Invisible Future

by Lindsey Anderle

  I trembled, pleasure radiating from that sensitive spot. “Good morning yourself,” I whispered back.

  Lane’s hand moved up, leaving a trail of fire across my stomach. His thumb brushed the bottom of my bra, causing me to gasp and arch my back, trying to feel more.

  Lane snickered softly, kissing my neck again. His hand moved back down my stomach, fingers lightly grazing my skin.

  I tried to turn over to face him, but he held me still with the arm that was below me. “Uh-uh. You don’t get to move.” Emphasizing his point, he dropped a leg over both of mine.

  I tried to control my breathing, so he couldn’t hear the gasping that was wanting to escape.

  Lane’s hand was on my hip, his thumb teasing the edge of my panties, making me grateful I at least had a nice pair on. I wriggled, unable to hold still anymore.

  Lane smacked my behind lightly. “Stay still. I’m enjoying myself.”

  “You could enjoy yourself more if I could roll over,” I said, squirming more to get a rise out of him.

  Lane laughed and flipped me over, kissing me hard. All rational thought left me as his lips took over. I moaned as his tongue gently brushed against mine, wreaking havoc on my attempt to breathe normally.

  As we kissed, there was a natural push and pull to our rhythm that came to us. His hand cupped me from behind, hitching my leg over his, fitting our forms together.

  I pulled back, looking Lane in the eye. He had the same desperate look on his face that I was sure was on mine. My hand traced his features: across his eyebrow, down his straight nose, over his full lips. My eyes followed my hand, entranced by its actions.

  When I finally lifted my eyes back to Lane’s, I noticed a desire in them that drew me in. I slowly slid closer, my nose bumping his.

  His hand pushed the hair away from my face, ending at the back of my neck, holding me close to him.

  “I won’t go any further than you’re ready for.” He brushed his lips gently across mine, sucking in my bottom lip before nipping at it.

  I groaned, “You’re making it really hard to say no.” Leaning back, I kept Lane at a distance. “How did you end up in my bed, anyway?”

  He tried to hide his smile. “You don’t remember?”

  I shook my head. “Only bits and pieces. I guess I took that ‘forgetting’ toast literally.”

  Lane smiled at me, shaking his head. “We went through a few drinks and I think you texted Whitney to join us. We stayed until the bar closed, and we came back here. You didn’t want me going home drunk and offered for me to stay here. You did a sexy little striptease for me,” he said, raising his eyebrows while I died of embarrassment.

  He pulled my hands away from my face. “Don’t worry, you were amazing. But I’m not going to have our first time be while we’re drunk and won’t remember it.”

  I let out a soft sigh, laying my head down on his chest. His top hand held me closely, while his other played with my hair, lulling me into a daze.

  I wasn’t sure how long we lied there, entwined together. Our legs had become puzzle pieces fitted together and our arms were busy caressing each other’s bare skin. I breathed in Lane’s masculine scent, mixed with his cologne.

  Pressing my lips to his chest, I whispered, “I was an idiot last night.”

  Lane shifted his head back to look at me. “No, you weren’t. You were trying to protect yourself, and me. Nothing idiotic about that. You were being selfless. I just want you to let me in, believe that you can trust in me.”

  I scrunched my face up against the barrage of emotions I was feeling. Relief, that Lane wasn’t running, even when I was pushing him away. Anxiety, that I would have to tell him every crazy detail. And there was a last emotion I felt bubbling up that I wasn’t sure I was ready to face yet.

  “I had another episode yesterday.” I rolled onto my back so I wouldn’t have to look at Lane. He followed me anyway, leaning up on one elbow to look down at me as I spoke.

  Staring at my ceiling, I said, “I went out to lunch with a co-worker to some café. I – I—”

  Lane tilted my head to face him and gently kissed me. “Take your time. You’re safe here.”

  Hot tears stung my eyes. I leaned up and kissed him back. “You’re too perfect.”

  Lane chuckled. “I don’t know about that. I just know how I feel about you and what I would do for you.”

  I smiled. “That makes me feel good.” I sat up, reveling in the pleasure I felt when Lane’s eyes drifted downward to my chest. He gave me a cheeky half-smile when he looked back up.

  “I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not,” he said, smirking at me.

  Pursing my lips, I shook my head. “Typical guy. If your hormones have calmed down, I’m ready to tell you what happened.”

  Lane put on a serious face. “I’m ready.”

  I rolled my eyes at his antics, feeling more relaxed than before. “So, like I was saying, I was out to lunch yesterday.”

  Lane nodded, silently encouraging me to continue.

  I took a deep breath. “It was auditory and visual. Hallucinations, I mean. All I could see and hear was ‘wake up.’ Everywhere. People talking to me, words written down. They were all the same.” Dread filled my stomach, remembering the horrible feelings. I swallowed, trying to repress it.

  Lane’s look of concern stopped me for a second before I plowed on.

  “I think I need a doctor. To do some scans or something. Something is wrong with me.”

  Lane sat up, wrapping me in his arms, giving me security. “I will be here with you, no matter what.”

  I laid my head on his shoulder. “You don’t know how grateful I am to hear that. But I also don’t want you sticking by out of pity.”

  Lane pushed me back so we could see eye to eye. “Don’t be ridiculous. It is not pity that I feel for you. I thought I had made that clear. I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You love a crazy girl. Don’t deny it,” I said when I saw him start to protest.

  “Then I won’t,” he said, smiling. “But you’re my crazy girl.”

  “And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I said, slowly pushing him back down onto the bed. I hovered over him, searching his face.

  Lane smiled at me before drawing me down to him for a kiss. If it was possible, it was even better than before.

  Lane’s hands drifted down my back, hesitating when he reached the bottom before sliding them down lower, holding me closer to him.

  I could feel his arousal under me, taking my mind places as his mouth worked magic on mine. Finally, I pushed away.

  “I don’t – I’m not – um, I’m not ready,” I stammered, feeling a blush creep up my neck to my face.

  Lane brushed my hair back, his thumb stroking my cheek. “It’s okay. I told you, only as far as you’re ready to go. I’m okay with that.”

  I smiled. “I was right. You are too perfect.”

  Lane laughed at that. “I believe you’re wrong, my dear, but I’ll let you keep saying it.”

  I sat up again, bringing him with me. “I will! Now let’s go get some breakfast. I’m starving.”

  **********

  The next Wednesday, I was sitting and waiting anxiously at the doctor’s office. I had done all of my testing yesterday, and today I would be hearing the results.

  I’m going to puke, I thought, wishing my stomach would settle.

  Neither Lane nor Whitney had been able to come with me today. I had thought I would be okay until I found myself alone waiting for either good or bad news.

  I blinked furiously as tears threatened to fall. I couldn’t believe I was alone on such an important day! I took my phone out of my pocket to text Whitney and Lane.

  Me: You suck. You’re gonna feel horrible when I come home with bad news

  Whitney was the first to text back.

  Whitney: THINK POSITIVE! You’re going to be fine!

  I smiled. I should change my attitude. It couldn’t hurt at least. Another text popp
ed up, but before I could read it, the doctor came in, carrying a file.

  “Hello, Abigail, I’m Doctor Woods. I’ve got your test results here if you’re ready to go over them.”

  I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry. Nodding, I said, “Yes, I’m ready.”

  Dr. Woods nodded and sat back in his desk chair. Opening the file, he flipped through a few pages. “Well, the good news is we didn’t find anything.”

  I slumped over, letting out the breath I was holding. “Oh, thank God,” I said. I looked up at him. “Wait, does that mean there’s bad news?”

  “I’m not sure yet. You were describing some very vivid, detailed things to us yesterday. I’m actually a little surprised that nothing showed up.” He leaned forward, closing the file and pushing it to the side. “The hallucinations and dreams you’re having mean that something is wrong. Right now, I’d like to prescribe you some anti-anxiety medicine and see if that helps.”

  I just stared at Dr. Woods, blinking. “Anxiety? You just think it’s…anxiety? That I’m so stressed out that I’m causing myself to hallucinate?” I didn’t even know how to take that.

  “Unfortunately, as of right now, that’s the best I have to offer. I’m not going to be offering anything that could potentially harm you with no conclusive evidence of anything physical going on.”

  I scoffed at that. “Okay, so I’m just to drug myself up and hope for the best?” I rolled my eyes.

  Dr. Woods sighed. “I would hope you wouldn’t think of it like that. Can you think of anything in your life that might be contributing to your current situation? Anything with your family or friends…boyfriend?”

  I wracked my brain, trying to be cooperative, but nothing came to mind. I shook my head. “Nope. It was literally just out of the blue. I haven’t been stressed about anything before this.”

  “Okay.” Dr. Woods grabbed a pad of paper and started writing. “I’m writing your prescription, which should be ready in a couple of hours.” He handed it to me and I took it, noticing my hand was shaking.

  Dr. Woods smiled gently. “It’s going to be okay. I bet once the medicine kicks in and regulates, you’ll feel a whole lot better.”

  I nodded and stood up, gathering my purse. “Thank you, Dr. Woods. I hope this is the answer I’ve been looking for.”

  “I’m sure it will help you,” he said. “Come back in one month and we’ll see how it’s going.”

  “Okay, thank you.”

  We shook hands and I left, clutching the prescription like a lifeline. This has to work, I thought. It just has to.

  By the time I had gotten through the traffic blocking the roads and made it to the store, it had already been close to one hour. I went to the pharmacy and then wandered around to browse.

  Finding myself in the book section like always, I laughed to realize I was in the self-help area.

  “This is stupid, these won’t help me,” I whispered to myself. I grabbed a couple anyway, figuring I could use all the help I could get.

  After getting my new medicine and hiding it away, I drove home, hoping to relax. It was afternoon when I arrived, and Whitney wasn’t home yet. I grabbed a beer from the fridge, taking a drink on my way to the couch.

  Staring at my bag of goodies, I tried to psych myself up. “It’s just medicine, it’s only going to help me. And if not, I’ll just quit. Easy enough. There’s nothing wrong with needing some help.”

  I finally got the courage to take out the bottle and read it. “Well crap, no alcohol. Whoops,” I said, looking at my bottle. “Oh well. One won’t hurt, right?”

  Shrugging, I took another drink. I needed to calm down. I had no idea why I was so nervous. Reaching for my phone, I saw the forgotten text on there. It was from Lane.

  Lane: Abby, I know you’ll be okay. There is nothing wrong with you! We can celebrate the good news that I KNOW you’re going to get by going to dinner tonight. What do you say?

  Me: That sounds perfect. Do you want the news now or later?

  Lane: Now! What happened?

  Me: Can you talk on the phone?

  It rang almost immediately.

  “Hey!” I answered.

  “Hey, yourself! So, how did it go?”

  “Well, nothing is wrong with me.”

  “I knew it!” Lane’s voice was upbeat.

  “Well, hold on there, cowboy. The doctor said they didn’t find anything, but he’s got me on an anti-anxiety medicine.”

  Lane exhaled. “Well, that’s okay, isn’t it? Do you think it will help you?”

  I shrugged, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “I’m really not sure. The doctor basically said I was stressing myself out enough to make me hallucinate.”

  Silence. Then, “Well, that would make sense…but how does that explain me?”

  “Oh no. Don’t tell me I’m making you up too?” I said jokingly.

  “Ha, ha. No, I assure you, I’m as real as you are.”

  “Well good. Although if not, my brain sure does know how to make ‘em. But seriously, good point. How does this explain you?”

  “No idea. It’s not like I’m experiencing anything that you are, besides being able to read the note.”

  “Hmmm. Maybe I can ask Whitney when she gets here.”

  “Sounds good. So what time should I come get you?”

  “Whenever you want! I’m sitting at home right now. Alone,” I said suggestively.

  Lane groaned. “Of course you are, because I’m busy for the next few hours.”

  I grinned. “Aww, that’s too bad. I guess I’ll just see you in a few hours then.”

  “You can count on it.”

  After saying goodbye, I looked to my medicine again. “Nothing scary about you, is there? I’ll just take my dose and be done with it.”

  I opened the bottle and shook out a pill. I chased it down with my beer. “I’m a horrible patient,” I said out loud. “But it’s just one beer. It shouldn’t hurt anything.”

  The next thing I knew, Whitney came crashing into the apartment. I winced, covering my ears.

  “Why are you being so loud?” I asked, going into the kitchen.

  Whitney turned from the table, where she was depositing her work bag and stepped out of her shoes.

  “Oh, hey! How was your appointment?”

  I felt my face lose color as I realized I never updated Whitney after I had left. “Oh my God, I never texted you! I’m so sorry! It was fine, I’m fine! The doctor said he couldn’t find anything on the tests, so he just prescribed an anti-anxiety medicine for me to take.”

  Whitney hugged me. “That’s great news, Abigail! Let’s celebrate!” She went to the fridge and got out a beer and her wine. She popped mine open and poured herself a glass.

  Handing my drink to me, she clinked it with her glass. “Cheers! To being healthy and not crazy! Just a little anxious!” she laughed.

  I laughed with her and took a drink. “Oh shoot, Whitney, I’ve already taken a pill plus had a beer earlier. I’m not supposed to mix them.”

  Whitney waved her hand, dismissing me. “One night won’t hurt. It’s barely in your system anyhow. You’ll be fine!”

  I just looked at her, unsure. She tipped my drink up to my lips, forcing me to either drink it or let it spill.

  “See, that wasn’t so bad!”

  “Fine, Whitney, one drink! By the way, I’m meeting up with Lane tonight. He’s coming by in a few hours.”

  Whitney leaned against the kitchen counter, looking at me. “Is he coming to celebrate with you?” She leered at me.

  “Oh wow, Whitney, no!” I busted out laughing. “There has been no celebrating going on.”

  Whitney pouted. “For real? He’s a delectable morsel, don’t let him waste away.”

  I choked on my drink, coughing as it burned in my nose. Whitney rushed over to pat me on the back while I grabbed a towel to wipe my face off with.

  “You’re ridiculous and impossible. If any…celebrating…were to happen, you know I w
ould tell you,” I said, my face blushing to a new shade of red.

  Whitney laughed. “I’m just teasing! I’m just wishing I was having more luck with Luke at work.”

  I smiled at her. “Don’t worry. No guy can resist your charm.”

  She smirked. “True. I’ll be patient. Now, what are you planning on wearing tonight?”

  I looked down at my jeans and t-shirt. “I’m guessing you’re not going to let me wear this?”

  Whitney shook her head. “Oh, no. You’re going to go shave your legs, put on heels, and knock Lane off his feet.”

  Rolling my eyes, I turned to march down the hall. “Yes, mom,” I called back sarcastically.

  Later, Whitney was behind me curling my hair. “There,” she proclaimed. “That’s the last bit. Stand up, let’s see it.”

  I stood up, showing off the burgundy dress Whitney had found in her closet. The spaghetti straps showed off my arms and more of my chest than I usually did while the mid-thigh length showcased my long legs, and my feet were clad in black heels.

  I glanced at Whitney to see her reaction. She was looking me up and down, scrutinizing my appearance. She came to stand in front of me. “You look stunning.”

  I could’ve sworn I saw a proud tear in her eye. “Thanks, Whitney.”

  The sound of knocking on the front door interrupted us. A thrill of excitement danced through me.

  I opened the door and Lane took a step back, examining me. I nervously waited for him to look back up. When he did, the look in his eyes told me everything I needed to know. Stepping closer to him, I gave him a slow kiss, drinking in the rousing scent that he always had.

  “Ahem!” Whitney coughed behind us. “If you two are quite finished, Abigail, here’s your purse.”

  I took it from her, whispering, “Thank you,” and left with Lane. He drove us to a steakhouse in the heart of the city that I had never been to before.

  Over drinks and dinner, we discussed my tests and what the doctor said. I kept worrying about the medicine I had taken but tried to relax and remember what Whitney had said about it barely being in my system.

  But by the end of dinner, I was feeling more inebriated than I should have for the two glasses of wine that I had drunk.

  “Lane, I’m not feeling too hot,” I said, hearing my speech slur. I looked over at him, but the room was starting to spin. “Not good at all.”