Mommy By Mistake

by Rowan Coleman

  “Jack,” she said. “Look, I’m sorry about all this…”

  “I have to,” he said with a determined nod. “I liked the way you spoke just now. You were very brave, I thought, and…admirable. It made me want to try it too. There’s been a lot of ambiguity between us. A lot of things either half said or not said at all. And it’s no good, not for you or me or Freddie. I want all your friends to know how I feel. But most of all I want you to know.”

  “Oh,” Natalie said in dismay, looking at her mother, but Sandy just smiled encouragingly at her. “Jack, all I’m asking is that whatever you think about me, you don’t let this affect you and Freddie…”

  “Natalie, be quiet and let me talk,” he interrupted her.

  “How interesting,” Frances said, taking a seat on a stool and crossing her arms. The entire baby group was listening.

  “Last year was a big year for me,” Jack began. “I had cancer and I met Natalie.” He took a breath and squared his shoulders. “I thought the most important and life-changing thing of those two events was the cancer, but I was wrong. It was meeting Natalie.” Natalie couldn’t look at him—she hung her head and closed her eyes and waited for the indictment that was bound to follow. “Because of meeting her, I now have this amazing son to get to know and be a dad to. And if that’s not the most important thing that can happen to a man, then I don’t know what is. But that’s not all—I want you to know that I’ve done something much more stupid than Natalie ever has.”

  “Are you sure?” Frances asked him.

  He smiled and nodded. “Natalie, when I got back to London, to try to pick up my life again, what I didn’t want to admit to myself was that—well, I came back for you. I was looking for you. Oh, I was trying hard not to. One day I even caught myself walking around Soho Square, because I remembered that you worked near there and I thought I might bump into you. I felt so stupid looking for a woman I barely knew, a woman who I was sure wouldn’t want me once she knew…the things that you know now. I told myself I could meet hundreds of women the way I met you, so I walked up to this girl and started talking to her, I told her the things I told you. I tried to have exactly the same conversation as the one we had the day we met. I’ve never seen anyone look so bored before in my life. I didn’t fancy her and she certainly didn’t fancy me, but I gave her my phone numbers anyway, I thought it was a hurdle I had to get over. I was wrong.”

  “Suze.” Natalie murmured the name to herself, as suddenly the so-called perceived anomalies in what she thought she knew about Jack fell into place.

  “I lost you. I lost you twice, once when I was too scared to show you my weaknesses, and once when I was too weak to let you know that I was scared. Scared of seeing you again. Scared of how seeing you made me feel. And when I did finally see you—you brought me to life. I tried to tell myself that our moment had passed, that we were never meant to be anything other than coparents and friends. I said it until I almost believed it, because I didn’t think I could get any luckier than I already was—a survivor and a father. I didn’t think I deserved to be any luckier than that, and maybe I don’t. But I don’t want to be scared or weak anymore, either. I have to say what I feel.”

  “Say it, then!” Natalie almost shouted on an outward rush of air. She took a steadying breath. “Say what you feel, Jack.”

  “I will,” Jack said, looking at her. “It isn’t over for me. I care about you more than I am able to describe. I don’t want our last chance to have passed.” He took a step toward her, and the baby group looked from him to Natalie and back again in one seamless motion. “I want to be with you, Natalie, I want to…” He seemed frustrated as he tried to find the right words. “Look, I know you said you didn’t want one but—I want to be your boyfriend!”

  Natalie stared at him, open-mouthed.

  “Say something!” Jack exclaimed, and then, “I’m starting to think this declaration wasn’t my best plan.”

  “I…I just didn’t expect this,” Natalie managed to say at last.

  “Look.” Jack took another step closer to her. “I know it would be strange and difficult. I know we’d be the weirdest dating couple in the history of dating couples, the only one with a baby before they even get to their second date…”

  “That is quite unusual,” Frances said helpfully.

  “But I don’t care if it’s freaky. I don’t care if it’s a risk and if it’s complicated. Sometimes complications are exactly what we need. You are a very complicated person. And I need you.” Jack took a deep breath and shrugged. “You make my heart beat stronger than it ever has.”

  There was a collective female sigh in the room.

  “There, I’ve said it, and I said it in front all of these strange and quite scary women and that guy, because I’m less frightened of them than I am of being alone with you and you turning me down.”

  “But,” Natalie said with a tiny smile, “we’d be mad, wouldn’t we?”

  “I would say so,” Jack agreed with a curt nod.

  “Doomed to almost certain failure?”

  “If we always put Freddie first, it might work,” Jack said urgently, taking two more steps closer to her. “And anyway, on paper it might look like a terrible idea, but here in my heart it feels like the right thing to do. The only thing to do.” Jack paused and glanced at his captive audience. “Have I overplayed the corny romantic gesture part yet?”

  “Not as far as I’m concerned,” Meg said, misty-eyed, her hands clasped to her chest.

  “Maybe slightly,” Frances suggested.

  “No,” Natalie said slowly, afraid to blink in case she shed a tear. “No, you haven’t, because I feel the way you do. I just had no idea, no idea at all that you felt the same. I never could have asked you, I would have been too afraid. You’ve been the strong one, the brave one. You’re the one with guts. I want this, Jack, I want to be with you.”

  “Will you go out with me, then?” Jack asked her, smiling broadly.

  “I will,” Natalie said, and the two of them stood in the middle of the kitchen, in the middle of the baby group, grinning at each other.

  “Is that it?” Jess asked. “Aren’t you going to kiss or something?”

  “Not in front of all of you, we’re not,” Natalie said, smiling at her. “And besides, we haven’t even been on a second date yet.”

  “Oh, who cares about convention,” Jack said decisively, and before she could move, he had closed the last two steps between them, taken her face in his hands, and was kissing her. Somewhere dimly outside the feel of his lips on hers and his fingers in her hair as she wound her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, Natalie heard all her friends laughing and cheering.

  “There’s just one thing I want to know,” Jill asked. “Is every baby group meeting going to be like this one?”

  Acknowledgments

  I consider myself extremely lucky to have two wonderful editors working on my books and I want to say thank you so much to Georgina Hawtrey-Woore, who has been so supportive and dedicated during the writing of Mommy By Mistake, and to Kate Elton, whose early input was so important to the book. Georgina and Kate, I hope you know how highly I value you both.

  Thank you to all of Random House, and especially my heroes in the sales, marketing, and publicity departments, who have done such sterling work on my behalf for which I am truly grateful.

  And thank you to the lovely Maggie Crawford and the wonderful team at Pocket Books, who I feel so privileged and fortunate to be working with.

  Thank you also to my agent and good friend Lizzy Kremer, who is a constant source of support, ideas, and, most important, laughs—she always keeps me sane.

  To my stalwart friends who are always there even if I don’t see them often enough: Jenny Mathews (Mrs. Basquille), Clare Winter, Lynne Smith, Sarah Boswell, Cathy Carter, Rosie Wooley. Thanks for generating the sales, girls! I miss all of you.

  Very many thanks to the dear friends I see every day and who have given me so much support ov
er the last year: Margi Harris, Kirstie Seaman, and Catherine Ashley.

  My mother has always been extremely supportive of my career and I don’t think I have ever thanked her enough for everything she’s done for me over the years, so thank you, Mom. I love you.

  Finally, thank you to Erol, who always makes me smile and laugh, and whose dedication as a husband and father I learned to truly appreciate when trying to imagine life without him. It’s something I never want to have to experience for real! And to my darling little girl, Lily, who is a constant source of inspiration and ideas and who lights up every day.

  Readers Club Guide

  INTRODUCTION

  When a spur-of-the-moment romantic weekend has unexpected consequences, successful lingerie designer Natalie Curzon believes she is ready to tackle motherhood singlehandedly. But is any woman ever truly ready to cope with such an enormous life change? While she loves her baby, Freddie, Natalie finds it difficult to be home alone all day with him and her post-pregnancy hormones. During a rehaul of her house’s electrical system, Natalie meets Tiffany, the teenage girlfriend of one of the electricians, who also has just become a mother. They start a baby group and suddenly parenthood is no longer a solitary experience. When Natalie’s estranged mother comes for a visit and Freddie’s father unexpectedly reappears, Natalie realizes she has to make some major decisions, not just for herself, but for her baby as well.

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  Mommy By Mistake opens with Natalie skipping an important business meeting in order to have lunch with an attractive stranger, which leads to dinner and a weekend with him in Venice. What is your first impression of Natalie Curzon? Discuss whether you would have accepted the same invitations from a man you had just met.

  What did you initially think of Jack Newhouse when you learned he didn’t call Natalie after their romantic weekend in Venice? Did your estimation of Jack change later in the story when he explained why he didn’t call her? Did it change again with his reaction to the news that Natalie gave birth to his son?

  Why does Natalie lie to the electrician Gary Fisher about having a husband who works in Dubai? Why does she perpetuate this lie with the parents in the baby group? Are her reasons for making up a husband as simple as she rationalizes to herself?

  One of the strongest friendships that develops in the novel is the one between thirty-six-year-old successful businesswoman Natalie and sixteen-year-old high school dropout Tiffany. Why do you think these two very different females become friends? How do they complement each other?

  Discuss why Natalie is reluctant to contact Jack, the father of her baby, when she is given his phone number. What would you do if you were in Natalie’s position?

  What is your impression of Sandy, Natalie’s mother? How do you think Sandy’s style of parenting influences Natalie’s behavior toward her son? How are Natalie and Sandy alike? How are they different? How is Natalie’s experience as a single parent different from that of her mother in the 1970s–1980s?

  Were you surprised when thirty-six-year-old Natalie told herself “I might not feel like a grown-up but I have to act like one”? Which of Natalie’s actions indicate that she doesn’t feel like a grown-up? In which situations does her mature behavior belie her estimation of herself?

  Which female character in the novel do you identify with most strongly? Which female character’s lifestyle appeals to you most?

  Discuss Meg’s reaction to the text her husband Robert receives in the middle of the night. Did you initially think Meg’s reaction to it was reasonable? Warm-hearted, family-loving Meg faces a major life decision at the end of the novel. How do you think her four children might influence her decision?

  Do you think that Natalie and Jack are in love with each other? Do you think they will get married? How do you envision their life together? Natalie is attracted to two different men during the course of the novel, Jack and Gary. Which man do you think would make a better husband for Natalie? How about for you? What would Natalie’s life be like if she married Gary?

  QUESTIONS FOR THE AUTHOR

  1. Natalie Curzon is a vibrant, unpredictable heroine. Why were you drawn to writing a novel about such an impulsive woman?

  I have often written about women who hesitate to grab on to life and make the most of it, like Catherine in Another Mother’s Life or Sophie in The Accidental Mother. I thought it would be fun to have a heroine who came from the opposite extreme—and it was. I had a great time creating Natalie.

  2. Have you ever belonged to a baby group?

  Not a formal one. Like Natalie I wasn’t keen on the idea of a structured group of women thrown together with nothing in common but a baby—but I did develop a group of friends through my little girl who became a crucial support network.

  3. Did becoming a mother change the way you write?

  It’s hard to say really. I’ve only written one book before my daughter was born and I was pregnant throughout writing it. It is true that motherhood and how it defines and influences both your own life and those of your children is a constant source of inspiration and interest to me, and that is evident in my books.

  4. You write from a number of different perspectives in Mommy By Mistake. Was there a character you particularly identified with or enjoyed voicing?

  I thought that I would love Natalie the most and the other supporting characters would be great to write but not be so exciting. I was wrong. All of the characters became my friends and I enjoyed them all—my very own imaginary baby group!

  5. You depict a complex and difficult mother/daughter relationship in Mommy By Mistake. How do you manage to inject such emotional realism and poignancy into your writing? I think that mother/daughter relationships are so fascinating—so fiercely loyal and loving and yet so potentially destructive and painful. I put a little of my own experience into this book, but I also talked to a lot of other mothers and daughters to create that story line.

  6. How do the themes in Mommy By Mistake relate to those you addressed in your earlier novels Another Mother’s Life and The Accidental Mother?

  Modern motherhood is a difficult path to follow. The role is much less clearly defined than it used to be half a century ago. In all three of these books I’m exploring what it’s like to be a mother in the twenty-first century and how to reconcile the demands of being a single, teen, or adoptive mother with the common goal—which is to do the best for your children.

  7. Have you finished writing the sequel to The Accidental Mother, which became a bestseller in the United States and the United Kingdom? When can readers expect a new Sophie Mills novel?

  Just this afternoon I have dotted the last “i” and crossed the final “t” on the new Sophie Mills book The Accidental Family. It was wonderful to be back with Sophie and Louis and the girls again and to find out what happens next in their lives—you’ll have to read it if you want to find out what happens!