by A. M. Myers
“Oh, God,” I groan, burying my face in my hands before shaking my head and leaning back into the couch. “I don’t know. It was just something Eden said when we were talking about the options for me to have a baby and then when he asked me what I wanted…”
“You had to tell him anything other than the truth?” she supplies and I nod. Sighing, she folds her hands over her notepad and pins me with a look.
“Okay, I have a couple of things.”
I nod.
“First off, I think you need to have a discussion with Eden about her over-stepping. While it’s good that you have someone who will push you out of your comfort zones and force you to grow, I’m concerned with the choices she’s making for you and the choices you’re making with her influence.”
“She means well,” I object, feeling the need to defend my friend. “She thinks there is still something between Wyatt and me…”
“She and I would agree on that point, at least from your perspective but it still doesn’t absolve her of tricking both of you into confronting each other again. Her methods are… irresponsible.”
I nod. As much as I love Eden, I am still upset over what she did. “I know.”
“And as far as having a baby with Wyatt, I hope I don’t have to tell you that it is a very bad idea. Especially considering that he still doesn’t know the truth. If the two of you reconciled and you told him everything, I would be happy to see you moving forward in your life but not like this. This isn’t a healthy way of dealing with things and I don’t want to see you slip back to where you were seven years ago.”
A shiver runs down my spine and I nod. “I don’t want that either.”
“I’m glad we’re in agreement, then,” she answers with a nod, tension seeping out of her shoulders as she leans back in her chair and looks over her notes. “Actually, before we close this topic of discussion, I would just urge you, again, to tell Wyatt the truth.”
“I can’t.”
She frowns. “Piper, if you truly want to move on with your life, whether that is with Wyatt or without him, this is an essential step. Those secrets you’re holding under lock and key, they’re keeping you prisoner and I worry that you’ll never be happy as long as you cling to them.”
“I can’t tell him,” I insist, shaking my head as I picture spilling my secrets to Wyatt in my head. God, he can never know. She sighs.
“I’ll drop this… for now.” She pins me with a look and I nod. I know we’ll be talking about this again but I just can’t ever imagine telling Wyatt the things that happened before I left him. I can’t let him see me that way. “Now, tell me, how have the nightmares been? The same or better lately?”
My head jerks up and I meet her eyes. “Better.”
“Good,” she answers with a smile, jotting down some more notes. The rest of the appointment goes by quickly as we go over the plan we have to help me deal when things get hard and she reinforces the fact that I can call her whenever I need her. She’s been having the same conversation with me once a week for seven years so I doubt I would forget it now but she always makes sure to end our sessions with those words. I suppose they do bring me a bit of comfort to know that she’s always there, standing behind me and ready to reach out if I start to fall.
My phone rings as I walk out of the office and I smile when I see Lillian’s name on the screen. “Hey, girl. What’s up?”
“Eden and I are out for drinks, come meet us!” she yells into the phone over the sound of music blaring in the background. I crinkle my nose as I step outside. Eden and I haven’t spoken since my date with Wyatt and I don’t know if I’m ready to face her yet.
“Oh, I don’t know, Lil…”
“Please, Pippy? It’s been so long since we’ve had a girls’ night,” she pleads and I blow out a breath as I stop next to my car and unlock the door before slipping behind the wheel.
“All right.” I flip down the visor and check my reflection in the mirror. Sometimes when I come out of Dr. Brewer’s office, I look like some kind of swamp thing but today, it is not so bad. “Send me the address and I’ll meet you guys over there in a few.”
“Yay!” she squeals before promising to send me the address and while I wait for her text, I pull out my compact and touch up my makeup before nodding and flipping the visor closed. As much as I’m not ready to face Eden, I suppose it is better to just get it over with. We will have it out and then we can move on because as angry as I am with her, I do know she was only trying to help in her unique Eden way.
My phone pings with a text and I plug the address into my GPS before pulling out of the parking lot and following the instructions to the little bar downtown that is a favorite of ours. After finding a place to park, I climb out of the car and step inside, weaving my way through the crowd and searching for their faces near the table we usually sit at. Eden and Lillian wave at me through the mass of bodies and I smile as I wave back at them and push through the cluster of people surrounding me.
“We got you a glass of wine,” Lillian says as I reach them, pushing the glass toward the empty seat at the table. Eden flashes me a nervous smile and I sit down, grabbing my glass and taking a sip.
“Thanks.”
“I know you’re mad,” Eden says, looking appropriately contrite and I lean back against my chair, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I am.”
“Did it not go well?”
I scoff, shaking my head. “No, it didn’t go well but even if it had, doing that to both Wyatt and me was not cool.”
“I know,” she whispers with a nod. “Wyatt messaged me, too, and chewed me out last night. I really didn’t mean any harm though. It’s just… the two of you…”
“Your heart was in the right place,” I say, reaching across the table and placing my hand on hers. “I know that but you did cross a line. The issues between Wyatt and me… they’re complicated and painful and not something that can be fixed during one lunch date.”
“Speaking of…” Lillian cuts in, leaning forward with a gleam in her eyes that makes me laugh. “How did the lunch date go?”
“Terrible.”
She rolls her eyes. “I know but I need details, woman!”
I glance over at Eden and flash her a small smile to let her know that she’s forgiven and her body deflates for a second before she sits up straighter, almost back to the Eden I’m used to as I launch into my story about my date with Wyatt. Lillian is enthralled, watching me with an arched brow as she sips her drink and Eden studies me closely.
“So, when he asked me what I wanted, I panicked and told him I wanted him to help me have a baby.”
Eden’s mouth pops open. “You did not.”
“I did,” I answer with a nod and she shakes her head as she buries her face in her hands.
“Oh my God.”
Lillian’s gaze bounces between the two of us before she turns back to me, her eyes wide and she’s practically hanging off of the edge of her seat. “Well, what did he say?”
“He told me I was insane, rightly so I might add, and stormed out.”
“And you didn’t tell him the truth about anything?” Eden asks and I shake my head. I just can’t imagine ever telling Wyatt the real reason why I walked away from him. He wouldn’t understand and he certainly wouldn’t see me the same ever again. Although, at this point, I don’t know what it matters. “Well, he sure was fired up when he messaged me last night.”
“What did he say?” I ask, my heart pounding.
Shit.
Maybe I don’t want to know what he said…
She grabs her phone off of the table and unlocks it before handing it to me and my hands tremble as I start reading through his messages from last night.
WyattL23:
I don’t know what kind of fucking game you think you’re playing but
ambushing me with my whore of an ex-wife is fucking low.
Which is a shame since you seemed like such a cool girl.
Tea
rs well up in my eyes and I flinch as I read the message again, the words “my whore of an ex-wife” echoing through my head.
EdiePB09:
I know. I’m so sorry…
I just thought it would help.
WyattL23:
Help what?
EdiePB09:
All I can say is that you don’t know everything about why
Piper left you and she still loves you.
“Eden,” I hiss, staring at her last message in horror before I look up at her and she sheepishly flashes me a smile.
“I’m sorry…”
My muscles tense as anger pulses through me and I don’t even know what to say to her right now so I glance back at the phone and continue reading.
WyattL23:
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
EdiePB09:
I can’t say anything else. I’m sorry.
If you want to know the truth, ask Piper.
I stare at the message, reading it three times as my heart pounds in my ears and anger races through my veins. My head snaps up and I lock eyes with Eden as she holds her hands up in surrender.
“I know, Pip, I know and I’m sorry. I was just still trying to help.”
“This is help?” I ask through clenched teeth, whipping the phone around to show her the same messages I just read as the reality of the situation crashes down on me.
Holy fuck.
What has she done?
Chapter Eleven
Wyatt
If you want to know the truth, ask Piper.
Eden’s words run through my mind again, just like they have on repeat for the last two days, tormenting me and making me question everything I thought I knew. And when they’re not running through my head, I’m reading those damn messages, trying to find a clue hidden in her responses to tell me what the hell to expect but there’s nothing. I’ve spent more hours than I care to admit trying to remember everything that went down ten years ago, searching for a clue there that might provide me with an insight for what Eden meant when she said I didn’t know everything but I’m officially stumped. If I want answers, I have to talk to Piper again and I just don’t know if I can. Sighing, I run my hands through my hair and resist the urge to rip it out.
Goddamn it.
What are these girls trying to do to me? Piper left because she cheated on me and fell in love with someone else. There isn’t much else to the story so I have to wonder if this is all just another game dreamt up by Eden and possibly Piper, just like the surprise reunion a couple of days ago. Shaking my head, I blow out a breath. As much as I’d like to believe the worst of Piper, I don’t think she had any clue until she showed up to the date because just like me, she looked shell-shocked and for all of her faults when we were together, I never would have accused Piper of being manipulative or someone who liked to play games. Which leaves Eden… God, this is fucking insane. I’m officially losing my mind over a single message from a woman who has already crossed a line when it comes to Piper and me. She clearly has boundary issues and likes to play games with people so why can’t I stop obsessing over her words?
What is the truth?
What is Piper hiding from me?
Why do I even fucking care?
Suppressing a groan, I scrub my hand over my jaw and stare out at the parking lot as everyone else sets up for the barbecue Blaze decided to throw tonight. Everyone is coupled up except for Streak, who is probably still locked away in his room, and me and seeing them all together, displaying their love and happiness for the world to see makes me feels like drowning myself in a vat of whiskey. My chest aches and my mind spins. I have been off balance since I saw her in that restaurant, looking better than even my best fantasy could remember, and as much as I want to drop this and move on with my life, I can’t figure out how. Goddamn it. I was so fucking close and then just one look from her and she embedded herself under my skin like a goddamn parasite. The worst part is I’m afraid there is no way to get rid of her.
“Hey,” Streak says, slipping into the seat next to me as he holds out a cold bottle of beer and I grab it, nodding in return before turning to stare out at all of the couples milling around as they set everything up. “Makes you sick, doesn’t it?”
I glance over at him before shaking my head. The last thing I need is my brothers knowing just how tormented I am by all of their happiness. Not to mention, it’s not fair to them. “Whatever. They seem happy.”
“Sure, I guess,” he scoffs before taking a sip of his own beer. “But you won’t ever see me looking like these assholes.”
“Famous last words, Streaky boy,” I tease and he shakes his head, making a face as he leans back in his chair.
“Hell, naw, not gonna happen.”
Turning, I study him for a second before taking a sip of my beer as I fight back a smile. “Gotta be honest, I never really saw you as the type to go for dudes but if that’s what you’re into, man…”
“Fuck you, douchebag. I don’t swear off women in general, I just swear off relationships. They don’t vibe with my lifestyle.”
“What the hell does that mean?” I ask with a laugh and he sighs.
“It’s like this, I’m up all hours of the night in front of three computer screens digging up shit for y’all and I rarely even leave this goddamn clubhouse all of which isn’t conducive to developing or maintaining a relationship. Believe me when I say, everyone is better off if I don’t ever fall in love.”
I shrug as I turn back to the rest of the group and take a sip of my beer. “Maybe you just haven’t met the right one.”
“You’re one to talk,” he fires back and Piper’s face pops into my mind again, her smile blinding me as the ache in my chest grows. I shake my head and blow out a breath as I try to shove her from my thoughts. As much as I need answers, I can’t obsess over her anymore tonight.
“By the way, have you come up with anything on Mitch?” I ask in an effort to distract myself and he groans, slamming his forehead against his open palm.
“No. Dude is a goddamn ghost.” He glances up at me. “I’m honestly impressed with how low of a profile he has online and if I had to guess, I would say he’s into some heavily illegal shit.”
“Hmph.”
Well, shit.
There goes that idea.
“Rodriguez did bring him in for questioning once, though. Right after Dina died.”
I nod. “But he didn’t find anything?”
“Don’t know,” he answers with a shrug. “You’ll have to go talk to Diego. I promised not to hack into his files anymore.”
“That something you did often?” I ask, glancing over at him with a smirk and he shrugs again. That’s about as much of an answer as I’m going to get out of him. Streak got his road name for being the luckiest son of a bitch any of us had ever met but he is also really fucking smart and careful. He won’t ever say anything that would incriminate himself or that someone could use against him and his main goal is to be the smartest guy in the room and to be holding all the cards. I suppose that is also another point against him in a relationship, though.
“Ugh, just look at them,” he grumbles as I turn as Storm pulls his old lady, Ali, into his arms and kisses her before taking their baby girl, Magnolia, from her. My chest burns and I shake my head as I look away.
Fuck.
Streak is right.
Being around these guys and their never-ending happiness is fucking torture even on the best days but when all I can think about is this big secret that Piper has been keeping from me for God only knows how long, it’s unbearable. Someone turns some music on and “I Knew I Loved You” by Savage Garden starts playing.
“Aw, fuck,” Streak growls as Moose pulls Juliette out of her chair and into his arms. She laughs as they begin swaying back and forth and it feels like someone dropped a boulder in my stomach. “What is it with those two and that damn song?”
I shrug, remembering the winter formal I took Piper to our freshm
an year of high school where we danced to this song and my arms ache with the memory of holding her.
“You know, it’s not even a good song. At least pick a decent fucking song, right?” Streak continues and I just nod, my mind consumed with the memory of Piper in her black dress and her red curls falling down her back. Closing my eyes, I remember the way she leaned into me and the smile she flashed me all night long, like she was keeping a secret except that time, we were both in on it. I can still remember the way she looked up at me as we swayed together under twinkle lights and multi-colored streamers like we were the only people there. Her honeysuckle perfume fills my nose almost like I’m right back there with her in that gym and my heart thuds in my chest.
“Savage fucking Garden,” Streak hisses and I open my eyes, glancing over at him. He shakes his head, disgust rolling off of him as he finishes off his beer before standing up and turning back to me, pointing to my bottle. “You want another one?”
I shake my head. “Naw, I’m good.”
He heads back into the clubhouse and I lean back in my chair as I stare out at the rest of the club and their old ladies. A few of the girls have talked their men into dancing with them as well while Blaze fires up the grill and that damn ache in my chest only gets stronger. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I open the dating app that I haven’t gotten around to deleting yet and scroll through some of the girls on the site but no one snags my interest when all I can see is Piper.
Fuck.
She ruined me.
She ruined us.
Shaking my head, I cross my arms over my chest and do my best to steel myself against thoughts of her but it only works for a second before another memory slips through the cracks. I squeeze my eyes closed and suck in a breath as pain fills my chest and images flash through my head. Since she and I just went down to the courthouse to get married, we didn’t plan a reception or anything but my parents surprised us with a little get-together in their backyard with my family and some of our closest friends. It was a lot like the parties Blaze is so fond of throwing with good barbecue, good music, family, and lots of laughs. Before she left me, I considered that night one of the best of my life.