I looked up at the large tiles on the ceiling above me, alternating their color in my vision. I didn’t notice when a familiar touch brushed over my shoulder and up to my head, a soft, tender touch I would see nurses give their patients all the time, except this one lingered a little longer and became entangled in my hair. I focused on the beauty in front of me, for a second expecting Courtney to be smiling down at me. I was a little taken aback to realize it was Ally, smiling with her pageant perfect smile.
“Good afternoon, doctor.” She pulled in the chair and took a seat, crossing her legs. She was wearing light pink scrubs today.
“Hey,” I answered through a grumble of sleepy haze.
“Came back for the rest of your therapy session, feeling up for it?” Ally placed a hand on my upper thigh, still keeping full eye contact, trapping me in her gaze. There was something about her, something I couldn’t place. It was almost a dangerous edge, as if she knew just how much power she could wield, something else underneath rang there too.
“Yeah, I think so,” I said, starting to feel a little guilty again. I wanted this to be Courtney, but Ally was the nurse sitting by my side, her soft touch climbing higher and higher up my firm thigh.
“This doesn’t hurt, does it?” Ally asked, knowing damn well it wasn’t hurting me. I shook my head no and closed my eyes again, picturing Courtney’s hands exploring me, running over my thigh. For a second I almost considered telling her to stop, my rational side coming through and telling me it was wrong. Especially since I was a doctor in this hospital, but then her hands brushed against the bottom of my balls and I kept quiet.
I could feel a familiar swelling going from the base of my dick to the tip, engorging me. I couldn’t help but get hard at Ally’s touch. Her fingers kneaded into my muscular thigh, relieving the tension that pulled at the base of my groin. I laid my head back and let my cock once again strain against the white cloth of my hospital gown, the shape of it clearly outlined through the thin material. Ally’s hand slipped higher up my leg, just underneath my balls once again.
She squeezed, easing the blood flow that was directed straight at my crotch. I let out a small moan and pictured Courtney sitting there. It was fucked up, but it worked. I wanted her, I was just too fucked up to tell Ally to leave. And besides, Courtney and I weren’t anything, she could be fucking someone else right now and I would have no right to tell her no.
I took another deep breath as Ally’s hand cupped my now tightened balls, gently rolling them on her soft as silk palm. She looked up at me and licked her lip the slightest amount as I threw my head back, melting into her touch. I could feel my pre-cum drip down onto my tight core, leaving behind growing wet spots on the white fabric. Her hand slid higher, wrapping around the throbbing base, putting on a firm grip and climbing up to the top. She circled the tip of my dick, wetting her hand with my juices and traveled back down to my balls. She repeated this, stroking my stiff cock under my hospital gown, up and down. Cupping my balls and then moving back up, running her delicate finger around the glistening head, squeezing a groan out of me.
Ally leaned in and kissed my scruffy neck, no doubt scratching her delicate lips. She kissed her way up to my own lips and spread them apart with her tongue. I imagined Courtney’s sandy blonde hair falling down on our faces as her hand held tight to my pulsing cock. I groaned into her mouth as she continued to jack me off, her movements getting faster, more passionate. She was bringing me closer and closer to the edge.
“Keep stroking that cock, baby,” I whispered into her neck. She worked harder now, pumping me with her closed fist. I grunted again into her neck as I felt myself climb up and fall straight over the edge. My hips thrusted upwards as my toes curled together, a soul-shattering orgasm ripping through me, pumping my white, hot cum onto the inside of my gown. The pleasure was immense, mixed with the medication that was still coursing through me. It was pure ecstasy.
Fireworks continued to erupt as Ally cooled my body down, keeping her hand on my softening cock. She kissed my neck lightly and leaned over for a napkin.
“Wow,” I said, feeling my body still shake from the aftershocks wracking through my muscles. The drugs fucked with my head, but Ally fucked with my whole body, with everything I was. She was just as dangerous as the drugs.
If only I knew.
“Safe to say, you’re on your way to a full recovery,” Ally whispered in my ear. She got up and walked over to the counter. I saw her reach into the deep pockets on the side of her scrubs and pull out two small pills. I knew what they were from a mile away. She placed the two vicodins down on the table and winked at me.
“Our little secret?” she said, whispering again with a finger put up to her thick, sexy lips. I looked from the pills to her face, shocked with what was going on. I was ok with getting a handjob from a hot nurse, but what was she doing offering me painkillers? Painkillers that I’m sure she didn’t have a prescription for, so where the hell did she get them from?
“Oh, come on, Jace, don’t play games with me.”
Wait… What? Jace? Only a couple of people called me that name, the people from my past. The past that I decided to leave far, far behind me.
“Are you really going to act dumb?” she asked, looking at me as though I were joking about this whole thing. I scanned my brain, I tried to remember some shred of information that would lead me to understand who Ally was to me, but I couldn’t put two and two together.
“Marco. My brother.”
And then everything fell into place, into a terrifying puzzle finally put together in its entirety, revealing a horrific picture. It was the kind of puzzle you buy at the dollar store for snow days spent locked inside. Except, instead of a tranquil scene of some random Canadian waterfall, the picture was much grimmer.
“You’re Alejandra? The little girl that would ride around with us sometimes?”
I started remembering times of driving around Compton, Marco at the driver’s wheel in his old, sun-stained green Ford Mustang that still managed to sound like a brand new formula one race car. His sister, always wearing some kind of Hello Kitty memorabilia, sat in the center back, excitedly asking questions about where we were going. She had no idea we were on our way to pick up what we needed for the night. And she would never know, at least not to my knowledge.
I got the feeling now that she was well aware of Marco’s drug involvement. Something about the way she handled those pills, the glance she kept giving them as though her body was trying to remind her she needed her dose.
“Yep, and you’re Jason Silvers. I can’t believe you don’t remember me,” she said, sitting up on the counter now, the back of her rubber crocs hitting the metal handle of the cabinet underneath. I noticed she sounded hurt by that, like really hurt. As if I was expected to remember something, maybe everything, about her.
“You became a nurse?” I asked, stating the obvious for lack of finding anything better to say. I was just jacked off by my drug dealer’s little sister.
“Yep, decided to get my life somewhat in order after a little scare with the police. Nothing major,” she added off of my look. “I was just caught shoplifting some food. They let me go but warned me I was in their system. Scared the shit out of me so I stopped cold turkey that day.”
I watched her snap a rubber band down on her left wrist, the material bouncing off her tender skin, leaving behind a sharp red mark. She did it two more times before stopping.
“And Marco?” I asked, curious as to how that mess of a kid turned out.
“He’s good. Works as a freelance construction worker or something like that.”
She didn’t mention if he was clean or not.
“Listen, I don’t blame you for anything that happened back then,” she said, like a priest absolving his sinner. She looked down at me from her perch on the counter.
“I forgive you for it,” she paused, “you probably saved him.”
I nodded, hoping she would drop the subject. I hated bringing up a
nything that was pre-college for me. I never wanted to remember the days I spent wasted away on some sort of dangerous substance, buried cock deep in some dumb slut. I knew what she was referring to, I just didn’t want to bring it back up.
“And me. You saved me too.”
She wasn’t quitting.
“Yeah, glad you two made it out on the good side of the tracks,” I said, hoping to steer the conversation off in a different direction.
“We couldn’t have done it without you ratting Marco out.”
And there it was. The bomb that dropped in the room, leaving my ears ringing in the aftermath. It was true. I went to the police and ratted Marco out. But I was also the one that anonymously warned the house that the police were on their way. This allowed the drug-addled residents to flush away most of the evidence, which explains why Marco wasn’t spending his life behind bars. I never wanted him to rot away in jail, I just wanted them all to have the same wake up call I had. I needed them to understand that there was more to life than needles and powders and pills.
Apparently word got out somehow that I was the one who told. The skeeze ball that weaseled my way into a police station and drew out a clear picture for them, making it as easy as second grade math to find the drug dealer along with the two others.
I was glad that they didn’t seem to hold a grudge against me for it.
“Well, I’ve got to go do the rest of my rounds. Here, like I said; its our little secret,” she whispered again, closing my fist around the two little pills as she twirled and left, her ass bouncing in the tight scrubs.
I looked down at my hand and shut my eyes tight.
The pills went down smooth.
But they didn’t stop the nightmare. The same nightmare I had after I was put in a hospital bed by a crazy asshole.
It was horrible.
CHAPTER SIX
I woke up to Ryan flicking my forehead impatiently, his face still a little swollen from the incident but overall just as good looking as the asshole always was. Seriously, the guy never failed to give me a run for my money with his extremely endearing and confident prince charming approach to life while keeping the appearance of an Express model.
He always did like that store.
“Finally, you’re awake, dork.” He grinned and came in for an awkward hospital bed hug. The kind that can only be completed half way and at an unnatural angle, but we got through it.
“I see you’re back to your usual self,” I said, looking him over and noticing he had no signs of wear and tear. A bandage covered his shoulder, the white cushiony looking cover peaking out from his rolled up sleeve. He liked showing off his muscles, I assumed it was because he grew up being a really skinny kid. So now he was like a kid in a really fucking awesome candy shop and he wanted everyone to know about it.
“Yeah, I’m not gonna be able to hit the gym with you anytime soon but other than that I can’t complain,” he gave his arm a small circular motion, keeping the muscles moving underneath. I tried to do the same with mine.
“Don’t worry, I doubt I’ll be lifting weights either,” I said, feeling a sharp spike course through my body and remind me that it was almost time for another dose of pain medication.
“How’s Emma?” I asked, wondering how that poor girl was doing through all of this. I figured she had to feel some sort of blame for bringing everyone together, but I knew Ryan would bring her out of that. I had watched them interact with each other and already decided Emma was Ryan’s perfect match. They both complemented each other in the best of ways.
A pang of jealousy rang through me as I realized just how much my near-death experience was making me want what Ryan had just found.
“She’s doing good. Better than I thought to be honest. She’s really hopeful about everything and that helps keep my mood up. We missed you though,” he said. I could sense how scared he was as he spoke. They didn’t miss me. They were scared of losing me.
I pressed the trigger again, pre-numbing the emotions that were starting to take hold.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
“Courtney wouldn’t stop talking about you either,” Ryan said, enunciating her name a little too clearly, like that was the one piece of the sentence I needed to hear. And I did hear it. At the mention of her name, my attention was entirely turned on Ryan. It was like the whole middle-school thing again, except this time I was getting insider information from a mutual friend. Like Martha Stewart trading for stock info, here I was trying to trade for info on my love interest.
“Oh really?” I dug, trying to be as nonchalant as possible but on the inside I was feeling more excited than that one time I found out my whole family was going on a week-long Disney cruise trip.
I was seven, cut me some slack.
“Yeah, Emma mentioned that she’s never seen her so worried before,” Ryan said, looking over at my vital signs flashing on the computer screen. I knew he was using all we learned back in medical school to make sure I wasn’t somehow dying without anyone else realizing it.
“Wow, who would have thought?” I asked, trying to brush off the subject but secretly compartmentalizing the information.
“I certainly wouldn’t have. You guys hadn’t talked much beforehand,” Ryan said, always the one to state the obvious.
“We’ve talked plenty of times before. Maybe it just took her a near-death experience to realize what a catch I am,” I joked.
“Yeah well, try not to have too many more of them, ok?”
I smiled over at my best friend, feeling the edges of my focus start to blur from the effects of the painkiller.
“Just because you asked.”
He looked relieved. Relieved at having his, for all intents and purposes, brother back, and I was happy to have him back. That asshole helped keep me on track all through the four grueling years it took to get through medical school. Without him, I may have crumbled under the pressure, falling back into my old cycle. It was a bad habit of mine, repeating my mistakes whenever I felt pressured, but he had kept that in check.
“Fucked up, huh?” he said, breaking the moment of silence. Saying it as if we all watched the same fucked up movie, as if what had just happened was some sort of distant dream we all psychically shared after finding out we were all warlocks. And to be honest, that’s pretty much how I felt about it too. I didn’t want to really think about what happened to land me in the hospital, because it was so incredibly fucked up.
And what was worse was the complete unexpectedness of it all. I mean, I saw death almost every day, I know the trauma it inflicts on everyone involved. But what I hadn’t thought about until the day I was shot was that no one ever fucking expects it. I remembered putting on my new Nike sneakers, neon green trim and black checkmark on a white background, then walking over to the kitchen where I had a bowl of fruit loops, not actually knowing that it could have been the last time I ever put those shoes on or ate a cold bowl of milk with my favorite cereal in it. It was a weird, mind-fucking experience that made me want to shut it all off.
That’s why my thumb pushed down on the button.
It was becoming a reflex.
“Yeah, man,” was all I could say, and for us it was all that needed to be said. We both now had our demons we needed to fight, the gun only bringing them further to the surface. I knew Ryan was going through some stuff before the near-death experience so I imagined he was going through as rough a time as me. Saying anything else made these things seem even realer than they needed to be. No, right now we needed to focus on healing ourselves before we could be strong enough to tackle the other bullshit.
That’s why I needed the drugs.
Right?
“Fuck it, we made it out alive,” Ryan said, picking up his pitch and trying to bury the subject under the proverbial rug. He slapped his thighs and refocused.
“So what are you going to do about Courtney?”
I took a second to think about it. Then I took another second to remember the way Courtne
y smelled whenever she would turn really quick, which she usually did, and her perfume would end up blowing my way. Then I took another second to imagine Courtney bent over, naked and red from a spanking.
“I’m not sure,” I answered, still imagining Courtney laid out on my navy blue bed sheets, her skin a pale pink in contrast.
“She’s pretty hot,” he stated the obvious, again.
“Yeah, and there’s something there too. I could feel it, I just don’t know if I’m ready,” I said, the honesty in my voice cracking through. I wanted to sound less like I cared, as if I just wanted to have a one-night stand in the back of my Audi and leave her on her doorstep. It was a weird, primal reaction to it all, but it was still my urge. Even if Ryan was my best friend, someone who knew me like I know all the Fast and Furious movies, I still wanted to put on this air of machoness. It was Courtney. She was my weakness, something I had never really encountered before.
Someone that I could see myself with in the long run.
“Ready? Come on, man, you’ve been ready since we graduated. You just can’t keep your dick in your pants,” he said.
“Exactly,” there wasn’t much I could deny, “but I think that life is over with… Well, after Ally,” I said, dropping her name nonchalantly, knowing Ryan would pick up on it. I gave him the rundown on the naughty nurse, excluding the Vicodin parts since there were some things that even Ryan couldn’t know about. He had an expression that seemed like it was a mix between concern and pride.
“In this bed?” he asked, pointing down.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“Wow… well not bad I guess?”
“Not bad at all.”
Numbed (The White Coat Series) Page 4