Invisible Future

by Lindsey Anderle

  “Okay. What else?”

  I shrugged, trying to think. “Hearing voices? Having crazy dreams?”

  Whitney was nodding as she wrote that down.

  “I don’t think this is really anything, but…” I trailed off.

  “Hey, anything could help,” Whitney reassured me.

  “I can’t ever get my mom on the phone,” I said. “I honestly can’t remember the last time we spoke.”

  Whitney added it to the list. “Who knows, it could be important.”

  “I can’t think of anything else. And I’m really tired.” I rubbed my eyes, feeling exhaustion steal over me.

  “Sure, let’s call it a night.” Whitney got up to start cleaning.

  Lane stood up and helped me out of my chair. He pulled me in for a hug. “I guess I’ll get going.”

  “Thanks for everything today, Lane. I’m glad I didn’t scare you off. I know this is all really crazy.”

  “Hey, I meant what I said. I want to be here for you and help you.”

  I smiled into his shirt. “I love hearing that.”

  “I love saying it.” He pressed a kiss onto my head. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

  “Okay.” I walked with him to the door. “See you later.”

  I leaned my head on the door after it closed behind him. “I am so over today,” I mumbled to myself.

  I went to my room, managing to get some pajamas on before I crashed onto my bed, falling asleep just as quickly.

  Chapter Five

  I woke up the next morning feeling more refreshed than I had in a while. There was a new energy coursing through me. It made me feel buoyant and hopeful.

  I lied in bed with my eyes closed, smiling to myself. The sun peeking into my window warmed my face. Today will be a good day, I told myself. I could use a little pat on the back to encourage me to keep going.

  These last few days had scared the hell out of me. I could feel myself spiraling out of control. Thankfully, I had two amazing lifelines that always made sure to keep me grounded. Minus a few bumps, Whitney had been by my side since the day I had met her.

  It was during my Junior year of college and my roommate, Kristi, had just informed me she was moving in with her boyfriend.

  “What?” I shrieked, waving my hands at her. “You can’t just move out, we signed a year-long lease! We still have seven months left!”

  Kristi shrugged. “Sorry. Mike said this was our last chance to work things out.”

  I could feel my eyes bugging out of my head. “Are you kidding me? How am I supposed to afford rent now?”

  “Beats me,” Kristi said, grabbing her suitcase out of the closet. “But it’s your name on the lease, not mine, remember? I was late to the lease signing and you said it was okay if just your name was on it, as long as I paid my half. Well, now I’m done paying my half and I’m moving out. I’m going to make it work with Mike; I need to make it work this time. It’s not my problem.”

  I clenched my hands, forcing them to stay at my sides so that I didn’t pummel her and go to jail. Instead, I went to my laptop and sat down with it. I made up a flier seeking a new roommate and printed out a bunch of copies.

  Grabbing my purse, I took the fliers and started leaving them wherever I could. The apartment lobby, the café where I got my coffee every morning, the student union on campus. I was desperate. There was no way I could keep the apartment on my own.

  It took two days before I started getting calls. Even though I had specified that I was looking for a female roommate, I was surprised at the amount of men who called.

  On the fifth day, I was feeling defeated. I was looking online at other apartments for when I got kicked out.

  My phone rang, distracting me out of my misery. “Hello?”

  “Hi, is this Abigail?”

  I sighed. “Yes, it is.”

  “Hi! My name is Whitney! I’m calling about the roommate ad you put out.”

  This girl had some high energy. It’s worth a shot, I considered. “Yeah, why don’t I meet you later to discuss the details?”

  “Sure! Can’t wait!” Whitney exclaimed.

  We had met and clicked immediately. We were soul sisters. Now we had been living together for the past five years.

  My other lifeline, Lane, well he had come along just when I needed him. He was definitely a rock to lean on, a pair of arms to hold me up.

  Strong, muscly arms, I thought, smiling. I couldn’t seem to get enough of them. And that scared me. I had never met someone like him or been so attracted to a guy before. Was it bad to fall for someone so fast?

  I shook my head and rolled over, shoving my head under my pillow. No, I wasn’t falling for him. Not yet, anyway. Lane was someone I could see myself with for a long time though. Maybe once all this nonsense had settled down, we could really focus on just being together. Not Lane having to pick me up every time I was down. I didn’t want to be someone he was always rescuing.

  “I’m not a damsel!” I growled, sitting up.

  I could feel myself getting angry. “Not today,” I said. “Today will be a good day. No weirdness, no freaking out.” Taking a deep breath, I stood up to get dressed.

  Music was playing from the stereo in the living room and I saw Whitney dancing around in the kitchen while she cooked. I smiled as I took a seat at the bar.

  Whitney turned around, smiling when she saw me. “Good morning!” she sang as she pushed bacon and fried eggs in my direction.

  “Good morning yourself,” I said, scooping up my portion onto my plate. “You seem pretty chipper this morning.”

  “That’s because I am!” she replied, sitting beside me to make her plate. “This new guy started at work the other day. Super cute. He texted me last night.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Oh yeah? What’s going on there?”

  Whitney grinned at me before taking a drink of coffee. “No clue yet. But I think he’ll be fun to play with.”

  I snorted and covered my mouth as I giggled.

  “I’ll see him at work soon, so that’ll be fun,” she added.

  I nodded. “Yeah, good luck with your new endeavor.”

  Whitney made a face and stuck her tongue out at me. “Oh, whatever. I need a distraction. Plus, I don’t want to live vicariously through you and your relationship.”

  My cheeks burned as embarrassment shot through me. “It’s not a relationship! We haven’t even talked about that.”

  Whitney smirked at me. “Oh, so you’re just hooking up with Lane for fun?”

  Now my whole face was on fire. “We are not!” I replied indignantly. “There is zero hooking up going on.”

  Whitney just raised her eyebrows at me.

  “Just kissing,” I gave in. “Amazing, earth-shattering kissing.”

  “Earth-shattering, huh?” Whitney asked. “Now I’m jealous. He’s hot and a great kisser? I seriously need a boyfriend. Spill the details!”

  “I will not!” I exclaimed.

  “Oh, come on!” Whitney begged. “For your best friend?” She started giving me puppy dog eyes.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Okay, fine. You’re incorrigible. When we kiss it makes me feel like we’re the only two people on earth. All of his attention is on me. And his lips,” I sighed, “they’re so soft, yet it’s like they convey all his feelings in a kiss. Not to mention he’s incredibly well-built. Like a solid wall of muscles.”

  I turned back to Whitney to find her gaping at me. “What?”

  “Nothing! I mean, wow. That sounds incredible. I can’t wait to hear how he is in bed.”

  I choked on a bite of my eggs. “Oh my God, no Whitney. Besides, it might not even come to that! I don’t sleep with just anyone, you know.”

  “I know, I’m sorry,” Whitney said, covering my hand with hers. “I am happy for you, really. It’s just easy to tease you sometimes.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Thanks. Now you’ll get no more details about me and Lane.”

  “Spoilsport,” she mut
tered.

  “Nosy Nellie,” I retorted.

  **********

  As the day went on, I started feeling like my old self again. I wasn’t having any weird feelings. It was turning out to be a regular boring day. I loved it.

  Whitney had texted me a few times, sending what looked like covert pictures of her new boy-toy co-worker. All of her pictures were at an angle, either of the side of his face or it was blurry, like she was putting the phone down before she could be found out that she was taking his picture. From what I could tell, he was definitely easy on the eyes.

  I texted her back before settling down on the couch, cocooning myself in the blankets we always had laid out.

  “Just a short nap,” I told myself before drifting off.

  I woke up later to the sound of my phone’s notifications. The sun had moved around the apartment, now slanting across the hallway wall, slowly climbing its way up.

  I sat up and stretched, moving the blankets away from me. I grabbed my phone. There were a couple of texts from Whitney, but I felt myself getting excited when I saw one from Lane.

  Lane: Just checking on you. Been thinking about you today ;-)

  He had even sent a winking smiley face. I would have laughed if I hadn’t found it so adorable.

  Me: I’m good. Just having a lazy day. Finally!

  It wasn’t long before I heard my text tone go off.

  Lane: Oh yeah? Sleeping the day away?

  My cheeks burned as I glanced back at my impromptu bed. Whatever, I thought, it was a short nap anyway.

  Me: No, I wasn’t. Just relaxing, enjoying having the apartment to myself

  Lane: Alone, huh?

  I pressed my lips together to keep from grinning.

  Me: Yep. All alone

  Lane: Want some company?

  Me: I would, but Whitney should be home soon. She can keep me company ;-)

  Lane: You’re killing me here

  Me: Sorry. I’ll see you soon though

  Lane: I can’t wait

  I set the phone down before I could write back. Better to leave him hanging. I wasn’t about to be the clingy girl.

  Going to the kitchen, I started getting dinner ready. Fried chicken, one of Whitney’s favorites and one I could actually cook pretty well.

  As the oil was sputtering in the pan, I laid a few pieces of flour-covered chicken in to cook. I had just put in the last piece when I heard the front door open and close, with Whitney calling out a greeting.

  “In the kitchen!” I yelled out, wiping my hands off on a towel.

  “Oh my gosh, that smells so good! I’m starving!” Whitney said.

  “Good! That’s what I was going for.”

  Whitney smiled, pouring herself a glass of wine and getting out a beer for me.

  “Thanks,” I said, taking it from her.

  “Need any help?”

  “No, I think I’ve got it. I’m about to mash up some potatoes and we should be set.”

  “Well how about I make a salad?”

  “Sounds great!”

  We moved around each other comfortably, dancing a routine five years in the making.

  After dinner, we sat at the table, neither of us wanting to move.

  “So. Stuffed,” Whitney said, rubbing her stomach. “I swear you make that better than my mom.” She looked up at me, pointing her finger. “Don’t you tell her I said that.”

  I laughed. “No worries there. She scares me sometimes.”

  We sat there for a while, comfortable in our silence. I loved that about Whitney. There was never a need to fill the empty space, no awkward silences. We could just hang out together and not say a word.

  Eventually I hefted myself up from the table, gathering our dishes as I did. Whitney followed behind, throwing away trash.

  I stood at the sink, rinsing off the plates. “So, I haven’t had any episodes today,” I said, careful to keep my tone neutral.

  “Oh, really?” Whitney replied. “I’m so glad. I was wondering, but didn’t want to intrude, but then I figured you would have told me if you’d had something happen. Especially since…well, you know, how you were with the last few.”

  I glanced up to see Whitney’s cheeks turning red.

  “I’m sorry, that came out badly,” she said, running a hand through her hair.

  “No, it’s okay. I went a little crazy. I get it.” I turned back to the sink. “Hopefully I don’t do that next time.”

  “Oh no, there isn’t going to be a next time!” Whitney said forcefully, placing a hand on my shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with you and you’re not going to get any more episodes!”

  I sniffed, sudden tears pricking at my eyes. I shook my hands off and turned, hugging Whitney hard.

  “Thank you,” I whispered. “I’m so happy I have you.”

  Whitney’s hand rubbed my back. “You’ll always have me. I’m not going anywhere.”

  We separated, smiling at each other before turning to our individual tasks again.

  Later that night, I reviewed how my day had gone. I hadn’t had any weird dreams, no flashbacks or hallucinations, nothing. Maybe it was finally over. I smiled at the thought as I let sleep take over me.

  **********

  As the days passed into weeks, I was able to relax even more, getting back into my regular routine of working and being at home.

  Except now I was able to add Lane into it. We were connecting on a level I had never experienced before. Sometimes I would catch him looking at me, and whenever I caught him, he would give me a wink and smile. It made my stomach flip when he looked at me like that. I don’t think I had ever been happier.

  I should have known it wouldn’t last.

  I was keeping count in my head. A little over three weeks had passed since I had freaked out at the Chinese restaurant. More than three weeks of getting back to myself, feeling a little better each day.

  Being back at work helped. My boss never did bring up our meeting back when I had first seen the note.

  I sat back and stretched, noticing the hour for the first time in a while.

  “Hey Julie, you want to go grab some lunch?” I asked her.

  She swiveled around in her chair, a smile on her face. “Sure! Just let me finish up here.”

  I nodded and stood up, grabbing my purse. Marking the spot on my manuscript where I had left off, I went over to Julie’s desk. “Ready?”

  She nodded, getting her purse out of her drawer. “Ready! Where do you want to go?”

  “How about the coffee shop around the corner? They have amazing sandwiches and salad. Plus, I could use a pick-me-up.”

  “Perfect. Let’s go.”

  We headed to the elevator, chatting about our current projects. Once we arrived at the coffee shop and placed our orders, we found a corner table to sit at.

  Julie immediately launched into a story about her latest date. “So, Dave picked me up, and he took me to a hole-in-the-wall bar. Like, what? It was so gross, Abigail. You would not believe it. And then he tried to make a pass at me.”

  I nodded, thinking how lucky I was to have Lane. We may have met at a bar – okay, outside of the bar – but he had never been a creep.

  When Julie’s order number was called, I pulled out my phone to check for messages. There was a text from Whitney, a selfie with the hottie co-worker in the background. I snorted, shaking my head. The lengths that girl goes to, I laughed to myself.

  I hadn’t noticed that Julie had come back while I was replying to Whitney – Yeah, real discreet there! – so at first, I didn’t realize she was talking to me.

  “Wake up!”

  I looked up, startled, wondering why she was being so rude. She gestured to the counter and said, “Wake up!”

  Dread turned my blood to ice. I was frozen to my chair, unable to move. My breathing became shallow as I struggled for air. It was happening again, I just knew it.

  I slowly turned in my seat. The man working behind the counter held a tray and was re
peating those two horrifying words. He was looking around, waiting for someone to come claim the order. Waiting for me.

  I glanced back at Julie, who was watching me with a confused expression. She beckoned to the counter again. “Wake up.”

  Taking a deep breath, I slowly stood up, praying my wooden legs would carry me to the counter. Once there, the man handed me the tray with a smile. “Wake up!” All I could do was stare at him as he walked away.

  Looking around, it was obvious nobody else was hearing what I was hearing. I felt the blood drain from my face when I noticed the menu that was posted up on the wall behind the counter. Gone were the food and drink choices. Instead, every selection had been replaced with the phrase ‘wake up.’ I was looking at forty or so ‘wake up’s’ glaring back at me. Mocking me.

  Drawing in a shaky breath, I took a step backward, bumping into a man, causing him to drop his drink. “I’m so sorry,” I said automatically.

  The man looked irritated as he wiped his sleeves off. “Wake up!” he scolded loudly.

  I will not break down, I will not break down, I repeated to myself as I set my tray down on someone’s table and walked out of the door.

  I managed to make it all the way around the corner before the tears I was keeping at bay spilled over. I covered my mouth to mask my gasping as I fought for air. After a few minutes, I was able to draw in deeper breaths, calming myself down.

  I needed to get out of there, but I had no way of leaving. Julie had driven us here and I had left my things inside the restaurant with her.

  Heaving myself off the wall I had been leaning against, I started walking in the direction of the office. Even if I was going crazy, I couldn’t afford to just not show back up to work. It was important that I hold myself together.

  Ten minutes later, I was back at work. Going to my manager’s office, I let her know I was feeling sick and needed to leave. I grabbed my keys out of my desk drawer, hoping that Julie would bring my purse with her when she came back.

  I reached home in record time, weaving in and out of the lunch hour traffic. Whitney wouldn’t be home for a few more hours, which worked in my favor. I really needed to figure this out, and nobody else could help me, I was sure of that now.

  Grabbing a beer from the fridge and a notepad and pen from a drawer, I plopped down onto the couch, ready to work.