by Bella Jewel
When I open my eyes, Scarlett has stopped singing and is looking toward the big glass panel that the producers of the album sit behind, changing the tones, changing the pitch, and making the song sound incredible. I follow her eyes and see Maverick and Malakai standing, both of them staring at me. Malakai has a newspaper in his hand, and his eyes look ... concerned, but also kind of pissed off.
My body instantly knows something is wrong. It’s funny how your body does that, it just knows when things are about to go bad, or something terrible is about to happen. It puts you on alert, perhaps as a way of protecting you, maybe to soften the blow. It doesn’t matter, all I know is I can feel Malakai’s eyes.
He looks like he wants to explode at me, and yet at the same time, like he’s about to break my world right open.
“Something is wrong,” I tell Scarlett.
She looks to me, smiles like she’s as worried as I am but doesn’t want me to see it, and stands. “Let’s go and find out what’s going on.”
I pull my earphones off and walk slowly out of the room. My ankle is mostly okay to walk on, but it is still a little tender if I push it too hard. I shove through the door and stop in front of Malakai. “Something has happened.”
It isn’t a question.
It’s a statement.
I know something has happened. I just don’t know what it is.
“Might want to sit down.”
Not only is his voice hard, but it tells me one thing.
It’s bad.
Nobody tells you to sit down if it isn’t bad.
“Malakai,” I whisper, eyes pleading with him to just tell me what’s going on. “Please.”
His face is hard, and it’s terrifying. He looks to Scarlett quickly, and then hands me the newspaper.
I stare at the front page. For a moment, my vision blurs, and it takes me a moment to honestly believe what it is I’m seeing, but there is no missing the words scrawled across the front cover.
“Car accident victim finally speaks out.”
It doesn’t seem so bad, when you read it like that, but it’s the words that follow, the pictures, all of it. My heart feels like it stops and my body prickles as I let the words sink into my mind, and literally shatter my heart.
“Caiden Morrison has held his silence for over a year after a terrifying accident took his livelihood and career. Caiden said it’s time he spoke up, it’s time he got the help and support he deserves. Local reporters interviewed Caiden about his horrific ordeal, after finding out that the love of his life, and the woman who caused the accident, has been found to be associating with local bikers, touring with country music superstar Scarlett Belle, and leaving him home alone, worried the woman he loves, is cheating on him.”
No.
This isn’t happening.
I stare at the picture of Caiden’s burned, broken face on the front cover. It’s the worst possible picture they could have used. He looks broken, and battered, and it was taken only days after his bandages were off. Then there’s a photo of me with Scarlett, laughing, head flicked back, looking like I don’t have a care in the world.
It was a photo before my attack from Treyton. Before everything started going so badly. I look happy, and free, and literally like the worst human being on the planet. I frantically flick to page three where the rest of the interview lies. My eyes blur and my heart races as I read the words that officially send my world spiralling down.
“Can you tell us about the accident?”
That’s the first question.
Caiden’s answer makes my stomach twist.
“We were driving home, from dinner. We were arguing about something, I’m not sure what. Amalie turned to me, and she was yelling. I don’t remember much, but I remember telling her to watch the road. She wouldn’t listen. She just kept on yelling, and looking over at me. Then suddenly we were spiralling out of control. I woke up like this.”
“Did you and Amalie remain together after the accident?”
The second question.
“Yes, we did. I didn’t blame her. I knew she wouldn’t intentionally hurt me. It was an accident. It was her actions after the accident that broke my heart.”
“What actions were those?”
My eyes blur as he answers that question with a blatant lie. A filthy, filthy lie.
“Well, we had been together over four years. She claimed she loved me, and that my ... face ... wouldn’t affect how she felt about me. I had carers around the clock. I couldn’t walk. I can still barely walk. Amalie started visiting less and less, I tried to call, tried to get hold of her, but she went on tour. She was gone for months.”
“Why did she go on tour when she knew you needed her help?”
I shake my head. No. No. This isn’t happening. Why is he doing this to me? Is this his idea of revenge? Is he trying to get back at me? What the hell kind of game is he playing? Is this because he knows that I spent time with Malakai?
“I don’t know why she chose to go on tour. I begged her not to. She said she needed to follow her dreams. That I couldn’t put her life on hold any longer. I asked her if it was over, if she just wanted me to move on with my life, and she told me no. That she loved me. That she wouldn’t be gone for long. I believed her. I loved her. I wanted her to follow her dreams, so I waited for her to come back.”
“What happened then? You found out recently she has been seeing a local biker?”
No. No. No.
“Yes, I found out she was seeing somebody else. I have photo evidence of her riding around with him on the back of his bike. She rarely visits, and when she does she’s distant. I heard she was dealing in bad things, that her life was starting to take a turn for the worst. Ever since she started touring with Scarlett Belle, and spending time with those bikers, she’s ... different.”
“How so?”
“I don’t want to say it, but I think she has her hand in some bad things. Why else would she be spending time with people she’s never had an interest in?”
“And do you think she’s been unfaithful?”
“I know she has. What I don’t understand, is why she simply won’t tell me she’s done with me. If she doesn’t want to be with me, she can always leave. Nobody is stopping her.”
“Do you love her, Mr. Morrison?”
“With all of my heart. It’s killing me to watch this happen. I had to speak out about the accident. I had to tell my story. I’m living in agony. The love of my life is leaving me behind for local criminals and a country music star.”
“Do you think your looks have anything to do with her sudden change of heart?”
God.
This isn’t happening.
It isn’t.
“Yes. I think it has everything to do with it. She feels guilty, so she’s staying with me, but she doesn’t really love me. She’s spending her free time with men far better looking, who are stronger and better for her. But I’d be good for her, if I could. She just won’t give me the chance. Beauty is only skin deep, I wish she’d remember the love we shared before the accident.”
“And do you think her sudden entrance into country music, and the time spent with Scarlett Belle, has made things more difficult for the repair of your relationship?”
“Yes. Without a doubt. Scarlett Belle was known to be messing around with the same bikers, only recently. She nearly threw her own career away. Now she’s taking my girlfriend on the same path.”
“Thank you so much for your time today, Caiden.”
I slam the newspaper down, fingers trembling, and look up. Scarlett was standing right beside me the whole time, I didn’t even realize until her warm hand settles on my shoulder, but my eyes go straight to Malakai.
“Is it true?”
I don’t know how to answer that without making things so much worse. He’s looking at me like I’ve let him down, like I’ve just changed the way he thought about me forever. That isn’t what I wanted, it’s never what I wanted. I should have told them th
e truth, before this, because now, it won’t matter what I say, I’m going to sound like the worst human being in the world.
“Malakai,” I whisper.
“Is it fuckin’ true?” he roars, and I flinch.
I don’t need to hear sound, to feel the anger his words shoot right in my direction.
“Please,” I say, my voice shaking. “Let me explain.”
“It’s a simple answer,” Maverick says, voice calm, but hard. “Is it true, or is it not?”
“Not in the way he put it,” I try to say, but my heart feels like it’s going to explode out of my chest. “He made me sound ... awful. But it’s not like that, not at all.”
“So you fuckin’ lied?” Malakai says, and the betrayal and hurt in his eyes makes me want to curl up and die.
“No,” I croak. “I never lied. I never told the story. I just ... if you’ll let me explain. If you’ll let me tell you what really happened.”
“I thought you were the fuckin’ one.”
With that, he turns and walks out. I watch him go, the first of my tears sliding down my cheeks, followed by more. He hates me. He has every right to. I should have told him from the start, but I never imagined things could get this ugly. I never thought Caiden would ever do something like that. Even in all his rage, I never thought he’d do this.
Maverick turns, and I watch him go over to Scarlett. They start talking, but my vision is too blurred to pay any attention to what they’re saying. Back and forth, their voices go, and I just stand there, vacant. They’re fighting, I can see it in the way Scarlett waves her arms around. She’s angry.
She isn’t supposed to be angry.
This is my battle, not hers.
Maverick turns, shooting me an angry glare, and then he walks out, too.
Scarlett rushes over.
“Honey, are you okay?”
“You shouldn’t be fighting with Maverick for me,” I whisper, my voice barely there.
“Maverick can suck my dick,” she says, looking directly at me. “He might not be willing to hear you out, but I am. And Malakai can take second round. Jerk off.”
It makes me feel a little better, for a split second.
But the reality of the situation is that Caiden has effectively made me pay for what I did.
“Let’s take a walk,” Scarlett tells me, pulling my arm and hooking it through hers. “It’s time for you to tell me a story.”
Yes.
I think it is time.
-10-
THEN – AMALIE
“I’m guessing we’re over, but I wanted to make sure,” I whisper to Caiden.
It’s the first time I’ve seen him since he’s been home.
He hasn’t allowed me to come around, but finally he let me in.
He’s staying with his parents, in a house that’s far too big, but they’re providing the care he needs, which is more important than anything else. He needs help that they can afford, and they’ll make sure he gets the best of the best.
“What do you think?” he spits at me, glaring right through me. “Of course we’re over. I can’t stand you, Amalie.”
That hurts.
I don’t love Caiden, but seeing him like this splits my heart wide open, because it isn’t his fault, and he has every right to feel raw anger. I wouldn’t wish something like this on my worst enemy, let alone a man, that once, I did love.
“I’m sorry, Caiden. I know that doesn’t mean anything, but-”
“Of course it doesn’t mean anything,” he barks. “It means nothing to me. Nothing at fucking all. Don’t you come in here acting like you care about me, we both know you’re only here out of guilt...”
“I do care about you, Caiden...I do...”
“Bullshit!” he bellows. “You only changed your tune because of the accident, if it never happened, you’d be on your way to start your new life right now.”
He’s right, and that only makes it all hurt that much more.
“Caiden,” I whisper, tears in my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry!” he barks. “That means fucking nothing to me now.”
I flinch.
I don’t know what else I can say, or do.
I’m helpless right now.
I don’t know what the right thing is anymore.
“I’ll be here every day, I’ll help you in any way I can. I’ll do anything.”
“I don’t want you here every day,” he screams. “I want you out of my house, and out of my life.”
He lunges forward without realising, and falls from his wheelchair. He lands on the ground with a thump. I lean down quickly, trying to help him, heart racing. “Let me go,” he screams, pushing up with his hands. “Let me go you fucking bitch!”
There is a coldness in his eyes that penetrates deep into my soul.
He really does hate me.
His mother runs in, kneeling down, calling out to his carer.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Get out!” he screams. “Get out!”
I turn and run out of the house, eyes blurred, not paying any attention. I caught a bus here, so I run out onto the street and without thought, onto the road. I forgot I can’t hear, that happens sometimes, especially when I’m upset, and I do stupid things that I’d usually rely on my hearing for. A horn blares, and I scream, falling onto the road, pressing my hands over my face to try and make the sound stop.
The horns keep blaring.
Someone gets out of a car and comes over to me, a man. He leans down and carefully touches my shoulder. I look up at him, and the cars whizzing past, beeping wildly at us, and he smiles warmly. “Come now,” he says. “Let’s get you up.”
He helps me up and off the road, and when we reach the side, I point to my ears. His eyes widen and he nods. I’ve started learning sign language, and a few people have started using it with me, but mostly I prefer to read lips. I find it easier. The man looks at me, and asks, “Can you understand me?”
I nod.
“Are you hurt?”
I shake my head.
“I was just waiting for a bus, I didn’t think and ran out onto the road...”
“That’s okay. Do you need a ride?”
I shake my head. “No,” I whisper. “I’m okay here. The bus will arrive soon. Thank you, for helping me.”
He makes sure I’m okay, and then gets back in his car and drives off. When I’m alone again, I press my hands over my ears and cry.
God dammit.
Why did my world take such an ugly turn?
Surely I didn’t deserve this...did I?
~*~*~*~
NOW - AMALIE
“Where do I start?” I say, as we walk.
I glance quickly at Scarlett and she gives me a warm look. “From the beginning, I’ll be listening.”
She keeps hold of me, and I start talking.
“We were together for the time he told the reporters. We weren’t close, like he made out. He had a flair for the dramatic, and we weren’t the best match. I tried, I did love him, but it was dragging me down. He was so serious. So controlled. Every time I’d try to leave, he wouldn’t accept it. He’d make me feel so guilty and convince me I was wrong, so I’d end up staying.”
Scarlett squeezes me softly to let me know she’s still listening.
“I finally decided that it wasn’t fair for me to keep staying with him, when I wasn’t truly happy, so I told him it was over. My fault was that I did do it in the car, just like he said. He got angry, wouldn’t take it, and then told me to pull over so we could talk. I said we’d wait until we got home and he pulled on the wheel, screaming at me to pull over. The car lost control.”
I take a shaky breath, reliving the awful moment like it was yesterday.
“It flipped and rolled, and when it finally stopped, I was hurt, quite badly. I couldn’t hear, my ears were bleeding, and my legs were stuck. I kept coming in and out of consciousness. Someone
came and got me out. I managed to help them get Caiden out, but something sparked a fire, and the car lit up. He was stuck, and a big portion of his body got burned before we could take him out. We did get him out, right before the car blew up.”
Scarlett squeezes again, this time for a little longer. I stare right ahead and keep walking. If I look at her, the tears will come and I’ll never be able to stop them.
“It was a long road after that. For both of us. My hearing was permanently damaged, but his situation was much worse. He couldn’t walk, and he suffered serious burns. When he got out of the hospital, he had to do intensive therapy and is still only just able to take a few steps. He went into his parents’ house where they hired carers.”
I hate thinking of that awful time when he first got home and everything was terrifying. A new world that he wasn’t familiar with. And a hate in his heart that burned deep for me.
“He hated me. With a fire I couldn’t put out. He despised me and made it known. I had ruined his life. He didn’t want me around. I kept going. Every day. For ages his parents refused me. They wouldn’t let me see him. But I kept showing up, every single day, and finally they decided I owed it to him. So they let me in.”
Scarlett stops walking at a park bench, and we both sit down. She turns to me, eyes sad, face genuine. She reaches for my hands. “Are you two together still?”
“No. We weren’t together after the accident. He told me, in clear words, it was over and he wanted nothing to do with me. Of course, that could be anger speaking, and hatred, but he made it clear and we both knew it was over. I never made any promises. I just wanted to do my part, to stay with him, because he deserved that much.”
“If he hates you so much, why did he allow them to publish that article?”
I shake my head. “I’m not sure. I’m honestly not. Maybe out of anger, that I was starting to move on with my life. Maybe with some underlying jealousy. I really don’t know, all I know is he did it to destroy me. To make me suffer for hurting him. I don’t know.”