I Shall Not Want

by Debbie Viguié

  As they walked back up to the house, Cindy glanced down at the dirty, broken toys and wished she had brought something the children could play with. She wondered if the church was going to do another charity drive for Christmas and whether or not this family would be included. She hoped so, because some new toys would certainly go a long way here. Mrs. Parker held open the screen door for them, and they trooped into the kitchen. They placed the box on the kitchen table and the bags on the counter.

  Mrs. Parker started going through them gasping with excitement while her sons danced around the table asking over and over what was in the bags. The girl finally came in, and even though she acted uninterested Cindy could see that there was curiosity in her eyes as she, too, peered into the bags.

  With the food delivered, Cindy had no idea what to do next. Were they supposed to stay for a few minutes, or would it be rude to drop the food and run? She glanced at the twins who watched the whole proceedings with fascinated expressions.

  “Happy Thanksgiving,” Cindy said.

  “To you too,” Mrs. Parker beamed. “The six of us will be eating fancy tomorrow.”

  “Six?”

  “Yes, I’m sorry my husband and my other daughter couldn’t be here to see this and thank you in person. He’s working, and she’s off somewhere, probably with her friends.”

  “Well, have a good day,” Cindy said, putting a hand on each of the twins’ shoulders and edging toward the door.

  No one tried to stop them, and so they left the house and a moment later were climbing back in the car.

  She heard running footsteps and turned to see the two boys chasing after them.

  “Mom said to say thank you,” the oldest one said as they screeched to a halt next to her car.

  “Thank you,” they chorused.

  “You’re welcome. And have a very happy Thanksgiving,” Cindy said, wishing once more that she had something to give them.

  They looked past her into the car, and their eyes widened. “Brenda, what are you doing in there?” the youngest one asked.

  Cindy turned and saw the girl sitting in her front seat, face buried in her hands.

  And suddenly she realized why Brenda hadn’t wanted to deliver food to the family. It was her family.

  “Are you coming into the house now, Brenda?” the other brother asked, his voice a little sad.

  Brenda shook her head almost imperceptibly, and Cindy bit her lip. She couldn’t help but wonder if the girl’s family knew she was going to church and youth group.

  “She’s got a couple of errands to run with us. She’ll be home later,” Cindy said at last when Brenda made no other move to answer her brother.

  The boys nodded and then moved off as Cindy started the car and pulled away from the curb.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I didn’t want anyone to know,” Brenda said, her voice miserable. “It will ruin everything.”

  Cindy knew what it was like to have problems with her family. “No, it won’t. Girls, it’s our little secret that we saw Brenda’s family today. Will you promise not to tell her secret?”

  “We won’t tell,” Ai said.

  “We understand,” Mai echoed sweetly, putting a gentle hand on Brenda’s shoulder.

  “There, no one else has to know,” Cindy said.

  “Thank you,” Brenda said, tears in her eyes.

  “You’re welcome,” Cindy said, struggling not to let her own pain and sorrow show.

  She drove toward the homeless shelter, and it occurred to her that there were so many with a home that were just as hungry as those with none. She thought of all the other kids who went to the church and their families. How many of them were suffering in silence, with none to know? It was a shame when there were many eager to help if only they knew of the need. She wondered what more she could do to help Brenda and her family without betraying the girl’s trust.

  They were within three blocks of the shelter when Mai suddenly bounced up and down in the backseat. “Doggie!” she shouted in Cindy’s ear, pointing to the side of the road.

  Cindy glanced over and saw a puppy covered with dirt and grime rooting in a garbage can that had been knocked over. Patches of the white, wavy fur showed through.

  “We have to help him,” Ai chimed in.

  “We’re not going to pull over—” Cindy started to say.

  Brenda turned and looked at her, eyes full of pleading. She wondered how often the girl actually asked for anything from anybody. If it hadn’t been for her, she would have been in someone else’s car and delivering food to someone else’s family. Cindy nodded slowly and signaled as she pulled over to the side of the road. “Everyone stay here; we don’t know if he’s violent or has rabies, or what,” she said.

  She got out of the car and wondered what was wrong with her. The dog probably had an owner. If he didn’t, he probably wouldn’t appreciate her interference in his dinner. She had had to get rabies shots once as a kid when a squirrel had bitten her on a family camping trip. She remembered the pain of the shots, and her stomach lurched.

  God, please don’t let the dog have rabies, she prayed as she walked toward him.

  She saw a flash of red around the dog’s neck. For a moment she panicked, thinking it was blood, until she realized it was a collar. She glanced around; there were no houses nearby. The puppy had an owner, then, but there was no one in sight, and given his filthy condition, it was likely he had run off. If somebody owns him, he’s probably had his rabies shots. Somebody is probably worried sick about him.

  She moved closer slowly and began making soft clucking sounds. When she was just a couple of feet away, the dog looked up at her and she jerked. It was a poodle. She could tell by the distinctive shape of his face.

  “Here, boy,” she said, holding out her hand.

  The puppy sniffed at her and then bounced over to her and began licking her hand and whining. An ID tag dangled from a red collar studded with crystals, and with her other hand she twisted the tag around so she could see it. She gasped as she read the name out loud.

  “Buff.”

  10

  CINDY COULDN’T BELIEVE HER EYES. THE PUPPY WAS BUFF, THE ONE THAT Joseph had sent her to get when she had found Derek dead instead. He was alive, filthy, hungry, and far from home, but alive! She gazed at him in wonder for a moment, too astonished to do anything but pet him as he licked first her right hand then her left.

  “How did you get here, Buff?” she asked him.

  “Is he okay?” she heard Brenda call from the car.

  Cindy half turned back. “Yeah. Can you bring me my purse?” Cindy called back.

  A moment later all three girls were clustered around, cooing, and then they were on the ground petting Buff.

  “I know this dog, or rather, his owner. We need some sort of leash so he can’t get away from us if something spooks him,” Cindy said, holding firmly to his collar. “Do you see anything we can use?”

  “Here, how about this?” Ai asked, pulling the drawstring out of her hoodie and handing it to Cindy.

  Cindy took the string, looped it through the metal circle on the collar, and tied it off. It was crude, but it would do for the moment until Mark or Joseph could arrive.

  Holding the end of the string in her left hand, she dug her cell phone out of her purse with her right and called Mark and then Joseph. Both of them reacted with surprise and pledged to be there as soon as possible.

  That done, she led Buff back toward the car and let the girls pet him while she turned off the engine.

  “Whose dog is he?” Brenda asked.

  “This is Buff. A member of the church owns him. His name is Joseph Coulter.”

  The twins startled giggling.

  “What’s so funny?” Cindy asked.

  “Your boyfriend,” Mai said.

  “We saw your picture,” Ai added.

  “He’s not my boyfriend,” Cindy said, feeling herself turn bright red. “We’re just friends.”
/>   They waited for a long time, and Cindy realized both of the men must have gotten caught in the holiday traffic. Finally Mark drove up, a siren flashing silently on top of his roof. She guessed traffic had to have been a nightmare for him to resort to using it.

  He got out of the car and knelt down next to Buff. “So all this fuss started with you, huh, boy?”

  The puppy licked his cheek, and a smile flitted across the detective’s face. Cindy couldn’t help but feel warmth at the sight.

  Mark checked the puppy over and then finally looked at Cindy. “Where, exactly, did you find him?”

  “The girls spotted him eating out of that trash can,” Cindy said, pointing. “They begged me to pull over. I didn’t realize it was him until I saw the ID tag on his collar.”

  Mark glanced around at the girls and then looked back at Cindy, eyebrows raised.

  “I’m a driver for the youth group’s food drive project. We’re making our last stop at the homeless shelter. That’s where we were headed when we stopped for him.”

  “Ah,” he said, clearly uncomfortable with the girls being there.

  “At least he doesn’t seem hurt at all, just filthy,” Cindy said. “That has to be a good thing, right? It bodes well for the other dogs—that they’re okay and we might get them back safe and sound?”

  “Maybe. In some ways it raises more questions than it provides answers. Doesn’t it, boy?”

  “Like what?”

  “Well, for example, was he set loose or did he escape? If he was set loose, where and how far was it from where he was being held? For that matter, how long did they hold onto him before setting him loose? If he got away, how, where, when?”

  “Oh,” Cindy said, looking afresh at the puppy, who was happily licking Mark’s fingers.

  “Yeah. Either way is significant, but without knowing which it is, we’re really operating in the dark here.”

  “If only Buff could speak and tell us what happened to him,” Cindy said, giving the dog a quick scratch behind the ears.

  “And humans haven’t been wishing for that as long as they’ve had pets,” Mark said with a small smile.

  A car pulled over to the curb a few yards away, and Cindy recognized it as Joseph’s. A moment later he was kneeling on the ground next to Buff. If she had thought the puppy was happy to see the rest of them, it was nothing compared to the way he greeted his master. Joyous licking and barking ensued, and the love was clear. Joseph responded in kind, picking him up and tickling his belly while praising him for being a good boy.

  “Where have you been?” Joseph asked the puppy.

  Buff barked in response.

  Mark shrugged as he stood up. “On the other hand, maybe he can speak. The question is, can Joseph translate?”

  “Not enough to tell you where he’s been or who did this to him, I’m afraid,” Joseph said. “Believe me, I wish I knew,” he continued, his hands curling into fists and rage flashing in his eyes.

  The relief Cindy had felt upon finding Buff faded slowly as she watched Joseph with him and remembered that all Buff ’s brothers and sisters were still missing, along with other dogs he wasn’t related to in the least. Where were they? Would they escape or be released? She wrapped her arms around herself. And why were they taken in the first place? Mark was right about one thing. The reappearance of Buff didn’t answer anything, but rather just made the whole picture fuzzier.

  She glanced around and her eyes fell on the girls, and with a jolt she remembered her other responsibilities. They needed to get to the shelter and then back to the church before the twins’ exchange family began to wonder what had happened to them or before Brenda missed her bus.

  She cleared her throat. “Gentlemen, the ladies and I really do have to get going.”

  “Thank you, all of you,” Joseph said, looking up earnestly at each girl in turn.

  Ai and Brenda dropped their eyes, but Mai burst into excited laughter and clapped her hands together.

  “That reminds me,” Cindy said. “Joseph, would you care to explain to these young ladies that we are not dating, not now, not ever?”

  “Why, whatever you do mean, darling?” Joseph teased, eyes all wide and innocent.

  Cindy could have killed him. She glared until he smiled and shook his head. “Sorry, girls, I’m just teasing. Cindy and I are just really good friends, nothing more.”

  Both Ai and Mai sighed in disappointment while Brenda just continued to stare at the ground.

  “Thank you,” Cindy said. “Okay, everyone back in the car. We’re going to be the last ones to the shelter at this rate.”

  They all turned obediently and got back in her car, strapping on seat belts before she could even open her own door.

  It was with a deep sense of relief that Jeremiah locked the office and headed out to the parking lot. Except for the services Saturday morning, he had nothing to do for four days but sleep and eat turkey. It seemed like an excellent plan to him. He was especially eager to get to the first stage of sleeping, even if it meant he wouldn’t wake up until just before he had to go to Cindy’s for Thanksgiving dinner.

  That reminded him: he still needed to let her know he would actually be there. He still felt guilty going when he was sick, but she had been insistent. Thanksgiving, as an American holiday, was certainly something he wasn’t used to celebrating, but he had found that the few he had partaken of since he had moved to the country had left a lasting impression and he didn’t want to skip this one. Truly, turkey with stuffing and mashed potatoes was a wondrous thing not to be missed if one could help it. At the very thought his stomach rumbled and he began to salivate.

  Not yet, he told himself as he climbed into his car. As he turned out of the parking lot, he found himself instantly enmeshed in a snarl of traffic. He sighed and leaned his head against the cool glass of his window. It felt good against his hot forehead. Holidays had their downsides as well, and traffic was almost always one of them.

  After a minute he turned on the radio, hoping to hear something about the traffic.

  “And now, listeners, KPIN is pleased to bring you a very special song request that has just come in by e-mail. This one is for Jeremiah from an old colleague. The song is ‘You Know My Name’ by Chris Cornell. So, Jeremiah, this one is for you from H.S.”

  Jeremiah swore in Hebrew and nearly rear-ended the car in front of him.

  As it turned out, Cindy and her group were the last ones in to the shelter. When they arrived, Dave was standing outside. He waved at them with a look of relief on his face. Cindy glanced at her watch and realized that they had spent nearly an hour with Buff.

  He hurried over to her as the girls started unloading the rest of her trunk. “Is everything okay?”

  She nodded. “Sorry, slight side trip, but we’re all good. Food has been delivered to the family, and now food is being delivered here. All in all, the mission has been a success.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. I was about ready to call you. I was sure something had happened to you despite the fact that I gave you the best neighborhood and the most well-behaved kids.”

  “No, it was nothing to do with any of that. We found the dog that was stolen Friday at the charity event wandering the street. We stopped and called the police and Joseph.”

  Dave’s eyes widened in real alarm. “You dragged the girls into the middle of a criminal investigation?”

  “No, it wasn’t anything like that. We saw the dog and he was dirty and they wanted me to stop, and ta-da, it turned out to be the dog. It was all really low-key with the detective and everything.”

  Dave still looked stricken after her explanation, and after a minute she decided not to try and explain any further. After all, if he was uncomfortable with what had happened, maybe it would get her out of future duty when they needed a driver for something else.

  The girls had finished emptying her car. Cindy and Dave moved inside where shelter workers were unpacking the boxes and stacking them by the back door.
/>   “Okay, so what can we help with?” Cindy asked.

  “Nothing, it’s all done. The shelter workers and volunteers can take it from here,” Dave said.

  “Oh, okay.” Cindy turned and looked around, trying to find Bernadette. To her disappointment and concern, she didn’t see any sign of the woman or her tiny canine companion. She turned back to Dave. “So what do we do now? Do we head back to the church?”

  He nodded. “You’re off the hook, though. It turns out Jeffrey has his mom’s van, and he can take three more.”

  “Oh, then I guess I really am done,” Cindy said.

  “I wish I was,” Dave said with a sigh as he glanced at his watch. “I’ve got to drop my kids back at the church and then pick up all these boxes and take them to recycling.”

  “I’ll do it,” Cindy said.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, there’s a recycling location just around the corner in the Plusmart parking lot. It’ll take me five minutes to dump the stuff there.”

  “You’re a lifesaver. What would I have done today without you?” Dave asked.

  “Just remember that in a couple of weeks when you tell the review board I deserve a raise,” she half-joked.

  “Don’t think I won’t,” he said earnestly. “If anyone goes above and beyond for First Shepherd, it’s you.”

  Belatedly, Cindy realized that it would have been easier to volunteer to drive kids back to the church than to do the recycling. Fortunately, one of the workers helped her out by breaking down boxes and stacking them in her trunk and backseat as she carried them out to him. The last couple were really large when flattened out, and she was surprised he managed to make them fit in her already stuffed trunk.

  “Thanks,” she told him when the task was finally done.

  “Glad to help. Happy Thanksgiving.”

  “Happy Thanksgiving,” she replied, turning to look one last time for Bernadette.

  “Who is it you keep expecting to see?” he asked.

  “Is it that obvious?”

  “Kind of, yeah.”

  “Sorry. I was hoping this one older woman was here. Her name’s Bernadette, and she has a little dog.”