by Kahlen Aymes
I kicked off my black dress shoes, threw off my jacket, and unbuttoned my shirt before sliding onto the bed beside her. She smelled of soap, perfume and Brook. I cradled my head in one folded arm then reached out to her with the other.
I almost fucked up big time today, but here she was; warm and with me.
Totally mine. Still.
I bent my head to breathe in her familiar scent and place my open mouth on her shoulder in a seductive kiss. I wanted to make the pain of the last twenty-four hours up to her in the most reverent and clear way. My mouth lifted just enough to ghost over her skin as my hand ran down her back, sliding below the sheet. Her skin felt like warm silk, and was completely bare under my hands as I explored her gentle curves.
Brook’s head lifted and turned, allowing her to look into my face. Her blue eyes were languid and glistening in the candlelight. No words were needed as she lifted a hand to my face and ran her fingers along my jaw and then closed them over my chin. I couldn’t resist the pull to press my mouth to her beautiful lips. The kiss was wet and open, soft and deep, so delicious. I groaned, my tongue entering her mouth and my arm around her waist pulled her body closer to mine.
My heart swelled as love for her washed over me in waves. She was so good, so beautiful... how could I doubt that she loved me? I was a stupid fool. "Brook..."
"Shhhh... Just feel me, Cade," she whispered as her hand slid around to the back of my head and her nose nuzzled into my neck. Goose bumps broke out on my skin as her other hand ran down my chest, over my abs then retraced their path.
I slid my hands down her arms and around her, closed over the soft cheeks of her bum, never breaking the kiss. Suddenly, I wanted to rid her of the sheet that separated us. I pushed it away impatiently, which finally allowed her breasts to press against my bare chest deliciously. We were both equally aroused and it was pure heaven. My dick throbbed as I felt her nipples harden against my chest.
"Oh, baby... I want you."
"Yes," she breathed softly against my skin and I rolled with her so that I was leaning over her so I could kiss her. "Yes, Cade. Make love to me. I'm all for you."
Her words fell around me in a whisper, and filled up every fiber of my being with wonder. I brushed back the hair from her face as I took her mouth again, softly drawing her lips into my mouth one by one and then hovering above her. Brook’s breath was warm as it fell on my face; so sweet. As my mouth lifted from another delicious kiss, I leaned my forehead against hers and closed my eyes.
Oh my God.
Emotions overwhelmed me. I'd come so close to losing this, losing the love of my life so many times. She was precious; my entire world revolved around her touch, her words, her very existence. My chest tightened and my arms gathered her close. I wanted her closer and to never let go.
"Brook... I..."
She pulled my mouth down to hers again and licked at my lips. "Shhh. Shhhh... I love you, make love with me now... and just shhh. This is us."
Those words were an echo of the script that brought us together, but they were more than a mirror. They were my whole life.
I stared into her bright blue eyes and they were clear and deep as if she was looking straight into my soul. I opened my mouth to speak and she shook her head as she tilted her chin up, begging me to kiss her, love her, and wipe away all of my insecurities. I gave into our need and want. My hand roamed lovingly over her naked curves and her leg lifted up around my hips as I pressed my body into hers, kissing her again and again; each more passionate than the last. It didn’t matter that I was still dressed. It felt amazing but I just want to please her. My heart exploded with my need to show her how much I loved her.
Her little hands roamed up my shoulders and pushed my shirt down my back and off of my arms. I shifted to help her, and when my weight leaned to one side, she used the leverage to gently push me down on my back as she moved over me. My eyes feasted on her creamy skin and her delicate bone structure, down her face and neck to the gracefulness of her arms and her firm, perfectly round breasts with the perky pink nipples. My mouth went dry as I longed to bring my lips to her flesh.
She stared into my eyes as her hands went to the waistband of my jeans. She popped the button and slid down the zipper before her hand slid inside to close around me, grasping, tugging and teasing my dick as it swelled even tighter in her hand. I thought I would burst with pleasure. "Uhhhh... Brook..." I gasped out her name.
I wanted to be free of the material between us so my hands moved to my jeans and my hips came off the bed and the movement achieved two things. I was able to push the material down my hips to a degree, but I ground into her softness even more. I glorified in watching her lips part and her head fell back as she put more weight on her legs to help me remove my jeans.
She fell over me, her hair raining all around my face and hers as she stared into my eyes before bringing her face closer and finally teasing my mouth with hers. I couldn't take any more; my arms circled her waist and raked up her back and down again. When I reached for her hips, my fingers closed around her hipbones and pulled her wetness tight against my length.
"Oh, God...," she moaned as her hips moved and ground up and down, over me, exciting both of us even more. My breathing came in quick gasps and my hands reached for her breasts as she sat up and her hand reached between us, lifting me as she started to sink over and around me, her knees curled around my hips.
"You feel so incredible, and perfect. You're so beautiful, so warm and wet around me."
I had to touch her. I wanted my mouth on her so I bolted upright, still buried deep inside her and one arm curled around her hips to pull her closer as we established the slow, deep rhythm we both needed. I brought the other up and cupped her breast so I could close my lips around the nipple and draw it into my mouth to suck on it. It was obvious she liked what I was doing because of the little mewling sounds she made deep in her throat.
Those sounds, her heavy breathing and the way my name left her lips... If I could only hear one word for the rest of my life, it had to be my name on her mouth when we made love like this.
She was trembling, clenching around me and drawing me closer to the edge. "Jesus, love... I 'm... so…"
I wanted to kiss her again and again and I dragged my mouth from her breast and up her neck to her chin. Her head had fallen back in a gasp and I couldn't reach her lips, so I flipped her over onto her back. Her arms went around my neck and into my hair and it was Brook demanding that I kiss her, always in tune with me; she wanted the closeness, too. She bought her knees up and her legs wound around my waist. I sank even deeper into her body as my mouth devoured hers. My tongue slid into her mouth and she opened to me and matched me kiss for kiss.
"I'm so in love with you, I can't live without you, Brook."
"Cade... I know. Me too. Uhhhh..." I felt her teeth sink into my shoulder as her body convulsed and clenched around my dick and she clawed at my back with her hands.
"Oh, babe..." Both of my hands closed around her head as she arched against me. I lost it, then. I couldn't help thrusting as deep as I could as I exploded within her warm body. She was so soft, so smooth, and so amazing. We continued to kiss each other and grind our hips together as we both jerked and trembled with the waves of pleasure that washed over us.
"Oh, God, Brook... I never want to be without you. Never."
Her arms wrapped around me as she kissed my shoulder and then the side of my face.
We were both breathing hard as I nuzzled into her nose and kissed her mouth several times. "You taste so sweet, honey."
At my words her hands moved to my hair and pulled my mouth closer as she sucked my tongue into her mouth and kissed me deeply.
"So delicious... you're my favorite thing in the world, Cade. The most important thing in my life." I heard the tears in her voice and brushed her hair back and looked into her eyes. My heart swelled in my chest because I realized how much she meant those words. I swallowed the rising lump in my throat.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I should have known that you wouldn't go back to David." I pulled out of her and tugged her with me until she lay on my chest and I could wrap my arms around her. “I’m a bloody fool.”
Brook’s hot tears dripped onto the skin of my chest. One of my hands traced gently down the arm she lay across my stomach and the other stroked her long, luxurious hair. I leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"Don't cry, Brook. I'm sorry. I was wrong."
"I'm scared, Cade. So scared."
I turned my face into the top of her head and breathed her in as my arms both tightened around her. I didn't have to ask what she meant. I knew, and I was fucking terrified too.
"We'll be okay, Brook. I don't know how because it will be bloody hell... but we will make it through it and still be us." My heart constricted like I had a steel band around my chest, preventing me from breathing.
She turned her face into my chest and held me tighter. I could feel her body shake with the silent sobs that were flooding through her. "Will we? We can't even survive two days."
She pulled herself up a little so she could tilt her face up to mine and look at me. I kept stroking her body and her hair as I looked into the wet blue depths. I couldn't speak, my throat closed and no sound would come out. I never hated my fame as much as I did right now.
"You just have to know that I’d never want anyone else, and you have no cause to worry. You should feel secure anyway. I mean, every woman in the free world wants you. I'm the one who should be afraid of losing you, but you shouldn't be jealous at all. I could never be with anyone else," she said softly before her words dropped off.
I turned toward her so that we were facing each other and I could look into her eyes as I finally found my voice.
"Brook. I can't even put into words how bloody bonkers I am over you. I get so insane, so fucked up, when I think about you with anyone else. Not even making love to you, but that you could care about someone else, or that I could lose you. I feel like my insides are falling out and I'm out of control. It's wrong, but I can't help that I feel that way. It's just ridiculous how much you mean to me."
Brook smiled softly at me through her tears. "I think it's kinda perfect," she whispered as she reached out to trace her fingers along my jaw. "I never want to stop touching you, feeling you, or loving you. Even if I wanted to, I can't. Don't you know that yet?"
I felt my eyes well, and my throat ached. "Yes, I do. I feel the same way."
She nodded. "Yes. I was reading A Love Like This today for the tenth time, and I find I don't like parts of it. I want it to be different. Like it is between us."
I frowned, trying to read her meaning in her eyes.
"Ryan should have known. Julia should have, too. I just..." her eyes rose to mine as she spoke, "don't like that they ever doubted each other. Her heart should be so full of him that she couldn’t have left. They should have always been together, no questions, no doubts... no choice. "
Understanding dawned on me and I felt my heart thump in my chest. She was so incredible. I couldn't believe how perfect she was as I bent to kiss her luscious mouth. "He needed a bloody lesson, for sure. But, we doubted, too. I’m just happy it’s over. I don't bloody deserve you."
"It doesn't matter if you do or not... it's not my choice. Even if you can be a blind, stubborn ass who should know I adore you, you’re still perfect in my eyes."
My heart pounded in my chest as I gathered her close and buried my face into her neck as I spoke, her arms twined around my body felt like heaven.
"Are you sure you made the right choice, Julia?" I teased her in Ryan's American accent.
"Hmmmph." She smiled and touched my lips with the fingertips of her left hand. The candlelight glinted off of the diamond ring that I had placed there.
"Ryan, I know who I can't live without." I returned her smile as she said Julia's line. It should have stopped there, but she continued, "In this reality, there is no question, never the possibility of anyone else for me, Cade.” She breathed my name, and it was music to my ears. "You’re burned on my soul, always and forever."
IT WAS CRAMPED and loud in the backstage area of the small venue that hosted Daniel's concert, but it was fantastic to be out with Brook, and just Brook. This was the first time we'd been out together without other cast members along to keep the media dogs off our scent. Most of the cast already left Vancouver and wouldn’t be back until a cast party which would serve as a wrap on the second film, and also, to introduce the new actors, added who would join the third and final film, to the rest of the cast. Brook and I were living this script, and I was more than apprehensive about the actress they were choosing to play Jane.
In only a month I’d be heading to New York to begin shooting my next film, Only Us. I was leaving the day after the MTV awards where The Future of Our Past was up for several awards. Saddened by the thought of the impending separation from Brook, I realized it was going to be harder than I’d thought. The only other time we were apart that long was during the Wendy episode, and the weeks between the promotional tours, but never for this long. I was already anxious, and wondered how in bloody hell I'd make it through.
I was also concerned about the inevitable drama the press would cook up about my new co-star and me, and how Brook would handle it. It was always the same shit, so I fully expected it. Two films back-to-back would elicit drama seeds regardless if they were through the same studio or two different ones. One studio would essentially kill two birds with one promotional stone, and two competing studios would try to keep the focus on their film. Either way, I was screwed.
I'd gotten word last week that they cast a woman named Leah St. Clare opposite me for Only Us. Honestly, I couldn't remember much about her other than she was blonde, ordinary looking and was a regular on an America network TV. She was a good actress, no question, but she certainly hadn't affected me like Brook had during her audition. No one could ever be like Brook. The memory was comforting but my heart already felt the loss of not working with Brook everyday. Flashback to the end of The Future of Our Past and this pain was equally intense. We weren’t together then, and I didn't have the right to want her and miss her. Now, she was mine and I'd grown used to having her with me every night. No question this would be an adjustment, but one we’d have to deal with if our relationship were to survive long-term.
I was anxious to find out my production schedule so that I could compare it to Brook's for her new dystopian flick. My brain was already clamoring to work out when we’d be able to see each other. Denise warned there wouldn't be many times during the twelve weeks of my shooting schedule when we'd have the same days off. Brook would even have less than I would, due to her fitness training.
Damn Pinnacle! They probably planned it that way to keep their blasted illusion alive. There was more than one way to confine our relationship, and those fuckers would use any means they could come up with.
Brook was dancing around with Daniel's girlfriend and some overly attentive male fans about twenty feet in front of me. I took a pull of my beer, leaned against the wall, content to watch. Most of the people in the backstage area were friends of Daniel's and although some of the fans could see us behind the curtain from the front of the stage, I was beyond caring.
I'd worn a hoodie to help hide, but I acknowledged it was probably completely pointless. Being incognito was something I couldn’t get away with anymore and it was even more difficult when Brook was with me. Twitter really fucked us. We couldn't go anywhere for more than twenty minutes without being mobbed. I found it maddening. Surprisingly, the female fans were less touchy and demanding when Brook was around. She was always nice to them; more than gracious, but something about “Julia” being with “Ryan”, just made them back off. I grinned at the thought.
Thank you, Kahlen Aymes. You made my entire life the day you sat down to write The Remembrance Trilogy because it brought Brook to me.
I glanced at the object of my musings. Brook was dressed cas
ually too. This togetherness in public was still new to us, so we'd been reining it in all night. I wanted to touch her, hold her, act like her boyfriend, but instead, I was in the background watching other blokes flirt with her.
I nursed my beer and chilled, watching her dance and perch on the edge of the stage. The only obvious thing about my actions was that I couldn't take my eyes off of her. The looks she shot at me were completely mesmerizing and the little secret of our relationship was overtly sexy. Those poor bastards dancing with her could dream, anyway. My lips turned up in another grin.
I'd never get used to the feeling of my heart filling up my chest whenever I looked at her, how my fingers itched to touch her, or my mouth longed to taste her. The love was unbelievable. After nearly a year of being together, it was as exciting as it was when we first met, but now we had a depth that came from knowing everything about each other.
I met Brook’s eyes and made a head motion indicating she should come back to my side. The guy who was talking to her leaned in and put an arm around her shoulders as he said something in her ear. She shook her head and then moved away from him toward where I stood in the back room.
I was leaning nonchalantly against the wall, and she came to stand in front of me, pressing her back flat against it. Her position allowed her to talk to me, yet still see the stage.
"You're looking very happy! Daniel's great. Are you having a good time?" She flashed a gorgeous smile; her face was flushed due to the heat in the bar, the cramped quarters, and the two hundred people stuffed into the small space.
I leaned down to speak to her and her perfume assaulted my senses. "Yeah. I'm glad we did this, but it would be so much better if I could wrap you in my arms as I’d like," I said, as I handed her the drink I was watching for her. "You looked like you were having a good time dancing with those guys."