Be Bulletproof

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Be Bulletproof Page 28

by James Brooke


  62 Haidt, Jonathan, The Happiness Hypothesis (Arrow Books, 2006)

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  INDEX

  The page references in this index correspond to the printed edition from which this ebook was created. To find a specific word or phrase from the index, please use the search feature of your ebook reader.

  ‘about-me’ thinking error 78, 262

  addiction counselling 63

  ‘advocate-for-your-success’ 105–6, 120, 248, 263

  ‘alchemists’ 136

  alcohol 229

  amygdala 11

  Analyze This 146

  Ancelotti, Carlo 162

  ancient Greeks 53

  anger 35, 102, 182

  adaptive role 137

  increased through expression 126, 146

  anxiety 17, 21, 26, 67, 102, 116, 119, 227

  asking for advice 73, 193, 195

  assailants

  asking for advice 193, 195

  negative emotions towards reduced by benefit finding 147

  outflanking 62–4, 244

  seeing their point of view 127, 142–3, 174–5, 191

  showing concern for 60–2, 244

  assumptions

  if … then 188–9

  universalising 111–13

  audiences

  create allies 73–4, 245

  emphasise shared values 52–4, 243

  using stories 54–6, 243

  Bandura, Albert 166–7

  Barry Manilow experiment 30, 78

  Beck, Aaron 17

  behaviour

  changing yours, not your bosses 78–80

  (incident–)thought–feeling–behaviour cycle 18–21, 188–9

  not rewarding undesirable 87–8

  benefit finding 147, 252, 262, 263

  Benjamin Franklin effect 73–4, 95

  bereavement 236

  body

  beneficial effects of meditation 233

  feedback systems 135, 206

  and mind 20, 225–31, 258

  physiological responses 66–7, 137, 146, 218

  ‘specific action tendencies’ 102

  body language 62

  and feelings 230–1

  Borkenau, Peter 225

  Borton, Jennifer 24

  bosses see toxic bosses

  Botting, Misha 164–5

  brain

  effects of meditation 233

  instructions from muscles and organs 227

  ‘sled-run’ effect of thoughts 70–1

  warning signals 144

  Branson, Richard 38

  breath and breathing 20, 43–5, 47, 87

  breathing back confidence 72

  relaxation exercise 228–9

  ‘broaden and build’ 103

  bullshit 175–80, 255

  Bush, George Snr 45

  buying time 48–9

  car collision experiment 157

  Casey, Elizabeth 24

  challenge 94, 166

  choosing your battles 35–8, 241–2

  with bosses 81

  Cialdini, Robert 64–5

  cigarettes 229

  claustrophobia 210

  Clinton, Bill 45–6

  coercion 55

  cognitive behavioural psychology (CBT) 3, 17–18, 137

  putting into practice 18–21

  cognitive dissonance 74

  collaboration 172, 173

  commitment 93–4, 166, 263

  communication

  Jujitsu 39–74

  psychology of 3

  with toxic bosses 86–90

  complaint situations 62–3

  compliments, third-party technique 196, 256

  confabulation 211–12

  confidence

  drawing on different levels 68–72, 245

  and interpretation of autonomic responses 67

  and posture 227

  ‘ten moments’ 71–2, 73, 145

  to be vulnerable 192–4, 255–6

  conflict resolution 172

  context

  power of 57–8, 243

  setting when giving feedback 211–13, 257

  control 263

  and choice 91–2

  over evaluating feedback 139–42

  over relationships with your boss 93–5, 247

  Three Cs 93, 166

  Core Group (in-crowd) 184–7, 255

  cortisol 69, 90–1, 135, 151, 230, 231

  criticism

  decontaminating 135–9, 251–2

  turning round 40–3, 242

  Culbert, Samuel 177

  customer service situations 47, 53

  cynical hostility, and cardiac problems 225

  Damasio, Antonio 226

  de-catastrophising 153–5, 254

  ‘advocate-for-your-success’ 106

  defensive externalism 137, 161–2

  ‘defensiveness’ 40–1

  Demichelis, Bruno 162

  depression 17, 102, 191, 232, 234

  disassociation 138–9

  ‘dispositional’ feedback 216–17

  distraction vs. rumination 231–3, 259

  don’t make ‘no’ mean more than it does 109–10, 249

  Douglas, Julie 22–3, 164, 218

  ‘down-to-me’ versus ‘not-down-to-me’ test 113–15, 249

  Dragon’s Den 65–6

  Dweck, Carol 5

  elevation 201–3, 256, 262

  emotional intelligence 81–2, 86

  emotions and feelings

  and body language 230–1

  cave-dweller 9

  in communication 53–4

  dispassionate observation 21, 44, 77, 158

  distancing from 182–3

  distinguishing from facts 127

  feeling with our body 226–7

  importance for functioning 158–9

  (incident–)thought–feeling–behaviour cycle 18–21, 188–9

  naming 159–60, 253

  positive 102–4

  and ‘specific-action tendencies’ 102

  switching on 103, 248

  watching them drift 138, 162–3

  empathy 52–3, 95

  Enron debacle 5

  EVA (Empathy, Values, Action) 53–4, 243

  evolution, and feedback 206

  evolutionary inheritance 7, 8–9, 14, 26, 36, 69, 84, 91, 172, 181

  timescale, football pitch analogy 11

  see also inner cave man

  facts, separating from stories 107–9, 127, 152, 154, 189, 193,
249

  failures and setback 149–68

  fairness

  being flexible about 84–6, 182–3, 246

  expectations of 84–5, 181–2

  fake it until you make it 230–1, 258

  FaN (Factual and Neutral) descriptions 156–8, 253

  fear-of-less motivation 115–6, 122, 173

  feedback, delivering 205–24

  clear requests 219–21, 258

  describe the gap 214–16, 257

  permission to be straight and direct 208–10, 257

 

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