Deuces Wild Boxed Set: Books 1-4: Beyond the Frontiers, Rampage, Labyrinth, Birthright

by Ell Leigh Clarke

  “This should be good,” John remarked, his face now onscreen, leaning in from the right.

  Tabitha glared at him. “How was I supposed to know?”

  “You did mention that someone told you,” Bethany Anne pointed out.

  “You wouldn’t have trusted a single word out of his mouth, either,” Tabitha argued. “When I say ‘total asswipe,’ it is an insult to all asswipes. This guy was a whale douche of an asswipe.”

  Bethany Anne looked off into the distance for a moment, as if trying to make sense of what Tabitha had said, and she shook her head with a laugh.

  “Tabitha, I sent you to get Walce, not support the rebuilding of their infrastructure—which we will do if we keep having to send payments that large.”

  “Right,” Tabitha muttered.

  “Just, you know, verify it next time. Have Achronyx look into it, maybe, so you don’t have to believe the asswipe.”

  Tabitha cleared her throat again.

  “What is it?” Bethany Anne sounded weary. “What did you do?”

  Tabitha was many things, but she was not a coward. “Achronyx was trying to tell me he wasn’t there.”

  Bethany Anne dropped her head into one hand. “Tabitha.” It sounded like she was halfway between frustration and an attempt not to laugh.

  “Okay, so Ryu—who might be Hirotoshi in disguise, actually—was talking about what it would look like if Barnabas cross-dressed and I fell off the roof, and then—”

  Bethany Anne put up a hand. “Tabitha!”

  Tabitha flushed. “Right. I’ll be more careful.”

  “I don’t object to your particular brand of havoc,” Bethany Anne explained. “If I did, I wouldn’t have made you a Ranger. However, next time try to make sure that if you mess up someone’s bar, you don’t have to pay them for it. And, you know, also try to get the person you’re there for.”

  “Yeah.” Tabitha nodded. “Sorry.”

  Bethany Anne grimaced. “I’m sorry too, but that’s mostly because I have another meeting now. Go have fun for me. But…” She pointed at the screen.

  “Not fun we have to pay thousands for. Yeah. I’ll go get Walce.”

  QBS Achronyx, Meeting room

  A half-hour later, at one of the docks outside Karkat, Tabitha sat in the Achronyx’s main conference room, picking at her new shirt.

  “It’s just not as nice.”

  “It’s the exact same shirt.” Ryu sat down next to her. “You’d have to be insane to see any difference between them.”

  “It’s a sentimental thing. I don’t expect you to understand it.” She replied. “This one is just okay. The other one was my favorite.”

  “So you are insane,” Ryu muttered.

  “Ha!”

  “What?”

  “I knew it! I knew the old Ryu was still in there! Insult my mom! Do it!”

  Ryu stared at her. Finally, his lip twitched, and he started laughing.

  “As much as I hate to interrupt,” Achronyx said, “we do have Etoy Walce to find.”

  “Oh. Right.” Tabitha lifted her eyes heavenward and took a deep, dramatic breath. “I suppose I should admit that I made some embarrassing mistakes at the lounge.”

  “You?” Ryu raised an eyebrow. “Embarrassed? Mistakes I’ll admit, but embarrassed?”

  “I am trying to work on my leadership skills, Hirotoshi who looks like Ryu, and it is important to admit things like this. As you encouraged me.” She glared daggers at Ryu. “I should have listened to Achronyx when he tried to tell me that Walce was in the adjacent building. Had I done so, I would have apprehended him. And perhaps wouldn’t have had to pay so many credits for property damage to that stuck-up prick.”

  Achronyx made a small whirring noise.

  “Achronyx?”

  “Since we are admitting our mistakes and embarrassment…”

  “You want to rub it in, don’t you? I’ll have you know that my ego and pride are almost as large as my bodaciousness. I admitted to embarrassment, but I will not be admitting to anything more…” She paused a moment, “at least not yet.”

  “It wasn’t your embarrassment to which I was referring, Ranger Tabitha.” Achronyx made the sound again, as if one of his systems had hit a snag. “It happens that Etoy Walce was not the Torcellan who left the other bar during your altercation. He had checked out an hour before we arrived.”

  Tabitha frowned. “Wait, what?”

  “I should have caught it,” Achronyx admitted. “Had I done so, we would not be where we are now.”

  “Which is?”

  “Trying to determine his present location. I should think that was obvious.”

  “I knew your politeness would only last so long,” Tabitha muttered. She looked at Ryu. “And don’t you have some things to apologize for?”

  He stared at her for a moment, his eyes focused in concentration before he shook his head. “Not that I know of.”

  “Yes, you do.” She jabbed a finger at him. “Achronyx and I admitted to our mistakes. You have to admit to yours.”

  “Agreed,” Achronyx affirmed.

  “But I made no mistakes that I am aware of,” Ryu protested. “Of course, in Kemosabe’s greater wisdom, she may know that I have—”

  “Stop being Hirotoshi! It’s freaking the shit out of me!”

  Ryu leaned back. “I am sorry to have distressed you, Kemosabe.”

  “Dammit Ryu, you’re insufferable! See, that was a mistake. You were behaving oddly during the mission.”

  “I was only trying to be polite,” Ryu maintained innocently. “You often run such missions with Hirotoshi. Behaving as he does was, therefore, the best way not to distract you. And in any case, it is the best way to behave at all times.”

  She narrowed her eyes toward him.

  “It is difficult to argue with him on that point,” Achronyx allowed. “However, he did break multiple crystal tables.”

  “In service to Kemosabe, whose actions constituted implicit instructions to engage with the guards. It is my duty to make sure if someone attempts to attack her, they are incapacitated.”

  Tabitha stared at him. “Was that even English? You’re talking like you’re a thousand years old. Which I suppose you’re close to.”

  Ryu smiled.

  “I don’t think we’re going to get him on anything right now,” Tabitha told Achronyx. “He has answers for everything. But he’ll slip up sometime soon, I just know it. And we’ll be ready, won’t we?”

  Yes, Ranger Tabitha, we will.

  Ryu looked a bit unnerved. He was just opening his mouth when there was a ping on one of the systems and Achronyx announced, “It seems we have a new situation. There is a hit out on you, Ranger Tabitha, and it specifies this exact location.”

  “Who took it out?” Tabitha looked annoyed.

  “That information is presently unavailable. The amount is fifteen thousand credits, sufficient to interest some of the more well-known assassins on Karkat.”

  “Fifteen thousand?”

  “Yes, Ranger Tabitha.”

  “That’s just insulting,” Tabitha fumed. “Fifteen thousand. I’ve never been so humiliated in my life.”

  “Er…” Ryu cleared his throat. “Why, exactly?”

  “It’s tiny!” Tabitha glared. “They’re trying to insult me.”

  “Having someone pay to have you killed is insulting?”

  “They aren’t paying to have me killed! That’s not how much you’d pay to kill Ranger Two, it’s how much you’d pay to kill…” Tabitha waved a hand in the air. “I don’t know—your aunt if she didn’t make your favorite birthday cake.”

  Ryu winced. “Well, that’s just disturbing.”

  “Listen.” Tabitha smacked the table angrily. “This guy has pissed me off. Achronyx, add to that news bulletin that the price has been raised to a hundred thousand.”

  Ryu’s mouth hung open. “You cannot possibly be so egotistical that when someone takes a hit out on you, you get angry about the a
mount, and then you add to it to invite even more dangerous assassins to try to kill you!”

  “Watch me!” Tabitha shot back. “Do you have any idea what kind of incompetent jackasses we’d get with fifteen thousand credits? Now we’ll have some real challenges.”

  “I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but the conventional wisdom is that people trying to kill you is not ideal—especially when they’re very, very good at it.”

  Tabitha crossed her arms and glared at him.

  “It’s not supposed to be a challenge to stay alive!” Ryu waved his hands. “Achronyx, back me up here.”

  “I am going to focus on getting us airborne.” The EI replied. “I will leave you to explain these difficult-to-understand matters to Ranger Tabitha.”

  “Wait, what do you mean ‘focus on getting us ‘airborne’?” Tabitha frowned. “You do remember how to fly the ship, right?”

  “Yes, but there appears to be some sort of liftoff restriction on the ship at present.” A storm of beeping erupted from the monitors, and Achronyx sighed. “And now there are several inbound missiles.”

  “Let me talk to Flight Control!”

  “I am connecting you, though, for the record, I am not sure how wise it is for you to talk to them. Perhaps Ryu should do so. Or me.”

  “Nuh-uh. Those missiles are coming for me, so I get to talk to flight control.”

  “They’re coming for all of us,” Ryu corrected.

  “They’re trying to kill me. You’re just here.” Tabitha sighed, annoyed, as the call connected. “Yes, hello. I’m trying to lift off at Dock 423, and there’s a liftoff restriction on my ship.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” a cultured voice replied. “It was placed there three minutes ago and will expire in approximately an hour.”

  “We need to go now,” Tabitha insisted.

  “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you specifically requested that under no circumstances should we let your ship leave before an hour had elapsed.”

  “I didn’t ask for that!”

  “Our records indicate that you did.”

  “I didn’t! It was not me!” Tabitha gripped the arms of the chair until they began to warp.

  “Our records indicate—”

  “I know what your records indicate, you inbred cretin! I am the captain of this ship, and I am telling you to let us lift off! There are four missiles inbound on our position.”

  “Ma’am, our records indicate—”

  “Find me someone else!” Tabitha yelled at Achronyx.

  At once, Ranger Tabitha. You will be connected in three…two…one—connected.

  “Who is this?” Tabitha snapped.

  “I beg your pardon?” a female voice responded.

  “Then beg!”

  “What?”

  “Listen,” Tabitha spat furiously, slamming her fist on the table. “I am at Dock 423. Someone paid to put a lock on my ship and then sent four missiles at me. Flight Control is not letting me leave, which is a great plan if they were bribed but a less good plan when you consider that if those four missiles kill us, the explosion is probably going to take out all of your control buildings, too!”

  “I see.” The female voice sounded unconcerned. “I’ve lifted the restrictions on your ship. If you could make sure not to explode too close to the docks, it would be much appreciated.”

  Lifting off, Achronyx reported.

  “I can’t tell if I like her or hate her.” Tabitha narrowed her eyes at the screen.

  “I like her,” Ryu offered. “Mostly because she got us out of here quickly.”

  “I would like to add,” the female voice continued, “that I have given you return privileges to any of the city docks.”

  “See? She’s nice.” Ryu smiled at Tabitha. “Though I don’t think we’ll want to return.”

  “We’ll just see about that. Achronyx, are you taking care of those missiles?”

  In a moment. The ship shot directly up, and Achronyx spun them to face the four missiles that had altered their course as well and were climbing through the atmosphere. Now that we’re far enough from the docks, yes.

  A stream of pucks flew into the thinner air and made a beeline for the missiles. The four blew up one after another in an impressive set of double-explosions.

  “Let’s get somewhere else before we find out where Etoy Walce is,” Ryu suggested. “And just think how much worse this would have been with a hundred thousand as the reward.”

  “Are you kidding? This was pathetic—and I am not going to be scared off. Achronyx, send that message raising the reward, and set us down outside Karkat.”

  Beside Tabitha, Ryu sighed.

  Chapter 6

  Nickie

  Rebus Quadrant, Aboard the Penitent Granddaughter, Nickie’s Quarters

  Nickie.

  She kept reading the words on her HUD, tuning out the interruption. If the interruption hadn’t been inside her head, she might very well have plugged her ears and started humming.

  Nickie!

  Nickie jolted back to the present when the words on her HUD abruptly vanished, leaving her looking at the wall across from her bed. She blinked at it slowly for a moment before she realized that her communicator was beeping at her.

  Based on Meredith’s tone, it had probably been beeping for a little while. Nickie yanked it out of her pocket to answer it.

  “Finally!” Grim exclaimed. “Look, you need to get over to the main hall. Sooner rather than later, preferably.”

  “What?” Even as she asked, she was already getting to her feet. She grabbed her gun and her knife out of habit more than any belief that she would actually need either of them. “Why? What’s going on?”

  The door opened, and she jogged out of her quarters and through the corridors of the ship.

  “Tensions are a little high, and everyone is sort of on edge. I don’t think anyone really meant for it to get this far, and I’m pretty sure no one actually meant any harm—“

  “Grim.” Nickie cut him off before his nervous rambling could go on for any longer. “The short version,” she demanded, nearing the airlock.

  “Right.” He cleared his throat sheepishly. “A fight broke out between a few of the colonists. Keen and I only have so many hands to break it up.”

  “Great.” Nickie sighed, dragging her hand down her face. “I’ll be right there.” With that, she disconnected the call and broke into a jog.

  Rebus Quadrant, Themis Colony

  The weapons had been stacked and organized. The bots had been sent back to the ship. The injured had been tended to. The emotionally drained were asleep, slowly recuperating. The bodies of those they had all lost had been identified and moved so they could be given proper burials later. A few colonists had started cleaning up the blood coating so many of Tykis Outpost’s walls, but only those who couldn’t bring themselves to stop moving yet.

  Everyone else had gathered in the main hall, where it seemed as if every distraction had already been used up.

  Slowly, the adrenaline high that had carried them all out of the mines and kept them focused began to wane. And as the energy drained, so too did any of the goodwill they had dredged up.

  It was one of the maintenance workers, Tracy, who rounded on Keen, hands clenched at his sides as he shook with a mixture of exhaustion and outrage.

  “So what do you have to say about all this?” Tracy demanded, closing the distance between him and Keen.

  Keen heaved a slow, tired sigh. “What are you getting at?” He asked it so flatly that it didn’t even sound like a question, and he didn’t get up from his seat.

  Tracy’s hands clenched even harder, and he shook even more. “You’re in charge of us. Under your watch, we were invaded, enslaved, and then invaded again before we even finished cleaning up after the first invasion. What are any of us supposed to think about that?”

  “Hey, come on!” Melissa burst out, stomping forward to plant herself between Tracy and Keen. “How was he supposed to stop any
of that? How was anyone?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. One woman managed to singlehandedly fight off two platoons of Skaines!” Tracy shouted back, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

  A crowd was beginning to gather around them, murmuring amongst themselves as they tried to decide whether Tracy or Melissa was making more sense.

  Melissa’s mouth twisted to the side in irritation. “I’m pretty sure she’s not a baseline human being,” she pointed out sharply. “I mean, we all saw some of what she could do. Can you do any of that? Can any of us?”

  Tracy scowled back, but he didn’t have time to make a rebuttal before Jack chimed in. “Then maybe we shouldn’t have come out to the ass-end of nowhere without any sort of defenses. None of us were trained for any of this.”

  “Oh, please.” Harry scoffed, with a sharp bark of laughter. “What, should we have been sent with our own team of super-humans? Are you offering to pay for them out of your paycheck? Because you know damn well our company sure as shit ain’t going to shell out for that sort of manpower.”

  “Then he should have fought for it!” Tracy barked, pointing one finger at Keen. “He should have fought for us!”

  “You’re being ridiculous, and you know it,” Melissa snapped, folding her arms over her chest.

  “Making even less sense than he usually does,” Harry agreed dryly.

  Grim inched his way over as they argued, coming to a halt beside Keen’s chair. He fidgeted with his hands. “Should we…do something? Break them up or something like that?”

  As if he had simply been waiting for that sort of cue, Tracy threw the first punch, his knuckles connecting with Harry’s jaw with an audible impact. Harry stumbled back a few steps, one hand coming up to cup his jaw, before he charged forward a few steps to return the favor to Tracy, punching him square in the sternum.

  Finally, Keen practically launched himself out of his chair, shouldering his way between the pair of them. He planted one hand on Tracy’s chest and one hand on Harry’s and pushed them away from each other, and then he refused to be budged from where he was.

  If it hadn’t been obvious enough that the cause of the uproar was nerves and misplaced fear, it became painfully obvious then. Though Keen had been the initial target of the strife, even with him standing right in the middle of them, Tracy and Harry seemed more concerned with continuing to yell at each other. Though Melissa made a token attempt at getting Harry to calm down, it didn’t take long before she and Jack were shouting just as loudly. Keen, in the middle of them, was left with little to do but keep them from ripping each other apart.