Smash into You

by Sherry Soule

  Dropping my bag and sack of food on my bed, I crossed the room to the window and peered out. It was a beautiful evening with a cloudless dark blue sky. My fingers itched to paint the skyline. Zeta Beta House stood regally among the other homes on sorority row. I turned to set up my paints, but decided to check my emails first.

  I booted up my laptop and signed into my email. Some penis enhancing spam, an email from one of my teachers that I ignored, and one from an address that I didn’t recognize, but the subject line read: Attention Zeta Beta Pledges and Sisters.

  Curious, I opened the email and found only a website URL typed into the message. I clicked the link and it opened a tab to the gossip column page of the Beaumont Review. Immediately, I wished I hadn’t.

  I froze when my gaze snagged on a headline that read: Campus STD Alert. I scanned the article that featured a blurry copy of the photo left in my room, but in this one my face hadn’t been crossed out, then sucked in a breath.

  Unlike the rest of us hardworking college kids, sex, lies, and scandals never seem to take a vacation. An anonymous tip was received yesterday stating that a certain blonde at Beaumont with the initials S.D. has “quite” the reputation following her around. It seems that this liberal arts major might be sharing more than her paint supplies. You’ve been warned, guys. Better stock up on your protection, or steer clear of this new campus hottie, unless you want to catch a VD. And let’s all hope that S.D.’s middle initial isn’t “T”…

  It couldn’t be about me. No one knew me here and I’d never had an STD in my life.

  It felt like somebody was watching and getting their sadistic jollies from the show. I swallowed the lump expanding in my throat. Then straightened my back. Tried to appear impassive. To feel unaffected. My hand hovered over the mouse. I read the article twice. Then a third time. Something burned inside my chest and my ears started ringing.

  Just delete the email. It wasn’t referring to me. It couldn’t be. I should just pretend I never read it.

  But who was I kidding?

  Vanessa entered the room in a rush and dumped her books on her desk. “Hey!”

  I didn’t respond, my gaze still glued to the scandalous article.

  “Serena?”

  I still didn’t answer. She laid her hand on my shoulder, and I flinched as if scorched, but I snapped out of my daze.

  “Look at this.” I pointed at the website still open on my laptop.

  She read it and frowned. “Are they insinuating that it’s you?”

  “I-I don’t know, but a nasty rumor like this is going to ruin my chances of getting into Zeta Beta.”

  “Who would lie about something like that and report it to the school’s gossip column?”

  “Someone out to sabotage my chances of getting a bid maybe,” I said. “One of the other pledges?”

  “It’s a pretty immature and cruel thing to do. But no one would believe it. It’s not like it’s true...right?”

  “Of course not,” I snapped, slamming the lid of the laptop. “Unless this is another hazing prank.”

  Vanessa shrugged, then went to her desk and sat in the metal chair. “It’ll blow over by tomorrow. I’d just forget about it.”

  “Easier said than done. With my luck it’ll go viral.” I sighed heavily. “Hey, Vanessa? Did you loan the key to our room to anyone?”

  She frowned. “Nope…but I lost mine and the RA had to get me a new one. Why?”

  Well, that explained how the person was getting into our room. I would have to ask Colleen to change our locks.

  “Nothing. Never mind.”

  Somehow, I would discover who spread this rumor about me and confront them. It must be the same person who left that photo with my face crossed out in my room. Thinking proactively quieted my racing pulse to a more steady rate. I would fix this.

  For now, I would just hide in my room watching Sex & The City reruns, wearing Juicy sweatpants, and eating a tub of frozen strawberry yogurt until Thanksgiving break. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea.

  SHUNNED

  By lunchtime three days later, I had eaten through my stash of study munchies and my stomach was growling for real food. It was too far to walk off campus to a café or coffee shop in my weakened state, so I figured I’d suck it up and go to the dining hall.

  I pulled on jeans and a translucent plaid Burberry jacket, tugging the hood low over my head. In the hallway outside my room, two girls stood in front of a bulletin board where a blue flyer advertised a local fundraiser held by the Zeta Betas. Maybe I wouldn’t get a bid now....

  No. None of that. No negativity.

  I came to Beaumont to start over—not throw myself another giant pity-party. Yet, I was already in danger of flunking a class and now this nasty STD rumor was being spread all over campus. Within three days, the STD accusation wasn’t only on the school’s gossip column, but it had spread to several social networks, too. None of the posts or tweets used my actual name, but they implied it was a sophomore art student with long blonde hair. No one seemed to care that the accusation was completely false. And in almost every class people were snickering at me.

  Vanessa kept saying, “It’s gonna be okay. It’s not you,” but I could tell she didn’t believe it.

  Yesterday I’d asked my RA, Colleen, to have the lock to my dorm room changed and she said someone from maintenance would do it, but so far, no one had shown up.

  I speed-walked with my head down until I arrived at the dining hall. I wanted to search the massive room for Cole, but resisted the urge. I hadn’t seen or heard from him since the STD rumor went viral. Still, he might listen and understand. Maybe even believe me. An odd twinge settled in my heart. But that brief flash of hope vanished the second I stepped inside.

  I moved out of the line with my bag of food and glanced toward the Zeta Beta table, where everyone was huddled together whispering. Heads turned in my direction, then looked away. In fact, everyone at every table seemed hunched together, as if sharing the latest gossip.

  Sweat prickled my underarms and down my back. I took a deep breath and avoided Vanessa’s table, knowing that Raven and the others might shun me now, too. My social life was ruined because of that stupid STD rumor and I had no idea how to clear my name.

  The cruel snickers seemed to echo off every surface and the vicious stares felt like missiles aimed at my heart.

  Please, please, please. Be a nightmare that I can awaken from…

  I stood there awkwardly, biting my lip and fighting back tears. What if I got dropped from recruitment because of the STD rumor? The very idea tied my stomach up into tight knots. I would just find a private moment to explain to the Zeta Betas that it wasn’t me, but for now I’d take my food and go back to safety of my room.

  I was halfway down the aisle when Cole blocked my path.

  “I need to talk to you,” he said, his gaze intense.

  I glanced at Jade and Claire. Their cold expressions felt like a stab in the back. My whole body filled with dread. Then I caught Cole and Claire exchanging an odd look that I couldn’t decipher. What was up with those two? And why did the Zeta Betas hate ATOs so much? There had to be a reason. Greek adversaries?

  “Ignore them. Look at me,” Cole said.

  “Cole—”

  “I’ve called you a hundred times. Are you avoiding me?” he asked.

  “No, I just turned my phone off,” I said, then lowered my voice. “I didn’t want to deal with that stupid rumor. Which by the way is so not true. I haven’t even had sex in over eight months—”

  “Relax. I never thought it was,” he said evenly. “But I was worried.”

  I wasn’t sure whether I was more relieved that Cole hadn’t fallen for the prank, rumor—whatever this horror was, or that he’d called a bazillion times because he was worried about me. Either way, he stood beside me now, looking like a knight in shining armor against all the ugly gossip.

  I slipped into a chair at an empty table and he sat across from me.

>   “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” he said. “Do you have any idea who did this?”

  A lump welled in my chest and traveled to my throat. “Only a few suspicions.”

  He slumped in his chair. “I bet it’s someone associated with the sororities.”

  I sniffled. “Maybe. But it was only a stupid prank and I’m trying not to let it get to me.”

  “You should tell the dean. And hopefully they’ll catch the bastard.”

  Since frat boys like him weren’t in a top-tier frat, they were off-limits to the Zeta Betas. But because I wasn’t an official sister yet, it probably didn’t matter. We could still be friends. And being with Cole, I instantly felt wrapped inside a warm and safe cocoon. Now if I could just concentrate on him and have an actual conversation, I might be able to take my mind off that horrible STD rumor. My focus should be preoccupied with the crazy mess my life had become, but for just this moment it wasn’t.

  “I’m really glad you found me, Cole.” My words sounded breathless.

  He fidgeted with a button on his shirt, avoiding eye contact. “You look tired.”

  “I haven’t slept much the last couple of nights,” I said. “Sometimes, I just…hate this crap…I mean, it’s just a lot to deal with. Changing schools, trying to make friends and join a sorority, focusing on my classes, and now I have to deal with this stupid rumor. It’s a lot for one person to handle.”

  “Yeah, I get that.” Cole reached across the table and placed his hand over mine, his thumb running over my knuckles. “What can I do to help?”

  “Just believing me is enough,” I said, watching as he caressed my skin. “This whole ordeal just majorly sucks.”

  “I don’t really give a damn what the gossip column says, Serena. And if it were those sorority trollops, then I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of a reaction. I hope you don’t, either. You’re better than that.”

  The undeniable heat between us seemed to ratchet up a notch. It felt like Cole’s aura surrounded me, giving me that peaceful sense of Zen I’d craved since the rumor started. I took a deep breath, and my shuddering exhale reinforced my resolve.

  “Yeah, but it still hurts.” I closed my eyes, counted to three, and opened them, refocusing on the chiseled planes of Cole’s face.

  “Who are your prime suspects for this libel? You think it’s Zeta Beta? Or someone else?”

  I shrugged. “I’m not sure. Besides, it was probably just a hazing prank. Still…I wish people would stop staring.”

  “Who cares what other people think? You’re Serena DuPont. I can tell that you’re not the kind of person to just run away. You’re the type of girl who stays and fights.”

  But he didn’t know me at all. I was a big fat coward who’d moved to Northern California to escape my old life and a longer stay in the insane asylum.

  “But I don’t have any real friends here….” I whispered.

  He raked a hand through his hair. “Are you forgetting about me and your roommate? I’ll fight with you, and I’ll beat the shit out of anyone who says anything negative about you.”

  “It’s not that easy. I can’t just ignore rumors stating what a big slut I am while trying to pledge, Cole.”

  “I get that, but it’s only absurd gossip. Just explain it to the ZB crew.”

  “How?” I slumped in my seat and hung my head. “I could go get tested to prove it, but that seems like going a bit far.”

  “No need to do that,” he said. “I’m here for you in whatever capacity you need, okay?”

  “Even torching the school paper?”

  “If need be…and I don’t know what it is about you, but I feel protective of you, Serena.” Cole sighed. “Guys like me don’t usually get so damn nervous around girls they like, so when they do—it friggin’ means something…”

  My head lifted and my eyes met his. “It means you really…like me?”

  “Much more than that,” he muttered.

  “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me in days.”

  Mixed with all the dread I’d been feeling, then hearing a player like Cole admit that he liked me, made me wonder if I’d been all wrong about him. But it was time for a change of subject.

  “Would you be interested in modeling for me sometime? I need to turn in a project for my art class,” I blurted.

  He smiled wickedly. “A nude?”

  I rolled my eyes. “No. You can keep your clothes on. I was thinking more like a portrait.”

  “I could be down for that. But if you change your mind, I could always do a few naked poses.” He waggled his eyebrows playfully.

  My lips twitched. “Keep it in your pants, buddy.”

  Cole laughed. The rumble began low, then erupted from his full lips. Heads, previously bent in gossipy whispers, turned toward us, and stares landed on Cole’s handsome face.

  “I haven’t done many portraits in the past year or so, and I should probably brush up on my skills,” I said.

  “I’m flattered, and I’m yours whenever you need me. What were you thinking about using for my portrait?”

  Before I could answer, a short girl wearing a tight Psi Theta shirt strolled by, tossing her black tresses over her shoulder with nails lacquered a reddish-coral. “Careful, Cole. I hear she’s majorly diseased.”

  My chest tightened and I pulled my hand away from Cole’s. I glowered at the Psi Theta girl, but she just smiled.

  Cole dipped his head, trying to intercept my line-of-sight, which had fallen to a spot somewhere in the middle of the table. “Hey, Serena. Look at me. Ignore that girl.”

  I lifted my gaze to meet his. “Um, I was thinking about a monochromatic in sepia tones or a charcoal drawing.”

  Three girls and one tall boy strode past our table, whispering and staring at me. I shifted in my chair until my back was to them.

  “This is a freakin’ nightmare. I knew I shouldn’t have left the dorm,” I mumbled.

  Coe leaned forward and threaded our fingers. I stared at our entwined hands like it was a lifeline.

  “You’re my friend, and you don’t have to go through this alone,” he said softly.

  His words sent my heart into an upward spiral. I wasn’t alone anymore. I had Cole. Still, offering my heart for him to crush made me feel defenseless and that vulnerability frightened me more than the feelings I was starting to develop for him.

  “Thanks. I appreciate it, but I can deal with this on my own.”

  Heaving a sigh, his expression shifted from concerned to unreadable. Cole sat back and unlaced our fingers, leaving me with an ache in my chest the size of a boulder. If I didn’t learn to open up, I’d never be able to move on.

  “I was only trying to help,” Cole muttered.

  “I know, but why do you care so much? We barely know each other.”

  “Maybe we should change that. I’m game, if you are, Serena.”

  As Cole spoke, his eyes traveled the length of my body and I knew I should leave before I did something stupid, like ask him to go someplace without so many prying eyes. My face instantly turned blood red at the nasty thoughts invading my mind.

  I jumped up. “I have to go. Thanks for the pep-talk.”

  I rushed out of the dining hall. On my way back to Stevenson, all I could think about was Cole with his flirtatious smile and charming protectiveness. That uneven grin of his and cute dimple could make a girl forget her own name. But men didn’t have a starring role in my college plans. Maybe I should scout out local convents and become a nun. That would keep me out of any boy trouble since I seemed to be a magnet for sexy heartbreakers.

  PARTY FOUL

  I received a summons via text message from Brooklyn to be at the Zeta Beta house at nine o’clock. This was my chance to explain the STD rumor, or at least try to convince them that it wasn’t true.

  The closer I got to the stately mansion, the more a nauseous feeling dragged at my stomach. I wasn’t sure if the rumor was some sicko or a hazing tactic or malicious slander
by one of the PNMs. I had no clue who or why someone would do this to me. And slinging false accusations would only serve to make me look guilty. I just prayed they would listen as I pleaded my case.

  I’d never wanted to fit into anyone’s preconceived notions about me. And during my first year of college, I realized that there were lots of sorority misconceptions that Hollywood got wrong regarding Greek life. Like all sorority girls were rich and conservative. Or they were all blonde, thin, and pretty. And everyone had an immense wardrobe of Lilly Pulitzer dresses, Michael Kors watches, and Prada purses. Or the stigma that they were notorious partiers. I learned not to judge a book by its cover or a girl by her letters. And with any luck, I wouldn’t be judged by Zeta Betas for that stupid gossip, either.

  When I showed up Saturday evening, I expected an interrogation, but secretly hoped for a typical girls’ night. One where we hung out and watched romantic comedies starring Jennifer Aniston, munched on popcorn, and chatted about the Greek social calendar. And not a cross-examination on the rumor circulating that I was a walking STD.

  I knocked on the door, and Claire answered. I entered the foyer, and the Zeta Beta trio stood there in stylish printed blouses, cardigans, and skirts in pretty pastels. Their hair was curled and they had on full makeup. Four other Zeta Betas who were studying or lounging on the first floor quickly stood and scattered into various rooms like roaches.

  “We need to talk,” Jade said. “Please come inside and sit down.”

  I followed Jade and her minions into the room on the right softly lit by a chandelier. I felt like a prisoner walking along death row as I sat in an armchair that didn’t appear to be able to electrocute me, but who knew?

  Across from my seat, Jade, Claire, and Brooklyn primly sat on the sofa and faced me. Dammit. I thought I could start over at Beaumont, but it turned out college was a lot like high school except with pricier books. And now I had to figure out a way to explain to the Zeta Betas that I wasn’t a representative for herpes.

  “We saw the gossip column,” Brooklyn said matter-of-factly. “And you know that Zeta Beta has strict requirements for pledges.”