“Why would you think that? Have you been in my room?” Elin’s eyes narrow, and for a second I think laser beams are going to come shooting out of them.
Before my head can explode looking for an excuse, I catch sight of a loose picture on the ground that must’ve slipped out of her book when she wasn’t looking.
“Cos of this!” I snatch it up and wave it at her triumphantly. It’s a drawing of Elin dressed as a princess riding a white horse, just like the one she’s got on her bedside table.
Elin grabs the picture off me and stuffs it into her jacket. “Don’t touch my things. Ever.”
“So are you going to ask for a horse, or just riding lessons?” I try again. “A horse would be so cool. You could keep it in the back garden and Dad could build a shed for it. I’m going to get a remote-controlled helicopter for Christmas and then for my birthday I’m going to get—”
“You think money just grows on trees, don’t you?” Elin snaps. She’s got her creepy doll face on again, and her eyes are like little chips of ice. I can’t tell what she’s thinking, so I just have to guess.
“Uh-uh, but that would be awesome! Imagine if we planted a ten-pound note, and it grew into a big money tree, then we could—”
“Don’t be so stupid!” Elin interrupts me before I can tell her my totally brilliant plan for spending all the cash we’d grow in the back garden next to the horse shed. “My mum can’t even afford to get riding lessons for my birthday, never mind an actual horse.”
“Why not?” I blink, confused. “I mean, Dad just bought me a TV and a new game console and a smartphone so I can video chat with Mum, and next weekend we’re going shopping for a better microscope so I can be the best scientist ever!”
“Exactly! So where do you think the money my mum’s been saving for my riding lessons has gone, hmm?”
Elin’s glaring at me like she’s expecting an answer. Before I can work it out, a girl from our class with messy hair and big glasses comes shuffling up to us. She looks even more scared of Elin than I do. She reaches into her jacket and pulls out a book that’s a bit bent and stained and hands it over.
“Thanks for letting me read this,” she says shyly. “I really liked it, especially the bit about—”
“I told you to give that back to me ages ago! It’s overdue at the library now.” Elin doesn’t look happy to get her book back, she looks mad.
“Oh! I’m sorry, I got so into the story I wanted to finish it. Did you like the evil robot or the warrior princess best? I thought the robot was brilliant! It was so exciting when it—”
“I told you not to get this book messed up! Look what you’ve done to it! The cover’s all bent, and what’s that on the pages? Were you eating crisps when you read it?”
The girl’s face goes all wobbly like jelly and she mumbles an apology and backs away. She’s gone before I can tell her I’ve read the book too and the evil robot is the best thing ever. Maybe Elin doesn’t like the robot because it reminds her too much of herself.
“It’s a good book,” I tell Elin instead, “but the second one’s even better. Have you read it yet? There’s this one bit where—”
“Why are you still here?”
Elin’s scowling at me like I’m wearing my pyjamas in the middle of the playground.
“Er… just… nothing. I’m bored. Do you want to go and look for ants in the grass?”
“Jamie, I’m only going to say this once, so listen carefully.” Elin takes a deep breath like talking to me is a huge effort. “Don’t speak to me in school, OK? Don’t even look at me. You’re not my stepbrother, and you’re definitely not my friend. Leave me alone, understand?”
I blink at her again, then I go and sit on the step by the senior years’ door by myself.
I was wrong.
There are rules out here in the playground after all.
The rest of the morning is one long torture session of trying to stay in my seat and not shout out the answers to easy science questions or get ink stains on my brand new jotters when I scribble things out. At least the classroom assistant Miss Finlay is nice, and with her help I manage to make it to the lunch bell without getting yelled at again.
If class was bad though, it’s nothing compared to lunch. I nearly go off my head when I open my lunchbox to find Elin’s filled it with cheese sandwiches. She put them there to wind me up, I know she did. I’ve told her a million times the only sandwiches I like are jam or peanut butter. Cheese is a big block of smelly earwax and toenail fungus and bogies.
She’s sitting on the other side of the dinner hall watching me right now, waiting for me to have another meltdown. I think she likes seeing me go crazy cos it makes her look so perfect in comparison. I don’t get why we can’t just be friends. Maybe if I give her my Transformers torch for her birthday she’ll like me. It’s my best thing, but maybe if it’s her best thing instead we can be friends.
I take a big deep breath prescribed by Doctor Mackay and push my cheese sandwiches away with the edge of my banana so I don’t have to touch them. I’ll throw them in the bin when the monitor’s not looking.
“Hey! You have to eat those! You’re not allowed to waste food.”
Oh.
Great.
The one girl who hates me even more than Elin does is on lunch duty. Rachel’s been laughing at me all morning with her nasty friend Lauren. She even told the teacher that I’d pushed her at break. I don’t know what her problem is, I mean, I haven’t even been here a whole day, so I haven’t had time to do anything to annoy her yet, have I?
“I’m going to eat them,” I tell Rachel, “I’m just having my banana first.”
Rachel doesn’t go away though. She just stands there waiting for me to eat my sandwiches. She must’ve guessed I can’t stand them from the faces I was making.
“Come on Freak-Boy, get them eaten.” Rachel grins at me, and her mean eyes go all small and beady.
Freak-Boy. I thought I’d escape that name when I moved here. Maybe I have it tattooed to my forehead or something and I’m the only one who can’t see it.
“I will eat them, just give me a minute.”
I’m getting anxious again. The thought of cramming those slices of orange crud into my mouth and swallowing them is making my stomach churn.
“Your face is going all red Freak-Boy, do you fancy me or something? Or are you going to kick another tantrum? What are you, three years old?”
“Leave me alone,” I snap, balling my fists to hold onto my temper. “Go away!”
“Not until you eat those sandwiches. Every. Last. Bit.”
“I don’t want to!” My hands are starting to shake. The Hulk is about to be unleashed.
All the kids at my dinner table are looking at me, and any minute now a teacher’s going to come over and ask what the problem is. Then there’ll be real fireworks.
“Fine. There’s Miss Morrison. I’m going to tell her, and she’ll make you eat them.” Rachel marches off with a smug look on her face, and I start gasping for breath, trying to stay in control. I hate cheese sandwiches. I hate cheese sandwiches. I HATE CHEESE—
“Here,” the girl sitting opposite says. “Swap?”
She pushes a couple of sandwiches wrapped in cling film across the table and picks up my cheese ones.
“What?” I was so ready for a big blow-up, it’s like having all the air sucked out of me.
“Do you want to swap sandwiches? I don’t mind cheese.”
The girl blinks at me through huge glasses that make her look like a mouse with space telescopes attached to her eyes. I unwrap her sandwiches and examine them suspiciously. They’re a bit squashed like they’ve been sitting at the bottom of her bag, but they’re definitely, unmistakeably and without a doubt, raspberry jam.
I smile at the girl so hard my mouth hurts.
I think I’ve just found my new best friend.
Miss Morrison comes marching over to find me filling my face with sandwich and looking up at her all inn
ocently and well behaved. She scowls, but I’m eating my lunch and she’s got no reason to shout at me, so she goes to give Rachel a row for wasting her time instead.
Ha! I win!
“I’m Paige,” the girl opposite says so quietly I almost don’t hear her. “Paige Munro?” It sounds like a question. I don’t know what the answer is.
Paige Munro is the one who gave Elin her book back in the playground at break. I don’t know why Elin didn’t want to talk to her. Paige Munro seems really nice.
“So…” I take a big bite of bread and jam and ask her the most important question in all the world. “Do you like the Transformers?”
19
Elin
“Elin! Jamie!” Mum called over the sound of Jamie’s clattering in the kitchen. “It’s family time. Come and play Monopoly.”
“Just a minute!” I called back. I had just finished colouring in the drawing of my dream castle cake. I might not be able to get riding lessons for my birthday, but I was determined to plan my party and my cake to perfection.
I put my felt tips down and trudged into the kitchen. I didn’t look forward to family time any more. At least when it was just me, Mum and Paul, we didn’t spend the whole time arguing. The last few weeks had been a nightmare. It didn’t matter how many sticker reward charts Mum put up on the wall, Jamie couldn’t even brush his teeth or get himself out of bed in the morning without a fight. There weren’t enough Transformers stickers in the whole universe to bribe the Monster into acting like a normal human being.
I stuck my birthday cake pictures on the fridge so Mum could see exactly how I wanted it to look, nearly getting hit on the head when Jamie opened the door yet again to reach in for even more jam and cream.
“Jamie! Use a plate, you’re making a mess!” I cried, watching in horror as he slapped two slices of bread down on the counter and began slathering big slabs of peanut butter across them.
“I’m so hungreee!” he sang. “I could eat a horse. Oh, don’t worry Elin, if you get one for your birthday I won’t eat it, cross-my-heart-hope-to-die I won’t.”
“Maybe if you’d just eaten your dinner tonight instead of arguing with Mum about it you wouldn’t be eating junk now,” I muttered.
Our kitchen had become a battle zone where Jamie had a meltdown if he didn’t get exactly what he wanted, when he wanted it. I was losing the war so badly he even had us eating dinner every night from his own specially selected menu of three meals. If I saw one more plate of sweet and sour chicken I was going to scream.
“I wasn’t hungry then, but now I am,” Jamie shrugged, scooping out half a jar of jam and piling it on top of the peanut butter mountain. “Hey! Do you want to try my Mad Jamie Specials?” he asked eagerly. “You haven’t had one yet. They’re the best thing ever. Dad totally loves them.”
“Jamie, that’s enough!” I snapped, wiping up the mess he was making with the whipped cream. “I’m so sick of cleaning up after you.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled through a mouthful of sandwich, dropping more on the floor.
I stomped into the living room to help Mum set the Monopoly board up, leaving Jamie to make a half-hearted attempt at mopping the cream up with his sleeve.
Mum and Paul both smiled at me while I set out the piles of bank notes and property cards, but both of them were faking. When Jamie came in covered in jam and cream and plonked himself down on the sofa, their smiles became even more strained. Paul glanced at Mum, scared she was going to blow up, but Mum frowned and held her tongue, trying to keep the peace.
It wouldn’t take much for them to start yelling at each other. I hated arguments, but if I wanted rid of Jamie, I had to stir things up so they couldn’t deny what a terrible idea it was for him to live with us.
I waited till Jamie had spent all of his money going round the board buying up everything in sight, then made sure I nudged the dice too close for him to be able to resist. He grabbed them and rolled straight away, his eyes lighting up when he saw where he’d landed.
“Jamie, it’s not your turn!” I told him, moving his Monopoly piece back to where it was supposed to be and handing the dice to Mum.
“Hey! I rolled a seven!” Jamie yelled. “I’m going to buy Mayfair.”
“No, you’re not. It’s Mum’s go, you need to wait.”
“But that’s not fair!”
“Jamie, stop being such a stupid baby!”
“I’m not a baby! Dad! Tell her to—”
“ENOUGH!” Paul brought his hand down so hard on the table the board rattled. “This is supposed to be fun family time, not feeding time at the zoo! Could you two please try to get along for just five minutes?”
“But he’s cheating!” I insisted.
“Elin, just drop it, OK? Look Jamie, here’s Mayfair, that’s four hundred you owe the bank.” Paul tried to smooth things over, but his fake smile was no match for Jamie’s real fury.
“I haven’t got four hundred! I need the money Elin owes me for rent from the last round.”
“I don’t owe you any rent, you missed it! It’s too late!”
I knew all of Jamie’s triggers by now. I knew exactly what set him off, and I made sure I pressed those buttons as hard as I could.
“If you can’t afford Mayfair then you’ll have to buy it another time.” I took the card off him and returned it to the bank. Then I sat back and waited for the fireworks display.
It took all of point five seconds for the rockets to go off.
“I HATE this game! It’s STUPID!”
Jamie jumped up, overturned the whole board and raced out of the room.
Mum finally opened her mouth, but the words that came out weren’t nice ones.
“That’s it! I’ve tried everything from reward charts to time out, but nothing’s working. Paul, he’s got to go on medication, it’s the only thing he hasn’t tried yet.”
“No way.” Paul threw the Monopoly board back in its box and crumpled all the money as he snatched it up off the floor. “That’s not happening. Jamie doesn’t need to be drugged. He’s not sick, Liz. There’s nothing wrong with him that can’t be fixed with a bit of—”
“Nothing wrong with him?” Mum looked like she was ready to explode. “He’s got ADHD, Paul! It’s not something you can just brush under the carpet. You can’t keep ignoring—”
“Elin, go to your room,” Paul interrupted, catching sight of me sitting there watching them argue.
“Why? What have I done wrong?” I cried, struggling to gulp back the growing anger before it could burst out. All the rage I’d been bottling up since Jamie arrived was bubbling up so fiercely inside me I felt like a volcano ready to erupt.
“Just do as you’re told, Elin,” Mum snapped.
“I always do as I’m told!” I protested, “and you just ignore me! Nobody asked if I wanted to share my house with that monster, you just moved him in! You never ask me what I want for dinner, or what I want to watch on TV or what I want to do at the weekend, you just ask Jamie! It’s not fair! Maybe if I acted crazy like him you’d pay me more attention!”
Where did that come from?
The lava had erupted from my mouth before I could stop it, and I could feel the angry words scorching my throat on their way out.
“Elin, that’s enough! Go to your room right now!” Paul shouted.
“You’re not my dad! You can’t tell me what to do!” I yelled back. My face was hot and my hands were balled up into fists, and before I knew it I was running to my room anyway to avoid crying in front of them.
I threw myself down on my bed and hid my face under my pillow. My whole body was shaking. I’d never felt so mad before, and it scared me. Was this how Jamie felt all of the time? No wonder he was always running away from people. I felt so ashamed at losing my temper I wanted to hide from the world.
What was happening to me? In the space of a few months I’d gone from the perfect daughter and student to a perfect mess. Jamie was ruining my reputation at school, and now he was
making it look like all the arguing at home was my fault too.
“What am I going to do, Athena?” I sniffed, holding on to my painted horse and stroking her nose. “I wish things could go back to the way they were before.”
For a moment, the little horse’s eyes seemed to be looking over my shoulder. I turned round, and there, pinned to the wall beside family photos, were more drawings of my fairy-tale castle cake. Hanging on the door of my wardrobe was the beautiful sequinned top Gran had given me to go with my party jeans, and sitting on the shelf was a gorgeous handbag Dad had sent in the post this morning. I brushed a tear from my eye before it could fall and gave Athena a watery smile.
“My birthday on Saturday’s going to fix a lot of things,” I told her. “Everything will get better after that.”
After my amazing party all the girls at school would like me and I’d have friends again like I used to. That would give me the courage to keep fighting the war.
All I had to do was be brave like the Perfect Princess in my story, and defeat the Monster. Mum would get sick of all the arguing and split up with Paul, and he and Jamie would have to leave. Once Paul was gone, Dad would come home to us. He’d start working again, and we’d have enough money to move back to Whitburn together. I’d get horse-riding lessons just like I was promised, and we’d live happily ever after, just like in my fairy tale.
I reached into my desk drawer, pulled out my story folder, and started writing.
The day of the party had arrived, and it was the most perfect birthday the kingdom had ever celebrated…
20
Jamie
I turn up the TV to drown out the sound of arguing and sit under the tent I’ve made from my quilt and chairs. Liz keeps dismantling it and making my bed, and I keep putting my tent right back up as soon as she’s done. She says this is my home now, but how can it be if I’m not even allowed to have my room the way I want it? Under here in the dark, reading comics by the light of my Transformers torch, is the only place in the world where I feel safe.
The Boy with the Butterfly Mind Page 8