Invisible Future

by Lindsey Anderle

  Mom and Dad walked over to the nurse in the corner, speaking in hushed tones with her. Occasionally, they would glance over at me and the nurse would shake her head at something one of them would say. I didn’t even try to be curious. Obviously, they were talking about me.

  I closed my eyes, weariness taking over me. Blackness consumed me, and I was gone. I was dreaming about Lane. We were out on a date somewhere, but I didn’t look around me. All I could focus on was Lane. I wanted to drink him in and savor the moment of just being with him again. Finally, he spoke to me and I smiled.

  “Abigail? Can you hear me?”

  I frowned, groaning. I did not want to wake up, not when I was dreaming about Lane.

  “Abigail?”

  That voice.

  I opened my eyes and saw I was facing the window. The sun had shifted over so not as much light was coming in. I turned my head and froze.

  Lane.

  I gasped, my eyes filling with tears again. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t happening. I was still dreaming, wasn’t I?

  He smiled at me and took my hand. “Abigail, I’m Dr. Cole. I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am to see you awake. It’s been a long five years for all of us here, but I know especially for your parents.”

  I looked behind him to see Mom and Dad watching us, beaming.

  “How are you here?” I whispered.

  His brow furrowed, just like it always did when he was concerned about me, and he patted my hand. “Well, I’m your doctor. Yours is an interesting and rare case and we’ve been doing a lot of things to try to bring you out of your coma.”

  He stepped back so Mom and Dad could come in closer. “If you two wouldn’t mind, I’m going to go over Abigail’s charts and then I’ll come back and we can talk.” He turned to leave.

  “Lane,” I said, not wanting him to leave.

  He turned around in surprise, looking at me. “How did you know my name?” He looked at Mom and Dad, but they both shook their heads.

  “We haven’t said anything,” Mom said.

  Dr. Cole nodded, a pensive look on his face, and he looked at me again. “I’ll be back soon so we can talk.”

  I nodded, not ready to watch him leave. I kept my eyes on the door long after he walked through it.

  Mom turned to me. “How did you know his name?”

  Keeping my eyes on the door, I said, “Because he was there in my dream. Because I’m in love with him.”

  I heard her sharp intake of breath and knew she was looking at Dad, wondering what to do. He stepped up and patted my shoulder. “Let’s just see what he has to say when he comes back.”

  It took thirty more minutes before Lane, Dr. Cole, his name is Dr. Cole, came back to see us. He gestured for my parents to sit at the table while he stood at the foot of my bed so he was able to see all of us at the same time.

  “So, Ed and Sherry, I know you already know this, so I’m going to catch Abigail up on what’s been going on.” They nodded and he turned to me. “Abigail, your parents told you that you’ve been in a coma, correct?”

  I nodded.

  “Good. It was a pretty severe one. The injuries you sustained in your accident should have done worse than that. You’re lucky to be alive. You were moved here after you were finished healing at the hospital. It’s more private than a hospital, plus the care is more personalized. I was the one who took your case. It’s been a long five years, Abigail. Nothing we were doing to stimulate you to wake up was working. Your scans were all coming back clear, showing us that there was still brain activity. Your body had just decided to shut down and retreat into itself.”

  This was a lot to take in. Hearing the gritty details about something that I couldn’t even remember was weird.

  Dr. Cole continued. “There was a technology that we came across called DreamScape that we thought we would take a gamble on. It’s an extremely new procedure and is still in the testing phase. We knew you were having dreams in your coma based on scans we were doing. This new technology allowed us to implant suggestions into your dream.”

  The blood left my face and dizziness rushed over me. I knew exactly what they were talking about.

  “The note,” I said softly.

  Dr. Cole nodded. “I’m guessing you know what we’re talking about then? We didn’t know how it would present itself to you in your dream. We didn’t even know if it would work. Like I said, this was still experimental and new. We had to hook you up to a machine and a computer and one of the DreamScape techs wrote in a code that would appear to you in a natural state in your dream. Can you tell us about it?”

  I nodded and tried to lift myself up straighter. The heavy blanket feeling was receding, and I was feeling more in control of my body. I could tell that I was extremely weak though and I was far too thin.

  “It was a note. I had this whole life. I remembered everything, I had no idea none of it was real. I had a job, a roommate, a boyfriend.” At this, I couldn’t help but look at Dr. Cole, who curiously enough blushed and looked away. “I was an editor at a publishing company and the note came in one of my manuscripts. It scared the living daylights out of me. Nobody could see it except for me and—” Again, I paused, looking at Dr. Cole. He nodded at me to continue.

  “It said I had been in a coma for five years and that I needed to wake up. It was insane. I started hallucinating, hearing voices. I hated it. Every moment of it. I felt like I was going crazy.” Tears were slipping down my cheeks, and when I looked at my parents, I saw that they were crying too.

  Mom rushed out of her seat and gathered me in a hug, crying. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. I’m so sorry this happened to you.” She rocked me back and forth.

  Dad cleared his throat and wiped his eyes dry. “So, what’s the next step, Doctor? What do we do now?”

  “Well, now we just get Abigail into rehab. She needs to relearn how to walk, how to sit, basically build up her muscles that she hasn’t been using for five years. Plus, we’re going to have talks about her time in her coma, see what all she remembers from before the accident and what her dreams were like while she was under. She may want to talk to a professional, a psychiatrist, to help her deal with coming back to the real world.”

  My parents nodded, as if I hadn’t just had a life altering experience. I couldn’t help but let tears fall down my cheeks as I tried to process the events of the last day.

  Dr. Cole was the first to notice and cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. Dad came over to join Mom in comforting me, trying to calm me down. That only made me cry harder. I didn’t know what else to do. How was I supposed to accept all of this? Was this supposed to be okay?

  “Well, I think Abigail has had enough to deal with today. How about we give her some room, so she can rest if she wants to?” Dr. Cole suggested.

  Mom and Dad nodded, and each gave me a kiss before heading out the door together. Dr. Cole lingered behind, fidgeting with his clipboard and papers.

  “Maybe we could have a talk later? Just to fill you in on some more gaps?” he asked, sounding nervous.

  I nodded. “Yes, I’d like that.”

  He gave a perfunctory nod and then left the room. I was left there in my bed, reeling from the day’s information and events.

  Lying back, I took a deep breath, hoping to steady myself. I had done it. I had beaten the coma and left it. Now I just needed to get my emotions in order. And figure out how the hell Lane was here. As a doctor. Did that mean that Whitney could be here too? Maybe I had been imagining people I already knew, and that’s why they were in my dreams.

  I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, a nurse was coming in with a tray of food, raising my bed so I could be sitting up. Groaning, I pushed myself up straighter. The food looked…bland, at best. Applesauce, a slice of toast, and chicken noodle soup. I tried the soup first, only to find that it had no flavor. No seasoning or anything. I guessed it was straight from the can. Gross. I pushed it aside so I could eat the applesauce and toa
st. That part wasn’t too bad at least.

  I rang for the nurse after I was finished. My catheter had been removed earlier and I was hoping to get to the bathroom soon. The nurse came in and maneuvered me so I was sitting up. This was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I had broken out into a sweat and was shaking from the effort. Who knew just sitting up would be so hard? I guess Dr. Cole was right about needing a lot of physical therapy. How was I supposed to do anything for myself at this point?

  The nurse helped me into a wheelchair and pushed me to the bathroom, helping me again as I sat down on the toilet. After I was finished, she wheeled me to the sink to wash my hands and then back to bed. By the time I was lying down again, I was sticky with sweat and breathing harshly. My legs were shaky and felt rubbery and my stomach muscles ached like I had just done a bunch of sit-ups. This was impossible. How would I recover from this?

  The nurse smiled at me and patted me down with a towel. “This will get easier, trust me,” she said. “The sooner you get back to using your muscles, the easier it will be.”

  I barely contained my eye roll, and instead went for a smile. “Thanks. I’ll try to remember that.” I already knew I was going to be tortured by my physical therapist.

  The nurse left me alone and I drew the blankets up, thankful for the slight comfort they gave me. It was going to be an adjustment going from the world I knew to this one that was real.

  At that moment, Dr. Cole came in the room, hesitating for a second when he saw me watching him. He walked over to a chair and brought it to my bedside and sat down. He sighed, running his hand through his hair, making my heart ache with the familiarity of the gesture. I couldn’t keep from staring at it as it moved, hair whipping back into place as his hand moved through it.

  “So, you have questions I presume,” he said.

  “A ton actually,” I said, wishing he would just explain everything.

  Dr. Cole sat there watching me for a minute before sighing and looking away. “You saw me, didn’t you?” he asked as if he was sure of the answer.

  I couldn’t speak, astounded that he could tell what I was thinking. He knew?

  Dr. Cole looked back up at me, waiting for an answer. I could only nod, wishing for words to form so I could ask him what was going on. He opened his mouth as if to answer, and then closed it again.

  “Please just tell me what’s going on,” I pleaded. “I’m so confused. I thought I had lost everything when I woke up, but here you are.”

  “It’s a long story,” he started, “but I’ll try to start at the beginning, so you’ll know everything.”

  I nodded my agreement. This was what I wanted, to know everything.

  “So,” Dr. Cole started, “my name is Lane Cole.” He stopped at my sharp inhale and held up his hand. “Please, let me just explain. You came in five years ago, recovering from your car accident and in a coma. We had tried everything, everything we could think of, to get you to wake up. Nothing was working. Your parents were losing hope of you ever waking up, but I didn’t want you to become just another person in the system here.

  “I spent most of my days in here with you, watching you and talking to you, hoping something would trigger you to wake up. That turned into me coming in on my breaks, eating or reading. I started reading to you out loud. I wasn’t sure if you could hear anything in your coma, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to try it. I didn’t really know you, only things from what your parents said as I spoke to them about you. But I came to care about you in my own way.”

  His face turned red as he spoke, as if he was embarrassed to be divulging these secrets.

  “So, I started to do more research on your case. I wanted to try to find similar cases, thinking maybe they would help me. In doing so, I came across DreamScape and their new technology that could be used for coma patients. It was a completely new thing, and it had only been used a couple of other times. At this point, I thought it couldn’t hurt to try it. So, I talked to your parents about it, explained that it wasn’t a sure thing, and they agreed to it.

  “So they came out, we hooked you up to their machines and sent the note. I had asked the tech to add in some coding that would put in a copy of myself in your dream. It was something I didn’t tell your parents about, but I had come to care for you and wanted to try anything to help you. We didn’t know if it would work, of course. It was an extremely long shot, for both myself and the note we had sent you. DreamScape is still an up-and-coming company, but they are cutting edge technology, which is why I recommended them to your parents. They were desperate for you to wake up.”

  My head was whirling with all the information he was telling me. “You were there. You looked exactly the same as you do here. So you had no idea if it had worked or not? Or that you were there with me?”

  Dr. Cole shook his head. “No, we didn’t know if it would work. DreamScape is working on this now, to see if they can figure out a way to know if something that they send out is received in the minds of the patients. You are an amazing success case for them. I’m sure many others will be wanting to use them for their own families and patients now.”

  I just nodded, speechless.

  He looked at me, hesitant. “So…can you tell me about it? You said I was there with you? What happened?”

  I blushed, thinking of how we spent some of our last moments together. Dr. Cole noticed my red face and smiled a little bit, seeming amused.

  “I, uh, well we met outside of a bar. You saved me actually,” I stammered. “Your name was Lane Coleman. We started dating soon after that.”

  Dr. Cole really looked amused now, a twinkle in his eyes. “Did we now?”

  I took a deep breath. “Yeah, we did. We dated and eventually I told you about the note. At that point, nobody else could see it. It just appeared to them as a normal piece of paper, just one page in a manuscript I was reading at the time. But to me, there was a section in there that was the note.” I looked over at him. “But you could see it. How is that possible?”

  Dr. Cole took a deep breath, rubbing his chin, mulling it over. “My thinking is that because the tech from DreamScape put in the coding for the note and for me at the same time, I was able to see the note. Nobody else could see it at all?”

  I shook my head no.

  “Well, I hope I was able to bring you some comfort while I was there.”

  “You did,” I said. “You were my rock in there. I couldn’t have done as much as I had without you there. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  Dr. Cole blushed and looked down. “Like I said, I came to care about you. Maybe my dream copy was the same way.”

  It was my turn to blush now. “Yeah, yeah you did. We loved each other.”

  He looked up sharply at that. “Really?”

  “Yeah,” I whispered. “And I don’t know how to separate this real you from the you that I know.”

  Dr. Cole put a hand on top of mine. “I don’t want you upset. I want you to take this time to recover and focus on you.”

  I searched his eyes, not sure what I would find there. I felt like my heart was breaking again. I hadn’t realized until then that when I first saw him after waking that my hopes had gotten up, that maybe we could be together again. But it seemed that he didn’t want me. He was just my doctor and that was it.

  “Focus on me. Right. I’ll do that,” I said as I moved my hand away from his.

  He grabbed it back and held on tighter. “I didn’t mean it like that. You said you knew me in your dream. But I may not be the same person. I only know you as my patient. You might not be the same as I thought you were either.” He paused, hesitating. “I want to get to know you, the real you. If that’s okay with you. I won’t be able to be your doctor anymore if I do though. It would be the whole conflict of interest thing, you know.”

  I felt my face glowing, the blood rushing to my cheeks. “You really want that? Even though you only know me as the girl who’s been sleeping for five years?”

&nb
sp; Dr. Cole nodded, face flushing. “Like I said, I came to care for you as I spent time with you here. It sounds absurd, I know. But I’m happy to hear that I was able to give you comfort in your dreams as you were dealing with trying to wake up.”

  “You had my back the whole time in there,” I said. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  Dr. Cole looked down at our entwined hands, and I noticed that I was absentmindedly rubbing his hand with my thumb. I stopped, blushing, thinking I was overstepping my bounds. He squeezed my hand, silently reassuring me that it was okay.

  Epilogue

  It took approximately an eternity for me to learn how to walk and be functional again. According to my parents, it was really only fourteen months, three weeks, and four days. Only. Yeah, okay. They weren’t the ones crying at the ends of most days, screaming at their physical trainer to just stop. I threw a lot of things in those days. Whatever I could get my hands on, I threw it at my trainer. She didn’t take it personally, thank goodness. She was used to being yelled at by most of her patients.

  Of course, I was her only long-term coma patient that she had ever had. She wasn’t sure what to expect of me, and honestly didn’t expect me to recover one hundred percent anyway. After hearing that, I applied my whole being to exceeding her expectations. I wanted to prove to her, to everyone, that I could recover. That I was strong enough – stubborn enough, according to my parents – to overcome the mountains that rose up in front of me.

  Dr. Cole – Lane – was there every step of the way. I had switched doctors so that we could explore what there was between us. I couldn’t bring myself to stop loving him, even though he wasn’t the same person that I had come to know and care about.

  We didn’t tell anyone about what we were doing at first. Then, one day, my mom came in during the day while he was visiting me on his lunch break. I was eating my own lunch, happy to have graduated to some more solid foods, and we were laughing about some story. Lane had his hand on mine and our fingers had slipped around each other’s, binding us together.