Be Bulletproof
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62 Haidt, Jonathan, The Happiness Hypothesis (Arrow Books, 2006)
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INDEX
The page references in this index correspond to the printed edition from which this ebook was created. To find a specific word or phrase from the index, please use the search feature of your ebook reader.
‘about-me’ thinking error 78, 262
addiction counselling 63
‘advocate-for-your-success’ 105–6, 120, 248, 263
‘alchemists’ 136
alcohol 229
amygdala 11
Analyze This 146
Ancelotti, Carlo 162
ancient Greeks 53
anger 35, 102, 182
adaptive role 137
increased through expression 126, 146
anxiety 17, 21, 26, 67, 102, 116, 119, 227
asking for advice 73, 193, 195
assailants
asking for advice 193, 195
negative emotions towards reduced by benefit finding 147
outflanking 62–4, 244
seeing their point of view 127, 142–3, 174–5, 191
showing concern for 60–2, 244
assumptions
if … then 188–9
universalising 111–13
audiences
create allies 73–4, 245
emphasise shared values 52–4, 243
using stories 54–6, 243
Bandura, Albert 166–7
Barry Manilow experiment 30, 78
Beck, Aaron 17
behaviour
changing yours, not your bosses 78–80
(incident–)thought–feeling–behaviour cycle 18–21, 188–9
not rewarding undesirable 87–8
benefit finding 147, 252, 262, 263
Benjamin Franklin effect 73–4, 95
bereavement 236
body
beneficial effects of meditation 233
feedback systems 135, 206
and mind 20, 225–31, 258
physiological responses 66–7, 137, 146, 218
‘specific action tendencies’ 102
body language 62
and feelings 230–1
Borkenau, Peter 225
Borton, Jennifer 24
bosses see toxic bosses
Botting, Misha 164–5
brain
effects of meditation 233
instructions from muscles and organs 227
‘sled-run’ effect of thoughts 70–1
warning signals 144
Branson, Richard 38
breath and breathing 20, 43–5, 47, 87
breathing back confidence 72
relaxation exercise 228–9
‘broaden and build’ 103
bullshit 175–80, 255
Bush, George Snr 45
buying time 48–9
car collision experiment 157
Casey, Elizabeth 24
challenge 94, 166
choosing your battles 35–8, 241–2
with bosses 81
Cialdini, Robert 64–5
cigarettes 229
claustrophobia 210
Clinton, Bill 45–6
coercion 55
cognitive behavioural psychology (CBT) 3, 17–18, 137
putting into practice 18–21
cognitive dissonance 74
collaboration 172, 173
commitment 93–4, 166, 263
communication
Jujitsu 39–74
psychology of 3
with toxic bosses 86–90
complaint situations 62–3
compliments, third-party technique 196, 256
confabulation 211–12
confidence
drawing on different levels 68–72, 245
and interpretation of autonomic responses 67
and posture 227
‘ten moments’ 71–2, 73, 145
to be vulnerable 192–4, 255–6
conflict resolution 172
context
power of 57–8, 243
setting when giving feedback 211–13, 257
control 263
and choice 91–2
over evaluating feedback 139–42
over relationships with your boss 93–5, 247
Three Cs 93, 166
Core Group (in-crowd) 184–7, 255
cortisol 69, 90–1, 135, 151, 230, 231
criticism
decontaminating 135–9, 251–2
turning round 40–3, 242
Culbert, Samuel 177
customer service situations 47, 53
cynical hostility, and cardiac problems 225
Damasio, Antonio 226
de-catastrophising 153–5, 254
‘advocate-for-your-success’ 106
defensive externalism 137, 161–2
‘defensiveness’ 40–1
Demichelis, Bruno 162
depression 17, 102, 191, 232, 234
disassociation 138–9
‘dispositional’ feedback 216–17
distraction vs. rumination 231–3, 259
don’t make ‘no’ mean more than it does 109–10, 249
Douglas, Julie 22–3, 164, 218
‘down-to-me’ versus ‘not-down-to-me’ test 113–15, 249
Dragon’s Den 65–6
Dweck, Carol 5
elevation 201–3, 256, 262
emotional intelligence 81–2, 86
emotions and feelings
and body language 230–1
cave-dweller 9
in communication 53–4
dispassionate observation 21, 44, 77, 158
distancing from 182–3
distinguishing from facts 127
feeling with our body 226–7
importance for functioning 158–9
(incident–)thought–feeling–behaviour cycle 18–21, 188–9
naming 159–60, 253
positive 102–4
and ‘specific-action tendencies’ 102
switching on 103, 248
watching them drift 138, 162–3
empathy 52–3, 95
Enron debacle 5
EVA (Empathy, Values, Action) 53–4, 243
evolution, and feedback 206
evolutionary inheritance 7, 8–9, 14, 26, 36, 69, 84, 91, 172, 181
timescale, football pitch analogy 11
see also inner cave man
facts, separating from stories 107–9, 127, 152, 154, 189, 193,
249
failures and setback 149–68
fairness
being flexible about 84–6, 182–3, 246
expectations of 84–5, 181–2
fake it until you make it 230–1, 258
FaN (Factual and Neutral) descriptions 156–8, 253
fear-of-less motivation 115–6, 122, 173
feedback, delivering 205–24
clear requests 219–21, 258
describe the gap 214–16, 257
permission to be straight and direct 208–10, 257