Any Way You Slice It

by Nancy Krulik

  Katie sighed. Compared to Olives and Oregano, Louie’s Pizza Shop didn’t look like much. But Louie’s pizza was the best. Katie was sure of that.

  “Aachoo!” Suddenly, George put his hand to his nose as he sneezed. As he pulled his hand away, there was a big, green glob in his fingers.

  “Eeew!” Suzanne exclaimed.

  Katie was pretty grossed out, too—until she realized that the green glob was actually an olive.

  “Gotcha!” George laughed.

  Katie began to relax. She loved being with her friends, especially on the weekends. She reached into the olive bowl and pulled out a thick, salty black olive. Yum.

  But as she popped the olive in her mouth, Katie got a sick feeling in her stomach. At that very moment, Louie passed by the window of Olives and Oregano.

  Louie didn’t wave or smile. He just kept on walking with a sad look on his face.

  Katie was sure Louie had seen her and her friends sitting at the table. She knew his feelings must be really hurt.

  “I’m a terrible friend,” she muttered sadly to herself.

  Chapter 6

  Katie didn’t go to the mall for a whole week after Louie spotted her in Olives and Oregano. She was too embarrassed. But when Saturday came around, her mother told her she had to go.

  “I have to work all day, and your dad is out of town on a business trip,” Mrs. Carew explained. “I need you to spend the day at the mall. There’s nowhere else you can go today.”

  Katie was not about to face Louie alone. She made sure that all of her friends would be there with her. At 12:00, Katie, Suzanne, George, Jeremy, Kevin, Becky, Miriam, Mandy, Zoe, and Manny all met outside Louie’s Pizza Shop.

  There was a new sign in the window. It said:

  GOING OUT OF BUSINESS

  Katie couldn’t believe her eyes. It just wasn’t possible. Louie’s Pizza Shop had been in the Cherrydale Mall ever since Katie could remember. Suddenly, she forgot all about being embarrassed. She had to talk to Louie!

  “Louie, you aren’t really going out of business, are you?” Katie asked as she raced into the pizza shop.

  Louie nodded. “I am,” he told her.

  “But why?” Katie asked.

  “I’m losing all my customers to Olives and Oregano,” Louie explained. “They advertise on TV and in newspapers. I can’t afford to do that. And if I can’t advertise, I can’t get people to eat here instead of there.”

  The kids all looked at each other. They felt bad about eating at Olives and Oregano.

  “Don’t be sad,” Louie said. “It’s okay. I’m going to move to Florida. My sister has a place there, and she says retirement is really very nice.” Louie tried to smile, but Katie could tell he was sad about leaving.

  POP!

  Suddenly, a loud noise came from where Suzanne was standing. Her face was covered with a huge wad of pink bubble gum.

  “Sorry,” Suzanne apologized. “I’m trying to break the biggest bubble-gum bubble record.” She struggled to pull globs of bubble gum from her chin, cheeks, and nose. “What are you all laughing at?” she demanded as her friends giggled.

  “Too bad you can’t break a record, Louie,” Jeremy said, turning his attention away from Suzanne.

  “What kind of record?” Louie asked.

  “I don’t know,” Jeremy said, “the most customers in a pizza shop or something.”

  “That would be nice,” Louie agreed.

  Suddenly, a big grin came over Katie’s face. “Jeremy! You’re a genius!” she exclaimed.

  “Of course he is,” Becky said, with a smile. “Everyone knows that.”

  Jeremy blushed and moved away from Becky. “What are you talking about?” he asked Katie.“Louie, I know how you can get free advertising in newspapers and on TV,” Katie told him.

  Louie looked at her curiously. “How?”

  “All you have to do is get newspaper reporters to write articles about your restaurant,” Katie said.

  “They wouldn’t want to do that.”

  “They would if you were going to have a big pizza-eating contest,” Katie explained. “Who can eat the most pizza in Cherrydale. That would be big news.”

  Louie looked at Katie. “You sure have big ideas for such a little girl.” He laughed, as he pulled out a pencil and paper. “Any thoughts on how we can let people know about the contest?”

  “Well, I could put an article about it in the Class 3A Times,” Jeremy suggested. Jeremy was editor of the class newspaper.

  “And my daddy could post a sign about it on the bulletin board at his office,” Becky added.

  “I’ll bet my mom would put a sign in the window at the BookNook,” Katie volunteered.

  “And we could hand out flyers for you here in the mall,” Suzanne suggested, as she chomped on a new wad of gum.

  “I guess that takes care of everything,” Louie said.

  “Then you’ll do it?” Katie asked hopefully.

  Louie scribbled some numbers on his pad of paper. “Well, if I charge ten dollars a person to enter the contest, and five dollars a person to watch the contest, I might be able to afford it.”

  “Great!” Katie said. “Then you won’t have to move to Florida.”

  Louie sighed. “Well . . . ” he said slowly, “let’s just wait and see.”

  Chapter 7

  “Hey, Katie Kazoo! My mom said I could enter Louie’s pizza-eating contest!” George announced in the school yard early Monday morning.

  Katie smiled. “I knew you’d be the first to sign up. No one likes to eat as much as you do, George.”

  Just then, Kevin strolled onto the playground. “Guess what?” he asked the others. “I’m entering the pizza-eating contest. I can’t wait to sink my teeth into Louie’s yummy tomato sauce!” Kevin was wild about tomatoes.

  George stared at Kevin. “What do you mean, you’re entering the contest? I’m entering the contest.”

  “So?” Kevin said. “We can both enter . . . of course I will win.”

  “Don’t be so sure, Kev,” Jeremy said. “You know what a big eater George is.”

  “Oh, please,” Suzanne butted in, suddenly. “Kevin is already the tomato-eating champ of Cherrydale Elementary. He’ll definitely win.”

  Suzanne would say anything just to disagree with Jeremy.

  “I don’t think so,” Jeremy remarked.

  And Jeremy would say anything just to disagree with Suzanne.

  “Kevin, I know you’ll win,” Suzanne said firmly.

  “Especially because I’m going to help you! I’m going to be your coach.”

  Kevin gulped. “You are?” he asked nervously.

  Suzanne nodded.

  Jeremy put his arm around George’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, buddy. I’ll be your coach. Together, we’ll win the contest.”

  “We?” George asked.

  “Well, you,” Jeremy admitted. “But I’ll help you train.”

  Katie watched as Jeremy and Suzanne stared angrily into each other’s eyes.

  “May the best man win,” she said, trying to end the argument.

  “Don’t worry, Katie, he will,” Jeremy said, pointing to George.

  “You mean he will,” Suzanne said, pointing to Kevin.

  Katie wished her best friends would get along. But she was glad that so many people were interested in Louie’s contest.

  At lunchtime, Katie sat across from Jeremy and George. George’s lunch tray was piled high with two tuna sandwiches, two orders of Tater Tots, two pieces of chocolate cake, and two containers of juice.

  “Wow! That’s a lot of food,” Katie said.

  “George is in training,” Jeremy told Katie. “He’s got to practice eating a lot of food so he can stretch his stomach.”

  Katie watched as George stuffed half a tuna sandwich into his mouth and chewed.

  “Oooh, George,” Mandy Banks moaned. “Don’t chew with your mouth open. That’s gross.”

  “He can eat any way he wants,” Jeremy to
ld her, “as long as he eats a lot.”

  George shoved six Tater Tots into his mouth. “Yeah,” he mumbled with his mouth full.

  Just then, Suzanne and Kevin came to the table. As usual, Kevin’s tray was stacked high with tomatoes. He also had a tuna sandwich, Tater Tots, and a piece of chocolate cake.

  “Okay, Kevin, here’s the deal,” Suzanne told him. “You have to eat fast so you can get the slices of pizza before anyone else. That means you’ve got to learn the two-handed munch out.”

  “The what?” Kevin asked.

  “The two-handed munch out,” Suzanne repeated. “You have to be able to shove food into your mouth with both hands at the same time.”

  “Are you nuts?” Kevin asked her in disbelief.

  Suzanne put her hands on her hips. “Look, do you want to win this contest or not?”

  “I guess so,” Kevin said.

  “Good,” Suzanne said, as she placed a tomato in his left hand, and half a tuna sandwich in his right. “Now go!”

  Katie watched as Kevin and George shoved cafeteria food down their throats. They seemed fine at first, but after a while, both boys looked a little sick.

  George was the first to stop. “I can’t eat another thing,” he told Jeremy.

  Jeremy stared at George’s tray. There were just four Tater Tots left. “I guess you can stop,” he said finally. “Besides, we have to go outside. You need to run for a while.”

  George moaned. “But I just ate.”

  “Come on,” Jeremy said. “You have to be in shape if you’re going to be the pizza king.”

  Suzanne wasn’t letting up on Kevin, either. “When you’re finished with those tomatoes, we’re going outside to work on sit-ups.”

  “We?” Kevin asked.

  “Well, you, actually,” Suzanne admitted. “I don’t want to get my dress dirty. But I’ll count while you crunch.”

  Kevin just stared at Suzanne.

  “Come on, the contest is this Saturday. You need to build strong stomach muscles to eat all that yummy tomato pizza,” Suzanne urged, with a smile.

  “Don’t talk about food right now,” Kevin groaned, holding his stomach.

  Chapter 8

  After several days of stomach stretching, two-hand munching, jogging, sit-ups, and arguments between Suzanne and Jeremy, Saturday finally arrived.

  Katie was up and ready to go to the mall before anyone in her family—including her dog, Pepper—was even awake. That rarely happened. Usually, it was the cocker spaniel who woke Katie—with a big wet lick to the face.

  Katie wanted to get to the mall as early as possible. She’d promised Louie that she would help him set up for the contest.

  “You’re awfully quiet this morning,” Katie’s mom said in the car on the way to the mall. “Worried about the contest?”

  “I guess,” Katie admitted. “What if no one shows up?”

  “That won’t happen,” Mrs. Carew assured her. “There are already a lot of people signed up.”

  “What if that’s not enough? What if Louie still goes out of business?” Katie asked.

  “There’s nothing you can do about that,” her mother said softly. “You’ve given it your best shot. You’re a very good friend to Louie.”

  Katie wasn’t so sure about that. She kept remembering Louie’s sad face when he spotted her in Olives and Oregano.

  “This just has to work,” she insisted.

  “Good morning!” Louie greeted Katie with a huge grin as she walked into the pizza shop. He opened the oven door and used the big metal pizza turner to move the pies around. “I’ve gotten started already. There are four pies in the oven, and a lot more ready to go in later.” He pointed to a long line of pre-made, uncooked pizzas. “I’ve got to make sure the pizzas just keep on coming.”

  “Mmmm. Smells great,” she told Louie. “What do you need me to do?”

  “Well, I know the adults are going to want coffee. Can you make sure we have enough sugar and cinnamon out on the counter for anyone who needs it?”

  Katie nodded and walked over to the counter. She found a big shaker of a sugar and cinnamon mixture alongside the oregano, hot pepper, and garlic.

  “Got it, Louie,” she reported back.

  “Good,” Louie said. “Now, please go into the storeroom and get out lots of paper plates.”

  Katie did as she was told. As the storeroom door shut behind her, she looked up and down on the shelves, searching for a box of plates.

  Suddenly, Katie felt a strange breeze blowing on the back of her neck. It started out gentle enough, but within seconds, the breeze turned into a strong wind.

  A wind that was blowing only around Katie.

  The magic wind was back!

  As the wild tornado swirled faster and faster, Katie grabbed on to a huge, heavy carton of plastic silverware. She held on tight, hoping the heavy box would keep her from blowing away. She squeezed her eyes shut, and hoped that the magic wind would stop blowing soon.

  Which is exactly what happened. The wind simply stopped.

  Katie opened her eyes slowly and looked around. There were cartons and cans all around her. She was still in the storeroom.

  Now she knew where she was. But she still didn’t know who she was. Katie looked down at her clothes. Her jeans had been replaced with baggy white pants. A long white apron covered her stomach.

  She looked at her hands. They were large, hairy, and covered with flour. They smelled of garlic.

  Katie touched her face. Her fingers brushed over something long and twirly beneath her nose.

  Yuck! Katie had a moustache!

  Who had Katie become? She picked up a huge, shiny, metal pizza tray and stared at her reflection.

  Louie’s face stared back at her.

  Oh no! The magic wind had turned Katie into Louie!

  Katie started to panic. She couldn’t possibly be Louie! Not now. All those people out there were going to be expecting Louie’s yummy pizzas. Katie didn’t know anything about making pizzas. She’d never even cooked anything without her mom before!

  The contest was going to be ruined. Louie was going to have to close the restaurant and move to Florida with his sister. And it would all be Katie’s fault.

  “Oh, please come back,” Katie begged the magic wind. “I need Louie to be here. I want to be me again.”

  But the magic wind did not return. Which left Katie with no choice. She was going to have to go out there and run Louie’s pizza-eating contest.

  “This is going to be a disaster,” she groaned in her deep, man’s voice.

  Chapter 9

  Katie walked slowly out of the storeroom. Louie’s Pizza Shop was still closed. But that hadn’t stopped folks from lining up outside the windows. Katie couldn’t believe it. There were tons of people there, not to mention television news’ crews and newspaper reporters wearing press badges on their shirts.

  At any other time, Katie would have been thrilled to see so many people at Louie’s. But now she was worried.

  Still, Katie couldn’t put the contest off any longer. She went over to unlock the door. She could only hope that the pizzas Louie had already made would be enough.

  The crowd streamed in. Eight of the ten contestants took their places at the long table that Louie had arranged at the front of the restaurant. The runners—the people Louie had hired to serve the contestants their slices—stood behind the table.

  It was almost time for the contest to begin. But there were still two empty seats at the contestants’ table.

  Suddenly, Becky Stern came leaping and prancing into the pizza shop.

  “Here comes George, he’s sure to win!” Becky cheered, shaking two black-and-red pom-poms. “Here comes George, he’ll make you grin!” She leaped up, did a back flip, and landed in a perfect split.

  Jeremy strolled in behind her. “Presenting . . . the one, the only, George ‘the Joker’ Brennan!” he shouted.

  Then George made his entrance. He was dressed in a pair of shiny red
shorts and a black T-shirt with a big red smiley face in the middle. He had a black towel tucked into his shirt collar, like a cape. He looked like a superhero.

  George smiled at the crowd. He pushed the smiley face on his shirt. A computer chip inside the shirt made a laughing sound.

  Some of the photographers leaped in front of George and began snapping his picture. Other people cheered. George was definitely the center of attention.

  But not for long. Just then, somebody blew a loud horn. Everyone turned toward the door. There stood Suzanne, holding a plastic horn. She smiled as the attention focused on her.

  “Forget that Joker,” she told the crowd. “Here’s your true champion! Kevin ‘Tomato Man’ Camilleri!”

  Kevin walked in. Unlike George, he seemed embarrassed by all the attention. Maybe that was because of the outfit Suzanne had forced him to wear. He had on red shorts, a red shirt, red knee-socks, and a red hat with a small green felt stem sticking up on the top. He looked like a walking tomato!

  Cameras flashed in Kevin’s face. His face blushed redder than any tomato.

  “Hey, Louie, aren’t you going to start the contest?” Ian Camilleri shouted out. “My brother looks awfully hungry.”

  “So does George,” Becky assured Ian. She waved her pom-poms in the air. “Jeremy didn’t let him eat a thing for breakfast. Wasn’t that smart?” She smiled at Jeremy.

  “Can we start the contest, Louie?” Jeremy asked, turning away from Becky.

  Katie walked over to the oven, opened the door, and carefully slipped one of the giant pies onto a huge metal spatula, just the way she’d seen Louie do it.

  The pizza was heavier than she’d expected. It was big, too. Katie had never held a whole pie before. Whoa! The pizza was sliding off the spatula. Katie shifted her weight and quickly slid it onto one of the big metal pizza trays on the counter.