by Shayla Black
“Surely, this sadness will pass.”
“But why should you feel it at all? When you were with him, before the incident with Gordon, were you happy?”
As brief as it had been… “Very.”
Carlotta sniffled. Goodness, had she allowed herself to create her own misery?
“Do you really think after so many years with Gordon that you would fall back onto the same timid path or that Caleb would be interested in a woman he believed had no backbone?”
No, but… She couldn’t quite find the right words to phrase her worries.
“You’re scared.” Kata summed it up. “I understand. Believe me, I totally get that.”
With precious few words, Kata zeroed in on her issue. She was afraid of being back in that place, of being that person again.
“But do you realize that by being too afraid to move on and be with a wonderful man who loves you, you’re letting Gordon win? Even two years later, even from a different state, even after the divorce, you’re letting him dictate your life to you. You’re giving him your power.”
Kata’s terribly honest words were a blow to the chest. A thousand thoughts all rushed her mind at once, the loudest that her daughter was right. If Gordon knew that he had stirred up enough fear to cause her to leave a man who genuinely wanted to cherish her, he would relish that. The small man would feel big. He would have the last laugh.
“I will not let him win.” Carlotta clenched her fists, determined to get Gordon out of her life once and for all.
“I don’t think you should.” Kata hugged her and smiled. When she pulled back, her eyes danced with mischief. “You know…I think Caleb is due back in Lafayette tomorrow for the holiday. Maybe you should talk to him.”
No maybe about it. She was no longer the timid woman whom she had allowed Gordon to browbeat. She would not let him rule her life now. She would not remain unhappy because of him, not when Caleb was so wonderful to love.
“Thank you, Mija, for giving me a kick. I will.”
#
On the pretext of visiting Mari and the boys, Carlotta left Kata’s apartment and headed over to the new house. With only two days before Hunter would surprise Kata with this Christmas gift meant to cement their future, she had a lot to do to finish getting the house ready. Her trunk was packed full of gifts for everyone, as well as all the curtains, throw pillows, area rugs, and other accessories she would need to complete the rooms. Hunter would surprise Kata with a night in Dallas tomorrow, some “couple” time before the holiday started. Everyone else would move the furniture in so that when they returned for the party on Christmas Eve, their new home would be mostly complete.
And somewhere in the midst of all that chaos, she would pull Caleb aside, apologize, and ask if they could start over.
A happy little smile lit her face. Hopefully, everything would come together in her life this holiday season. Family, celebration, joy…and finally a man to love, one who not only made her feel cherished, but like a woman.
Navigating the last curve onto the right street, she arrived at Hunter and Kata’s charming new house on the corner. The porch and trim had been painted, as had the detached garage out back. She frowned. But the door to the little building behind the house stood open. Had squatters barged their way in again?
Parking on the street as dusk gave way to night, she was grateful for the streetlamp that lit the path in front of her. She walked toward the garage carefully to investigate, clutching her phone. When she reached it and peeked into the darkened space, she didn’t see anyone, just a familiar truck.
Caleb’s.
He is here! Nerves suddenly fluttered in her stomach, and she drew in a shaky breath. It was probably a very adolescent reaction, but he often tied her up in so many knots that she behaved like that shy, uncertain girl again. When he kissed her though, all that slid away until she felt only flushed and needy and…like she was in the best hands possible.
Carlotta turned and darted back toward the porch, climbed the steps, then tested the front door. It was unlocked. The latch lifted in her hand. She stepped inside the house and gasped. Everything had been transformed—every surface painted or gleaming, all the light fixtures hung.
She wandered through the bedrooms and bathrooms, marveling at the new tile. Caleb had even replaced the vanity in the master bath with something that looked more custom and high end—and had double sinks. The frosted shower door with brass accents had been replaced with something sleek and frameless. The fiberglass tub had been torn out. A new clawfoot sat in its place. Caleb had done a magnificent job.
But she did not see the man himself. As lovely as everything looked, she yearned to see him, talk to him…touch him.
As she walked into the kitchen, the cabinets all fit perfectly, their countertops glossy and sleek. New appliances sat snugly in their appointed places, ready to cool and heat great food.
Suddenly, she heard a clink behind her and noticed the door ajar, leading to what he’d told her was the attic. A sigh followed, then a soft curse.
Caleb!
Grabbing the knob, she tore the door wide open and scrambled to the steps. Then insecurity hit her. What if his patience had run out? What if he had decided not to give her another chance? She nibbled her lip. She would convince him. She would do whatever she needed to prove that she was ready to move on, open up, and love him with all her heart.
She scampered up the wooden stairs, her heels clicking with each one. About halfway up, Caleb killed the light in the rest of the room and ambled into view. Shadows clung to his rugged face and bare chest as he blocked the top of the stairs. His gaze latched onto her, unreadable. Blue eyes could seem so cold, but never his. They were especially hot tonight, intense as he looked her over thoroughly.
“Lottie, what are you doing here?”
Carlotta didn’t stop running, she merely reached the top of the stairs and launched herself at him, her skirt hiking up her thighs. Caleb caught her with a grunt and held tight, so she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his with a little cry. He was damp with sweat and smelled like musk. Above the faint mustiness of the attic, the scent of leather hung in the air.
He staggered back a step or two until he had his balance again. But he didn’t kiss her in return. Instead, he palmed her waist and set her on her feet, then anchored his hands on his hips. “What’s this?”
“I was wrong and I am sorry. I refuse to let Gordon continue to dictate my life. You were trying to protect me, and I overreacted. And I love you, too.”
Now that she had blurted everything straight from her heart and off her tongue, Caleb watched her in unblinking silence. The seconds ticked on. Anxiety knotted her up again.
She reached out, touched his bare shoulder, ridiculously relieved when he didn’t pull away. With a caress over his taut skin, she reveled in his heat and hardness. “Caleb? Say something.”
His lips pressed into a tense line. “What made you change your mind?”
“I missed you terribly, so much that it stunned me. I tried to shield my heart from you, close myself off, but you still managed to take up all the space inside. I talked to Kata earlier. She pointed out that I was letting my fear lead my actions, not my love. And my love is far bigger. Please tell me I am not too late.”
Even the thought of this beautiful man turning away from her made her eyes swim with tears, her chest buckle. Every time he had tried to forge something with her, she had allowed her doubts and her fright to dictate her actions. She was still scared, but she would rather be brave and take a chance on being happy than be alone and trapped by her past.
“You’ve run out on me twice.”
She had, and he must feel somewhere between angry and hurt, maybe even rejected. “Never again. I promise.”
“I won’t apologize for telling Gordon off.”
“I would not want you to. I should have done it myself and saved you the trouble. I am strong enough to stand on my own two feet.”
> “I know that, Lottie.”
“I want him to know it, too.”
Caleb shrugged. “Who gives a shit what he thinks? But you have to know that I’m always going to defend you. I’m always going to take care of you. I’m probably always going to be a little overbearing and overprotective. But it never means that I think you’re incapable or that I want to suppress you, just that I refuse to see you suffer. Understand right now that I would never want to take away your identity like he did.”
“I know. It was not you I failed to trust. It was me. It was my strength.” She sidled closer and braced her palm against his whisker-roughened cheek. “It was my heart. But I have searched it now enough to know that it is yours.”
Shadows grazed his strong cheekbones and the hollows around his eyes, making him look big and dark and dangerous. Carlotta’s heart pounded as she waited for him to say something…
But Caleb only proved that he was a man of few words. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her crashing against his hard chest. Her head snapped back, and he swallowed her gasp as he covered her mouth with his own. Parting her lips, he surged inside, possessing her with a single kiss.
Carlotta stepped on her tiptoes to get closer, give him more, moaning as his hands roamed her back, pressing her in tightly, before he cupped her backside. Caleb fitted her directly against his male flesh, thick, hot, and erect against her moistening folds.
He ignited her as he rocked between her legs and fueled a fire so hot, only he could put it out. She wriggled against him, silently pleading.
Digging his hands into her hair, he tugged, pulling her head back. His lips hovered over hers. “Your heart is mine, you say? I want it, Lottie, along with the rest of you. I want to spend the night inside you.”
Goodness, the way he talked to her…low and sexual, a deeply determined male not asking a question, but stating his intent.
“Yes,” she breathed, spreading kisses over his jaw, down his neck. “Here?”
He hesitated. “How much do you trust me with your body?”
What sort of question was that? “Completely.”
“Wait. Don’t move.” He pulled away and disappeared into the surrounding darkness, taking his body heat with him. She shivered, wrapping her arms around her. It was late December, and the temperature had dropped the last few weeks. It was chilly in the attic.
Then light suddenly flooded the space, and Carlotta looked over to see Caleb let go of the lone string beside the light bulb. The golden glow cast over his tense face. He squared his shoulders, looking suddenly taller, more…formidable. His piercing blue eyes looked through her remaining walls and seemed to see down to her soul. Carlotta met his gaze, trembling under all his silent demand.
“Take a look around us, Lottie. You know what this is?”
A padded bench of some sort sat just beside her. A seven-foot mirror dominated the back wall. A giant wooden X painted in red took up the rest of the space beside it. To her left, a rack of hooks suspended a variety of paddles, whips, and restraints. To her right, a bed with a massive headboard—and cuffs built right into the middle.
Her stomach dipped, rolled, and tangled in shock.
“I know. A dungeon.”
She could not quite meet his gaze, but questions zipped through her head. Was he not just an alpha male, but a Dominant, like his sons? Did he want to use this equipment on her? How did she feel about the idea of being immobile and at his mercy? Her nipples peaked and the ache between her legs surged. She supposed that answered her question. Her body liked it a great deal…but what about her psyche?
“Are you scared about the idea of giving yourself to me here?” he asked. “I need your honesty, Lottie.”
“A little. But probably not as much as you might imagine.”
He raised his brows. “Not too scared to try?”
Carlotta swallowed. Her first thought was to ask him to wait until they were more established, until she felt more secure. But she was either with him or she was not. After many conversations with Kata about this topic, she understood the psychology of it. Caleb needed her to prove that she could put herself in his hands and give him all of herself because she trusted him. Because she loved him. And she needed to prove to herself that she was strong enough to handle a forceful man without losing herself. Together, they needed to form a bond through their communication and pleasure that would serve as the foundation for the “us” they would become.
Carlotta reached up and fumbled with the buttons of her blouse, slipping each one free until she slid the silky red garment over her shoulders. Then she shimmied out of her charcoal skirt and kicked it aside.
Finally, she stood before him, wearing only another serviceable bra, lace-trimmed panties, and her red shoes. “I am yours, Caleb. I will never be frightened by you again.”
He sucked in a deep breath, his chest expanding as he stalked toward her with slow, measured steps until he stopped right in front of her, so close that the heat of his body radiated to her and made her shiver. “I haven’t topped anyone in a very long time. I put this side of myself away because Amanda couldn’t deal with it. But I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not with you. It won’t work, Lottie.”
She understood that completely. “I know. I was never myself with Gordon. He did not want the real me.”
“Just so we’re clear, you won’t be allowed to hide anything from me. If you’re scared or worried or confused, you give that all to me, in or out of bed. Yes?”
“Yes.” She dropped her gaze again.
He hooked a hand under her chin and made her meet his stare. “And I want to know what makes you happy, just like I need to know what makes you feel good. You spit it all out, the good and the bad.”
She nibbled on her lower lip. “I will.”
“You’re going to find it hard sometimes, and I’m sure I’ll have to dig it out of you every now and then.” Finally, a smile cracked his face, and he looked at a little hanging flogger with a roguish gleam in his eyes. “But that could be fun, too.”
She answered with a blushing little smile. “I always knew you were a wicked man.”
His smile fell, and that compelling stare dominated again. “You’re about to find out.”
He ushered her to the bed, picked her up, and laid her across the sheets. She hissed at their coolness against her back, arching away from them. Caleb seized the opportunity, put his arms around her, and unhooked her bra. Her breasts sprang free as he tore it away, the chilly air beading her nipples even more. But his rapt stare suddenly made her feel hot all over.
“Give me your wrists,” he demanded, his voice thick.
Trembling, she held them out to him.
Caleb took them in a firm grip and bent, dragging her arms over her head. Carlotta knew what was coming…knew it, yet the feel of those cuffs fastening around her wrists with a metallic click did crazy little things to her heartbeat. She gave an experimental tug. No way she was going anywhere. Her gaze bounced up to his harsh face, and she knew the mild panic sliding through her had to be showing in her expression.
“You’re doing fine, Lottie. Deep breaths. Relax. Feel the softness of the bed under you,” his voice coaxed. “Feel my hands soothing you.”
He curled his fingers around her wrists, then caressed his way down her arms, all the way to where her shoulders lifted to stretch to the restraints. He swept his palm under her in a slow, soothing glide, feeling his way to her waist. His touch was so gentle, patient. As his skin kissed hers, he brought her to tingling life. She let out a long sigh of pleasure and closed her eyes, melting into the bed.
“That’s it, baby. Just let go of whatever you’re worried about. Give it over to me. I’ll take care of everything.”
She focused on doing exactly as he said, emptying her head, not dwelling on her less-than-pleasurable past experiences, not thinking about what he might demand of her next. She simply tried to put herself in his capable hands and trust. Even more tension eased from he
r muscles. She didn’t even move except to let her lids flutter open when he bent to kiss between her breasts and pulled her underwear down her thighs, then off.
Caleb sat back on his heels. “Gorgeous, baby. Just perfect.
Running a finger from her cleavage, down her abdomen, all the way to her slick folds, he stared, cataloging her every reaction. He watched her breathe, blink, flush. And he smiled.
“Are you happy?” She wanted to know, had to know, if he was pleased by the sight of her naked and bound for him.
“You have no idea. Having you here fills a need that’s been gaping inside me since we met, but you surrendering this way… You can’t know how much I’ve longed for the right woman to submit to me. I have no doubt now that you are that woman. Lottie…”
Whatever he had planned to say dissolved as he eased on top of her, balancing himself on his elbows—with his mouth right over her nipples. He breathed on them, a hot, toe-curling pant. She felt him all the way through her body and tried to arch again. The hard tips brushed his lips, and Caleb’s gaze scolded her for rushing him, but he licked one of the tender buds. She gasped. They had become so rigid and far more sensitive than she could ever remember.
When he sucked her nipple deep into his mouth, she moaned his name.
“These are beautiful, baby. I’m going to want my mouth on them a lot. You’ll see.”
That sounded like heaven.
He repeated the process with her other nipple, suckling her so slowly, she wanted to throw her arms around him and scratch his back, force his head farther onto her breast—something. The cuffs assured she could do nothing but take the slow climb of arousal he dished out.
And Caleb dragged it out, forcing her to wait, to take the pleasure until she was restless and writhing under him. Then he stood and shucked his jeans and boxer-briefs, exposing the rest of his lean, sculpted body, along with that large, jutting masculine flesh she prayed would fill her soon. Dios, he was beautiful.
He wrapped his hand around his staff and caressed it slowly with a slight turn of his wrist as he neared the tip. As he threw back his head and hissed, Carlotta felt her mouth water and thought she might go insane if he didn’t do something soon.