POSSESSION

by Jaimie Roberts

  Grabbing Mandy, I take her in for a hug. “Thank you.”

  She strokes my back. “Don’t mention it.” She pulls away, grabbing my hands. “Don’t forget to call.”

  I nod. “I will.”

  “I’ll see you on Friday. I have to do the lunch and dinner shift tomorrow because Bob is short staffed.” She rolls her eyes, making me laugh. She’s been working full-time at a restaurant just until she starts college in September. I was so happy when I realised she would be going to the same college as I.

  “That sucks,” I say, genuinely feeling bad for her. I know how much one shift tires her out. I thought about getting myself a job too, but I’ve been too busy trying to heal myself. Now, with this extra news, I really don’t know what I’m going to do.

  “It does,” she sighs. “Listen, I’d better go. I hope you get the answers you’re looking for, but girl … don’t you let him into your knickers or I’ll hit you. Stay strong.”

  She fist pumps the air, making me laugh. “Okay. I think I can resist … especially under these circumstances.”

  I watch as she leaves and waves goodbye from the lift. I barely have five minutes to myself to think before the sound of the door knocking makes me jump. “Evelyn, it’s just me.”

  Running to the door, I take a peek inside the spy hole and see Drake with Kane behind him. I immediately open up, and when I do, my skin heats.

  Drake is casual today in a pair of loose jeans and a tight-fitting navy polo shirt. His hair is spiked up today, showing off his piercing brown eyes. He looks tired, but it certainly doesn’t hide the fact that he’s sexy as fuck.

  For a brief moment, I forget why he’s here. It’s like my woman parts have come alive … as if lust has suddenly clouded everything.

  So much for restraining myself.

  “Hi,” he says, his lip curving up into a heart-stopping smile. I’m not sure whether it’s because he’s pleased to see me or if it’s because he’s noticed my reaction to him. I’m guessing both. Drake always did have this uncanny knack for knowing exactly how I feel all of the time. But then he has had six years of studying everything about me.

  “Hi,” I say back, trying to snap myself out of this lust-filled haze. “Do you want to come in?” He nods and walks through, but Kane remains where he is standing. “Hi, Kane,” I say, smiling.

  “Hi, Evelyn. How are you?”

  “Hanging in there.” He gives me a knowing smile as I shut the door and walk back to the living area where Drake is standing and obviously drinking me in.

  “You look beautiful today.”

  I feel my face flush a little. “Thank you.”

  “What is it you wanted to see me about?”

  I motion to the sofa for him to sit. “Please, take a seat.” I wait until he’s seated before sitting next to him. When I get a whiff of his aftershave, I decide to move farther away from him. I’m already losing my concentration as it is without adding something else to the equation.

  Taking a deep breath, I wonder how to begin. I decide to get straight to the point. “I’m pregnant.”

  Drake frowns. “I know.”

  I shake my head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He looks confused. “I thought you already knew? The doctor came and examined you and everything. Did he not mention it then?”

  “He mentioned me having to come for a scan, but I thought he was being overly cautious because of you.” I close my eyes. “How far gone am I?” I can’t believe I’m asking Drake this.

  “You’re around ten weeks. That’s why you have to go for a scan in three weeks time. It’ll be the first scan of a few.”

  I shake my head, unable to take it all in. When Drake reaches forward to take my hand, I pull back. “Why?” I ask, surprising him.

  “Why what?”

  “Why did you do it? Why did you force me into having a baby with you?”

  Running his hands through his hair, he sighs. “I knew that if I got married to you, and you were carrying my child, then it would mean you were untouchable—safe. I was trying to prevent you from going through the one thing you did. I know it sounds fucked up, and I know I did wrong, but at the time, it seemed like the only way. There was that and the fact that having you bear my children would be just about the greatest gift I could ever imagine.”

  I briefly close my eyes. “Don’t you know how fucked up that sounds?”

  “Yes, but I’ve already told you that when it comes to you, there is nothing I would let get in the way. Not even you.”

  “I’m married to you and having your baby, and yet you’re just letting me go? I don’t understand it.”

  He shakes his head on a sigh. “I don’t fucking understand it either, but I know that’s what you’ve always wanted. The only thing I can’t abide is you not letting me be a big part of our child’s life. I admit that I’ll want to ask you to move back in once the baby’s due, but doing so at all would be completely up to you. If you do decide to come back, it will be completely on your terms, and it will last only as long as you wish. You can even live in your old room if that’s what you want. I’ll take anything I can get just to have you and the baby close to me for as long as possible.”

  I swallow hard, not able to comprehend everything he’s saying. “You’d do that?”

  Grabbing my hand, he moves closer to me. “I’d do anything for you. You know that.”

  He swipes his other hand over mine, gently gliding it across my skin. Heat prickles and descends to a certain part of my body. I don’t normally get so turned on just from hand holding.

  As he swipes his hand again, my lips part, and my breathing becomes heavier. Focus, goddammit. Focus!

  Standing, I start pacing the floor and wiping my brow. Drake immediately gets up and walks to me. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I reply, a little flustered. “I just feel a bit hot.”

  He places his hand on my forehead. “You feel cool enough.”

  My God, I wish he would stop touching me. I pull away from him again and sit down. “I’m fine. I just… I suppose it’s the pregnancy.”

  He sits down again, and this time, he’s closer than he was before. “Do you want me to ring Dr Philips and ask him to come and see you?”

  I shake my head. “No, it’s fine. I’m fine.” I see his concerned face, so smile. “Honestly, I am.” I sink back into my chair and sigh. “What am I doing? I don’t even know where to begin.”

  “Hey,” he says, cupping my chin. “Whatever happens, you’ll have me. You’ve always had me. That will never change. We can do this, and we’ll do it together. Every step of the way.”

  He locks me with those big brown eyes of his, and for that moment, I melt into him. Every touch he gives me is like a firework going off inside of me. Logical thought goes out the window, and everything I want to say and should say gets stuck in my mouth.

  Without thinking, I lean in to him, kissing him on the lips. When he doesn’t pull away, I straddle his lap, pulling his head towards me. I devour his mouth, and it makes the fires burn hotter than ever. If I don’t feel him inside me soon, I’m going to burst.

  As our tongues dance, I moan against his mouth and start frantically pulling his polo shirt up. I feel wanton. I feel crazy with lust. All I can think about now is how much I need to feel that connection we have. All I can remember is how good it feels to have him inside of me.

  But, as I start yanking at his top, Drake grabs my head. “Stop, Evelyn.”

  His words only seem to drive me forward. The more he protests, the more I want to push it. He grabs me again, but this time by my roving hands. “Evelyn, stop!” he growls.

  I do as asked, but feel confused and rejected. Drake breathes heavily against my own breaths as he leans his forehead against mine. I see the rise and fall of his chest. Closing his eyes, I see the strained frown on his forehead like he’s trying to calm himself.

  “I can’t do this with you.”

  “Why?” I ask breathle
ssly.

  “Because if I do, then I won’t hesitate to bring you home. If you do this with me, then that’s it. It’s your choice.”

  I close my eyes when I hear that word. My choice. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, but now that it’s here, I want to throw it out the window.

  He cups my face, making me look into his eyes. “I want you to want this one hundred percent. I don’t want fifty, sixty, or seventy percent of you. I want you all in. Do you understand?”

  I do … despite my loins screaming otherwise at me. In the end, I nod my head. “I understand.”

  Regretfully, I get off his lap and sit down. I move my hair out of my face and straighten my clothes. I’m trying to compose myself, but failing miserably. “Are you okay?” he asks.

  I look at him and nod my head. “I’m fine.” I clear my throat. “What about college?” I almost squeak.

  He frowns, leaning forward. I can tell he’s trying to hide his straining erection. It only makes my situation worse.

  “What about college?”

  “How will I fit the baby around my studying?”

  He smiles. “Well, that’s what you have me for. I know this wasn’t what you wanted, so I’m going to do everything it takes to make your life as simple as it can be.”

  I huff a little when he says this. My life is anything but simple. “You make it sound so easy.”

  “It’s as simple or as difficult as you want to make it. Just know that I will always be there. That’s one hundred percent guaranteed. Have I ever let you down on a promise before?”

  I think back to our complicated six years and shake my head. “No, you haven’t.”

  “Well then,” he says, taking my hand, “this baby’s not going to want for anything. You’re not going to want for anything. I promise you that too. You will get to go to college, study, and have this baby at the same time. Nothing about it has to be complicated. Nothing needs to get in the way. I’ll make sure of that.” I smile, and he smiles too, but then he looks away and notices the envelope on the coffee table. “Is that the—”

  “Yes,” I answer.

  He swallows hard. “Have you signed it?”

  I shake my head. “No.”

  He visibly sighs his relief. “Does that mean there’s still hope for us?”

  Closing my eyes, I swallow hard too. “I honestly don’t know. I just know that until I’m sure, I’m not going to sign anything.”

  He nods his head in resignation. “Okay,” he answers. “Just know that no matter what, I’m not going anywhere.”

  That thought never even crossed my mind.

  Present Day

  Another three weeks go by, and I use them to think harder than I ever have in my life. I still don’t know what I’m going to do, and the fact that Drake’s been nothing but sweet doesn’t help matters. Since our talk about the baby, I’ve been finding myself drawn to him more than ever. We text and call each other all the time. We’ve even been out to dinner together on occasion. It’s like it’s been a date, but without the kissing at the end of it. And, believe me, I want to kiss him so badly. Every time I’m with him, I feel like I’m this ball of hormonal mess. Like right now. Drake has taken me out for a meal again, and he’s looking as sexy as ever. He has a black suit on with his signature crisp white shirt. His hair is spiked up in the normal style I love to see, and as usual, it’s making his gorgeous brown eyes stand out even more. To top it off, he’s sporting a nice five o’clock shadow. I find myself fantasising about what it would be like to lick it if I had the chance. And boy do I want to have the chance! Ever since Drake told me that I can’t have sex with him until I become his again, all I’ve wanted to do is jump his bones. I think Mandy’s right. If he’s using reverse psychology, then it really is working.

  “Are you playing a shrewd game?” I know I need to ask this. If he is playing a game, then there’s no way he’ll admit to it, but at least I can gauge his reaction to my questioning.

  Drake frowns. “What do you mean?”

  “I just find it so hard. For years, you kept telling me that I was yours and no one—not even me—would get in your way. Now…” I sigh. “Now, you’re letting me live my own life, giving me a place to stay, and setting me up in college. It’s all I have ever asked, and it’s all that you’ve ever begrudged me. Why is it now—especially since I’m also pregnant with your baby—that you’re deciding to give me my free will back? You’ve even signed divorce papers.”

  “Have you signed them?” He looks worried for a moment.

  “No, but that’s not what I want to discuss right now.”

  “You think I’m playing a game?”

  “Yes. No. I don’t know. I just find it all hard to believe. Are you trying to make me fall in love with you or something? Did you think that by giving me everything I have ever wanted that you would end up having me to yourself again? To lock up—never to see the world?”

  “Number one, I would never lock you up.”

  “You did once I turned eighteen.”

  “Things were different then.”

  “How?”

  He sighs. “Because I knew Isaac was after you, and I knew why. He’s not an issue now. I’ve made sure of it. We once had an understanding, but I knew after what I did, he would never let it lie. He must have had the biggest hard-on when he found out about you.”

  It makes me shudder to think about that man. “I always thought that he was the main reason, but I also think there was another.”

  He frowns. “What?”

  “Control. You have a desperate need to control everything—including me.”

  “There’s no denying that.”

  “And yet, here we are. We’re married, I’m pregnant with your baby, and once we finish this meal, you will be going your way, and I will be going mine.”

  His jaw clenches. “You don’t need to remind me of that.”

  “Then, why do you do it?”

  “Because, contrary to what you believe, I am trying to be the man you want me to be. I’m trying to give you the breathing space you need in order to make your choice.”

  “And you will respect whatever that decision is?”

  “I won’t like one outcome, but yes, I will respect it.”

  “No kidnapping me and locking me in your room?”

  He shakes his head. “No. As much as I will want to, you have my word that I won’t.” I frown as if I don’t believe him. Drake notices. “I know I haven’t given you cause to trust me, but your safety and protection have always been my number one priority.”

  I take my time thinking on what he has just said. I don’t doubt that what he says is true. I do believe that he genuinely wanted to protect me. He just failed to protect me from himself.

  “But how do I know I’m safe around you?”

  Drake sighs, places his napkin on the table, and leans forward a little. “I have demons, Evelyn. There’s no denying that I do. There’s also no denying that I’ve done some unspeakable things. Things that I deeply regret. The way I handled the situation with you being one of them. I was brought up in a world where control was everything and weakness had to be eradicated. Weakness was and never can be allowed in my world.”

  “Aren’t you worried about what people may think of our current situation?”

  “To be honest, nobody really knows. The only people who do are a couple of trustworthy guards and the security at your apartment. They get paid handsomely for their discretion.”

  “Mandy knows, but I trust her to not say or do anything that might put me in danger.” Even as I say the words, I wonder which of us I am trying to reassure more.

  I know he’s trying to contain the situation, and knowing that I’m not his must be driving him crazy. A part of me wants to believe everything he says as he may be able to silence everyone, but he can’t silence me. I could easily tell everyone where we live about our situation, but the fact that I don’t want Drake to look or seem weak is what will hold me back.

&n
bsp; It’s a strange situation—wanting to protect the man who put me in harm’s way. He may have been my protector, but he was also someone from whom I needed protection. I know he had his reasons for doing all the things he did. I know that he wanted to be my first because he knew some other random scumbag would pay a fortune to be otherwise. I know he forced me to marry and become pregnant in order for me to become untouchable.

  But now I find myself in this strange and fucked up situation. Could I ever forgive a man who took from me without asking? Drake has been my world since I was twelve-years-old. I know now that he came into my life to protect me from my parents and the disgusting people whose company they kept. I’m no stranger to the types of people they mixed with. I was an inconvenience to them, but at the same time, I was also their path to infinite wealth. It disgusts me to think that they’re now living a life of luxury without a care in the world for their only daughter. I bet as their days go by, not a thought about me enters their heads. I’m probably just a distant memory to them now.

  And I hate every single bone in their bodies.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  Shifting in my seat, I look up at Drake. “I was just thinking about my parents.”

  Drake looks disgusted. “Why the fuck would you want to think about them?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. I know they’re not thinking about me.”

  “They aren’t worthy of your thoughts. They are not and never were worthy of you.”

  “Then, why did you associate with them?”

  “Because I have a lot of business ventures, and I was told that your father’s expertise in the field of law was second to none. He’s a ruthless lawyer. I will give him that. He’s just a fucking scumbag.”

  “Is he still your lawyer?”

  “All ties were cut the moment you turned eighteen. After meeting you and knowing how they treated you, my interests changed. My only goal was to make sure you had a proper upbringing.”

  “Why me? Why not someone else?”

  Drake smiles. “Because I could see the innocence in you. Despite the fact that your parents were despicable people, I could tell that their influence hadn’t rubbed off on you. I wanted to keep it that way. One look from you, and I knew I had to protect you. I saw something in you—something that told me you were just as invested in me as I was in you. I knew by the way you looked at me. It was almost as if your eyes were pleading with me to help you. How could I not have answered your call?”