Ten Little Girls

by Willow Rose

  He ran to her and grabbed her legs, then lifted her up against the iron gate. It was at least seven feet tall. Emmy wasn't responding. John was crying helplessly while I - ignoring the pain in my leg - climbed the gate and reached up for the string tied around her neck and pulled it off. The lifeless body of Emmy fell into her dad's arms, and he bent backward with her tightly hugged in his embrace, weeping.

  "Call for an ambulance," I said as I managed to get back down, my leg in throbbing pain.

  "It's coming with the police," Sue said, looking in despair at John with his daughter in his arms. "I figured we needed…one."

  John sank to his knees with Emmy on top of him while I could hear the sirens wailing in the distance. I felt so helpless and couldn't stop crying.

  "Is she…is she…?" Mary asked.

  I shook my head. "I don't know."

  John held his daughter tightly, and his crying suddenly stopped. He put his ear closer to her chest.

  "I felt her heartbeat," he suddenly yelled, almost laughing. He fumbled and put a couple of fingers to the skin of her throat and pressed down.

  "I feel a pulse," he said. "I feel a pulse; there's a pulse and a heartbeat. There was a heartbeat; I heard it!"

  He put her down on the ground then looked at her face. "Emmy? Baby girl? Are you there? Baby?"

  The girl lay lifelessly still, while her dad sobbed and laughed at the same time. He kept calling her name and soon the place was swarmed by police and paramedics, handling Emmy.

  "I felt her heartbeat," John kept telling them like he wasn't sure they would believe him. Like he had to convince them she was actually still alive. "I felt it. When I put my ear to her chest. There was something like a small sound suddenly…like tap-tap. Just real quick and that's how I knew…she was still…I mean she is still…isn't she?"

  The paramedic nodded without looking at John. Instead, he addressed his colleagues.

  "I have a pulse, but she’s barely breathing. We need to get her on support. Let's get the BVM ready."

  We all watched, hugging one another, as John went with the ambulance and Emmy was rushed to Cape Canaveral Hospital. Holding one another, we were hoping and praying that she would survive this. Deep down, I couldn't help being slightly jealous of John. If Emmy survived this, then he had actually gotten his daughter back. The rest of us could only pray that we would be as lucky.

  53

  January 2000

  The worst thing in Jane's life hadn't been her husband's beatings; it was the separation from her children. It turned out to be the most painful experience she ever had to endure. And soon the longing began to take a toll on her health as well. At the age of only twenty-eight, she suffered two heart attacks and was barely surviving the second one.

  When she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw nothing but gray hair and beginning lines. She looked so tired, but barely even cared anymore. It wasn't like she was going to meet a new man, not that she was even looking. The idea of finding love was so far-fetched it almost made her laugh at her own reflection, had it not been so tragic. This was certainly not the life she had dreamt of when she had been lying in her bed at night as a teenager, fantasizing about her future.

  She regained contact with her mother; that was the good part, and her mother helped her get her life back on track. She got a job at a local Walgreens and, with the money she made, she was soon able to pay rent for a small condo in Cocoa Beach, close to her children. She wasn't allowed any contact with them until she had gotten her life on track, they said, and after six months of separation, she was finally told she would be allowed to spend an hour with them, supervised, naturally.

  Jane felt more excited to see them again than she had ever been for anything in her life. She also felt more nervous. Would the children remember her?

  It was Colleen who brought them to her condo. Jane watched them drive up into the street below and watched while biting her nails as they got out of the car. Even Matthew was there in a car seat that Colleen carried out. Jane almost screamed when she saw them approach the front door and soon heard the buzz on the wall.

  Jane rushed to it and buzzed them inside, then opened the front door, straightened her skirt, and took in a deep breath to calm herself down. The last thing she wanted to do was to throw herself at them when they arrived. She had to seem as normal as possible, as together as possible. Colleen would be watching her every move, listening to her every word, and inspecting the condo, checking her fridge, and looking for dirt and dust, Jane's mother had warned her.

  "This is important if you want your kids back. You've got to be on your best behavior and look your most presentable. The hard part will not be when they arrive, but when they leave. You've got to let them go without crying or acting crazy, you hear me?"

  She had heard her, and she remembered her words while standing at the top of the stairs, listening to her babies' voices approaching, butterflies flickering in her stomach. Everything inside of her wanted to scream their names, to run down toward them and grab them in her arms and never let go of them again. Ever.

  But she couldn't. The children lived with Aunt Melissa and Uncle Jim now, and she had to accept that until things were changed. If she ever wanted them to change, this was her moment.

  54

  May 2018

  Sune made dinner for me that night, and we ate together on the porch, listening to the waves crashing onto the beach. It was a gorgeous night out, and the moon rose from behind the ocean and stood like a white ball above our heads, lighting everything up. It always amazed me just how bright the moon shone here compared to at home. If I stood up, I actually cast a shadow.

  Sune poured me a second glass of wine, and I smiled at him. The kids were done with their food. They grabbed their plates and went back inside.

  "Nice evening, huh?" Sune said and pulled his chair close to mine. I nodded and looked up at the stars above us.

  "How was your training today?" I asked, trying to think about something other than Julie.

  "Really good. Dr. Herman says I'll be done in two months. I am at eighty-five percent of my mobility now. I even ran a little today, just for four minutes, but I ran, Rebekka. Can you believe it?"

  "That's amazing, Sune," I said with half a chuckle. I was so thrilled for him, I really was, but it was hard to be happy in this situation. Sune noticed that my enthusiasm was pretty forced and put his hand on top of mine.

  "I know it's hard. I just thought I'd tell you the good news."

  "I know, sweetie, and I am truly happy. It's great. No, it's better than that; it's amazing news, honey. It's what we’ve hoped for for so long. I just wish…well, that Julie was here. I miss her so terribly; it almost hurts to even think about it. I can't stand having to spend yet another night without her. She's my daughter, Sune. She's my everything."

  "Of course. You're scared. No wonder after what happened." He sipped his wine. "So, how's the girl. Will she survive?"

  "Last I heard, yes. She's still unconscious, but stable. So that's good news."

  "And what about the phone that they texted from? Could they track it?"

  I shook my head. "I spoke to Jack earlier, and he said it was a dead end, unfortunately. The search after it sent them to a place an hour north of here, where they found the phone in a trash can. They say they're going to check for fingerprints, but if the kidnappers have gone to this much trouble in order for us not to trace it, then I have a feeling they won't be as careless as to leave fingerprints."

  "You might have a point," he said.

  "Jack is certain they will mess up at some point, though," I said. "He says they always do. I’m just not sure I want to sit here and wait for it, if you know what I mean."

  "It's frustrating." Sune sipped his wine again.

  "So, now what? We just wait again? Wait to see who's next, huh? How long till they reach and then there were none? Are you telling me all we can do is just sit here and wait? I mean, what do these people want from us? They’ve demande
d no money or anything else. Do they just want to toy with us? Make us jump and run? What kind of sick people would do this? And what about us? Are we just supposed to sit here and let them toy with us in their sick game?"

  "Is there anything else we can do?" Sune asked.

  "That's what I want to know too. I want to get ahead of them somehow. But I don't know how. I tell you, I sometimes wish they would just torture it out of Mr. Meckler. If they’re right and he is a part of it, then he must know more."

  "Could you really live with yourself if you knew they tortured him?” Sune asked.

  I shrugged. He had a point. I was against torture, but then again, this was my child. I would do anything to get information about where she was right now.

  "What if the guy is innocent?" Sune asked.

  I exhaled. "You're right. They’ve found nothing on his computer or at his house to connect him to the kidnapping. But still, maybe he's just really good at covering up. It is, however, bothering me that he’s been in police custody while all this has been going on. I hardly think he's the mastermind behind it."

  I finished my wine and asked for another glass. I needed it.

  "There is one thing I’m pretty certain of, though," I then continued. "If it isn't Mr. Meckler, then it must be someone else from the school. Whoever planned this must have access to the parents' addresses and phone numbers, plus they had to know everything about how the dismissal procedure works. The letter to Nancy had no stamp on it; it was delivered personally when they placed the kid in the car, probably early in the morning. I think they're local. My guess is it's someone we know well."

  55

  May 2018

  They came back late at night. As the hatch opened, Alicia caught a brief glimpse of the moon before the pantyhose-covered face of a man appeared once again. He climbed down the ladder as a wave of fear rushed through the girls.

  They had stopped believing that Alondra or Emmy would be coming back, and most of them inside the hot box truck feared being picked next. Alicia didn't know what to think about any of it. Like most of the girls, she feared the kidnappers were killing them off one by one, but then again, there was this small hope that maybe they weren't. It was Julie who had started it inside of her when the rest of them were freaking out. Julie had said that maybe they weren't being killed; maybe they were being sent home because their parents had paid the ransom. But did that mean that her parents hadn't paid for her yet? Why hadn't they?

  Maybe they just haven't been told how or how much yet, she thought, calming herself down. Maybe they're taking us one at a time.

  Alicia looked up at the man crawling down. Her hands were shaking lightly, but she tried to hide it by putting them behind her back. Trudy, who was sitting next to her on the dirty mattress, started to whimper and hid her face between her knees. They were all different in how they reacted, Alicia had noticed. Where some crept into the corners trying to hide, Alicia preferred to watch what was going on. She believed that it made a difference in who they ended up choosing, and maybe—just maybe—part of her wanted to be chosen this time. She almost tried to will it, to force it to happen. Because she was sick of this hot place; she was sick of feeling nauseous all the time, of fighting to not throw up because of the stench.

  The kidnapper smiled and looked straight at her, and that was when she knew. Whatever she had done, whether it was looking at him or just by her will alone, she had made him choose her. Or maybe she just knew it was her turn and, when he pointed his finger at her, Alicia had already risen to her feet.

  "You," he said. "Come with me."

  Alicia smiled, excited to go, but also nervous as she grabbed onto the ladder and was about to climb after him.

  "Alicia," a voice said behind her as several of the girls surrounded her. Alicia turned around and spotted Julie. Julie reached out her arms and pulled Alicia into a deep hug. Soon, most of the other girls followed. Even Tonya.

  "I'll get help," Alicia whispered, her voice shivering. "If I survive, I'll come for you."

  "Take care of yourself," Julie said, wiping tears from her eyes. Her lips were white and cracked.

  "You too," Alicia said.

  "Now!" the kidnapper said. "I don't have all night."

  Julie let go of Alicia, and she started to climb. She could hear the girls whimpering below her. Some were crying, others just staring at her as she disappeared up toward the hole in the ceiling from where no one had returned so far.

  The first thing Alicia did when her kidnapper closed the hatch behind her was to take in a deep breath, filling her lungs with the wondrous fresh air she had longed for for so long. She looked up at the starry sky, then began to cry at the gorgeous sight of the endless universe above her. All those stars and the gorgeous bright moon. So much space.

  Just as she was about to take it all in, a blindfold was placed over her eyes, and the stars and limitless sky were gone once again.

  56

  January 2000

  "Let me have a look at each and every one of you."

  Jane looked into her children's faces. They were inside her small condo in the living room, sitting on her old brown couches she had bought for next to nothing on Craig's list. Colleen sat in a chair in the corner, observing their every move and listening in on every word.

  "Gosh, you have all grown so much. How is that even possible in only six months?"

  She was holding baby Matthew in her arms, keeping him close to her chest, just hugging him. He had learned how to sit and was almost crawling by now, she had been told.

  "Well, he mostly pushes himself backward around the house; it's the darndest sight," Colleen had added when telling her.

  Jane cried when thinking about how much she had missed already. She tried to hold it back, so Colleen wouldn't think that she couldn't keep herself together. Jane had to seem as healthy and normal as possible, but it was tougher than she had thought it would be.

  A lot tougher.

  "Anna, baby, how are you?" she asked and tried to address her. But the girl would hardly look at her and kept turning her head away.

  "What's wrong, baby?"

  "They say it was your fault," Elisa said. "That dad hit her. You know…that day."

  "But…but who would say such a thing?" Jane asked.

  "Aunt Melissa and Uncle Jim. They say all kinds of stuff about you. Like how you can't take care of us and how you…"

  Elisa received an elbow from her twin sister, Penelope, and stopped. Then she added:

  "It's true, though."

  Jane felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. Were they turning the kids against her? Her own children?

  "But…surely none of you believe any of it…do you?" she asked. "Anna?"

  But Anna still refused to look at her.

  "They also say it's your fault that we have to live with them because you can't get your life together," Penelope said.

  Matthew started to fuss in her arms and Jane tried to calm him down, but it didn't seem to help. Colleen straightened her back and gave her a look. Jane smiled comfortingly and tickled Matthew on the tummy, trying to calm him down, while singing his favorite song. The girls sat very still, and then Anna started to cry.

  "What's wrong, baby? Oh, no, don't cry."

  Jane turned to look at Elisa and told her to take Matthew for a few seconds, then grabbed Anna in her arms and hugged her.

  "It's okay, baby. It's okay. I’ve missed you too. I’ve missed you all so much I can barely take it. I’m doing everything I can to get you back with me, do you hear me?"

  Anna calmed down and sat in Jane's lap with a sniffle, rubbing her eyes. Jane pulled her into a close embrace when the girl winced with an ouch.

  "What's wrong?'

  Anna held her side like it was hurting.

  "Have you hurt yourself?" Jane asked and pulled up Anna's shirt. A big purple bruise was revealed. Jane could hardly breathe when she saw it.

  "Who did this?" Jane asked angrily.

  None
of the children replied. "Who did this?" Jane said, raising her voice a little too much. "Who did it? Was it Aunt Melissa? Uncle Jim? Your dad? Have you been seeing your father?"

  Colleen was on her feet now, walking to her.

  "I think this is enough for today."

  "Have you seen this?" Jane asked and showed her the bruise. "Have you seen what they’ve done to my baby girl?"

  Colleen sighed. "She could have gotten that from playing in the yard or at a playground. Melissa and Jim have been very good to the children. We visit them regularly, and the children are all thriving in their home."

  "They're thriving? Thriving? That doesn’t look much like thriving to me? This is abuse, Colleen, can't you see it? You, of all people, should recognize it. I can't believe you. You place my kids in care with some people they hardly know, and now they're allowed to abuse them? I can't…I can't even begin to…How can you let this…"

  Colleen turned away from her and started to gather the children. "This is exactly the kind of hostile behavior we can't tolerate…"

  Jane grabbed her by the arm. "They are my kids. These people are hurting my children!"

  "You're making me very nervous right now," Colleen said and glanced at Jane's hand still grabbed around her arm. "I'll call the police if I have to. Don't force me to call them. You'll end up never seeing your kids again. This is not a joke, Jane."

  Jane let go with a snort. Colleen gathered the children and took Matthew in her arms.

  Seeing this, Jane realized she had messed up. She felt desperate, almost panicking at the thought of them leaving again.

  "Wait," she said. "Can I just give him a kiss before you leave? Just one little kiss? Please?"

  Colleen paused for a second, her back still turned to Jane.

  "Please? I don't know when I'll see him again. Please?" Jane folded her hands and began to cry. She couldn't say goodbye to her kids already. She couldn't bear to see them leave. How was she supposed to survive this? How was she supposed to go on when she had no idea when she would see them and hold them again? Especially Matthew, who was still so young. The longing to be close to him was agonizing. It was killing her.