Wonders Will Never Cease

by Robert Irwin

  The following morning, while Anthony is being armed, his father enters the pavilion.

  ‘The King is not pleased with you, but that will pass. Now his command is that you are to fight as hard as you like today. He did not care for being shouted at by the Burgundian Bastard. Besides, if the Queen hears of how you were ordered to play the loser, Edward will never hear the end of it and Tiptoft has already remonstrated with him.’

  His father claps him on the shoulder and Raker shouts after him, ‘Be sure that you kill the Frenchman!’As Anthony walks out of the pavilion, he commends himself to God.

  Today the fighting is on foot and with poleaxes. Anthony and the Bastard advance slowly towards each other like silvery lobsters moving under water. Anthony is shouting ‘St George! St George! St George!’ and the Bastard is shouting something, God knows what. They both heft and shift their poleaxes from hand to hand as they walk on. The poleaxe has a curved blade with a spike on the other side of the haft and there is another spike at the head of the haft. Since steel stripes run along the length of the haft to protect its wood, the poleaxe is heavy and difficult to manage.

  As soon as Anthony is in range, he feints at the Bastard’s head, but then brings the axe down in an attempt to smash and perhaps even sever the Bastard’s leg at the knee, but he is only just within range and his strike has insufficient force behind it and is easily parried. Then Anthony, determined not to let the Bastard gain the initiative, thrusts and thrusts again towards the Bastard’s helmet and keeps thrusting, so that the Bastard must repeatedly parry and cannot prepare his own strike. After a while, Anthony’s feints become slower, as the weight of the axe begins to tell on his arms and the Bastard does take the initiative and gets the spike of the axe behind Anthony’s neck, seeking to pull him forward and wrench him onto the ground. But Anthony grabs the haft of the Bastard’s axe, and ducking his own head, shoves the axe sideways. Then both men having been thwarted of an easy victory fall into a rhythm of hacking that slowly does expensive damage to their fine armour. The Bastard, who has lost his third shoulder plate, grunts and shouts a lot. Anthony finds it hard to see because of the stinging salt sweat in his eyes. Then they break apart and by unspoken agreement they draw breath for a while. When they close again the Bastard seeks to hook Anthony’s knee, but Anthony skips over the haft. Perhaps the Bastard anticipated that Anthony would have had to use his axe to parry this threat, but, having stepped over his enemy’s axe, Anthony’s own axe is raised over his shoulder and he brings it down with such tremendous force that not only is the Bastard’s visor sheared half off, but the Bastard is brought down to his knees.

  Now the Bastard’s situation is perilous indeed and the King, seeing this shouts ‘Whoo!’ and casts his baton into the lists as a signal that the combat must end. But Anthony is in a rage and he does not want to stop until he has killed the Bastard, and the Bastard, who has not seen the signal, is simultaneously getting his hands further up the haft of his axe, so that he may thrust its spike into Anthony’s groin. Bluemantle has come running forward and thrust his herald’s staff between the combatants. Anthony, who is aiming for the Bastard’s defenceless face, heedlessly brings his axe down anyway and smashes the herald’s staff into pieces. But the staff has served its purpose and saved the Bastard’s face and perhaps also his life and Anthony now sees that he must stop.

  Bluemantle congratulates the two on a fine fight and tells them that the day’s engagement is now concluded. The Bastard, who has staggered to his feet is in a new rage and demands that they should be allowed to continue to fight it out. Bluemantle hesitates and waits until Tiptoft comes hurrying down from the royal stand. The two of them confer and then Bluemantle announces that the combat may continue, but only if the Bastard gets on his knees once more, for that is the rule. At which point, the Bastard shrugs and throws away his axe before stumbling towards Anthony and embracing and kissing him. Once again the French is too fast for Anthony, but he gets the gist of it. That was the best fight the Bastard had had in years and he loves Anthony for it and they should be blood brothers and when they next joust they should be on the same side.

  The King is now on his feet with his arms raised in exultation and the crowd is cheering. The Queen descends from the stand to embrace her brother.

  A select band of courtiers join the King and Queen and the two champions in a pavilion that has been erected behind the royal stand and hippocras is served. The Bastard swiftly drains two cups before loudly announcing something. Jacquetta looks dismayed and translates the Bastard’s words for Anthony.

  ‘He swears that you were aided in the combat by some magical force. It was as if there was an invisible man standing beside you and fighting on your side.’

  But then the Bastard, seeing the expressions on Jacquetta’s and Anthony’s faces, launches into a torrent of explanation. Anthony is to understand that no insult is intended. Quite the contrary, it is the mark of a hero to possess some magical power and the Bastard esteems him for it, since there must be a magical quality to all heroes. The Bastard himself claims to understand the language of birds. He says that he will recount to them a tale of high magic and heroism that is told of the ancient kingdom of Burgundy, but at this point Edward restrains him and asks him to tell them all this story over dinner.

  Now Edward would rather talk of hunting, feasting and music, but at this point Clarence noisily breaks in. George Duke of Clarence, as second son of Richard of York, is heir apparent to Edward, at least until Elizabeth shall bear Edward a son. Clarence is handsome though a little chubby. He is young, arrogant and noisy. Yet at the same time he is nervous, for Warwick is not at court and neither are any others of the Neville clan. Clarence hopes to marry Warwick’s daughter, Isabel. This marriage would seal a pact between him and Warwick. Moreover the northern estates that the marriage would bring would make Clarence a power in the land and a great lord who would be no longer solely dependent on his brother’s favour. But Warwick is once again away in France where he is futilely attempting to negotiate a treaty with Louis – a treaty that Edward will never agree to. Clarence is hostile to the Burgundian Bastard, since he follows Warwick (whom he hero worships) in preferring a French alliance.

  ‘Magic is more often the companion of villainy than it is the helpmeet of heroism,’ says Clarence. ‘We need no tales of magic from ancient Burgundy when all London is rife with conjurations, false libels and rumours of sorcery and conspiracy and poison plots. We hear reports of visitations of the dead, manikins that walk and fish that talk. Dark corners are filled with lurking creatures – with conspirators and their attendant demons.’

  Everyone looks at Clarence. He is babbling. Edward wonders if his brother is going mad.

  But Jacquetta, who senses that Clarence’s words are directed at her and her family, says that most reports of magic are only stories that have been put about to entertain. Moreover she points out that magic may serve the good and she cites the case of wise Merlin who always gave good counsel to King Arthur. At this, Edward says that he wishes that he had a Merlin to advise him.

  ‘But you keep an alchemist in your service,’ says Clarence. ‘What is his name?’

  ‘George Ripley,’ replies Edward. ‘But he is not a magician.’

  ‘It is all the same thing,’ says Clarence. ‘What is making gold from lead, if not an act of magic? I have heard that your alchemist is supposed to do marvellous things.’

  Then Elizabeth says, ‘I should like to see a marvel. Let him come before us at dinner and perform a conjuration so that we can be amazed.’

  Edward shakes his head and tells her that her beauty is marvel enough for them all. And indeed when Anthony looks at his sister, it seems, as ever, that there is something super-natural about her beauty. Her face shimmers with a loveliness that is not entirely human, but might be a gift of Elfland.

  Elizabeth is not to be denied. She will see a marvel at dinner. Now Edward, fearing her sulks, summons a courier and orders him to ride ahead and fin
d Ripley and bring him to the royal presence at Westminster. Clarence is as keen as Elizabeth to see the alchemist do tricks and says that if they are not good ones, he should be dismissed, for what use is the man otherwise? Now Edward wants to talk about hunting. A little later, as they ride back to Westminster, he and the Bastard will talk politics.

  The accursed feast is held in the Painted Chamber of the Privy Palace at Westminster and Anthony finds himself seated opposite frescoes of violent scenes from the Old Testament, the fight of Judas Maccabeus against Nicanor and the Destruction of Sennacherib. The tables are set in a horseshoe shape on three sides of the chamber. The diners look upon an incongruous circular oven in the centre of the chamber. It has been crudely constructed from bricks and metal trays. A trench filled with a dark liquid running round the top of the oven is just visible and within circumference of the trench there is a circle of little pots. Although it is a bright summer evening outside, heavy drapes shut out that light and torches held by pages standing behind the diners provide what illumination there is. Gyroscopic brass censers roll across the stone floor filling the chamber with heavy perfume.

  Everyone wants to know what the oven is doing here. Edward explains that Ripley has agreed to show them a great marvel and has requested this oven, as well as a goose and the assistance of a serving man.

  ‘A roast goose will not be such a marvel,’ says Elizabeth disappointedly.

  ‘Perhaps the alchemist will turn the goose into solid gold,’ says Clarence.

  Before any food is served, Scoggin makes an appearance and does his best to caper, though he is not as agile as he once was, for the beating that he received by unknown hands some years back has slowed him down.

  ‘Why do we see cocks rather than hens serving as weathervanes on steeples?’

  Since no one else has the answer, Scoggin provides it himself, ‘Because, if it were a hen, she would lay eggs and they would fall upon men’s heads! Oh ho ho ho ho!’ But Scoggin laughs alone.

  ‘At what time of the year does a goose bear most feathers?’

  More silence.

  ‘When she has a gander on her back!’

  Only Hastings manages a smile. Scoggin attempts a few more merry trifles. Every time he laughs the diners find themselves gazing at the inside of his broken-toothed mouth. Edward mutters about how Scoggin was good in his day, but now his wit has lost its edge. A jester should use his comic barbs to make serious criticisms of the great ones in the land.

  ‘We all need to be reminded that we are fallible and mortal. A good fool holds a mirror to our failings.’

  But Rivers says that Scoggin’s mirror is clouded and cracked and urges the King to dismiss him from his employment.

  After only a little while Scoggin is sent out from the room. He shuffles off swatting his head with his pig’s bladder. Now servants bring ewers and bowls of water, so that the diners may wash their hands. The Royal Chaplain says grace and then withdraws. Trenchers of baked swan in a spiced wine sauce are brought in and the diners serve themselves from the trenchers. Edward gives himself a royal helping and Anthony notices that he is putting on weight. The way is now clear for the Bastard to tell a tale of ancient Burgundy.

  ‘The Kingdom of Burgundy is very old – much older than the English Kingdom. Our histories tell us that three brothers, Gunther, Gernot and Giseler ruled the Kingdom from their capital at Worms. One day a young prince, Siegfried arrives at their court and after demonstrating his prowess at feats of arms, seeks the hand of their sister Kriemhild. Gunther, for his part wishes to marry Brunhild, the Queen of Iceland. But Brunhild, an Amazon of the north, is very strong and will only consent to marry the man who can defeat her in an athletic contest. Though Gunther is too feeble and cowardly to fight with her, he proposes that Siegfried should do so for him, and then and only then he may wed Kriemhild. Siegfried has all the magical trappings of a hero, for he has acquired the sword Balmung and the cloak of darkness known as the Tarnkappe. These things were formerly the treasures of the Nibelung. Also he knows the language of birds. Not only that, but it is almost impossible to kill or even wound him, for he has bathed in the blood of the dragon he slew.

  Siegfried agrees to Gunther’s proposal and they sail to Iceland where Brunhild tells Gunther that she will only marry him if he defeats her in three challenges. A ring is marked out for the games and Brunhild appears in full armour as if ready for war. Gunther arrives in the company of his faithful henchman Hagen, and Siegfried (who has donned the Tarnkappe and is consequently invisible) follows close behind them. When Hagen sees Brunhild’s great shield of gold, braced by hardest steel and which is so heavy that her retainers struggle under its weight, he says to Gunther, ‘We are done for. The woman whose love you desire is a rib of the Devil himself!’ Gunther’s own shield is much lighter. But Siegfried whispers to Gunther that he must not be afraid.

  So the contest begins and Brunhild hurls her great spear which is made from three ingots of steel at Gunther’s shield which is now invisibly held by Siegfried. Such is the force of Brunhild’s throw that the spear passes through the shield and should have killed Siegfried were he not protected by having bathed in dragon’s blood. He picks up her spear, and not wishing to kill the woman whom Gunther proposes to marry, he reverses it, so the point is now at the back of it and he sends the shaft hurtling towards Brunhild. She cannot stand against the force of Siegfried’s throw and when she rises from the ground, she commends Gunther for his strength. Next they competed in seeing how far they each could throw a boulder. Brunhild hurls the great rock some twenty-four yards and leaps up to it, but Siegfried’s strength is supernatural and his throw not only exceeds that distance, but when he leaps towards the stone he carries Gunther with him. Seeing this Brunhild, though angry, confessed herself beaten and she called upon her vassals to do homage to King Gunther.

  They all return to Worms where the weddings of Siegfried to Kriemhild and of Gunther to Brunhild take place, but Gunther is unable to bed Brunhild, as she wrestles with him and ends by tying him up with the cord of her gown and hanging him on a nail in the wall. So once again Gunther seeks the assistance of Siegfried and once again Siegfried dons the Tarnkappe. Though he will wrestle with Brunhild in order to subdue her, he promises Gunther on his word of honour that he will not deflower her. Invisible in the darkened chamber, he had a fierce fight with the maiden for she was horribly strong. But after he had forced her submission, he stepped aside and allowed Gunther to take possession of her and so at last the King enjoyed his bride. Thereafter all is well for ten years, but when ten years have passed Siegfried and Kriemhild visit Worms and on this visit Kriemhild and Brunhild quarrel over precedence and in the heat of the argument Kriemhild reveals to Brunhild how Gunther made use of Siegfried and his magical powers to subdue her. Then Brunhild goes to Gunther to demand revenge. The cowardly King is reluctant to do so, but his loyal henchman Hagen volunteers to kill Siegfried. He tricks Kriemhild into revealing the one spot on Siegfried’s body that was not covered by the blood of the dragon. There is a hunting party and Hagen strikes. He stabs Siegfried as he drinks from a spring and then returns to Worms and continues in his evil way by stealing the treasure of the Nibelung from Kriemhild and throwing it into the Rhine. From then on Burgundy was cursed and iron entered the soul of my people for Kriemhild’s revenge was terrible…’

  The King gestures that the Bastard should now cease, for they may hear of Kriemhild’s revenge another day. Boars’ heads and frumenty are brought to the tables.

  ‘Where is the alchemist?’ says Clarence. ‘I want to see the alchemist.’

  No one pays him any attention. Then Jacquetta speaks, ‘I knew that story would end badly,’ she says.

  ‘It ended with the destruction of the Kingdom of Burgundy,’ says the Bastard sadly.

  Then Edward asks round the table what they would do with the gift of invisibility. For himself he says that he would use it to find out what his subjects really thought of his rule. Hastings says that invi
sible, he would watch women undressing. Pembroke swears that he would use invisibility to do good by stealth, for he would steal into people’s houses and leave purses of money beside their pillows. Anthony thinks he would keep it in reserve for use against unexpected assailants.

  But Jacquetta says that she would seek to become visible again as soon as possible and she continues, ‘One pays to acquire the gift of invisibility and then one pays again and again. For such a treasure one never finishes paying. A man who has acquired the cap of invisibility starts out by having fun. He steals little sweetmeats from a neighbour’s table, he tweaks a passer-by’s nose, he carries an egg across a room to the bafflement of all who watch it, he lifts up women’s skirts and suchlike japes. But after a while he will find that he cannot be satisfied by this kind of childish foolery. He will dream of doing grander things while all the time unseen and he will spend more and more time under the cap of invisibility. Then a great melancholy will fall upon him, for to be invisible is to be unnoticed, unadmired, not thought of, insignificant, not fully part of the laughing world. If you are not admired by others, you will cease to admire yourself, and invisible, you are only in this world as a brooding presence. Thoughts of suicide will follow.’

  Anthony thinks once more of Sir Garlon who used the gift of invisibility to murder knights and ladies at random, but who was struck down by Sir Balin during the dinner given by Sir Garlon’s brother, King Pellam.