It could be the tone of your voice, (a dreamy dazed tone.) Your amusement by the beauty of the scenery, your target's dress.
Example:
Wow, isn’t the scenery so beautiful? (dreamy, yet subtle tone.)
Add in a hint of sexuality as well. The hint of sexuality can be through your eyes, your body language. Make it non verbal.
What not to do:
Don't be too pretentious.
Don't be too overt about how romantic things are, or your sexuality.
Don't be too corny.
If you DO the above, people will be repulsed, think you’re some kind of sleaze ball, and run, very fast.
Example:
Person who will read poetry to you, when they know you don’t like poetry.
their experience with you
“I've learned that people will forget what you said. people will forget what you did. but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
Emotions will always stick with us no matter what. Even when the memories are long gone. They'll always remember the emotion. Our emotions drive us. Not our logic, and that's a fact.
How to take advantage of this:
Give them an experience of a lifetime:
The experience they've been yearning for. Keep an eye on the experiences that have become a routine for them.
Are they always working? Going out for dinners? Are they fascinated by danger? Provide the experiences they lack, and would die to participate in. Induce multiple, and in particular, their suppressed emotions. Whatever you do, always evoke an emotion. Any emotion. Your presence will leave residue in their minds, and hearts. This is what the most famous marketers induce.
When to use this/who to use it on:
Someone who has a boring life.
Someone who is used to routine.
The innocent one.
All these target types desire an exceptional experience, along with the emotions that tag along with it.
However, you should generally supply everyone with extraordinary experiences.
When not to/who not to:
Someone who is always experiencing uncertainty. Again, it works on everyone. You must experience good things with everyone.
reverse psychology
Don't you dare think imagine that pink elephant!
I bet you did. Actually, I'm 100% sure you thought about that pink elephant.
What is reverse psychology?
Reverse psychology is getting someone to do something by telling him/her to do the exact opposite. Our subconscious minds processes everything as positive. So it'll challenge the person, and it might make them want to do the suggestion, much more.
Why does this work?
Once someone takes away our sense of freedom, control, and choice either by telling us not to do it, or forbidding us. It motivates us to rebel, and do the exact opposite.
When to use this:
-When you want to challenge them.
-Bring them out of their shell.
-Motivate them. Reverse psychology must only be used in a positive direction, and in a teasing tone.
Example:
Telling your target “I bet you can’t do x” might motivate him or her to do the opposite just to prove you wrong.
What to do:
It all starts with two voice tones. The flirty tone, and nonchalant. It depends on the type of tone you want to project. But DO NOT sound like you are trying too hard, your target will become aware of what you're trying to do. Also, don't sound angry. Or, risk threatening their ego.
When to not to use reverse psychology?
It depends on the situation, and the person. You wouldn't want to use reverse psychology on someone who is insecure. Or, if someone is trying something for the first time, of course they're going to be insecure and feel like they can't do it!
Who not to use this on:
-People who are insecure, and lack confidence. Might make their seeks esteem lower. You can use this if you want to make them feel insecure. But, follow up with making them feel good again. (see: make them feel insecure, in this section.)
-people who are new to something. (Again, with the confidence.)
-Flexible people. People who are more likely to agree with you.
Who to use this on:
-Type A personalities.
-The nerd.
-The rich person.
-Narcissists
-Stubborn people
-Control freaks
-People who are very resistant.
What do all these people have in common? They all have amplified egos.
So, remember... DON'T use reverse psychology to challenge and get what you want. ;)
what are you associated with?
Associations are two things that are linked together. It is when the mind links two things together.
Example:
When you imagine the movie Fast & Furious, you think speed, power. This is what an association is. The mind correlates two things together.
How to take advantage of this:
What do you want to be positioned as in someone's mind?
Give yourself one prominent characteristic. If you want to be positioned as someone who is sexy. Then have sexy characteristics. Whatever sexy means to you. Talk around your characteristics, not about them. Discuss sexy things, sexy movies. (No, not pornos) wear sexy things. Have a seductive husky tone. (When you are indirect, and represent these things rather than vocalized what you are, this will affect their subconscious mind.)
Colors:
Different colors are associated with different meanings. Pink is love. Red is lust. Wear colors that you want to be associated with. If you wanted to be associated with mystery, or power. Wear black. Purity and innocence is white.
The activities and environment you were in:
Most people may associate you with the environment you first met in, and/or the activities you participated in.
Body language:
If you had positive, and attractive body language that would be associated with you. Vice versa.
Remember in business, certain products took over the entire market. Instead of using the verbs themselves, the names of companies are the verbs and/or nouns, themselves.
Examples:
If you want to know something. It's "just Google it."
Want a tissue? No, it's "hey, want a Kleenex?"
Why?
People all associate each other with something. You may as well choose what you're associated with.
Because you want to be the best at something. You'll create something. You'll start a trend, people will come in second and try to steal, and copy you. But, no one could compare to you. Just like no other brand can compare to Chanel. Or, Louis Vuitton. You want to own that shit. If you want to start something, be unique. Own the entire market. Instead of climbing the corporate ladder, own it.
Do you want to be remembered? Or, completely forgotten. Your pick.
When to use this:
It is usually engrained into someone's mind the first time they meet you. Within seconds they will automatically create an impression of you. They will associate something with you. So, act, and strategize fast.
When not to:
If someone has a strong opinion on you, it'll be hard to penetrate through those walls, but it can be done. The strong opinion doesn't need to have to be good or bad either. It can be one or the other.
What not to do:
Don't try to verbally convince someone that you are a certain way. Just act AROUND IT. Because if you try to verbally convince them, their conscious mind will try to block it out, as a result, not penetrating the subconscious mind. Which is what is in charge here. The mind will only associate you with whatever you desire to be associated with, if you represent it, indirectly.
Who this works on:
People who are prone to idol worshipping. They are prone to this because they're empty and they cannot think for th
emselves. They are sheep and need to worship something or someone.
This works with extroverts as well, because some extroverts like "labeling" themselves.
People that obsess over the media.
Overall, everyone. Because, we are inherently associating everyone with something. (It’s how we remember them, especially the first time meeting.)
Who this doesn't work on:
This will pretty much work on anyone.
Example:
You know of someone you think of when something is mentioned. Here are a couple of examples.
The local drug dealer. "Yo man, where can I get some pot?"
"OH! That's easy! Let's just call up Jay. (I use jay because jay is such a common name for a drug dealer name back when I was in high school.) So jay is branded as the gangsta, drug dealer.
Something a little more sexist, but this is definitely a real example. I've seen in school, and in the real world, often. "Yo man, I really need to get laid."
"Oh, well haven't you heard about Savannah?"
"Oh yeah she's a slut! I'll go hit her up right up."
See? Savannah and jay are both the go to people, for things. These people haven't even thought about other people. Obviously this goes outside of high school, and into the real world.
will they approach you?
One of the reasons people want to approach me is because I'm receptive. I'm open and friendly to all people. If you appear a bitch or asshole, people will be too intimidated by you, to even want to approach you. If you're wondering why people don't approach you, your receptivity is the answer. You need to be receptive, because their ego won't feel like you'll reject them. No one likes being rejected. Unless they are an emotional masochist.
What's the difference between someone who is approached often, and someone who people ignore? The difference is that the person who is approached often appears/is receptive.
Receptive people are people who are open. We like to be around receptive because they are willing to receive something. In this case, our interest. Receptive people also reciprocate our interest, or at least it seems like it. We won't feel rejected once we see someone who is receptive.
The appearance of a non-receptive person:
-Busy. Reading, earphones in, talking on phone.
-Angry, sad, frustrated, agitated.
-Intimidating. Too good looking for their own good, "tough looking such as gangsters, thugs." Or, the beauty.
-This person may not even feel negative emotions, they may just have the "resting bitch face" Unfortunately, I suffer from the resting bitch face.
The appearance of a receptive person:
-Open body language.
-Not busy.
-Peaceful or happy look on face.
-Smiles at the person who wants to approach. This is an invitation that screams "Yes! You're permitted to approach, and I won't reject you!"
How to take advantage of this:
Portray the appearance of the receptive person.
What not to do:
Have the appearance of the non-receptive person.
When to apply:
-When you're interacting.
-When you want to be approached.
-Bonus: if you're at an event or party, stand where many people are going to walk to obtain something (bar, snack table) AND look receptive.
When to stop. When not to:
-When you want to establish boundaries.
-When you don't want someone to approach you.
are you listening?
The best listeners are therapists. You're sitting there talking or venting about a recent problem that has come up in your life. But your friend keeps interrupting with comments such as "that's so sad." "That's horrible why would they do that to you?" "Everything will be okay." Then when you *nicely interrupt with YOUR rant, they decide they want to give you advice. You listen to make it seem like you are considerate and kind. But all you want to do is tell them to shut the fuck up and just LISTEN. But, it feels like no one does.
Then when someone comes along who does genuinely listen, you find you can't stop babbling. You're embarrassed by the thought, but it’s become a guilty pleasure.
Let them talk more. Be a good listener. I say this because people are familiar with having other people trying to sell themselves. But, once they come across a good listener, they can be the one to sell themselves. An opportunity they can't resist. They want to show off the things they have accomplished and have done in their lives. Allow them. Let them be the star, and have the spotlight. This'll also make them feel powerful. And, once you get someone talking they usually share more information than they intended to share. Which is bad for them, and good for you.
In short, people want to be heard. Who doesn't?
What to do about it:
Ask opened questions. Open ended questions give them room to elaborate on their answer, rather than a yes vs. no answer.
For example, a yes and no question would be: “Did you like living in France?”
An open ended question would be:
“What did you like about living in France?”
“Why did you decide to move there?”
Don't be judge mental. Even saying "that's good" is a judgement. Adding any labels to anything is a judgement. The less you judge the more they want to give you information. Also, when you ask them a question and they finish, continue looking at them and they'll give full answers, or give you more details. It's an interesting psychological trick.
Most people don't know how to truly listen. There are four types of listeners, or a combination of all. The people who are thinking about other things. Like "what am I going to have for dinner today?"
The second one is someone who has information go through one ear but out the other. So they can hear you, but they're not listening.
The third one is someone who is listening but they're trying to come up with the most clever thing to say. Or the "wisest" reply, so people can say "oh my god. That was so smart of you." "That was so wise" of you.
The last one someone who is listening to give advice, or them wanting to project their experiences onto you.
So, how do you really listen?
Have a clear mind. Don't go in with any biases, opinions. Just listen. And really concentrate on the person. Whatever comes to your mind, give them that answer. For me, I love to meditate on what people are saying. When I’m on the phone, I close my eyes, and focus on the person’s voice.
Works on:
Everyone.
When to use:
-Whenever someone is speaking.
-When you're speaking of deep personal things, with the other person.
What not to do:
Don't be "such a good listener" where people think you have no opinions. Or no life, too passive or boring. Have some opinions and listen whenever someone is speaking. And, don't interrupt! In other words, have something to say, when it is appropriate.
For example, I knew a man who listened but never had anything to say. His only replies were "mhmmmmm." And, he'd rub his chin. He did warn me beforehand, that he was too passive, and boring for me. At least he said something useful, and honest there. However, during the our conversations I would mistake his passivity for the cold shoulder.
resistance
You're going to experience three types of resistance:
1) Psychological resistance. They may be resistant to your efforts.
Why?
-They may be resistant because they don't want to feel agony.
-People are naturally resistant to change.
How to deal:
This is just how we're naturally wired. Be patient. Don't force it, or they'll be more resistant. If you force it, what they resist persists. Unconsciously they'll be grateful you gave them the time to adjust. That is, if you don't become resentful and impatient.
2: You may not fit a certain quality they have on their ideal lover checklist.
How to deal:
Don't bother. Don't take this personally. You don't want to waste your time anyway. If it's something like a racial preference, then don't bother. But, if it's something more simple like you aren't adventurous enough, then you can adjust your levels of adventure to appeal to theirs.
How you can tell:
You'll be able to tell what your target may be missing in their lives, that you can't provide. See where their disappointments, and melancholy lies.
3) This is the type of resistance you want to have: a forbidden romance. Create some romantic and/or sexual tension by making the circumstances inevitable the two of you, may end up together. Or, can't be. For example, someone or both of you are married. The tension will grow your desires. It is true: we want what we can't have. So, take advantage of this, by creating that tension.
How will I know if there is resistance?
-They'll be mean to you.
-They'll try to avoid you/easily becomes defensive.
-They'll try to avoid looking at you. Have you ever noticed those people that try hard not to stare at you? But, you can tell anyway? Well, it's because they want to stare at you. They don't want to make it seem like you have any significance over their minds.... but you do.
-They'll try hard to act like you don't exist.
How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You, Forever; How to Make Someone Obsessed With You Page 10