and continued to bring it up. The day after I asked him how he was feeling and he said "my cold is gone. But I'm glad you care today. Yesterday you didn't care at all. My feelings are pretty hurt." I asked him if he was being sarcastic and he said yeah he "was just kidding"... bullshit.
What I did:
When he brought up "me not caring yesterday, but me caring today." I just brushed it off and said "well if you say so." He grew quiet. And, changed the subject. His voice got shakey. After I could see he was reaching his breaking point I said "Listen youngin. You know I care. How can I make it up to you?" He automatically cheered up. Apparently me making it up to him is something he is looking forward to. Since he keeps bringing it up. I verbalized my "care" for him, because he needed verbal validation.
The reason why this works is because you are putting a person's ego and vanity on the line. If you make them feel insecure they will want to overcompensate. But, if you spark that hope, that you do care, afterwards (it's all about timing) they'll feel like they had impressed you.
Our subconscious minds are always seeking to make things better. And, if you are the one who makes them feel insecure, then made them feel better afterwards they will become emotionally dependent. They'll associate you with the answer to them feeling more confident. Once you make them feel insecure, they hope you will make them feel confident, as you once did.
Make them FEEL.
-For example if they think they're ugly make them FEEL beautiful.
-if they have low self esteem focus on them and only them.
Your exclusivity
The definition of exclusive is restricted, or limited.
Dirty little secrets. Everyone wants in on a little secret. If you've ever watched the series "Shameless", Kevin's bar is losing its customers to a little secret bar, because the bar was EXCLUSIVE. The bar was also hard to find, which made it appear much more exclusive. They only let in a specific group of people come in. Whereas Kevin's bar allowed every single person to come in.
Everyone wants to feel as if they are part of something exclusive. That's why brands like Chanel and Hermes draws people in. Because of their exclusivity. Exclusivity is associated with the elite. It pertains to our need to belong to a group or community.
How to take advantage of this:
1) Have a secret:
Everyone wants in on a secret, specifically a top secret. Be mysterious and ambiguous. Make it appear you are exotic and are part of some esoteric group. Use language that is ambiguous, have inside jokes, and give people glimpses of your life without revealing what is truly going on, but enough to spark curiosity and their imagination.
Examples: Prince, spoke in riddles. I knew a lady who lived in his neighborhood in Toronto. He spoke in riddles. Even though this haunted people, it still drew them to him. His riddles also made it seem like he was connected to some kind of esoteric knowledge or group, that no one knew of. This made Prince's allure more captivating.
Glimpses of your life:
Sometimes I would have people call me in front of a desired group I chose, and I would discuss something that was stir people's curiosity without satisfying it.
For example:
I was with a group of a few friends. I had someone call me, and discuss a man who we believed to be interested in a strange fetish. This is how the conversation went (on my end):
As the phone rang, I looked at it with a look of horror. I answered the phone almost shaking.
"H-h-hello?"
"Oh my god. He's still there? Holy fuck!"
"No, are you serious? That's so fucked up."
"You need to get out of there, like ASAP."
"Okay, no, no, no. I'm really sorry."
"I just don't like it....."
"Shit. Holy fuck. Don't scare me. Shit, just get rid of him. Like eliminate him."
At this point my friends are giving me various looks of horror, and confusion. I took them on some kind of emotional roller coaster with me, while giving them glimpses of my life.
At the end of the phone call, I made no comments about it, and acted like that phone call never happened. Everyone was attempting to conclude what that phone call may have been about, and who was on the other side. I gave them confused looks, and never brought it up. Occasionally they still bring it up, which shows how effective being mysterious and showing off glimpses of your life is.
2) Be difficult to get a hold of:
Make it seem like they'd need to make an appointment to speak or see you. That's how difficult it should be, to get a hold of you. Don't answer phone calls for a specific period without any explanation. Mysteriously disappear.
Who this works on:
Idealistic people:
They're always fantasizing, and daydreaming. If you make it appear you're a jar of secrets, and you give them space to imagine. They'll always imagine what this secret may be. And, they'll imagine what they'd want it to be.
Control freaks:
Because they're driven by certainty. Once you give them that uncertainty, they'll become obsessed.
People who have the "me too" syndrome:
These people are constantly agreeing, because they desperately want to fit in. Being part of an "exclusive" club, often involves fitting in, and belonging to a group. Play on their weakness, by being exclusive.
Who this doesn't work on:
People who feel threatened by not knowing. They may obsess over it. But you may come off as lying or not trusting them. And they may just walk away.
When to use this:
-In the beginning, to trigger their curiosity and make them want to be a part of your life, much more.
When not to:
-When you want to show you have let them in.
To summarize: Get people to try to join your exclusive club. By making them feel like they're part of something extra ordinary, and top secret.
play innocent
People that appear harmless, or "square" are easier to trust. They are innocent, and would never touch a fly... right?
Explanation:
Innocence gives you power and control over people, because your target will believe that they have the upper hand in your interactions. If someone feels superior to you, they won't see you as a threat, to their superiority, status, or ego. Therefore they will be receptive, and trusting. Because "you could never do such a thing!"
There's two reasons why you play innocent. First reason would be, that people want to feel superior to others. People want to feel safe mentally. Meaning, no one would attack them mentally, and emotionally. And, no one else would threaten their position of power. (Whether it be knowledge, beauty, career, etc.)
&nbs
p; What to do:
Allow your target to feel superior. Figure out what it they want to feel superior about. Common examples are intellect, looks, and career. Even if they aren't superior to you, make them feel superior about whatever it is they desire to feel superior about. By subtlety complimenting them. Or, by allowing them to continuously talk about their superiority. Why not both?
What not to do:
If you act completely innocent, like someone who has been born yesterday, they will treat you like a child.
When to use this:
When you know your target has the desire to feel superior. When you want to get information out of someone, their secrets and information you want to know will pour out of their pores.
When not to use this:
When you want to play up your dark side, or your confident side. If you show you're innocent all the time, people will develop the inability to take you seriously.
Examples:
If you want information from a superior, or you want something done for you, you can play up a strategic weakness.
Information from a superior:
Just act innocent, and mildly clueless. (In a cute forgiving way.) I used to have jobs where I would act much more stupid and innocent than I was. Yes, people thought I was "stupid" and "naive." But, the results: people felt superior to me, they didn't see me as a threat so they would TELL ME things about other people, things that I shouldn't know, about the company, about the other employees, and my employee. That, I would later on use to make more money, and to my advantage. Of course, I kept all the information confidential.
How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You, Forever; How to Make Someone Obsessed With You Page 8