When the Sun Goes Down

by Erin Noelle

  “Hey there, beautiful girl. How’s your day been?”

  “Even better now that you’re here,” I reply as a smack him lightly on the butt. “So, what’s the plan?”

  “I thought we could pick up some sandwiches, chips, and maybe even a little pasta salad from the deli up the street, and then take it to the park to enjoy some of this nice, warm, and sunny weather.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  Walking hand-in-hand, we make our way to get the food and then settle in an open, grassy area in the park. After the harsh winter we had, the high temperatures and bright, blue sky are very much appreciated in these early days of summer. I’m sure by mid-August I’ll be begging for sweater-weather days, but for now, I stretch out on the ground and bask in the rays.

  “Now this is more what I’m used to,” Lucca says.

  I turn to look in his face and he’s beaming up at the sky. “What do you mean? The weather, or having picnics?”

  “The weather,” he answers. “For a boy who grew up in Florida and went to school in Texas, throwing me into the northeast in the middle of winter wasn’t the easiest of adjustments. Other than going on skiing trips, I’d never seen snow before I got here, at least not the kind that sticks to the ground.”

  “Well, get ready, ‘cause it’s going to get hot here. You’ll have more heat than you can take before too long,” I warn him.

  “Not possible. I wish I could live somewhere where it’s in the eighties and nineties year-round. I don’t mind a little rain now and then, but I prefer days I can spend my non-working time outdoors.”

  “Then why did you choose New York for your Teach for America placement?” I ask curiously.

  He shrugs and picks a blade of grass from the soil. “I don’t know. I wanted to get out of Texas and leave all of the bad memories there, but I didn’t want to go back home and live with or near my parents. So when I came to visit Stephen last summer, he suggested I try the city out for a change of pace. I thought it was a good opportunity — I’d have a couple of roommates I already knew; plus, I think most people wonder what it’d be like to live here at least some point in their life. Of course, it was hot here then, and I didn’t think too much into the cold, wet future.”

  “So you’ve been miserable since you’ve been here?” I try not to express the hurt feelings in my tone, but I obviously fail.

  Scooting closer to me, he chuckles and twirls a strand of my ponytail around his finger. “Don’t put words in my mouth, devil woman. I’ve been far from miserable, and I’m pretty sure you know that.” He leans in and leaves a trail of gentle kisses from the base of my neck up to my ear. “I’d live through a thousand blizzards if it meant I got to be with you,” he whispers.

  His breath against my sensitive skin wakes up the baby dragons in my belly, and they begin to flutter about. “Do you plan on staying here when your two year contract is up?” I question him.

  “Honestly, I’d prefer to live somewhere with a few more warm days and fewer people, but if you tell me you’re never leaving here, I’ll stay to be with you. I’m not disappearing on you either, Katrina.”

  “I’d be willing to relocate,” I reply softly. Once everything’s said and done, it’ll probably be best for me to restart my life somewhere that no one knows who I am and I’m not reminded of my father’s fucked up legacy. “I’ve been here my whole life; it’d be nice to start over fresh in a new place.”

  “Start over after what?” He pulls back a bit and looks at me inquisitively.

  Careful to word my answer without lying, but not clue him in on my other plans, I give him a small smile. “You know, now that I’m ready to move on and let the past nine years go. I want to focus on opening the music school, and then one day, I’d like to start a family of my own.”

  Apparently pleased with my answer, he pulls me into his lap, my back pressed against his chest with his arms lazily looped around my waist, and nuzzles into my neck again. “I think that’s a great idea. Where would you like to live?”

  “I’m not sure since I haven’t given it much thought, but I could do something down south. Ideally, where do you see yourself in ten years, Lucca?”

  “Married with a few little rug-rats running around, living somewhere near the water, coaching baseball, maybe a dog or two in the backyard,” he replies. “What about you?”

  “Married with a few little rug-rats running around, living near the water, teaching music, maybe a dog or two in the backyard,” I answer cheekily.

  He tightens his arms around my mid-section and playfully bites my shoulder. “Would you like to meet my parents?”

  Shocked at the question, I twist around in his arms to face him. “Say what?”

  “I asked if you’d like to meet my parents. They’ve invited us to come and stay with them for the week of Fourth of July,” he answers with a sneaky look on his face.

  “Us? They know about me?” I balk.

  “Of course they know about you, You’re the girl I’m in love with. Was I not supposed to tell them?”

  I shake my head, feeling all giddy inside. “No, that’s fine. I just didn’t know that you had. Did you tell them…?” Suddenly, the dread sets in with the realization that he’ll obviously have to tell his parents about my past.

  Cupping my face, he kisses the tip of my nose. “Stop worrying. I haven’t told them anything about any of that, and they haven’t asked. That’s your story to tell whenever and however you want to. My parents are good people; I think you’ll like them quite a bit, but I should warn you — they’re quite excited about meeting you.”

  “Why haven’t you told me this?” I push the uneasy feeling down and allow the enthusiasm about the possible trip to take over.

  “I didn’t want to freak you out and make you run the other way. Plus, I hadn’t told you everything about Lindsay and the baby yet, and I wanted everything out in the open between us before we took our relationship to the next level.” A little more than a twinge of guilt plays at the back of my mind. I truly want all of these things with Lucca, but as long as Robert Green is on this earth, I’m not sure I can fully give him all of me. Once he’s dead, no matter how stealthily I pull it off, Lucca and Leo will both know I’m the one who did it. I pray that they’ll be able to understand and forgive me.

  “I’d love to go with you! I’ve never been to Florida before,” I exclaim excitedly. “I’m nervous they won’t like me, but I guess we might as well find out now.

  He pushes me back until I fall in the grass, giggling as he hovers over me and peppers kisses all over my face. “I’ll book our flights tonight. You’re going to love Sunny Isles, and they’re gonna love you.”

  Not long after we finish our talk, we walk back to my apartment where we spend the remainder of the afternoon and evening lying around, watching movies, and him telling me more about where he grew up. We reserve our flights online; we’re scheduled to leave on July second and to return on July ninth. I’m excited about our first trip together and about meeting his family and friends; I’ve never done anything like this before. As we fall asleep together, I hope and wonder if — someday — we’ll have the life we talked about today in the park. It’s slowly becoming the dream I’m working towards, but I’m afraid he’ll view me differently once he knows I’m a murderer.

  Tonight, I’m having Lauren over to my place for dinner. I haven’t seen her since I resigned from my position three months ago, and I’m finally ready to come clean to her about my past and let her know who I am. I’ve thought long and hard about doing this, but Dr. Donias believes that it’ll help me let go of some of the guilt I’ve been harboring over our relationship, and my lack of honesty with one of the dew people who made an effort to be my friend. After this evening, Trina will be no more. From this point on, everyone that I care about in my life will know me as Katrina; however, I will never use his last name. I legally had my name changed to my mom’s maiden name as soon as I became an adult; I never want to be associated with him aga
in.

  Lauren arrives right on time, and as soon as I open the door she begins to scream and hug me as she jumps around the foyer. Laughing at her usual over-the-top dramatics, I hug her back and welcome her.

  “I’m so glad you’re here! Please, come in,” I say, closing the door behind her.

  “Oh my God, Trina! Look at you… look at this place! Holy cow, I thought I’d never see you again!”

  She follows me into the kitchen, where I have some tequila lime chicken breasts baking in the oven and some long grain rice simmering on the stove. “Can I get you something to drink? Wine, beer, or liquor? I’ve got it all.”

  “I’ll have some white wine, please,” she says and takes a seat at the bar, continuing to look around the apartment.

  I grab a bottle out of the fridge, pour us each a glass, and hand her one. “Feel free to take a look around, if you’d like. It’s not all that big.”

  “Not all that big? Are you fucking kidding me? This is like twice the size of my place — and I have a roommate! It’s really beautiful, Trina.”

  Taking in a deep breath, I pray this goes over well. “Actually, Lauren, my name is Katrina, not Trina.”

  Her brow furrows in confusion, but before she can even ask, I take a deep breath and begin to tell her the story. Beginning with growing up a spoiled, rich brat in Jersey, to my dad murdering my mom, then my wild and rebellious teenaged and college years, and ending with my lifestyle (both day and night) over the past two years; I tell her almost everything. I explain why I was so leery of making friends and going out with her, and then of course, I fill her in on the entire Lucca story. I don’t tell her about my involvement with either of the sex photo scandals, but she’s smart enough to probably figure it out. After I’m finished, I lean back on the counter and take a long drink of wine, waiting for her to reply.

  “So you and Lucca are still together? That’s awesome! I’m so happy for you both!”

  “Out of everything I just told you, that’s your only comment?” I ask, laughing softly.

  Waving her hand in front of her face, she says, “Pssh! I don’t care about that other shit. I mean, I’m very sorry that you lost your mom, that’s terrible, but like you said, you’re moving on with your life now. I don’t care who you’re related to or what you’ve done. Katrina, you’re my friend and I want you to be happy.”

  “Well, I really appreciate that. You’re one of the very few that I have, and I’ve missed you dearly.” I walk over and loop my arm around her shoulders, squeezing her to me. “I finally remember what happy feels like.”

  Dinner is ready shortly after that, so we sit and talk over the good food and a couple bottles of wine. She brings me up-to-date with her dating life and everything that’s going on with the gossip circle at the school. Also, she heard about Lucca roughing up Principal Matthews before summer let out, but claims no one knew what had happened. Happy she brought up that subject, it allows me to transition nicely into the next subject.

  “About Principal Matthews, Lauren,” I say softly, “there’s some things you need to know about him, and unfortunately, they’re not all that great. The issue between Lucca and him was because we found out my father was basically paying him to spy on me. When I found this out, I hired someone to do surveillance on Principal Matthews, and I discovered that his extra-curricular activities would be frowned upon in the teaching community.”

  “I’m not surprised,” she responds as she finishes her glass of wine. “He’s hit on me more than a couple of times, like I’m gonna change my answer from no. He’s a sleaze-ball through and through.”

  Standing up from the table, I walk over to one of the kitchen drawers and pull out the large manila envelope Travis had dropped off a couple of days ago. I sit back down and slide it over to her. “You can open it now if you’d like, or you can wait until you’re ready to use it. The photos inside show him engaging in sex acts with females and males that appear to be minors. I’m not sure of the kids’ ages, but I’d guess they’re around sixteen. Even if they are eighteen and legal, they aren’t his wife. I hope you choose to take these to the school board saying they were anonymously delivered to you and ruin his life, but they’re in your hands now.”

  “Wow… okay. I wish I could say I’m shocked, but I’m not.” Grabbing the envelope, she sticks it inside her purse. “Don’t you worry; I’ll make sure he gets what’s coming to him.”

  I smile widely at her and get up to pour us one more glass. We continue to talk about other things for another hour or so, but as it grows late, she gets ready to leave. We say our goodbyes and promise to get together again soon, right after I get back from my trip. Once she’s gone, I tidy up the kitchen a bit and then tipsily stumble to my room where I fall straight into bed. Only three more days until I’ll be soaking up the Florida sun…

  “I’m going to meet his parents tomorrow, Leo,” I say excitedly in between bites of steak. “I still can’t believe I’m doing this!”

  “I’m really happy for you, Katrina. You deserve a little vacation; you haven’t been on one in years. Plus, I really like Lucca — he’s a good guy and I know that he truly loves you.” He smiles warmly at me. “I’ve got all of your flight information, plus the phone numbers to his parents’ house in case I can’t get a hold of you.”

  Beaming back at him, I’m reminded of how blessed I am to have Leo in my life. It’s the night before we’re both leaving to go out of town and we’re having dinner at Peter Luger’s in Brooklyn — my absolute favorite restaurant in all of New York. This will be the first time since the last trip I took with Momma that I’ve been away from Leo for more than a couple of days.

  “Tell me again where you and Mama Rosa are going.”

  “We’re flying into Palermo and then driving to San Vito lo Capo. I’ve got us booked at one of the hotels directly on the beach for twelve days,” he replies, obviously proud of himself. “From there, I’ve got several day trips around the country planned, but most of the time, I want her to relax and enjoy herself.”

  “And she knows she’s going to Italy, but none of the details, right?”

  Nodding, he finishes chewing the bite he just put in his mouth, and then wipes his face with a napkin. “Yeah, I wish I didn’t even have to tell her that much, but I needed to get her traveling paperwork in order, and to make arrangements for the house while we’ll be gone. Her sister and my cousins are meeting us there too, and I know she’s going to be shocked to see them.”

  “That’s so awesome. You’re such a good son; I know she appreciates your thoughtfulness. And not to mention, you deserve some time off too. I know I’ve been a pain in your ass for quite some time,” I say sincerely.

  “Stop it. You know you’re my family. I’d do anything to keep you safe and out of trouble- anything at all…” His voice trails off and he looks down at his plate, lost in thought.

  We finish our meal shortly after, and he still hasn’t said anything else. “Earth to Leo — are you still with me?” I ask concerned.

  He looks up at me and gives me a forced smile. “Always. I’m always with you, Katie-bug.”

  Crinkling my nose at him, I make a funny face. “You’re acting weird. Is everything okay?” He’s actually been acting strange for the past couple of weeks, but the only other time I asked, he assured me everything was fine.

  “I’m sorry; I’ve just a lot on my mind with the trip tomorrow and all. It’s like I’m mentally running through check lists, making sure I’ve got everything ready to go.”

  “No biggie, I completely understand. I’ve been doing the same thing for a couple of days now. I’m so nervous about what his parents are going to think about me. I’m making sure I pack the right clothes and all that kinda stuff — first impressions are vital.”

  “They’d be foolish not to love you. All you need to worry about is being yourself.”

  This time his smile is genuine, and I reach across the table to give his hand a quick squeeze. “Thank you.”

/>   After paying our bill, we drive home in comfortable silence. As he pulls up to the front door of my building, he surprises me and jumps out of the car. Instead of letting the doorman open my door, he jogs around the front of the car and lets me out. Scooping me up in a giant bear hug, he whispers in my ear, “Be smart and be safe, Katrina. I know it’s going to work out perfectly for you. I love you always.”

  “I love you too, Leo,” I choke, holding back tears. I’m not sure why we’re both getting so emotional, but it feels more profound than a goodbye for a couple of weeks apart.

  He releases me and returns to the car, never looking back.

  And then he disappears.

  Waking well before my alarm sounds, I’m up, dressed, and bouncing around my apartment when Lucca arrives a little after nine. My bags have been packed for several days; all I have to do is throw my toiletries and flat iron inside once I finish using them this morning. I’m pretty sure I’ve over-packed, but we’re going to be there for a full week, and I’ve got no clue what we’ll be doing.

  I smother him in kisses as he comes through the front door, unable to contain my jubilee. Laughing, he picks me up and twirls me around.

  “Good morning, love. I’m glad to see you’re in a good mood,” he says, lowering me back down until my feet hit the ground.

  Embarrassed that perhaps I’m a little too excited, I chew on my lip nervously. “Yeah, sorry. I’ll tone it down a bit before we get there — I promise.”

  “You better not,” he warns me with a swat across my butt cheeks. “Just wait until you see my mom; she’s gonna be the same way. She’s been straight driving me crazy this last week. I think she’s afraid we aren’t going to come or something.”

  His words make me feel better, even if he’s just saying them for my benefit. “Good! Are you all ready? Where are your bags?”

  “I’m not bringing anything; everything I need is already there — clothes, shoes, bathroom stuff. And I assumed that you’d have enough for both of us.” Looking around the room, he eyes my pile of luggage and starts to laugh. “You do know we’re just going for a week, right? Not a year.”