Onwards Flows the River

by Caroline Windsor

  Laughing, Jo gave up the struggle to open the package without tearing the paper and gave it a loud rip.

  “Oh, how lovely!” Clearly, she was overcome.

  “Come on, Jo, you’re not allowed to cry on your birthday. Besides, it’s just a pen and pencil set!”

  “No, it’s not. It’s not just a pen and pencil set. It’s something I’ve never had and always wanted.”

  Kate noted the tremble in Jo’s voice.

  “They’ve got your initials on so there’s no excuse for residents to keep going off with them,” Hannah explained. “And we chose black because we weren’t sure what your favourite colour was.”

  “You guessed right.” Jo’s smile was tinged with irony. “Black has the advantage of being suitable for christenings, funerals and all occasions in between. Seriously though, I’m really grateful. If that pen doesn’t make my essays flow, nothing will.”

  “I hope this will help too.” Kate passed her an envelope. “It’s nothing very imaginative I’m afraid, but we thought it might come in handy if you need some books for your course work.”

  The book token which Jo extracted from the envelope rendered her momentarily speechless. It would pay for at least three of the books recommended for her A level work and for which she had so far been dependent on the local library. But it wasn’t just the munificence of the gifts which stunned her, it was the fact that they had obviously been chosen with such careful regard for her circumstances.

  “I can’t thank you enough – it’s really thoughtful of you both.”

  Kate detected a distinct tremor in Jo’s voice.

  “That’s us!” Hannah told her brightly. “Kind, thoughtful and generous to a fault. The fact that we’re also a pair of boozy, drug-ridden frustrated virgins is neither here nor there!”

  Kate caught sight of the scandalised expression on the woman at the adjoining table and suppressed a giggle. She was beginning to feel pleasantly mellow, having shared with Hannah the best part of a bottle of wine. The discovery that Jo was teetotal had been a surprise to both of them.

  Jo laid down her knife and fork. “That was the best meal I’ve had in ages. This restaurant’s a real find.”

  “Just wait till you see the desserts.” Hannah scanned the menu greedily. “The tiramisu looks fantastic.”

  “A black coffee is all I could manage, I’m afraid. That pasta’s done for me.”

  Kate saw the disappointment on Hannah’s face. “Two tiramisu and one black coffee, please,” she told the waiter.

  Hannah gave her a grateful smile. “Thanks... I won’t feel so guilty now.” Her inability to say no to even the most tedious of desserts led to a constant battle with her weight.

  “Talking about guilt...” Jo frowned at her serviette which she was busy pleating into a fan. “I’m sorry if I seemed to be making rather a fuss the other night... about Kate, I mean.”

  Hannah shrugged. “You were right to, if you really thought it was dangerous to leave her alone.”

  “I know you felt I was overreacting – and I thought I owed you an explanation. It was just that it brought back all the memories of what I’d gone through with Mum. I couldn’t risk it happening again.”

  Kate and Hannah watched her in silence.

  Jo kept her eyes on the serviette. “She killed herself, you see. It was an overdose, but I didn’t realise how many tablets she’d taken, so I never called an ambulance. If I had, she might still be alive.”

  Kate was stricken. “I’m so sorry to have put you through all that again... it simply never occurred to me.”

  “No reason it should.” Jo gave her a reassuring smile. “I just wanted to explain why I might have overreacted.” She glanced at Hannah. “It was Dad who drove her to it you see... out on the booze night after night, coming home drunk, ready to pick a fight. Which also explains why I didn’t have much patience with you when you were out on the razzle – and why I never touch the stuff myself.” She sipped her orange juice thoughtfully. “No one else knows, by the way, except Esme, so I’d be grateful if you’d keep it to yourselves.”

  “Of course.” Kate reached out and covered Jo’s hand with hers. “I’m glad you felt able to tell us.”

  Jo nodded. “I’ll tell you the whole story one day. But not now – I don’t want to ruin a wonderful evening.”

  They sat in companionable silence for a few moments.

  Jo watched the waiter weaving expertly between the crowded tables. “I think your tiramisu is about to arrive.”

  “A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips,” Hannah murmured as the plate was set in front of her.

  “Forget the guilt trip – just enjoy it,” Jo advised.

  “I’d like to propose a toast.” Kate raised her glass. “Here’s to Harrison House, and above all to its excellent deputy warden, for whose discretion both Hannah and I will be eternally grateful.”

  Jo laughed as their glasses clinked. “I didn’t think Hannah was particularly enamoured with life at the hostel. Her observations on the place when drunk don’t bear repeating!”

  Hannah blushed. “It’s true I originally wanted to share a flat when I came to London, but I’ve changed my mind. It’s good to have the hostel with all its various goings-on to come home to every night.”

  “I’m glad you feel that way.” Jo looked genuinely pleased. “It’d be awful to have to spend three years living in a place you hated. And even if doing voluntary work isn’t exactly your idea of a good time, at least you’ve proved you can do it successfully.”

  Hannah sighed. “It just seems a bit sad that the only man in my life is an eighty-five-year-old greyhound fanatic.”

  “What do you mean – the only man in your life!” Kate was indignant. “They don’t come much better than Daniel and you’ve been going out with him for years.”

  “Oh, Daniel.” Hannah was dismissive. “He doesn’t really count. He just wants to be a friend rather than a proper boyfriend.”

  “You mean he doesn’t want to get you pregnant and ruin your chances of getting a degree?” Jo could tell from Hannah’s heightened colour that her tart observation wasn’t far off the mark.

  “There’s no need to get pregnant these days – it is the 1970s after all!”

  “Plenty do, nevertheless. Nothing’s foolproof. Perhaps you should be grateful to have someone who cares enough for you to put your needs before his own.”

  “That’s just what I’m always telling her.” Kate felt her usual exasperation at Hannah’s obtuseness.

  “Stop ganging up on me!” Hannah cast around in her mind for a less contentious topic of conversation. “Christmas will be here soon – what are you both doing?”

  Kate groaned. “I expect my aunt and Jeremy will want me to spend it with them. I mean, they’re really kind and everything, but their idea of a good time is a glass of over-sweet sherry around the plastic Christmas tree. The bonhomie is about as artificial as the decorations.”

  Jo was silent for a moment.

  “I’m not really sure what I’ll be doing,” she said eventually. “Maybe Esme won’t mind if I have Beth to stay at Harrison House for a few days. I don’t care much about Christmas myself, but I can’t bear the thought of her having to spend it in the children’s home.”

  Hannah laid down her spoon. “I’ve just had the most brilliant idea! Mother said that if I wanted to bring any friends down to Devon we could all stay at Cockle Cottage. There’s three bedrooms and two of them have got twin beds, so you could share with Beth if you wanted.” Her eyes shone with enthusiasm.

  Jo was hesitant. “Where’s Cockle Cottage? Is that where your parents live?”

  Hannah shook her head. “It’s a cottage which was left to them by some aged aunt umpteen years ago and they couldn’t bear to sell it. They sometimes spend weekends
there and they use it for holidays for people who need somewhere to stay. My parents actually live in Westermouth – about half an hour’s drive away from Cocklecombe.”

  “You’d love it, Jo.” The mere mention of the word ‘Cocklecombe’ made Kate’s heart sing with joy. “The cottage is right on the river and there are the most wonderful walks out along the estuary and up on the cliffs. It’s the most magical place you could possibly imagine in which to spend Christmas.”

  “Beth loves wild places,” Jo said quietly. “I think her idea of paradise would be a small house in a field of wild flowers overlooking the sea.”

  “Then it’s settled,” Hannah declared triumphantly. “Cockle Cottage for Christmas it is. And, just to reassure you, even though most Quakers don’t celebrate Christmas, my parents always made it a special time for Aidan and me when we were growing up – and this year, with three more friends to join in the festivities, I’m sure it’ll be even better than usual.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Winter 1971

  “I’ve got the job!” Kate burst into the kitchen at Harrison House, flung her arms around Hannah and gave her an exuberant hug. “No more temping for me – as of today I’m the permanent receptionist at The Willows.”

  “Brilliant! I thought you’d given up hope after that business with the key.”

  “I had – but the interview went really well and John Fielding didn’t even mention it. I think Dr Beecham’s reference gave me a head start over the other applicants, which obviously helped.”

  Hannah clapped her on the shoulder. “I’m so glad... it was just the Christmas present you wanted, wasn’t it? Next stop medical secretary!”

  Kate laughed. “One step at a time, I think. I won’t hear how I’ve done in my typing exam until the new year, but even if I’ve done OK I’d still want to stay on as receptionist for six months or a year. Too many job changes give a bad impression on your CV.”

  Hannah smiled. “It’s good to see you looking so happy – you’ve had a hard time of it recently.”

  “Spending Christmas in Cocklecombe will make me even happier. I just can’t wait to see your family again.” Aidan’s face with its aquiline nose, grey-green eyes and the lock of auburn hair which always fell across his forehead, came unbidden to her mind and she felt her pulse quicken. She flung her arms around her friend. “I’ve a feeling this is going to be the best Christmas ever!”

  o0o

  “It’s just as well my father had the foresight to fit a roof-rack on Sooty.” Kate wrestled the third suitcase into place and fastened the strap. “Morris Minors aren’t exactly the roomiest of cars.”

  Jo, who had just reorganised the contents of the boot for the third time, slammed it shut with satisfaction. “I’ve managed to squeeze all our presents in here – and there’ll just be room for Beth’s suitcase too.”

  “You’re absolutely brilliant!” Hannah emerged from Harrison House bearing a bulging carrier bag. “I’ll keep this on the floor beside me so our lunch doesn’t get squashed.”

  “So you can have a nibble when you want it, you mean.” Jo took the bag from her, opened the boot and stowed it carefully away.

  Hannah looked pained. “I hope you’re not going to be all nasty and cynical right through the Christmas holiday.”

  “Only as the need arises.” Jo gave her a wry grin. “Esme told me to be sure to keep an eye on you.” She hoisted the front seat forward and slid into the back.

  “Are you sure you’ll be OK there?” Kate peered anxiously through the window. “Maybe you and Hannah could take it in turns. I know it’s a bit cramped in the back – and London to Devon isn’t exactly a short journey.”

  “I’ll be fine. My legs are a lot shorter than Hannah’s, and I think it’s best if I sit with Beth. She’s very shy, especially with people she doesn’t know.”

  “Thirteen isn’t the easiest of ages – hovering between childhood and adolescence.” Kate switched on the ignition and the engine roared into life.

  Hannah slammed the passenger door shut. “Not to mention all those raging hormones!”

  Kate gave a derisory snort. “Your hormones have been raging ever since I’ve known you – I can’t think how Daniel puts up with it.” Pausing at the junction she turned left out of the square to join the stream of traffic heading out of London.

  Jo leaned forward. “So, tell me, what is he like, this boyfriend of yours, who doesn’t mind you flirting wildly with half the student population of London?”

  “Daniel?” Hannah considered for a moment. “Well, he’s my brother Aidan’s closest friend – has been since they were at school – which is how I met him, of course. He’s five years older than me – and he’s just always been around... I don’t really think of him as a boyfriend, though we do go out together a lot I suppose.”

  “You know perfectly well he adores you,” Kate interrupted impatiently. “You just like to pretend you don’t think of him as a boyfriend so you’ve still got carte blanche to go out with other men.”

  “We’re not engaged or anything – why shouldn’t I see other men if I want to? I’ve never tried to stop him seeing other women.”

  “Only because you know very well he doesn’t want to.”

  “You’re getting more cynical by the day, Kate Deveraux. And you always used to be such an innocent soul.”

  “Years of friendship with you put paid to that.” Kate swerved to avoid an erratic cyclist and changed down into third gear. She leaned back slightly so that Jo could hear her more clearly. “I’ll tell you what Daniel’s like, since Hannah never seems to do him justice. He’s one of the kindest, most solid sort of men you could hope to meet. Solid in build as well as character actually – real rugby-type if you know what I mean – though he’s a great music-lover too. He’s got dark brown wavy hair and one of those all-year-round suntans which make you want to spit. Apart from that he’s dependable, generous, loyal and he’s got a lovely sense of humour. I think that about sums him up.”

  “Remind me to ask you if he ever needs a reference.” Hannah peeled open a bag of mint imperials and passed them round. “No doubt you’d give my beloved brother an even better testimonial.”

  “As good a one certainly.” Kate forced herself to sound casual. She flashed a quick smile at Jo. “I’m sure you’ll find both of them really easy to get on with. Considering he’s had to put up with having Hannah as a sister for the past eighteen years, Aidan’s remarkably sane.”

  “You don’t see the way he treats me sometimes,” Hannah crunched her mint viciously. “He can be incredibly high-handed and overbearing when he wants.”

  Kate, who had witnessed more than one tussle between Hannah and her brother over the years, suppressed a smile. “Only when he thinks you’re being stupid or irresponsible. I mean, your mother’s such a gentle soul she’d let you get away with murder, and your father’s often away at various conferences and Quaker meetings and so on. It’s just as well Aidan does take it upon himself to keep an eye on you.”

  Jo grunted. “So he’s the one who puts you to bed when you get drunk in Devon, is he?”

  “No, he isn’t! I never got drunk before I came to London – and don’t you dare tell him... I’d never hear the end of it.”

  Jo laughed at Hannah’s panic-stricken face. “You’re obviously scared to death of him – that much is obvious!”

  “Scared? Of course I’m not scared of him – he’s only my brother.” Hannah popped another mint into her mouth. “Though I warn you now, he has got the most appalling temper on occasions.”

  Kate laughed. “Don’t worry, Jo. I’ve known Aidan for seven years and I’ve never seen him lose his temper with anyone except Hannah – and only then when she’s deserved it.”

  “I can sympathise with him there.”

  “Honestly, I can’t imagine what possessed
me to invite you two down to Cocklecombe. I’m not going to have much of a Christmas what with you and Aidan going on at me all the time.”

  “They only do it to annoy because they know it teases...” Kate gave her an affectionate glance. “Though if you really want to keep us sweet, it’d help if you passed those mints around again!”

  As the suburbs of London gave way to the green fields and wooded slopes of the North Downs, they fell silent. Hannah contemplated her forthcoming reunion with Daniel. How much would he want to know about her new life in London? And, more to the point, how much should she tell him? Whilst she had no intention of lying in response to a direct question, she fully intended being as vague as possible. And if he got the impression that her life at college was one mad social whirl, then so much the better. A little jealousy on Daniel’s part might add some spice to their relationship; sometimes she felt that he had taken her for granted for far too long. She thought of the callow, spotty youths with whom she had been spending so much time at the pub and repressed a shudder. They were friendly enough, but, obsessed with beer and politics as they were, she had little in common with them. Perhaps Daniel had spoilt her for other men – good-looking, mature, self-confident – a man who knew who he was and where he was going.

  She sighed. It was little wonder she now found men of her own age shallow and boring. Yet, disappointing though her first term at college had been in this respect, she was determined to retain some glimmer of hope for the future. The students might have proved a dead loss, but maybe next term one of the lecturers would fall madly in love with her. With that pleasant thought she closed her eyes and drifted into fantasy-land.

  Kate’s defence of Aidan had brought him all too vividly to mind. They hadn’t met since she had left school in the summer and she ached to see him. Taller and less stocky than Daniel, he had an energy and vitality which she found infinitely appealing. Whenever she pictured him – and she frequently did – he was striding along the riverbank, auburn head thrown back, wearing his habitual corduroy trousers and shabby jumper. Ever since she had first clapped eyes on him, at the age of twelve, she had longed for him to notice her. Then, of course, he had been seventeen, and she was just a schoolfriend of Hannah’s whose frequent visits to Devon had made her a part of the family. She could never remember him being anything other than friendly and considerate, but not once had he given any indication that he would like to get to know her better. Maybe he was reluctant to risk spoiling her friendship with Hannah or perhaps he had just discounted her because she was still at school. She knew that he was emotionally unattached; according to Hannah, he had gone out with a number of women over the years, without there ever being anyone special. But now things were different. She was no longer a schoolgirl, but an adult, with a responsible job and a flat of her own. And in her suitcase, strapped to Sooty’s roof-rack, were a selection of her most attractive clothes which she hoped would help to make that point. This Christmas, God willing, Aidan would come to look at her in a very different light.