Smash into You

by Sherry Soule

  I had to stop this before the friendship lines became too blurred. After I’d screwed up so badly last year with my craptastic romantic choices, let’s just say that it wasn’t a road I wanted to go down again.

  “Cole, it’s not you, but we can’t be more than friends. Okay?”

  “Then you shouldn’t have worn that dress.” His tone took on a seductive edge that made my pulse quicken.

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m not trying to lead you on. Honest.”

  “No? You wore a sexy black dress and agreed to sneak off campus with me to a secluded restaurant at night. What else am I supposed to think?”

  Damn him and his logic! Time to lie your ass off, Serena. And make it convincing.

  “This was a mistake.” I threw my napkin down beside my plate. “I should just go.”

  “Don’t. Please.” Cole leaned across the table and lowered his voice. “I like you, Serena. I think about you all the time since we met. And it feels like there’s something in my stomach...trembling whenever we’re around each other.”

  With his confession, that heated electricity crackled to life between us again.

  “Those are called butterflies…”

  Our gazes met and held. His hand slid over the table again and his fingertips grazed mine. His lips curved into a slow, heart-stopping smile. “Oh? Then you feel them, too?”

  At that moment, I didn’t want to be in the middle of a restaurant where a waitress could intrude. I wanted to be alone with him to explore the planes of his face, body, and experience his touch openly without fear of discovery. Maybe that’s what made this moment so intense. The risk of exposure. Maybe Cole was ready to commit for the long haul, and I wasn’t simply one of his many conquests. But if I let my feelings or my heart make my decisions, it might be a fatal mistake and one I’d come to regret. Coming tonight had been a bad idea…

  Before I could bolt from the table, I glanced past Cole and spotted the server approaching with plates of steaming chicken and steak. My stomach rumbled audibly.

  The waitress placed our meals before us. “Let me know if there’s anything else you need.” She turned on her heel and left us to our meals.

  “At least stay and eat with me,” Cole said. “No need to run off on an empty stomach.”

  “Okay,” I agreed and dug into my food.

  Everything tasted delicious and I relaxed somewhat while we devoured our meal. Once the dishes were cleared and we waited for the bill, Cole’s brown gaze bore into mine.

  “You’re only fooling yourself, Serena,” he said in a low tone. “You want me as much as I want you.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Don’t you, though?” His hand kept inching across the table toward mine again. “It must be exhausting to keep up the pretense of just wanting to be friends when you obviously want more than mere friendship, the same as I do. Why fight what we both feel?”

  “You’re such an egotistical ass, Cole.” I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t stop my voice from softening when his hand covered mine. “Can’t you accept the fact that there’s someone at Beaumont that doesn’t want to have sex with you?”

  “Of course I can,” he whispered, his fingers massaging circles on the back of my hand. “But we both know that person isn’t you...and the other girls don’t matter. Not anymore.”

  “I’m flattered, but save your sweet-talk for someone else. Give it up.”

  “No. I can’t. Not now.” His fingers wound through mine. “And stop saying we can’t date because that’s bullshit. Give me a real reason and I’ll willingly back off.”

  My head was at war with my heart. And my damn hormones. I didn’t have a believable reason other than wanting to protect my heart and follow the Zeta Beta policies like a good little pledge.

  “I just don’t like you like that.” I glanced away because this wasn’t just one of my many lies. This was a lie that hurt the both of us. “I think you’re a great guy, but you’re just not my type and I need to focus on my studies.”

  “You’re lying. Again.”

  “What? No, I’m not!”

  “Please. Your eyes are darting all over the place and your words don’t match what’s coming out of your mouth.”

  Damn. He was too perceptive.

  “You don’t even know me, Cole. I meant what I said.”

  “You’re just scared for some reason to explore whatever this is between us. Try being honest for once, Serena. I can tell you play a good game, but I can spot a lair from miles away, and you’re clearly hiding something. They say the truth will set you free.”

  The truth? Who knew what that was anymore?

  I wasn’t sure if I could tell anyone the truth. Lying had become a vicious circle. Once a person started, it was hard to stop without spinning out of control. So I did the only other thing I was good at besides being a master manipulator—running away.

  “Thank you for dinner, but I have to go. I’ll call myself a cab.” I stood and added, “If we can’t be friends then I see no point in you contacting me again. So lose my number.” I strode out of the restaurant with my head held high, but it was hard as hell not to look back.

  ZETA BETA

  Claire sat alone at the usual Zeta Beta table when I arrived on Monday morning. I had dressed in a floral, knee-length dress and a cropped leather jacket with slouchy, brown Ralph Lauren lace-up paddock boots. I’d taken extra care with my appearance, even applying light makeup and styling my hair into a side braid that hung over my chest.

  Weaving around students and tables, I couldn’t help speculating if the creepy photo and the freaky note were from the Zeta Beta sorority. If it was a part of hazing and I was their intended victim, then I had to act indifferent. But I wasn’t going to think about that now—or any of it. Today, I was going to be all about impressing the crap out of the Zeta Betas and focusing on getting a bid.

  I wasn’t sure if Claire had arrived early to meet me, but I got the warm, fuzzies at the sight of her. She was dressed in a Marc Jacobs shell-pink sheer blouse, peg-legged Seven jeans, and a Calvin Klein blazer. Now I was glad that I looked somewhat fashionable myself.

  I kept expecting Claire to glance up as I moved closer, but she never did. Once I stood there, hovering in total awkward silence, I had the sudden urge to bolt. Claire didn’t seem to notice the shadow I cast on her pages.

  Maybe the invite had been another hazing tactic.

  “Uh, Claire?” I said.

  She raised her head and blinked up at me. Crap on a cracker—she had forgotten. I was about to scurry away like a puppy with its tail between its legs when Claire faintly smiled.

  “Hi, Serena,” she said, pointing to the seat beside hers. “Sit here.”

  The tension in my body instantly diminished. I moved behind her and placed my tray on the table, then hung my canvas tote bag on the back of the chair.

  “Not that hungry?” she asked, inspecting my measly breakfast of a buttered croissant and pumpkin spiced latte.

  In front of Claire were two pieces of toast, a tall glass of orange juice, a plate of scrambled eggs, and a half eaten stack of pancakes. I’d kill to have her metabolism.

  “I’m not that hungry in the morning,” I said.

  “I love breakfast,” Claire said, picking up a piece of toast and taking a bite. “Most important meal of the day.”

  Students groggily straggled in through the double doors with big yawns and got into the food lines with their trays.

  “It’s so quiet here in the morning.” I said, straining to make small talk.

  Claire nodded “And if you get here early enough, it’s perfect for scoping out the latest gossip.”

  Gossip? Like the rumors floating around campus about me? Or was she hoping to find dirt on the other PNMs?

  Top model one and two—I recognized them as Zeta Beta sisters—walked up to the table and exchanged confused looks as they sat with their food. One girl was dark-skinned, black-haired, and Halle Berry bod
acious. Her friend, Malibu Barbie, coughed like she was ready to hock a hairball at the sight of me. No other PNMs sat with us, not even my competition Amber or Raven.

  So why had I gotten this special invite?

  “Hi,” Malibu Barbie said as she removed an Allure magazine from her bag. She had glossy blonde hair and her trendy outfit was probably the envy of most girls in the room.

  “This is Serena, one of the PNMs,” Claire said, then gestured toward the two new arrivals. “Serena, that’s Makayla Dixon and Sofia McLaughlin.”

  “Hello,” I said with a slight smile.

  “Does Jade know a PMN is sitting at the Zeta Beta table?” Makayla, the Halle Berry look-alike, asked, her upper lip drawn up.

  My grin wilted and I squirmed in my seat, glancing at Claire.

  Her smirk appeared absolutely feral. “She’s about to,” Claire replied evenly.

  Jade emerged from the food line with her tray, followed by Brooklyn and Kellan. Jade rocked a sporty style that resembled a model from a J. Crew catalogue. On her wrist hung a Kate Spade watch—silver with an oyster pearl face—that went well with Jade’s designer jeans, high-heeled boots, and a classic button-up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows.

  She sneered at the sight of me, and my stomach twisted. I wanted to run in a blind panic out the closest exit.

  “Good morning, Stalky!” Jade said, dropping her tray across from Claire.

  I huffed. “Do you have an automatic setting that defaults to bitch whenever I’m around?”

  Jade laughed and the others sniggered.

  “Stalky?” Sofia’s thinly waxed brows furrowed. “Oh! Right! You’re the stalker.” She laughed into her cupped hand.

  My body temperature shot up to nuclear levels.

  Sitting here today was an epically bad idea. Just bad, bad, bad.

  Jade rolled her eyes. “Sofia. Hashtag shut up.”

  Sofia’s mouth snapped closed, quashing her laughter and her pale skin flushed.

  Guess only high-and-mighty Jade got to call me names. Oh, goody.

  “Getting your own food, Jade?” Sofia asked lightly. “Don’t you have people to do that for you?”

  Jade nodded in my direction. “I do now.”

  Whatever that means. Makayla opened her mag. Kellan dropped down like a boulder next to Jade and brushed a curl from his forehead with a flick of his head. Up close, he was ridiculously good-looking, with piercing blue eyes. At six-foot-two and overly muscular, it was easy to understand why the other girls seemed to melt at the sight of him. As for me, I got nada. I had a vision of him and Jade playfully arguing over which one was prettier.

  “Hi, Serena.” Brooklyn slid onto a seat and slung her bag over her chair.

  Claire lifted her book and continued to read. I sipped my latte and said hello

  Brooklyn turned on her iPad. On her ears were diamond studs, flashing in the sunlight. She gave off this effortlessly street-chic vibe dressed in a stylish knit pullover with tight black jeans, leather knee-high boots, and a crocheted beanie that all screamed money. But I supposed having your face plastered on billboards and gracing magazine covers paid well. In contrast, Jade and Claire weren’t excessively beautiful like Brooklyn.

  “Hi, I’m Kellan Young.” Jade’s boyfriend flashed me a smile. Apparently, I did exist.

  “Hello, I’m Serena,” I said.

  Brooklyn bit off a piece of bacon from her plate. “Is Beaumont anything like your old college?”

  Sticky perspiration dampened my skin. Please don’t ask me why I transferred schools.

  I swallowed. “Um, it’s actually a lot different. More laidback, I guess. No one here drives Escalades or has Juicy Couture bags and carries around miniature dogs.”

  Kellan jerked his chin at me. “That’s right. I heard you were from SoCal. So lemme guess…your mother is a trophy wife and your dad is a Hollywood producer or actor. And your high school had its own reality TV show. And I bet all your friends were vapid and shallow clones,” he said with a chuckle. “Am I right?”

  Every muscle in my body tensed up. I wanted to smack that smirk right off his arrogant face.

  “Hardly, but since we’re trading lame stereotypes,” I said, “then your parents made their money in something Silicon Valley-related and you’re very familiar with the term compost. You drive a Prius, and you’re infuriatingly smug. Am I right?”

  Everyone at the table laughed and I relaxed somewhat. Even Kellan shook his head with a smile.

  “I like you, SoCal,” Kellan said to me.

  Jade nodded. “Hashtag snarky.”

  “What do you think of your professors?” Brooklyn asked. “What courses are you taking?”

  What’s with this girl and all the questions? Did she want my blood type, too?

  “You didn’t get a copy of the dossier and Power Point of my life that I sent out? Dang, the college email here is really slow,” I teased.

  Jade and Kellan grinned, and Brooklyn’s face turned pink.

  “You don’t need to give her the third degree,” Claire said flippantly.

  Shifting in her seat, Brooklyn muttered, “Sorry.”

  “She has this weird need to know everything about everybody,” Jade explained.

  “As if she doesn’t already,” Makayla said under her breath.

  Brooklyn ducked her head, hiding behind her iPad, and my heart went out to her. Although I was thankful to be out from under the microscope.

  “Serena, why would you transfer colleges after your freshmen year?” Makayla asked.

  So much for being saved. My latte threatened to come back up. Every time someone asked me this, it felt like I’d been dropped into a pit of hissing vipers. One wrong answer could come back to bite me on the ass. Although, I knew lying about my reasons for coming to Beaumont were wrong, it was also kind of fun to keep reinventing myself, but I knew if I kept it up, eventually my harmless deceptions would cause a big smudge on my relationships.

  Still, the lies just came pouring out of my mouth again…

  “During my freshmen year of college, my best friend was found dead in her family’s pool house. My father was sheriff at the time and he accused my BFF’s father, Alex, of concealing evidence about the murder…” I sighed and clutched at my throat before continuing in a faint voice, “Not only was I heartbroken, but the entire community was outraged that my dad suspected Alex of the murder. I had to get away from all those painful memories. It was just too much, you know?”

  They all stared at me.

  “Wow. It sounds like an episode of Veronica Mars,” Brooklyn said with a raised eyebrow. “And I thought your dad was a senator.”

  Crappity crap. I’d been caught lying. Think, Serena, think!

  “Yeah, I guess it kinda does sound like a sitcom.” Taking a sip of my drink, I licked foam off my lips and gazed out the windows. I felt somewhat bad for lying to them, but I figured everyone was guilty at some point in their lives of bending the truth, so what harm was there? And anyway, this was the very last time I lied to anyone. Ever. Unless, of course, I really, really had to. “And, um, I wasn’t feeling challenged enough at my old college and I heard that Beaumont had a great art department.”

  Claire peered over the rim of her book, but said nothing. The other girls chatted amongst themselves.

  “Hey, I remember you!” Kellan exclaimed suddenly. “You’re the girl with the sick Frisbee throwing skills. And Cole seemed totally smitten by you. First time, I’d ever seen him act so interested in a girl.”

  Claire glanced at me with raised eyebrows. “Oh?”

  A weak little laugh escaped me. “It was no biggie.”

  “Too bad I missed it,” Jade said and scooted closer to Kellan, as if to be too far away from her boyfriend would deprive her of oxygen. “Hashtag who cares.”

  A couple of frat boys walked over and bumped knuckles with Kellan. One sat on the table behind him while the other pulled out a chair and straddled it.

  “This is Bram U
nderwood,” Kellan said, thumbing over his shoulder at a guy with a ruggedly handsome face and one of those square chins with a sexy cleft.

  “Hey.” Bram jerked his chin in my direction. “And that loser is Ethan Reynolds.”

  The metro-sexual guy scoffed, and Kellan punched him hard in the arm. I recognized him from the Gamma Alpha Delta party—he was the one who’d asked me to dance. To my right, the double doors opened and my head snapped up. Vanessa and Raven strolled in with another sophomore girl from our dorm. No sign of Cole.

  Vanessa scanned the cafeteria as if looking for me. When her gaze landed on the Zeta Beta table, she elbowed Raven, who glowered with her piggy nostrils flaring even wider.

  “Do you play any sports, Serena?” Brooklyn asked out of nowhere.

  I tore my gaze away from Raven’s and frowned. Was this another Zeta Beta pledge interview?

  “Just tennis,” I said.

  “Just like you, babe,” Kellan said, slinging his arm over Jade’s chair.

  “We have so much in common, don’t we, PNM?” Jade stared at me. “Except for those unstealthy stalkery skills.”

  Wow. Guess the minuscule amount of respect I’d gained in art class didn’t transmit into the real world.

  Sofia laughed and Makayla fidgeted in her seat. Brooklyn was picking apart her bagel, piling all the chunks up in a mound on the side of her plate.

  “Shut it!” Jade snapped at Sofia.

  Sofia’s wicked laughter died. She got up, pulled her backpack onto her shoulders, and shot me a scathing look before stomping off. Makayla rolled her eyes and followed Sofia through the doors.

  A guy grabbed the door just before it closed behind Makayla and my heart jerked, hoping it was Cole. Only a bunch of hungry-looking students. I sat back in my seat and glanced over at Claire. She lowered her hardback and scrutinized me closely.

  A stinging heat climbed into my face. “What?”

  Claire turned in her seat to face Jade’s boyfriend. “Kellan, do you know if Cole is having breakfast in the caf today?”