Into the Blue

by Robin Huber

  “What’s the matter?”

  I shake my head, but don’t know how to explain how odd it is to be holding a piece of the real world—my old world—in my hands again. It’s so incredibly comforting, but also terrifying, knowing that I’ll have to face that world again soon.

  “I know you like to sleep in it, so...”

  I nod and give her a small smile.

  “And I thought it might be nice to have a little piece of your mom here.” She smiles softly. “I remember how much she loved Queen.”

  I laugh softly and change into it. “Well, they are one of the greatest rock bands of all time.” I pull it down over my stomach and look at the worn graphic on the front. “She got this at a concert when she was a teenager. It’s so old. But I love it. Thanks for grabbing it.”

  “You kind of look like yourself now,” she says, narrowing her eyes. “Except, you look tired, Kay.”

  “I know. Surprising, considering all I’ve done is sleep the last few days.”

  She gives me a knowing look. “So you and Kellan are together?”

  “Yes.” I smile softly. “I wanted to tell you about him, Callie, so many times.”

  She takes my hand and pulls me down on the bed beside her. “Well, tell me now,” she says excitedly.

  I let out a long contented sigh and smile. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

  “How about with the fact that he’s gorgeous, for starters. And those eyes. I knew he was cute from the pictures Derek showed me, but still life doesn’t compare to the real thing. If I had known how tall, dark, and handsome he was, I would have tried to set you two up years ago.”

  I laugh. “He was in Afghanistan, remember?”

  She nods and gives me a sincere look. “Do you love him?”

  I lie back on the bed and bob my head. “Yes. He’s...special, Callie.”

  “As in, he’s the one?”

  I look at her and nod. “Yes. I think so.”

  Her eyes well up.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just can’t believe that something good actually came out of all this. I’m happy.” She reaches for me. “I’m happy for you, Kay.”

  “I’m happy too. Which sounds ridiculous”—I close my eyes—“considering everything that happened. To me. To Jessica.” I look up at her and ask, “Am I a bad person?”

  “No.” She shakes her head. “You’re not a bad person. If it weren’t for finding some kind of happiness, who knows what sort of state you’d be in. Jessica wouldn’t want that any more than me. She would want you to be happy.”

  I nod and smile softly. “I missed you, Cal.”

  “I missed you too.”

  “I wish I could have shared it all with you...all the good parts anyway.”

  “Like all your firsts with Kellan.”

  I laugh softly. “Yes.”

  She widens her eyes and suggests, “Like the first time you kissed?”

  “Yes, of course.” I smile.

  “And the first time you made love,” she says wistfully.

  “You really are a hopeless romantic.” I laugh, but she just looks at me expectantly. “Yes, of course I wanted to tell you about it. It was amazing.”

  “Well, go on then.”

  “You want details?”

  “Yes,” she says excitedly, “I do.”

  “Okay.” I laugh and lie back on the bed, and recount all the details of my and Kellan’s relationship to date.

  She lies beside me and says, “Wow. Amazing sex with a beautiful man who naturally falls in love with you. I can’t say I saw it coming, but I’m so glad it did.” She looks at me and smiles. “So what’s wrong with him?”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Wrong with him?”

  “Yeah, he’s too perfect. He must have some flaws.”

  “He has some demons.”

  “What kind of demons?”

  I look up at the ceiling and sigh. The tugging in my chest is back, but it yanks a little harder now that I know how deep his childhood scars run.

  “He was given up for adoption.”

  “Oh. Well, so was I and I turned out okay.” She smirks.

  “He spent his entire childhood in foster care.”

  “No one ever adopted him?”

  I shake my head. “His mom tried to get him back when he was ten, but it was bad. She was abusive.”

  Callie’s face fills with concern.

  “He went back into the system after that, where he stayed until he was eighteen, so he’s never really had a family. Not like yours or mine.” I keep talking over the tight feeling in my chest. “I can’t imagine what it was like for him growing up.”

  “Me neither.”

  “He has issues, especially about being a dad...I guess because he never had one. I think the idea of having kids one day scares him.”

  “Him and every other red-blooded man.” She laughs quietly.

  I smile softly and explain, “He says he doesn’t know how.” I shrug. “I think he’s afraid they’ll end up damaged.”

  The corners of her mouth turn up gently. “Well, if he already cares about the hypothetical well-being of your hypothetical children, he’ll probably make a pretty good dad.”

  I laugh softly and agree, “I think so too.”

  “Maybe he just needs you to help him see that,” she suggests.

  “I hope I can. Because I don’t think I could live without him now. I could barely breathe when he was gone,” I say unguardedly. “He’s like my air.”

  She huffs a short breath and tears well in her eyes. “Who’s the hopeless romantic now?”

  “Callie. Why are you crying?”

  “Because, I’m just so happy for you.” She smiles and wipes her eyes. “And I’m also pregnant.”

  “You’re what?” My eyes widen to the size of saucers.

  “I was waiting for the right time to tell you. I’m pregnant.”

  I gasp and smile wide. “Callie! Oh my God!” I pull her into a hug.

  “And now you’re going to get married and have babies too!” she squeals.

  I push her shoulders back. “Slow down, killer. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I think it will be a while before all that. But, oh my gosh, I’m so happy for you!” I hug her again. “How far along are you? When did you find out?”

  “Just a few weeks ago. I’m not very far along. But I couldn’t wait to tell you any longer.”

  Derek knocks on the door and walks in. “Hey, everyone’s eating. Are you two done catching up yet?”

  I can’t hide the goofy smile that’s plastered across my face. “Derek!” I jump up and hug him tightly. “I’m so happy for you guys.”

  “I take it my wife spilled the beans.”

  “Well, duh. I’m her best friend.”

  “More reason than ever to keep her tucked away, safe and sound. Although, this storm wasn’t part of the plan.”

  I force a smile, but anxiety pricks all over me when I think of why they’re here in the first place. If I had just stayed at my desk that day and not gone up to Marc’s office, none of this would have happened. Jessica would still be here. And Callie would be sitting at home right now—safely—doing whatever you do to get ready for a baby.

  This is all my fault.

  But if I hadn’t gone up to Marc’s office that day, none of this would have happened. Kellan wouldn’t have found me and I would be at home right now doing whatever I did before I knew him. I can’t even remember what that was anymore.

  “Come on,” Derek says, pulling Callie off the bed. “You need to eat.”

  I smile and follow them out of the room.

  Mia looks up at us when we walk into the kitchen. “Hey. Grab a plate.”

  Kellan is leaning against the counter, eating the last bite of a tamale, watching me. Callie steps beside him and gives him a one-handed hug around his waist. He looks down at her curiously, but she doesn’t say anything. She just smiles up at him and then makes her way to the food. T
he small interaction warms me inside—seeing her affection toward him, not because she knows him all that well, but because she knows I love him.

  I walk over to Kellan and wrap my arms around his waist.

  “Queen?”

  “It was my mom’s. Callie brought some of my stuff. She knows I like to sleep in it.”

  He smiles and places a soft kiss on my forehead. “Will you please eat something now?”

  “Yes”—I smile up at him—“I’m starving.”

  “Good, here you go,” Mia says, handing me a large bowl of rice and beans topped with two tamales.

  I can’t eat all that. I laugh quietly and sit down, and begin filling my empty stomach with Antonella’s delicious food. I take an eager bite, and then another, pausing only because I’m thirsty. “I need something to drink,” I say, getting up from the table, but Kellan stops me.

  “I’ll get it. Eat,” he encourages.

  “Thank you.” I keep eating until the bowl is completely empty. I guess I really was hungry, I think, surprised that I ate so much.

  I feel better instantly and wonder if my appearance has also improved. I smile at Kellan and take my bowl to the sink to wash it, then I grab the rest of the empty plates from the table and wash them too.

  The winds are constant now, making an eerie whistling sound around the house. Something smacks the board covering the kitchen window as I’m scrubbing and it makes me jump. “Shit”—I place my sudsy hand over my heart—“that scared me.”

  “It’s getting worse out there,” Dr. H says. “Why don’t we all settle in for the night?”

  “Do you think they’ll be okay in the village?” I ask worriedly.

  “Don’t worry, Makayla. This isn’t their first hurricane. They’re tucked away where they’ll be safe. And their homes are all made of cinderblocks like this one. They’ll be okay.”

  I bob my head and accept his answer.

  Mia collects the candles from the cabinet, passing them out in case we lose the generator, and everyone heads to their rooms. Except for Adam, who follows Mia to her room.

  Kellan shuts his door behind us and we climb into his bed, closing the mosquito net around us. I crawl under the sheet and curl up against him. He wraps his arms around me and I nuzzle his neck, breathing him in and savoring his scent and the feeling of him wrapped around me in the dark.

  Something hits the board outside the window and I sit up nervously.

  Kellan strokes my back. “That’s why the boards are there. Don’t worry.” He pulls me down into his arms again.

  “It would really suck if you weren’t here right now.”

  He blows out a slow breath and pulls me closer. “I’d be a wreck.”

  “I’m really glad you came back.” I tip my chin up and kiss his scruffy jaw.

  He kisses my forehead. “I’m just glad we made it before the storm hit.”

  I nod against his chest. “I’m worried about Callie. I’m surprised Derek would bring her here with the storm coming. They could have stayed in a hotel on the mainland.”

  “Not if they wanted to stay with me.” He tightens his arms around me, squeezing me to him. “Why are you so worried about Callie?”

  “She’s pregnant.”

  He’s quiet for a second. “No wonder Derek wanted to get her away from Marc.”

  “She needs stability right now. She shouldn’t be caught in the middle of this storm.”

  “It will pass in a few hours. She’ll be okay.”

  “I’m talking about the storm that I created. If it weren’t for me, she’d be at home right now, soaking in her giant claw-foot tub.”

  “None of this is your fault, Makayla. Marc Spencer is the only one to blame for what happened.”

  “I still feel responsible.”

  “Makayla, you were innocent. You are innocent.”

  “So is a butterfly.”

  “What?”

  “A distant butterfly flaps its wings and alters the weather conditions to create a storm. It wasn’t my intention, but I caused it, none the less.”

  “The butterfly effect.” He pulls me close and smiles against my forehead. “The butterfly doesn’t create the storm, it just changes the trajectory. You couldn’t have stopped it. If anything, you created the conditions that brought me to you.”

  I close my eyes and breathe him in, yawning as I exhale. “I like that theory.”

  He kisses the top of my head. “Go to sleep, butterfly.”

  Chapter 17

  Makayla

  “Makayla,” Kellan whispers against my ear. “Makayla,” he says again, kissing my jaw and the corner of my mouth. My eyes open to his, the brightest blue staring down at me. “The storm passed.”

  “Mmm...” I stretch my arms over my head. “I slept so well, I almost forgot about it.” I glance up at the ceiling. “The roof is still on. Mia should be happy about that.”

  He drops his mouth to my neck and kisses my jaw again. “I’d like nothing more than to stay in bed with you all day, but we should probably go check on everyone.”

  I snake my arms around his neck. “What time is it?” Surely we have a little time before everyone gets up.

  “Ten-thirty.”

  I stick my bottom lip out.

  “I wanted to wake you, but you looked so peaceful.”

  “Were you watching me sleep?”

  “Only for the last two hours.”

  “Two hours?”

  “You’re really beautiful when you sleep.”

  “Two hours is borderline creepy.”

  “I have a lot on my mind. You’re a good muse. You help me think.”

  “About what?”

  “Us.” He smiles and kisses me softly. “Come on, sleepy head. Let’s get up.”

  I reluctantly get up and follow him to the kitchen, where we find Mia and Adam standing over a pot of coffee.

  “Morning,” Mia sings.

  “Morning,” I say, cutting my curious eyes at her.

  “How’d you guys sleep?” Adam asks, yawning.

  “I slept like a rock,” I answer. “I barely noticed the storm.”

  “I listened to the whole damn thing. It didn’t let up until dawn.”

  I look at Kellan, wondering if he listened to it all night too, but he smiles and shakes his head. “Slept like a rock.” He wraps his arms around me and kisses me softly.

  Callie walks in, looking green.

  “You okay?” I ask her.

  She nods and fakes a smile, but I can tell she feels like crap.

  “Where are Jason and Dr. H? They’re usually the first ones up in the morning.”

  “They left a couple of hours ago to go check on the village,” Mia says, just as they walk back through the door.

  “How’d they do?” we all ask over each other.

  “Everyone’s fine,” Dr. H assures us. “Just some downed tree limbs and scattered palm fronds.”

  “And Nina?” Kellan asks. “Was she scared?”

  “She was more worried for all of you than for herself,” he says, and Kellan smiles.

  “She’d probably love to see you,” I say to him.

  “We can see them tonight if you’d like. They’ve asked us to come celebrate the storm with them.”

  “Are we celebrating that we survived?” I tease.

  “That’s part of it,” Dr. H laughs. “It’s tradition to celebrate after a big storm, because the rising waters bring in so much food from the sea. They see it as a gift. So the night after a storm passes, they gather together and wade into the shallows with torches to collect the lobsters and crabs that draw to the light.”

  “Really?”

  “It’s called fire fishing,” Jason says, and I see a glint of excitement in his eyes.

  “Well, I don’t have much experience catching lobsters, but it sounds fun,” I say, smiling up at Kellan.

  “We’re in,” Mia says, tugging on Adam’s shirt.

  Callie looks impassive, but Derek’s eyes are li
t up like Jason’s. “We’re definitely in.”

  “Come on,” Kellan says, grabbing Adam’s shoulder, “let’s start taking the boards down.”

  * * *

  “Welcome, mis amigos!” Gus greets us. “Are you ready to get your feet wet?”

  We all laugh. “Yes.”

  “Kellan!” Nina runs up to him and hugs him tightly. Then she furrows her brow and slaps his stomach. “No me dijiste adiós antes de irte!” she yells at him.

  “Nina!” Gus scolds her.

  “No, Gus. She’s right. It was wrong of me to leave without saying goodbye.” He kneels down and says to her, “Lo siento, Nina. Por favor perdoname?”

  She nods. “Si.”

  Gus smiles and says, “Let’s eat. And then, we will hunt the waters with fire!” His eyes are wide and animated.

  We follow him to a long leaf-covered table that everyone has gathered around. Once again, the spread is amazing and we eat until our stomachs are full. Callie can’t stop talking about the food and how delicious it is, Derek can’t stop talking about the work that Dr. H has done, Mia can’t stop making googly-eyes at Adam, and Adam can’t stop ribbing Kellan. Meanwhile, Jason is busy planning his next expedition with Dr. H.

  I’ll miss this.

  One of the men from the village is sitting by the fire, strumming his guitar and singing a slow melody in his language.

  “Come dance with me,” Kellan says, taking my hand.

  I smile and follow him. He presses his hand to the small of my back and pulls me close. He winds his other hand around mine, tucking it between us as he slowly sways me back and forth to the music. I lay my head on his shoulder and he gradually moves me in circles, lulling me. It’s a quiet night and the indigo sky is streaked with bands of twinkling stars. I inhale the warm ocean air, breathing in the floral, earthy scent of the island and the burning smell of the fire.

  “I don’t want to go back.”

  Kellan lifts his head and looks into my eyes. His skin is glowing in the light of the fire and shadows flicker against his handsome features. His sapphire eyes are twinkling down at me with curiosity.

  “I’m not ready to wake up from the dream. I’m not ready to go back to New York.” I rest my chin on his chest. “I wish we could go somewhere else.”

  “Like where?”