Onwards Flows the River

by Caroline Windsor

  “He doesn’t know, does he?”

  “That you’re attracted to him?”

  Kate nodded.

  “No, I’m sure he doesn’t. You know men – they’re not exactly quick on the uptake as far as picking up on feelings is concerned.”

  Kate managed a weak smile.

  “How long have you known?”

  Mary smiled. “Ever since the first time you stayed here. There was just something in the way you looked at him – nothing obvious, just that your eyes sometimes lingered a little longer on him than on anyone else.”

  “I feel really embarrassed – you must have thought I was awful.”

  “Not at all, why should I? Aidan’s my son, after all. Naturally I was glad that you found him attractive. I always hoped, that in time, something might come of it. Though I have to say, he’s not always the easiest of men.”

  “I hoped so too.” Kate’s voice was scarcely more than a whisper. “But he never seems to notice me – except as a friend of Hannah’s who’s always been around. He’s certainly never given any indication that he feels attracted to me.”

  “If he was, I think he’d probably hesitate before showing it. He’d be afraid of spoiling your friendship with Hannah.”

  “That’s what I thought at first. But now we’ve left school and grown up and everything, I hoped he might look at me differently.”

  “So, this Christmas was something of a test for you, was it?”

  Kate nodded. “And all that’s happened is that Aidan’s met Jo and seems to be besotted by her and I’ve made a fool of myself.” She gave another heaving gulp and blew her nose vigorously.

  “Jo? Oh, surely not.” Mary looked genuinely surprised.

  “It surprised me too – I mean, she didn’t seem to be his type at all, what with her being an atheist and everything. But I’m sure I’m right.”

  “An atheist, is she?” Mary looked thoughtful. “Of course, Aidan’s always been one for a challenge.”

  “So, you think that’s it?”

  “Well, it might be. He’s had quite a few girlfriends on and off over the years, naturally. But none of them has lasted for very long, certainly not long enough to become really serious. Sometimes I think he finds it too easy to attract them. Maybe he’d prefer to have to win them over.”

  “So he’s never mentioned me at all?”

  Mary smiled. “He never mentions any of them, dear. You know how Aidan guards his privacy. And, as his mother, I’m sure I’d be the last person he’d want to confide in about a girl... he’d be more likely to tell Daniel.”

  Suddenly Kate remembered that it was Christmas Day and that she was meant to be helping rather than hindering her hostess in preparing the lunch. She wiped her eyes, blew her nose again and pinned a smile on her face.

  “Well, if I’m not Aidan’s type, then it’s just too bad. At least Hannah’s my best friend and you and George are closer to me than my own parents ever were. Three out of the four of you can’t be bad!”

  o0o

  Jo’s feet were freezing and she longed to be back indoors, stretching them out beside that wonderful log fire. There seemed, however, little prospect of dragging Beth away from the confounded donkeys – one of whom, Hunky, she thought it was – had seemingly sensed her reluctance to make a fuss of him and given her a painful nip on the arm. She sighed as Aidan took a piece of carrot out of his pocket and handed it to her sister.

  “Hold it out, so, on the flat of your hand, with your palm extended.” He demonstrated and Dory wasted no time in relieving him of the carrot.

  Tentatively Beth held out her hand, laughing as Hunky’s rough tongue rasped over her soft skin.

  “It tickles, doesn’t it?” He handed her another carrot. “That’s it – I can see you’ve got a way with animals.” He glanced at Jo. “Care to join in?”

  Jo shook her head. “If anything, I’m worse with animals than people. I’d probably get my arm amputated at the wrist.” She noticed the flicker of irritation which crossed his face and suppressed a smile. If he thought he could win her over by being kind to Beth then he could think again. Her sister, she could see, was completely infatuated with him, which was, she comforted herself, entirely natural at her age.

  Beth took another carrot from Aidan, broke it in two and held out a piece in each palm. Hunky and Dory gave a simultaneous greedy swoop and she laughed delightedly.

  “I think this is the happiest day of my life.” She turned to Jo and gave her a huge smile.

  Jo felt an unaccustomed pricking at the back of her eyes. Beth had little enough pleasure in her life; she had no right to spoil it for her. She smiled back, but Beth was already eagerly proffering another carrot. Over the girl’s head Aidan met her eye and winked. Damn it – he had thought she was smiling at him. Now he would really think she was playing hard to get.

  “Shall we walk on, Beth? It’s getting cold out here.”

  “Just a little bit longer, pleeeeeeease.”

  “Then I’ll walk on back towards the house and you two catch me up when you’re ready.” Turning her back on them she set off at a brisk pace. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Hannah and Daniel making for the old summer house at the edge of the wood. Off for a bit of nooky, no doubt, if Hannah had anything to do with it. Sometimes she wondered how Hannah had managed to get to the age of eighteen without getting pregnant. As for Daniel, why he didn’t take what was being offered to him on a plate and screw the life out of her she couldn’t imagine. It didn’t take a Freudian analyst to realise that she was itching for it.

  “You seem happier today.”

  Lost in thought, Aidan’s voice made her jump. She glanced over her shoulder to see Beth still lost in pleasurable communion with the donkeys.

  “Happier than what?” She found it hard to keep the irritation out of her voice.

  His eyes narrowed slightly. “Happier than last night for example.”

  She shrugged. “Seeing Beth enjoy herself always makes me happy.”

  “So, you’re only ever happy by proxy, never on your own account?”

  She ignored his sarcasm and increased her pace.

  “Black suits you, you know.”

  “Just as well – it’s all I ever wear.”

  “So I’ve noticed. Is it by way of a fashion statement or merely an indication of mood?”

  “It’s an indication of poverty and lack of time. Wearing black means that I don’t have to keep worrying about which items in my wardrobe go with what and I don’t waste money on clothes that I can’t afford.”

  “You seem to have invented a style and made it your own.”

  She rounded on him impatiently. “That’s nonsense! Believe me, if I had the money I’d dress in all the colours of the rainbow.”

  She saw his eyebrows shoot up and cursed silently. What was it about him that irritated her so? She should be flattered that he fancied her, rather than Kate who was so obviously smitten with him. He was attractive, well-heeled and intelligent. Not emotionally intelligent perhaps, but then she’d never met a man who was.

  She cleared her throat and tried to put a friendlier expression on her face. Really, she had no right to be rude to this man – he and his family were doing their best to make this a really happy Christmas. Perhaps, instead of being sharp with him, she should take advantage of his infatuation and try to steer him in a more rewarding direction.

  “Kate looks gorgeous in that dress, doesn’t she?”

  “Kate?” He looked at her, startled. “Oh, Kate. Yes, yes, I suppose she does. A bit impractical for the countryside though.”

  “Perhaps she didn’t expect to have to traipse through muddy meadows. It is Christmas Day, after all.”

  He ignored the tartness in her tone. “She should have expected it – she’s been comi
ng to Downlands for years. She knows we never stand on ceremony here.”

  Jo took a deep breath and tried again.

  “I know she loves it here. She much prefers Devon to London.”

  “Who doesn’t? Most people would rather live in a place like this, with all the rivers, the moors and the sea. There aren’t many who’d live in a grimy city through choice.”

  His arrogance astounded her. “Well I would, for one. I happen to love city life. There are theatres, cinemas, galleries – all the cultural facilities one could wish for. I’d choose the grimy streets of London over the cow pats of rural England any day.”

  He burst out laughing. “You really are quite the prickliest woman I’ve ever met. It’s like trying to have a conversation with a porcupine.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Look at Beth. Now there’s a girl who really appreciates the countryside.”

  Jo turned around. The sight of her younger sister totally engrossed in her new friendship with the donkeys to the exclusion of everything else, made her smile despite herself.

  “You’ve made a conquest there all right. But just because we’re sisters doesn’t mean that Beth and I agree about everything. We may be close, but in many ways, we’re complete opposites.”

  “I know she’s young, but she’s such a gentle soul. It makes her seem so vulnerable somehow.”

  “Whereas I...”

  “You? You seem about as vulnerable as an armoured tank.” It was said jokingly, but Jo detected a tinge of bitterness. “And now I’d better go and fetch the vulnerable one – or she’ll miss her Christmas lunch.”

  o0o

  Hannah slipped her arm through Daniel’s and glanced over her shoulder. The others were still some way behind, admiring the winter jasmine which provided, as always, a splash of summer sunshine in the darkness of December. She quickened her pace a little. If she played her cards right she and Daniel could enjoy some time to themselves down in the summer house. There was, she had made sure on her last visit there, an old mattress, a rug and a couple of cushions tucked away in a corner of which she fully intended to make good use. Daniel could say what he liked but she had absolutely no intention of giving up her efforts to seduce him. She remembered, with a tingle of pleasure, how willingly his body had responded to hers as they stood beside the river the previous evening. She knew he wanted her – all she had to do was wait for the right moment. It was only a matter of time before he succumbed.

  “What’s the hurry?”

  “Who’s hurrying?”

  “You are – you’ve almost broken into a gallop.” Daniel stopped abruptly. “We should wait for the others – it looks rude to go off by ourselves.”

  “Rubbish! Aidan’s giving them his botanical tour of the garden – I bet they haven’t even noticed we’ve gone on ahead.”

  “Well, slow down then – we’ve got plenty of time.”

  Hunky and Dory wandered over to greet them but, realising that no food was on offer, tossed their brown heads in disdain and meandered off again.

  “I haven’t got anything to interest them, I’m afraid. Aidan’s got the carrots in his pocket. There’s no point in us hanging around here; we may as well stroll on down to the woods.”

  Daniel turned, but the others were still a long way behind.

  “All right – we’ll come back and catch up with them again a bit later.”

  Not if I’ve got anything to do with it, thought Hannah, as they set off down the path towards the woods. For a moment she visualised the pair of them, their bodies passionately entwined, on the mattress in the summer house. It was such a romantic setting – and the threat, however remote, of being discovered in flagrante delicto added a delicious frisson of danger to the whole proceedings. Their relationship, she reflected, had largely been conducted in the vertical plane – standing, sitting or walking. If she could only get him into a horizontal position she was sure he would be powerless to resist her. A shiver of anticipation ran down her spine.

  “Cold?” Daniel put an arm around her shoulders.

  “A bit.” She slid her arm around his waist. “Would you mind if we went and sat in the summer house for a few minutes to warm up?”

  He gave her a sidelong look but her expression was entirely innocent.

  “Fine with me.”

  A few snowdrops were already pushing their way through the fallen leaves beside the path to the summer house. Daniel pushed open the door.

  Hannah looked round in disbelief. The mattress had gone, so too had the rug. Only the two cushions remained, sitting staidly side by side on the wooden bench.

  “Cushions – excellent!” Daniel gave them a thump and sat down. “I wonder who had the bright idea of putting them here. This bench isn’t the most comfortable of seats.”

  Hannah subsided on to her cushion in a sulky silence. There was absolutely no point in her trying to lead Daniel astray now. The end result would probably be an undignified and uncomfortable scrabbling on the floor followed by a first-class row.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing.”

  “You were perfectly all right just now. Something must have happened to put that gloomy expression on your face.”

  “It’s nothing important... just forget it.”

  “Fine. Actually I’m glad to have you to myself for a few minutes. I was hoping I could give you my Christmas present when we were alone. Maybe this’ll cheer you up.”

  Out of his pocket he drew a small square box wrapped in scarlet tissue paper, decorated with a small silver bow. Hannah’s heart soared once again. With a box of that shape, it could mean only one thing. Daniel had bought her a ring. He had decided he couldn’t manage without her any longer. He wanted to marry her. They were going to get engaged. Now they could have wild, passionate and entirely legitimate sex as often as they wanted.

  “Oh Daniel.” She looked at him, dewy-eyed.

  He smiled. “Go on, open it.”

  She tore off the wrapping and lifted the lid of the box. A tiny pair of emerald earrings nestled against a black velvet background.

  “Oh.”

  “I hope you like them – the colour almost matches your eyes. I couldn’t resist them when I saw them in the shop.”

  “They’re lovely.”

  “If you don’t like them I can take them back and we can choose something else.”

  “No,” Hannah tried to inject some enthusiasm into her voice. “They’re fine. Thank you very much.” She put the lid back on the box and slipped it into her pocket.

  “Aren’t you going to put them on? They’d look lovely with that blouse.”

  “Not at the moment. Later perhaps.” Hannah stood up. “We’d better get back to the others, I suppose.”

  They walked in silence up the winding path. Suddenly Daniel stopped. “I know what’s wrong. You thought it was a ring, didn’t you? You thought I was going to propose to you.” His eyes searched hers and she felt a warm flush spread over her cheeks.

  “A ring?” She laughed scornfully. “Of course not. I’d hardly be likely to expect a ring after what you said to me last night. It’d be the last thing I expected – or wanted for that matter. Why would I want to tie myself down when I’ve only just started college?”

  “My sentiments exactly. Nevertheless, I think it’s what you hoped for. It’s the only reason I can come up with to account for your obvious disappointment.”

  It was no good. He had always been able to read her like a book ever since she was a child. Frustration and resentment welled up inside her.

  “I love the earrings – I didn’t want a ring. Can you just get that into your thick head and shut up about it?”

  “And a very happy Christmas to you too!” Aidan’s tall figure appeared around the corner. “I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but
Mother said lunch is almost ready, so I came to find you.”

  “Thanks.”

  Aidan fell in beside them and they walked in silence up the grassy path towards the meadow. Suddenly he turned to them.

  “It’s a strange thing, you know. I was down in the summer house yesterday – hadn’t been there for months – and someone had put a mattress, a rug and a couple of cushions there. I can’t imagine why, can you?”

  Hannah met his eye and turned scarlet. She glanced at Daniel. He, too, was looking at her with suspicion emanating from every pore.

  “That’s right – blame me. That’s just typical of you. I can’t do a thing without being criticised.” She flounced off up the garden.

  o0o

  Aidan scrunched up his napkin and leaned back in his chair.

  “Well, I must say, Mother, I think that dinner surpassed even your usual culinary triumphs.”

  “It was a wonderful meal, Mary. I’d love to be able to cook like that.”

  Mary laughed. “Give it time, Jo. I’ve been doing it for thirty years longer than you, don’t forget.”

  Aidan glanced at his sister. True to form, she had finished everything that was on her plate, but had, most uncharacteristically, refused a second helping. Every time he caught her eye, she glared at him. He had no regrets at foiling her little plan – he’d known as soon as he’d seen the rug and mattress exactly who had put them there and with what end in mind. Poor Daniel. The last thing he needed was another pregnant girlfriend. Why couldn’t he have fallen for some nice, kind, normal type of girl – rather than his moody, tempestuous, wilful sister. She had plenty of good points, he was willing to admit, but he pitied the man who married her. If he wasn’t strong enough to stand up to her, she’d lead him a dog’s life. Daniel, he estimated, probably was strong enough, but he’d have to work at it and, more importantly, he’d have to keep one step ahead of her.

  Next to his sister sat Kate. She, too, looked rather subdued and there was a slight puffiness around her eyes as if she had been crying. Maybe she was suffering from pre-menstrual tension – he’d heard it could make women moody. Hannah, however, had always been moody, whatever time of the month it was. He frowned. Women – would he ever understand them?